Back from the freeze, a fair result?
Two fairly good natured sides trying to play and play fairly. Degenerated into bitchy, argumentative expletive ridden mayhem. Noone was nasty and noone got hurt and there were a few laughs. Why did it happen? Well the referee had an appallingly poor game. Whether his usual performance or an off day I wouldn't know but I know what I suspect. Every decision went their way except at the end when he missed Brendan fingertipping round the post to deny them a goal. Apparently all near the action saw it except the ref (and me I was too far away- about the same position as the ref). Mitigation, he only had one linesman ours, their linesman to our attacks became their back four, assisting a ref who was hardly up with the play and would find it geometrically impossible to judge an offside from his position. Yet he repeatedly did venture his "opinion" to deny our attacks! We and I would never have 'discussed' the issues with the Harpenden Rovers ref- we were warned we'd be off and he meant it. But hey give a dog a sniff and he'll wank a mile.
They missed a few in the first half but so did we, when through. We played a neat move to open the scoring through Martin and were all pleased with ourselves by half time. Richard was scythed down in the penalty area running in on goal, not seen by the ref. Seen by the right back though- certain penalty, but hey it's all about opinions! We reattached Richard's leg and played on.
Brendan replaced an injured Chris at half time, he fell off a ladder- before the game that is. Brendan coped well alongside man of the match Alistair.
They had few or even no chances in the second half and our team played well with a pleasing shape to it. Late on they scored from the spot after an innocuous piece of overguarding by our usual culprit in the far corner of the area led to a penalty when danger was nil. You've read this before? Too true , but we love him. Dave had a ferocious horizontal volley tipped over by their most potent force the keeper. Which brings up another moan about this "league of veterans". Fair enough allowing a 25-30 year old play as a keeper- 2010-2011 rules- but he launched all their attacks, wanted all their free kicks and even was up there to take their penalty. Howay, is it only John and I who have a view of what constitutes a legitimate veteran's league. Other than a league format fair enough we'll play against any ages.
Nuff grumbling, I enjoyed my full run out and discovered I can still do it.
When the referee gave a free kick against John for dodging out of a sandwich resulting in their two players dramatically colliding. John's noone's meat. Twas my laugh of the match.
Ron- aged 65 and a quarter
Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack
Monday 13 December 2010
Tuesday 23 November 2010
Knobs 0 Blunham Vets 5 - report by Twiggy
Darren 2, Blunham Vets 3, Knobs 0
It was a grey November morning when we emerged from the great green shed to confront our aggressors, Sandy masquerading as Blunham Vets, but where were they? According to Sir Ron they don’t normally kick-off ‘til 11 and this Sunday was no exception, so after a 30 minute warm up inside they eventually took to the field, looking like cats, waiting to pounce.
Our side was, perhaps, a little less able than usual, having had to cope with several defections during the week. Once again this gave us the chance to field our new Icelandic international, Rooney Gudrunnersson and with some changes at the back to ensure that the opposition would appreciate the value of true pace we got the game going.
A couple of early scares helped to meld the back four into a more effective unit in the first half despite a combined age of 105, and that was just among the centre-backs. We passed and parried, parried and passed, but in the end could find no way past and after 45 minutes we felt that we had accomplished something with the score staying at 0-0. All this despite their two front runners being quite lively, not surprising really since one of them, Nunu by name, looked considerably younger than his claimed 39 years. Its been a long time since I lived North of Watford and I had obviously forgotten what a hard life whippets don’t have!
The half time talk by Sir Ron was inspirational. “f**k me lads, we’ve got a chance here” lifted our spirits, at least until we kicked off again.
Within what seemed like seconds our fortunes were on the wain. With all the guile and finesse of a pregnant ballet dancer, an innocent enough looking cross was deftly flicked over Trevor’s head and into the gaping net....by Darren. “I haven’t done that for years” seemed like a satisfactory explanation at the time.
Yet a few minutes later Darren went for his second. A vicious cross fired in from the left found our right back doing his Mike Tyson impression on the goal line, his neck and head disappearing into the gap between his shoulders leaving just a pair of eyebrows and a yet-to-be-balding pate to head the ball away, or in this instance to head it into our open net for a second own goal. Never mind Darren, we don’t blame you – just thank god you didn’t go for the hat-trick.
Things settled down again for 10 minutes when we pressed for an opening to start to make things even. To be fair we were having just as much of the game as them and we thought we were still in with a chance. To Bully, to Darren, to Brendan, to Twiggy, to Bren...”oh f**k, shouldn’t have done that”...to their three onrushing forwards. Brendan got trampled in the ensuing stampede and left Nunu the whippet to race onto the free ball and rifle in a shot from just inside the area.
The disappointment was palpable, but we kept on going. Our most enterprising and incisive move followed soon after. Debbie glided unnoticed into the box to meet a neatly chipped cross just in front of goal. It was a header of sheer force, no glancing side-trick here, just a full-blooded, forehead ringing smacker! The crowd roared yet within an instant there was hush as everyone waited for the outcome of this attempt with all the anticipation of a midwife with no hands. Debbie wheeled round in celebratory fashion, only to wheel back to confirm that what he had seen in the corner of his eye was indeed their keeper making a reaction save at point blank range. The guy must have been a traffic officer in the past to have got his hand up that quickly, and thus we were thwarted once again.
Even the attentions of the usually lively Gavin and further pressure from our midfielders and front-runners proved fruitless. We just couldn’t score despite getting close in to their area quite frequently. They didn’t seem to have this kind of difficulty, putting in two more in the closing stages from the left hand side.
5-0. Well, 3-0 really plus a little help from us!
Back to the Station Hotel bar and dining room for a well earned rest. Our centre backs as usual resorted to the tried and trusted method of honing their physiques and reactions next week with four pints of IPA.
Worryingly though, Sir Ron confirmed that at some point he may be relocating to Wales, eventually. Some say its a lack of consistency in the results, others the difficulty with the language barrier but I think its all about Sir Ron and Lady Crennel getting back to Gods country to eat grass and smoke lamb! Or was it the other way round? Tootle pip!
It was a grey November morning when we emerged from the great green shed to confront our aggressors, Sandy masquerading as Blunham Vets, but where were they? According to Sir Ron they don’t normally kick-off ‘til 11 and this Sunday was no exception, so after a 30 minute warm up inside they eventually took to the field, looking like cats, waiting to pounce.
Our side was, perhaps, a little less able than usual, having had to cope with several defections during the week. Once again this gave us the chance to field our new Icelandic international, Rooney Gudrunnersson and with some changes at the back to ensure that the opposition would appreciate the value of true pace we got the game going.
A couple of early scares helped to meld the back four into a more effective unit in the first half despite a combined age of 105, and that was just among the centre-backs. We passed and parried, parried and passed, but in the end could find no way past and after 45 minutes we felt that we had accomplished something with the score staying at 0-0. All this despite their two front runners being quite lively, not surprising really since one of them, Nunu by name, looked considerably younger than his claimed 39 years. Its been a long time since I lived North of Watford and I had obviously forgotten what a hard life whippets don’t have!
The half time talk by Sir Ron was inspirational. “f**k me lads, we’ve got a chance here” lifted our spirits, at least until we kicked off again.
Within what seemed like seconds our fortunes were on the wain. With all the guile and finesse of a pregnant ballet dancer, an innocent enough looking cross was deftly flicked over Trevor’s head and into the gaping net....by Darren. “I haven’t done that for years” seemed like a satisfactory explanation at the time.
Yet a few minutes later Darren went for his second. A vicious cross fired in from the left found our right back doing his Mike Tyson impression on the goal line, his neck and head disappearing into the gap between his shoulders leaving just a pair of eyebrows and a yet-to-be-balding pate to head the ball away, or in this instance to head it into our open net for a second own goal. Never mind Darren, we don’t blame you – just thank god you didn’t go for the hat-trick.
Things settled down again for 10 minutes when we pressed for an opening to start to make things even. To be fair we were having just as much of the game as them and we thought we were still in with a chance. To Bully, to Darren, to Brendan, to Twiggy, to Bren...”oh f**k, shouldn’t have done that”...to their three onrushing forwards. Brendan got trampled in the ensuing stampede and left Nunu the whippet to race onto the free ball and rifle in a shot from just inside the area.
The disappointment was palpable, but we kept on going. Our most enterprising and incisive move followed soon after. Debbie glided unnoticed into the box to meet a neatly chipped cross just in front of goal. It was a header of sheer force, no glancing side-trick here, just a full-blooded, forehead ringing smacker! The crowd roared yet within an instant there was hush as everyone waited for the outcome of this attempt with all the anticipation of a midwife with no hands. Debbie wheeled round in celebratory fashion, only to wheel back to confirm that what he had seen in the corner of his eye was indeed their keeper making a reaction save at point blank range. The guy must have been a traffic officer in the past to have got his hand up that quickly, and thus we were thwarted once again.
Even the attentions of the usually lively Gavin and further pressure from our midfielders and front-runners proved fruitless. We just couldn’t score despite getting close in to their area quite frequently. They didn’t seem to have this kind of difficulty, putting in two more in the closing stages from the left hand side.
5-0. Well, 3-0 really plus a little help from us!
Back to the Station Hotel bar and dining room for a well earned rest. Our centre backs as usual resorted to the tried and trusted method of honing their physiques and reactions next week with four pints of IPA.
Worryingly though, Sir Ron confirmed that at some point he may be relocating to Wales, eventually. Some say its a lack of consistency in the results, others the difficulty with the language barrier but I think its all about Sir Ron and Lady Crennel getting back to Gods country to eat grass and smoke lamb! Or was it the other way round? Tootle pip!
Monday 15 November 2010
Knobs 2 MBDA 5
A close first half 2-2, then subsidence when we kicked downhill. It could have ended up a thrashing. Perhaps it was.
One or two thoughts.
It's not easy at Vets level to compete in a straightforward way to win. Everyone tries but the problem always is, and will be, the compulsory use of subs- albeit roll on and off or whatever. The first eleven to start is not always the best competetive team. Everyone would have different views on that anyway before we even embark on tactics and individual expectations. Sometimes the use of subs comes off and we win or draw and sometimes it doesn't and we lose. Yesterday it didn't. When it doesn't seem to be working, matters can slip from bad to worse. Heads go down, little cabals develop on the field, individuals start doing what individuals do best following their own individual agendas. So we lost. So was it enjoyable, well probably, cos it was a flowing, aggro free game
despite the second half struggle and the result. And despite the newly found argumentative streak from Monsieur Boyle - he's been watching too much of the Under 7's.
I firmly believe if we had proceeded in the second half with the team set up and personnel we started the game with we would have won. But as mentioned above and on previous occasions we are always in danger of jettisoning any impetus, shape and flow of a performance by using subs compulsorily. Doesn't even matter really who has to come on, more often than not the performance is often adversely affected. And I thought it was yesterday. This is no criticism merely an observation of the reality of our set up.
We took the lead with a lovely, brave opportunist header from John Boyle from a long cross to the far post by Chris Wilson. We were warned they had some good footballers, some youth, and some know how and they equalised when a swerving shot was well parried by Trevor only to find noone anticipating from our side, resulting in a smash in at second attempt.
Our lead was restored by Andy set free by....? and banged in unopposed.
Their equaliser might have been fortuitous in that the ball was smashed against their midfielder Chris Smith pointblank, who ran onto the ball and scored top corner from 20 yards. Picture finish. Handball? I didn't think so. Certainly no intent to handle if it indeed did hit his hands (which I couldn't see) and anyway he hardly controlled it! Certainly controlled the shot mind!
Gavin came off shortly before half time, to be replaced by Tony of locked in the lavatory fame, returning from injury. John Boyle having had a blinder first half, nowhere more than in the effort department was substituted for Martin who replaced Chris W, positionally, the latter moving to left midfield and half an hour's isolation. See it was all a little difficult. Ten minutes into the second half, by which time we were trailing by 2, Tony of locked in the lavatory fame was taken off for presumably an early bath/shite or what. Don't worry Tony "you're my favourite" and by the way Alistair doesn't do Christmas cards so don't worry.
We were rather open defensively , second half, and they punished us. But hey they played well and it wasn't all down to our own frailties. Helluva good goal by the tubular winger- don't often concede one like that! All shimmy and footwork then a clever placed finish, Trevor couldn't have spotted through the crowd.
One criticism second half. We don't have a great header of the ball up front and each of Trevor's booming clearances, from hand, were comfortably headed clear by the centre half, in a flawless display of unchallenged heading as each one came unerringly and centrally onto his head.. Trev's boomers should have gone wide, see if the centre half liked running 30 yards left or right to head clear, or we should have been content to persevere by building up from the back through the middle. Our strengths????? No togetherness in sorting that out on the pitch. How do we want to play, what do we think our strengths are- these are things that should occupy our thoughts no matter who the personnel on the park are.
Second half it has to be said our attacking players were well shackled.
A few in the pub. Home in the rain. Decided lack of enthusiasm being shown for Blunham game next week- lots of injuries and non availability. It's at home!
Toodle pip
One or two thoughts.
It's not easy at Vets level to compete in a straightforward way to win. Everyone tries but the problem always is, and will be, the compulsory use of subs- albeit roll on and off or whatever. The first eleven to start is not always the best competetive team. Everyone would have different views on that anyway before we even embark on tactics and individual expectations. Sometimes the use of subs comes off and we win or draw and sometimes it doesn't and we lose. Yesterday it didn't. When it doesn't seem to be working, matters can slip from bad to worse. Heads go down, little cabals develop on the field, individuals start doing what individuals do best following their own individual agendas. So we lost. So was it enjoyable, well probably, cos it was a flowing, aggro free game
despite the second half struggle and the result. And despite the newly found argumentative streak from Monsieur Boyle - he's been watching too much of the Under 7's.
I firmly believe if we had proceeded in the second half with the team set up and personnel we started the game with we would have won. But as mentioned above and on previous occasions we are always in danger of jettisoning any impetus, shape and flow of a performance by using subs compulsorily. Doesn't even matter really who has to come on, more often than not the performance is often adversely affected. And I thought it was yesterday. This is no criticism merely an observation of the reality of our set up.
We took the lead with a lovely, brave opportunist header from John Boyle from a long cross to the far post by Chris Wilson. We were warned they had some good footballers, some youth, and some know how and they equalised when a swerving shot was well parried by Trevor only to find noone anticipating from our side, resulting in a smash in at second attempt.
Our lead was restored by Andy set free by....? and banged in unopposed.
Their equaliser might have been fortuitous in that the ball was smashed against their midfielder Chris Smith pointblank, who ran onto the ball and scored top corner from 20 yards. Picture finish. Handball? I didn't think so. Certainly no intent to handle if it indeed did hit his hands (which I couldn't see) and anyway he hardly controlled it! Certainly controlled the shot mind!
Gavin came off shortly before half time, to be replaced by Tony of locked in the lavatory fame, returning from injury. John Boyle having had a blinder first half, nowhere more than in the effort department was substituted for Martin who replaced Chris W, positionally, the latter moving to left midfield and half an hour's isolation. See it was all a little difficult. Ten minutes into the second half, by which time we were trailing by 2, Tony of locked in the lavatory fame was taken off for presumably an early bath/shite or what. Don't worry Tony "you're my favourite" and by the way Alistair doesn't do Christmas cards so don't worry.
We were rather open defensively , second half, and they punished us. But hey they played well and it wasn't all down to our own frailties. Helluva good goal by the tubular winger- don't often concede one like that! All shimmy and footwork then a clever placed finish, Trevor couldn't have spotted through the crowd.
One criticism second half. We don't have a great header of the ball up front and each of Trevor's booming clearances, from hand, were comfortably headed clear by the centre half, in a flawless display of unchallenged heading as each one came unerringly and centrally onto his head.. Trev's boomers should have gone wide, see if the centre half liked running 30 yards left or right to head clear, or we should have been content to persevere by building up from the back through the middle. Our strengths????? No togetherness in sorting that out on the pitch. How do we want to play, what do we think our strengths are- these are things that should occupy our thoughts no matter who the personnel on the park are.
Second half it has to be said our attacking players were well shackled.
A few in the pub. Home in the rain. Decided lack of enthusiasm being shown for Blunham game next week- lots of injuries and non availability. It's at home!
Toodle pip
Monday 8 November 2010
Old Minchendenians 2 Knobs 2
A good game. A fair result? Well I'm biassed I thought we should have won- comfortably. The lads weren't too happy with their linesman and not only for the goal he managed to get disallowed in the first half, rifled in by John Twigg from a Chris C pass. Chris allegedly handled!
In fairness they finished the stronger and perhaps our profligacy in finishing might show we were a tad lucky in the end.
Darren A had a fine game in midfield in the Bully supporting position and the back four were solid throughout the first half.
0-0 at half time and the innovation of oranges. Brendan of the fucked knee replaced Twiggy. Gouty Gavin went up front and on we went. A lovely little passage of play of John to Chris who cutely turned it round the corner for Gavin to finish decisively. 1-0. They equalised from an uncontested move from the right.
Paul was galloping freely when he was shot from behind and Twiggy immediately replaced him. It was a ping in the calf followed by tears and retching. The first aid kit, introduced this morning went unused, God knows what all those little packages are for, a heroin stash probably. Alistair diagnosed a mere strain, no sympathy from these medics.
They shortly afterwards took the lead when people stopped for a throw, not given, and the big lad outpaced Chris, who was stuck in the mud, to slip home.
Straight from the kick off Bully lofted left to Gavin who hurtling forwards shot accurately from 25 yards. 2-2.
We missed a few. Names of culprits? Am nae si cruel.
Gavin I thought was assaulted and battered to the ground for a penalty which was not given. I would have given it, of course I would.
Nevertheless well done the young ref, gets a wee bit too much intimidation I believe, but he stayed the course.
I remained on the line, flagless, but was rewarded with a win on the dominoe card, second week running.
Oh aye and Newcastle hammered Arsenal 1-0 at the Emirates.
In fairness they finished the stronger and perhaps our profligacy in finishing might show we were a tad lucky in the end.
Darren A had a fine game in midfield in the Bully supporting position and the back four were solid throughout the first half.
0-0 at half time and the innovation of oranges. Brendan of the fucked knee replaced Twiggy. Gouty Gavin went up front and on we went. A lovely little passage of play of John to Chris who cutely turned it round the corner for Gavin to finish decisively. 1-0. They equalised from an uncontested move from the right.
Paul was galloping freely when he was shot from behind and Twiggy immediately replaced him. It was a ping in the calf followed by tears and retching. The first aid kit, introduced this morning went unused, God knows what all those little packages are for, a heroin stash probably. Alistair diagnosed a mere strain, no sympathy from these medics.
They shortly afterwards took the lead when people stopped for a throw, not given, and the big lad outpaced Chris, who was stuck in the mud, to slip home.
Straight from the kick off Bully lofted left to Gavin who hurtling forwards shot accurately from 25 yards. 2-2.
We missed a few. Names of culprits? Am nae si cruel.
Gavin I thought was assaulted and battered to the ground for a penalty which was not given. I would have given it, of course I would.
Nevertheless well done the young ref, gets a wee bit too much intimidation I believe, but he stayed the course.
I remained on the line, flagless, but was rewarded with a win on the dominoe card, second week running.
Oh aye and Newcastle hammered Arsenal 1-0 at the Emirates.
Monday 1 November 2010
Knobs 2 Ware 2
Highly competitive, hard fought game with little aggro! An I was referee. Am staggered.
We're playing radically changed teams now on a weekly basis as the sort of vet available for selection each week becomes an endangered species- and we haven't even hit Christmas or Mothering Sunday yet!
Well done all participants yesterday, all played well some exceptionally well. Some of our football was quite pacy and imaginative, Martin was back. The happiest side would have been Ware who were dependent on guts and endeavour. With our approach play and chances we have to be a little disappointed to drop two points. Mind hey, it was a true Vets' match no need for the promise of 'his birth certificate's in the post' on this occasion.
The pitch was slick and greasy and a soft rain fell throughout the proceedings.
Totally against the run of play they took the lead from a route one move. Hoof from goalie, bouncing into our area where the wee black guy got the telling toe in and sent it wide of Mark. We equalised before half time from a nice move which led to Andy lashing in.
Second half much like the first, with us on top providing the footballing moves and them defending stoutly, notably their agile keeper. Even he could not deny puff puff Dave as he snuck in late to head a Bully corner emphatically home. You see, no "puff puff" when he's being sneaky.
Gerry was on playing instead of the injured Tony and with 15 minutes to go- or something like that, the stopwatch stopped twice , it refuses to work beyond 30 mutes 53 seconds, Chris had to go off injured and we played the last part of the game with 10. They came into it doggedly yet hardly looked dangerous until him with the towering, shiny pate guided a dropping ball up and over our defence into the top corner for two all. We might have won at the death when Andy made a scintillating run only to see his angled drive tipped past the post by their outstanding keeper.
Dave played well, he's got the makings of a good vet. Fran Cottontraders corsets two for the price of one.
Us and Ware in the Station, no other customers and no food. Whaes like us?
Whae has a pub like us? Twere like a morgue.
Next week away at OK Corral, bring your hardware.
We're playing radically changed teams now on a weekly basis as the sort of vet available for selection each week becomes an endangered species- and we haven't even hit Christmas or Mothering Sunday yet!
Well done all participants yesterday, all played well some exceptionally well. Some of our football was quite pacy and imaginative, Martin was back. The happiest side would have been Ware who were dependent on guts and endeavour. With our approach play and chances we have to be a little disappointed to drop two points. Mind hey, it was a true Vets' match no need for the promise of 'his birth certificate's in the post' on this occasion.
The pitch was slick and greasy and a soft rain fell throughout the proceedings.
Totally against the run of play they took the lead from a route one move. Hoof from goalie, bouncing into our area where the wee black guy got the telling toe in and sent it wide of Mark. We equalised before half time from a nice move which led to Andy lashing in.
Second half much like the first, with us on top providing the footballing moves and them defending stoutly, notably their agile keeper. Even he could not deny puff puff Dave as he snuck in late to head a Bully corner emphatically home. You see, no "puff puff" when he's being sneaky.
Gerry was on playing instead of the injured Tony and with 15 minutes to go- or something like that, the stopwatch stopped twice , it refuses to work beyond 30 mutes 53 seconds, Chris had to go off injured and we played the last part of the game with 10. They came into it doggedly yet hardly looked dangerous until him with the towering, shiny pate guided a dropping ball up and over our defence into the top corner for two all. We might have won at the death when Andy made a scintillating run only to see his angled drive tipped past the post by their outstanding keeper.
Dave played well, he's got the makings of a good vet. Fran Cottontraders corsets two for the price of one.
Us and Ware in the Station, no other customers and no food. Whaes like us?
Whae has a pub like us? Twere like a morgue.
Next week away at OK Corral, bring your hardware.
Monday 25 October 2010
Therfield 1 Knobs 2
A balmy morning- nay a barmy morning. I didn't want to do it, but I did.
John and I + Tommy set off to Therfield cross country- the scenic route. I pictured Therfield just beyond Walkern, but approaching it realised I was picturing Weston. Oh well Therfield is somewhere around here, over to the left somewhere. No map, no sat-nav just instinct, helped by the solar position on this glorious morning and we proceeded. Round in a huge, magnificient circle, Clothall, Cottered, Throcking (redundant church), Buntingford, Sandon then Therfield. many phonecalls- where the fuck are you? In my head, it's great in here! Taught Tommy about the validity of the white lie- the tyre went and you and I had to change it with the magic wand. We arrived. Sorry! Alistair wondered why we didna give the kit to someone else. Well there's hindsight for you, if we knew we would take so long we would have- please drop it sorry!
I felt bad. John and I became subs anyway, the practical punishment, well at least for John, yet it wasn't his fault. John was in high spirits, he normally is, it's a great day.
The match commenced with a heavy dew on the surface which slowed ground passes appreciably. Yet we didn't cotton on. How many flicks and fanny passes went astray for the first hour. Those who are guilty know!
Minutes into the game their full back lurched forward, only to collide with an invisible blanket of dark matter which propelled him off his feet- fuck me how I laughed, had to stuff the flag doon me gullet, nae guid, a shat meslf instead. Surreal. This is gonna be some game.
No disrepect to Therfield, they can beat us IF WE LET THEM, but this was a game where if we played properly we'd slaughter them or if came down to their level of athleticism and know how we would achieve a result too close to call. The latter obtained. Players look at an opposition, start doing individual, personal things and before you can say mine's a pint of shite, find themselves struggling to do owt right. Hey a wiz just watching, that's worra saw in that's worra think. Object if you will!
Teamwork gans oot thi winda as people start ti express themselves individually.
This will probably be the worst opposition we face all season, and we won, despite local factors and whinges, 2-1. Last week against Saints, a hugely different proposition, we nearly battered them! Moral? Return game let's play together, play to our strengths and give them a lesson. Winning yesterday was a pyrrhic victory.
The game. The ref was crap, but he was a canny lad.
We hit woodwork or was that aluminium?
They never threatened in the first half, except from a couple of nicely flighted corners, we dealt with competently. How's your head Dave?
We took the lead when Dave made a run and glanced a neat header into the corner- it must have been a Bully cross ? Was it?
Second half they brought on the infant messiah. I'd already emphasised that Therfield are a village team NOT a vets team. In this context we should never bleat about age. But boys will be boys and a certain amount of niggle set in around this precocious youth. I actually liked him cos he knew I used to be a teacher- before becoming a geriatric paper boy and kept calling me Sir. As it happened our youngest vet Chris Wilson was more than his master. An altercation, which I only partly perceived, in Arsene fashion, saw John and the referee practising F-words at each other from 5 paces. Fuck off- no you fuck off- no you fucking fuck off, fucking hell geroff. John was taken off for the safety of Tommy's upbringing. A second goal came after an incredible ping pong session in their six yard box was ended by Gerry lashing home emphatically. 2-0. We were comfortably playing out the game when we gave them one. Well we gave them the ball and dared them to score one. They did.
We never felt or looked like losing but 2-1's a funny old score line Saint!
The showers were freezing. The pub was fine, the St Edmunds Ale was great, why can't the Station get that- it's Green King and we all went yem for Sunday lunch- mine were toast and marmalade- eeh the high life.
John and I + Tommy set off to Therfield cross country- the scenic route. I pictured Therfield just beyond Walkern, but approaching it realised I was picturing Weston. Oh well Therfield is somewhere around here, over to the left somewhere. No map, no sat-nav just instinct, helped by the solar position on this glorious morning and we proceeded. Round in a huge, magnificient circle, Clothall, Cottered, Throcking (redundant church), Buntingford, Sandon then Therfield. many phonecalls- where the fuck are you? In my head, it's great in here! Taught Tommy about the validity of the white lie- the tyre went and you and I had to change it with the magic wand. We arrived. Sorry! Alistair wondered why we didna give the kit to someone else. Well there's hindsight for you, if we knew we would take so long we would have- please drop it sorry!
I felt bad. John and I became subs anyway, the practical punishment, well at least for John, yet it wasn't his fault. John was in high spirits, he normally is, it's a great day.
The match commenced with a heavy dew on the surface which slowed ground passes appreciably. Yet we didn't cotton on. How many flicks and fanny passes went astray for the first hour. Those who are guilty know!
Minutes into the game their full back lurched forward, only to collide with an invisible blanket of dark matter which propelled him off his feet- fuck me how I laughed, had to stuff the flag doon me gullet, nae guid, a shat meslf instead. Surreal. This is gonna be some game.
No disrepect to Therfield, they can beat us IF WE LET THEM, but this was a game where if we played properly we'd slaughter them or if came down to their level of athleticism and know how we would achieve a result too close to call. The latter obtained. Players look at an opposition, start doing individual, personal things and before you can say mine's a pint of shite, find themselves struggling to do owt right. Hey a wiz just watching, that's worra saw in that's worra think. Object if you will!
Teamwork gans oot thi winda as people start ti express themselves individually.
This will probably be the worst opposition we face all season, and we won, despite local factors and whinges, 2-1. Last week against Saints, a hugely different proposition, we nearly battered them! Moral? Return game let's play together, play to our strengths and give them a lesson. Winning yesterday was a pyrrhic victory.
The game. The ref was crap, but he was a canny lad.
We hit woodwork or was that aluminium?
They never threatened in the first half, except from a couple of nicely flighted corners, we dealt with competently. How's your head Dave?
We took the lead when Dave made a run and glanced a neat header into the corner- it must have been a Bully cross ? Was it?
Second half they brought on the infant messiah. I'd already emphasised that Therfield are a village team NOT a vets team. In this context we should never bleat about age. But boys will be boys and a certain amount of niggle set in around this precocious youth. I actually liked him cos he knew I used to be a teacher- before becoming a geriatric paper boy and kept calling me Sir. As it happened our youngest vet Chris Wilson was more than his master. An altercation, which I only partly perceived, in Arsene fashion, saw John and the referee practising F-words at each other from 5 paces. Fuck off- no you fuck off- no you fucking fuck off, fucking hell geroff. John was taken off for the safety of Tommy's upbringing. A second goal came after an incredible ping pong session in their six yard box was ended by Gerry lashing home emphatically. 2-0. We were comfortably playing out the game when we gave them one. Well we gave them the ball and dared them to score one. They did.
We never felt or looked like losing but 2-1's a funny old score line Saint!
The showers were freezing. The pub was fine, the St Edmunds Ale was great, why can't the Station get that- it's Green King and we all went yem for Sunday lunch- mine were toast and marmalade- eeh the high life.
Monday 18 October 2010
Knobs 2 Saints 2
Wye worra result ind it shoulda been a win fer the bonny lads o Knebwarth.
Frettin aal week as ti who wiz ganna replace the maestro, gone golfin in Teneriffy a neednt ha bothered. Wid thi few available be up ti thi task o tekkin on the Saints, we hanna droppt i point aal season a wondered, speshally efter thi seasins "do" at Ye Ould Station in Friday neet.
Short of personnel a debut woz given ti Chris fron Walkern and he played up front wi Methuselah. Trevor dropped out , groined out, on Saturday, but he turned up and ran thi line bringin alang two Icelandic pals as subs, G and Runni, pronoonced Rooney. Easy one that. John, the mighty Twigg, took the goalies jersey and splendid he looked, splutter, cough, splutter. We welcomed back for an occasional game Dave's mate, Dave Fish, ironic considering we had two Icelanders on the line.
There were nae goalposts up, another chore, and them little white things for the nets are like goaldust these days. Anyway we set up and off under the firm and fair referee,
Gouty Gavin. We kicked up in first half against a fit and tasty team. Despite comments to the contrary, I and others thought we played well. Some good moves, some pleasant holding up of the ball by us and yet for all their firm, silky movements they had hardly a shot on target, we defended so well. Unfortunately a soft bobbly one was deflected past John and a second goal came through a penalty, heavily disputed by the perpetrator of the push, burger man, but by few others. We had some moments in their area, a good move leading to a past the post header by the highly motivated John and a shot that hit the bar and went over from Dave. Their 22 year old goalkeeper was very commanding in his area. I can spot em, these frauds! I went off and brought on Runni, Brendan was spotted limping and I immediately came back on. Brendan's knees are knackered , we will need to bring the gun to his next game.
Second half and after an early sterile quarter of an hour they started to wilt gannin uphill. They divvint like it up em or gannin uphill it seems.. Millsy had gone at half time to play for Ashwell in the noon and the other norseman came on. The last 15 minutes saw only one likely winner. Their second half keeper, a vet!, kept them in the game with a series of saves from point blank range. A couple of very good ones from John piledrivers. At last one went in from new
boy Chris, who persisted throughout. A penalty, screamed for by many, noone more loudly than Richard, was denied us by the very neutral Gavin (bastard).
Chris scored a second from a right wing cross, volleying in neatly. Hey and we almost won it but were denied by the keeper.
I thought, on a hottish morning, with several players not even on first name terms, with a threadbare squad- you could hardly call 11 of us and two of Trevor's mates a squad actually, I thought we did wonderfully, wonderfully, even wonderfully well. As man of last season Mr Griffiths is wont to say, "we stuuffed those wallies"- well almost.
Mind you league rules drawn up by Saints, Andy, the League's organiser, and agreed by all of us, says you cannot play a player under 30 or you forfeit the game. Their angelic keeper first half ? Three points for the Knobs?
A pleasant few pints in the Station where Dave heroically served the cause selling domino cards and we all went happily home. Everyone friends.
Great!!!!!
Frettin aal week as ti who wiz ganna replace the maestro, gone golfin in Teneriffy a neednt ha bothered. Wid thi few available be up ti thi task o tekkin on the Saints, we hanna droppt i point aal season a wondered, speshally efter thi seasins "do" at Ye Ould Station in Friday neet.
Short of personnel a debut woz given ti Chris fron Walkern and he played up front wi Methuselah. Trevor dropped out , groined out, on Saturday, but he turned up and ran thi line bringin alang two Icelandic pals as subs, G and Runni, pronoonced Rooney. Easy one that. John, the mighty Twigg, took the goalies jersey and splendid he looked, splutter, cough, splutter. We welcomed back for an occasional game Dave's mate, Dave Fish, ironic considering we had two Icelanders on the line.
There were nae goalposts up, another chore, and them little white things for the nets are like goaldust these days. Anyway we set up and off under the firm and fair referee,
Gouty Gavin. We kicked up in first half against a fit and tasty team. Despite comments to the contrary, I and others thought we played well. Some good moves, some pleasant holding up of the ball by us and yet for all their firm, silky movements they had hardly a shot on target, we defended so well. Unfortunately a soft bobbly one was deflected past John and a second goal came through a penalty, heavily disputed by the perpetrator of the push, burger man, but by few others. We had some moments in their area, a good move leading to a past the post header by the highly motivated John and a shot that hit the bar and went over from Dave. Their 22 year old goalkeeper was very commanding in his area. I can spot em, these frauds! I went off and brought on Runni, Brendan was spotted limping and I immediately came back on. Brendan's knees are knackered , we will need to bring the gun to his next game.
Second half and after an early sterile quarter of an hour they started to wilt gannin uphill. They divvint like it up em or gannin uphill it seems.. Millsy had gone at half time to play for Ashwell in the noon and the other norseman came on. The last 15 minutes saw only one likely winner. Their second half keeper, a vet!, kept them in the game with a series of saves from point blank range. A couple of very good ones from John piledrivers. At last one went in from new
boy Chris, who persisted throughout. A penalty, screamed for by many, noone more loudly than Richard, was denied us by the very neutral Gavin (bastard).
Chris scored a second from a right wing cross, volleying in neatly. Hey and we almost won it but were denied by the keeper.
I thought, on a hottish morning, with several players not even on first name terms, with a threadbare squad- you could hardly call 11 of us and two of Trevor's mates a squad actually, I thought we did wonderfully, wonderfully, even wonderfully well. As man of last season Mr Griffiths is wont to say, "we stuuffed those wallies"- well almost.
Mind you league rules drawn up by Saints, Andy, the League's organiser, and agreed by all of us, says you cannot play a player under 30 or you forfeit the game. Their angelic keeper first half ? Three points for the Knobs?
A pleasant few pints in the Station where Dave heroically served the cause selling domino cards and we all went happily home. Everyone friends.
Great!!!!!
Sunday 10 October 2010
Harpenden 3 Knobs 0
The achievement of the day seemed to be getting to the ground- albeit 10 minutes after kick off time. Whenever this happens a team starts in disarray and inevitably gets worse and loses. This time proved no different but we battled hard against a better, more inventive and fitter side so there was a slight positive. If we'd been cued in from the start, if we'd had any luck and if they'd been cursed we might have got something from this game but it wasn't to be.
The referee was a star- a starfucker but a star. He'd announced his credentials pre game by informing us that he'd sent off someone last week for calling him a twat. Old Owens goalie, I think, early in the game. So we were warned. He insisted on delaying the late kick off even further with a performance Ann Widdecombe would have been proud of and we bullied off.
True to his word he picked up every curse going and was a bit of a pain, though fairly competent if a bit of a twat!
They proved dangerous on the break with two fast, skilful forwards proving a handful for Chris and Brendan. Full backs needed to tuck in more for cover yet we got to half time, kicking uphill, only the one goal behind, a good shot, tipped onto the post by Trevor, but slotted home by their man who proved the most alert. They were quite dangerous at sniffing out, contesting and picking up the second balls as we stood back admiring some challenge or the other at the first one. Andy was played through and a rasping drive turned over by a very competent keeper. We had lots of corners, nicely delivered, but proved less than interested in really attacking them. They were fairly committed in the middle at the back. One powerful header clear before half time came after their centre half had clattered through Richard. A definite penalty, not given. They were denied one at the other end shortly afterwards and they hit the bar with the ball probably crossing the line but a combination of no Russian linesman and no goal mouth technology got us off the hook. I think I was embarrassed but only for a minute. An eventful first half.
Full of confidence during the half time chat we immediately conceded a poor second goal when play re started when twice they were hungrier for the loose ball than we were. Lots of people said it was Brendan's fault, I'm not too sure. They were really stretching us now. If we supported in attack we proved too light at the back during their speedy counterattacks, if we didn't support going forwards, what little attacking enterprise we showed was down to individual bursts. Players were outnumbered and isolated. Darren H was played in and was tackled hard and fairly by the centre half. It was an excellent tackle saving an certain goal. Richard was clattered for a penalty but the referee (Mrs Twat) consulted their linesman, a substitute, who surprisingly said the foul was outside the area. Idowu couldn't have launched himself that far man. Anyway we were 3-0 down by that time having earlier conceded a header from a corner.
Well done chaps- we'll beat them at home.
If you have not contributed a few bob towards my anti bear farming campaign- 75 miles walked last week- please take heart and do so.
Cheques to "WSPA" or donate to www.justgiving.com/Ronald-Crennell. Come on I just cannot believe you think this is not a worthy cause!
I will never surrender.
Presentation night next Friday at The Station, Knebworth with Fanny Jordan on barbecue duty.
Next Sunday another tough game v Saints. Ron was linesman for the whole game today, everyone was playing so well. He will be back.
"Flag up his arse most of the time and comforting it was" wrote this dirge.
The referee was a star- a starfucker but a star. He'd announced his credentials pre game by informing us that he'd sent off someone last week for calling him a twat. Old Owens goalie, I think, early in the game. So we were warned. He insisted on delaying the late kick off even further with a performance Ann Widdecombe would have been proud of and we bullied off.
True to his word he picked up every curse going and was a bit of a pain, though fairly competent if a bit of a twat!
They proved dangerous on the break with two fast, skilful forwards proving a handful for Chris and Brendan. Full backs needed to tuck in more for cover yet we got to half time, kicking uphill, only the one goal behind, a good shot, tipped onto the post by Trevor, but slotted home by their man who proved the most alert. They were quite dangerous at sniffing out, contesting and picking up the second balls as we stood back admiring some challenge or the other at the first one. Andy was played through and a rasping drive turned over by a very competent keeper. We had lots of corners, nicely delivered, but proved less than interested in really attacking them. They were fairly committed in the middle at the back. One powerful header clear before half time came after their centre half had clattered through Richard. A definite penalty, not given. They were denied one at the other end shortly afterwards and they hit the bar with the ball probably crossing the line but a combination of no Russian linesman and no goal mouth technology got us off the hook. I think I was embarrassed but only for a minute. An eventful first half.
Full of confidence during the half time chat we immediately conceded a poor second goal when play re started when twice they were hungrier for the loose ball than we were. Lots of people said it was Brendan's fault, I'm not too sure. They were really stretching us now. If we supported in attack we proved too light at the back during their speedy counterattacks, if we didn't support going forwards, what little attacking enterprise we showed was down to individual bursts. Players were outnumbered and isolated. Darren H was played in and was tackled hard and fairly by the centre half. It was an excellent tackle saving an certain goal. Richard was clattered for a penalty but the referee (Mrs Twat) consulted their linesman, a substitute, who surprisingly said the foul was outside the area. Idowu couldn't have launched himself that far man. Anyway we were 3-0 down by that time having earlier conceded a header from a corner.
Well done chaps- we'll beat them at home.
If you have not contributed a few bob towards my anti bear farming campaign- 75 miles walked last week- please take heart and do so.
Cheques to "WSPA" or donate to www.justgiving.com/Ronald-Crennell. Come on I just cannot believe you think this is not a worthy cause!
I will never surrender.
Presentation night next Friday at The Station, Knebworth with Fanny Jordan on barbecue duty.
Next Sunday another tough game v Saints. Ron was linesman for the whole game today, everyone was playing so well. He will be back.
"Flag up his arse most of the time and comforting it was" wrote this dirge.
Monday 27 September 2010
Goldings 0 Knobs 1 - Report by Davey Wavey
A great result against a team who still haven’t beaten us in over 6 years. Although the morning started in disarray for both teams. I got lost on route to the ground and when I got there we only had 10 players. We were waiting for Brendan to make an appearance with the shorts and socks which had been split by Alastair the previous week. They only had 6 players and were trying to get reinforcements. This was looking like it would be a friendly game rather than a league one with us taking the 3 points. There was a suggestion of playing 8 a side with me playing for them. (that was my suggestion as the opposition would be easier) We would have to play in our pants and whatever socks we were wearing as Brendan still hadn’t turned up. HOORAH!! Brendan makes his entrance at 10.45 with bedhead and looking like he’s still asleep saying some old bollocks about getting in at 2am from Slovenia. I’ve heard some excuses, but fuck me I’ve never heard one like that before. They scrape 11 together and the games on.
The pitch was in a pretty shit state with lots of ankle breaking pot holes and divots to look out for. Conditions were fair with a greasy top surface which made our first touch and theirs pretty much impossible. Never the less there was some type of football being played. Not much to note in the 1st half apart from giving the ball away a lot. Paul Crosby had a rasping shot which slammed the bar and their right midfielder who Ron should remember because he threw mud in his face a few years ago. (naughty Ron) had a shot come cross which nearly crept in. Even Steven at half time. The new interim manager made a change with Paul making way for Millsy who also turned up late, 20 minutes in to the 1st half to be precise. Lateness of such severity should be punished with a fine or having to wash the kit. (take note Ronald) 2nd half started at a better pace and with more conviction. We slowed the tempo a little and was able to get our foot on the ball and pass with confidence. Our shape was back and it wasn’t long before we carved out a few chances. Richard and Steve combined well in the middle with skill and guile (you choose which is which) Our goal came on 55 minutes aprrox with Millsy getting a through ball from Bully (I think) and slotting home a composed placed shot. From that point they came on to us with more attacking moves mainly down the right which was being cut with the combination of John T and Brendan stifling most of their play. John T made way for Paul who both put in a good effort. Trevor didn’t have a save to make as we were defending high up the pitch. Can someone enlighten me on a new football rule. I was giving the ref a bit of light hearted verbal during the game when all of a sudden he gives a free kick for too much talking! Only a decision Graham Poll and Stuart Atwell would have made. A sterling effort by all and a result that should put us at top of the league. I assume some people went to the pub. I didn’t as I had to get me skates on to get home. I forgot to slam in the lamb (ooh Erh!) Home to Birchanger next week then 2 important league games to follow. Hopefully we should have more players next week and that doesn’t mean Trevor’s bringing his Icelandic illegals. See you on the Blog. If you dare.
Debbie7 (Minister for recruitment and youthful language. Oh, and kit washer, ball holder, motivational guru and interim manager) What a C.V
The pitch was in a pretty shit state with lots of ankle breaking pot holes and divots to look out for. Conditions were fair with a greasy top surface which made our first touch and theirs pretty much impossible. Never the less there was some type of football being played. Not much to note in the 1st half apart from giving the ball away a lot. Paul Crosby had a rasping shot which slammed the bar and their right midfielder who Ron should remember because he threw mud in his face a few years ago. (naughty Ron) had a shot come cross which nearly crept in. Even Steven at half time. The new interim manager made a change with Paul making way for Millsy who also turned up late, 20 minutes in to the 1st half to be precise. Lateness of such severity should be punished with a fine or having to wash the kit. (take note Ronald) 2nd half started at a better pace and with more conviction. We slowed the tempo a little and was able to get our foot on the ball and pass with confidence. Our shape was back and it wasn’t long before we carved out a few chances. Richard and Steve combined well in the middle with skill and guile (you choose which is which) Our goal came on 55 minutes aprrox with Millsy getting a through ball from Bully (I think) and slotting home a composed placed shot. From that point they came on to us with more attacking moves mainly down the right which was being cut with the combination of John T and Brendan stifling most of their play. John T made way for Paul who both put in a good effort. Trevor didn’t have a save to make as we were defending high up the pitch. Can someone enlighten me on a new football rule. I was giving the ref a bit of light hearted verbal during the game when all of a sudden he gives a free kick for too much talking! Only a decision Graham Poll and Stuart Atwell would have made. A sterling effort by all and a result that should put us at top of the league. I assume some people went to the pub. I didn’t as I had to get me skates on to get home. I forgot to slam in the lamb (ooh Erh!) Home to Birchanger next week then 2 important league games to follow. Hopefully we should have more players next week and that doesn’t mean Trevor’s bringing his Icelandic illegals. See you on the Blog. If you dare.
Debbie7 (Minister for recruitment and youthful language. Oh, and kit washer, ball holder, motivational guru and interim manager) What a C.V
Tuesday 21 September 2010
Shephall 1 Knobs 3
Howay the lads! Easy-ish. It should never have been so close. Nice to be back - sort of......
First half only one team looked like winning- us. Some of our attacking of the ball from corners left a lot to be desired. Richard and Dave got there easily for unopposed headers but missed. Dave got a bit closer with a more difficult one and a delicious corner from Mark saw noone remotely near the far post, us or opposition. I thought they looked exceptionally poor, though honest and fair. It only would take a few percent increase in workrate by us and a cricket score would ensue. We took the lead, a comfortable shot from Andy ushered into the net by their hapless keeper. Oh this is easy, yet it was not to be. We weren't eager enough to collect the second ball, thinking it would be easy and lo and behold they had a couple of chances. Back four looked strong nevertheless until half time. Second half we seemed to start even better but after ten minutes they equalised. Ball bobbling round the area arrived to the edge where their bloke swung a leg and sent an unstoppable shot into the net via the cross bar. Fuck me 1-1. They then galvanised their youthful energies and a bit of a contest ensued until Andy scored his second and missed a few one on ones before Steve put the game to bed with a lovely free kick over the wall and everyone else to make it 3-1. Not great but it's always nice to win. The pub was fine, most showed, but summat was missing or was it just me? Next week John Boyle takes charge as I am on my ban bear farming walk. The week after am back- I'll referee! Highlight of the game? Darren's "you and you and you move" as he was ushered into touch. Andy and were two of the "yous" who was the other?
Man of the match- Chris Wilson good ooooold Chris.
Love you all- well almost all!
Ron
First half only one team looked like winning- us. Some of our attacking of the ball from corners left a lot to be desired. Richard and Dave got there easily for unopposed headers but missed. Dave got a bit closer with a more difficult one and a delicious corner from Mark saw noone remotely near the far post, us or opposition. I thought they looked exceptionally poor, though honest and fair. It only would take a few percent increase in workrate by us and a cricket score would ensue. We took the lead, a comfortable shot from Andy ushered into the net by their hapless keeper. Oh this is easy, yet it was not to be. We weren't eager enough to collect the second ball, thinking it would be easy and lo and behold they had a couple of chances. Back four looked strong nevertheless until half time. Second half we seemed to start even better but after ten minutes they equalised. Ball bobbling round the area arrived to the edge where their bloke swung a leg and sent an unstoppable shot into the net via the cross bar. Fuck me 1-1. They then galvanised their youthful energies and a bit of a contest ensued until Andy scored his second and missed a few one on ones before Steve put the game to bed with a lovely free kick over the wall and everyone else to make it 3-1. Not great but it's always nice to win. The pub was fine, most showed, but summat was missing or was it just me? Next week John Boyle takes charge as I am on my ban bear farming walk. The week after am back- I'll referee! Highlight of the game? Darren's "you and you and you move" as he was ushered into touch. Andy and were two of the "yous" who was the other?
Man of the match- Chris Wilson good ooooold Chris.
Love you all- well almost all!
Ron
Wednesday 15 September 2010
Knobs 2 Old Owens 1 – Tales from the dressing room
A lovely warm sunny morning and I was looking forward to my league debut for the Knobs and it was great to get the nod from the manager to start the game. I heard that Old Owens usually struggle to get a team together but for this game they had 4 subs.
It was a fairly evenly matched first half though on the break we were always dangerous especially with the pace of Gavin who setup Richard for the first goal of the game. They equalised soon after when a shot was parried by Trevor and their striker was first to react to slot home.
After the first half I was a little disappointed to be told that I was going to be taken off and so I followed the manager to the dressing room to have my say. Things were working up inside me so I thought it best to go to the toilet first in case things got messy. I finished my business and opened the toilet door to get down to the serious business only to find that the manager was gone, the lights were off and the changing room door was locked.
The second half seemed to go on forever, I turned the lights on and thought about having a shower only to realise that my kit bag was pitch side. A rummage hear and a rummage there produced nothing decent apart from a large black dildo in Debbie’s bag. I put the bin on my head, dildo up my arse and went for a ride on Brendan’s bike. Finished the half with a quick five knuckle into the manager’s sock.
Then finally after what seemed like an eternity I heard a key turn in the lock and the changing room door opened. I shuffled past the manager to get my bag without saying a word. Complete arse or very clever I don’t know but I've learnt a valuable lesson!
I heard later that Chris Wilson got the winner and we won 2-1 so 3 points in the bag.
T
It was a fairly evenly matched first half though on the break we were always dangerous especially with the pace of Gavin who setup Richard for the first goal of the game. They equalised soon after when a shot was parried by Trevor and their striker was first to react to slot home.
After the first half I was a little disappointed to be told that I was going to be taken off and so I followed the manager to the dressing room to have my say. Things were working up inside me so I thought it best to go to the toilet first in case things got messy. I finished my business and opened the toilet door to get down to the serious business only to find that the manager was gone, the lights were off and the changing room door was locked.
The second half seemed to go on forever, I turned the lights on and thought about having a shower only to realise that my kit bag was pitch side. A rummage hear and a rummage there produced nothing decent apart from a large black dildo in Debbie’s bag. I put the bin on my head, dildo up my arse and went for a ride on Brendan’s bike. Finished the half with a quick five knuckle into the manager’s sock.
Then finally after what seemed like an eternity I heard a key turn in the lock and the changing room door opened. I shuffled past the manager to get my bag without saying a word. Complete arse or very clever I don’t know but I've learnt a valuable lesson!
I heard later that Chris Wilson got the winner and we won 2-1 so 3 points in the bag.
T
Thursday 9 September 2010
Knobs 1 Garston 4 - Report by Davey Wavey
A beautiful Sunday morning in early September .The pitch was freshly cut and rolled and has not looked this good for a long while.
After informing everyone that it would be a good idea for us all to park cars at the surgery or in surrounding villages to eliminate any pressure at the Rec. Alistair turns up at 09.45 prompt in his BMW to open the gates and have first dibs at what parking space he desires. As chairman Al was in charge he done his best to over see everyone else erecting the nets and this was before anyone entered the changing rooms.The game started at a pace and both teams were trying their level best to score the first goal. Them more so than us. We were effectively playing 5 at the back with Debbie (left mid) sitting in front of John Twigg as they were using that part of the pitch the most. We were strong and resolute for the majority of the first half until 35 minutes in, they made a break down the right and punished us with a cross which ended up in the net. Can anyone confirm this as i was picking myself up after getting a dead leg prior to the break. Alistair was using the roll on roll off system so i hobbled off and Gerry rolled on. 1 nil at half time which was a great position to be in. If only we all went home then. A constructive team talk from Martin saw us start the half on the attack with bully playing a long bull from the kick off to Gavin who ran him self in to their box and clip the bar with a strong shot. He was then taken off for Matty to come on. They got their 2nd goal with in the first ten minutes then came our moment of glory. A Bully free kick just outside the box on the right was pushed through to the near post where Debbie found himself after breaking their defensive line. One touch control and shot to the far corner where Andy (poacher) Castle was waiting to tap it in. It was a deserved goal for the effort put in by us all. After the kick off they went back to their passing game and it wasn't long before they had their 3rd after a well crafted, one touch approach play out side our box. With in 5 passes the ball was slid across the line. Most of us were watching as they made this game of football look easy. Their 4th was dispatched with shouts of "off side", but the linesman's flag wasn't forthcoming. Even if you think it's off side you should still play to the whistle or flag in this case. In summery we didn't disgrace ourselves against a quality side and i can't see why we won't be challenging in the league this season.The newbies in the team Darren,Gerry and Martin (sorry Martin) played well. Trevor was on form as usual stopping a few one on ones and Chris G was my man of the match. Gavin put a late boot in to the ankle of their Ray Parlour look a like who had an outstanding game (Ray not Gavin) I think Ray wanted to see Gavin after the game. I think the words were "I'm going to fucking get you later" did anyone see Gavin at the pub??
If anyone has comments on how i wrote the blog feel free to express yourselves and i'll feel free to tell you to fuck off!
Here's mud in your eye.
Dave J
After informing everyone that it would be a good idea for us all to park cars at the surgery or in surrounding villages to eliminate any pressure at the Rec. Alistair turns up at 09.45 prompt in his BMW to open the gates and have first dibs at what parking space he desires. As chairman Al was in charge he done his best to over see everyone else erecting the nets and this was before anyone entered the changing rooms.The game started at a pace and both teams were trying their level best to score the first goal. Them more so than us. We were effectively playing 5 at the back with Debbie (left mid) sitting in front of John Twigg as they were using that part of the pitch the most. We were strong and resolute for the majority of the first half until 35 minutes in, they made a break down the right and punished us with a cross which ended up in the net. Can anyone confirm this as i was picking myself up after getting a dead leg prior to the break. Alistair was using the roll on roll off system so i hobbled off and Gerry rolled on. 1 nil at half time which was a great position to be in. If only we all went home then. A constructive team talk from Martin saw us start the half on the attack with bully playing a long bull from the kick off to Gavin who ran him self in to their box and clip the bar with a strong shot. He was then taken off for Matty to come on. They got their 2nd goal with in the first ten minutes then came our moment of glory. A Bully free kick just outside the box on the right was pushed through to the near post where Debbie found himself after breaking their defensive line. One touch control and shot to the far corner where Andy (poacher) Castle was waiting to tap it in. It was a deserved goal for the effort put in by us all. After the kick off they went back to their passing game and it wasn't long before they had their 3rd after a well crafted, one touch approach play out side our box. With in 5 passes the ball was slid across the line. Most of us were watching as they made this game of football look easy. Their 4th was dispatched with shouts of "off side", but the linesman's flag wasn't forthcoming. Even if you think it's off side you should still play to the whistle or flag in this case. In summery we didn't disgrace ourselves against a quality side and i can't see why we won't be challenging in the league this season.The newbies in the team Darren,Gerry and Martin (sorry Martin) played well. Trevor was on form as usual stopping a few one on ones and Chris G was my man of the match. Gavin put a late boot in to the ankle of their Ray Parlour look a like who had an outstanding game (Ray not Gavin) I think Ray wanted to see Gavin after the game. I think the words were "I'm going to fucking get you later" did anyone see Gavin at the pub??
If anyone has comments on how i wrote the blog feel free to express yourselves and i'll feel free to tell you to fuck off!
Here's mud in your eye.
Dave J
Tuesday 4 May 2010
Monday 26 April 2010
Litlington 0 Knobs 1
Superb, same place, Steve penalty divided the sides, but hey this should have been a 14-1 result for us. Why not? I know the answer but will not divulge. Needlees to say the mantra is " enjoy the game"- oh yes I'd forgotten that. Get beat 9-0 but as long as you enjoy the game. As long as you do something you can think back on in the following week and say- I did my individual thing, I shot, I fouled , I told my mates to 'fuck off', I laughed at the futility of existence then it's OK all is forgiven and wonderful. Probably right in this worrying age. Bon chance to you all.
I think I enjoyed the game overall. Cogito ergo sum.
Negative team talk at half time? Hey lads, Av given up being Mr Marvellous on a football field. But several of you haven't. 0-0 at half time was simply disgraceful, I'm sure you will all agree.?
They, man for man, were nothing compared to us, yet it was 0-0. Why? Luck- yes, their goalie got lucky and saved a few genuinely, fair enough, but really it was due to a lack of playing to our strengths that was the downfall. FUCKING HELL we could have passed them into oblivion on that pitch! But we don't and we didn't. But hey if you enjoy that way of playing cos it fulfils some atavistic desire we did well. Personally I was making the point that we should, please, play together. It's a team game, with some players now individually better than others for whatever reasons. I made the point that when I had the ball near me in the first half I passed accurately to a team mate . I mentioned this in the hope that, yes I'm ancient but please in certain contexts give me a pass and I'll endeavour not to give it away. It was not supposed to be a negative 'team talk' in deed if I was to really manage a team I'd be brutally frank, insist on certain patterns of play and if someone was not joining the arrangement, yank them off. (Difficult when there are only 11 on a particular day). But our team and vets football is subtly different or perhaps not that subtly. As long as you enjoy being on the pitch 0-9 or 9-0 that is the crux it seems. Afterwards have a shower and a few pints.... and I love you Fred or Harry and how's life in the jungle last week?
But, if competing and hopefully winning is the be all and end all then a wholly different aproach and attitude is required. We should have slaughtered them but something went wrong and in the end we beat them by a debatable penalty. Look into your inner recesses old men and wonder why.
It's a team game football, illuminated by the occasional person who rises astronomically above others, but only occasionally. You have to trust the ability and honesty of the players you are playing with. Yesterday we didn't and haven't on other occasions. Hence the result.
I am being too harsh , I know. Oh well, I have enjoyed being involved in my dotage in games of this glorious format, fuck golf, but the magic of togetherness on a football field , maximising the team's strengths and minimising their weaknesses and realising true enjoyment is a difficult enterprise and perhaps beyond any mortal, including Sir Alex and the special one.
Next week we play the league champions, probably, and on players available to us this season I know we are better than them so make yourself available, they'll be looking to defeat us in order to put the icing on their cake.
What a save from Twiggy, now clean sheeting in all games he has donned the green this season. Mind you the super glue on the gloves might have helped.
KNEBWORTH VETS has been going for over 20 years now with personnel who are still playing, Brendan and Bill, those who have left the country, Jack, Karlis and Steve and who have retired into oblivion, Kenny, Kevin, Peter, Peter, Jerry, Chris, Alan Watts, Neil, Big Bob, Mark, Big John, Dave S, Peter T, Stuart, Paul, Peter G, Nigel, Kevin, Mike S and loads of others and the Knobs will go on, doubt ye not. Enjoy, but enjoy realising it's a team game- play to strengths and try to minimise weaknesses. Remember your mates their position, their present abilities, their personalities and whether they'll buy you a pint in times of economic stress. (Vote Labour by the way).
Love you all
Unknown Crennell
I think I enjoyed the game overall. Cogito ergo sum.
Negative team talk at half time? Hey lads, Av given up being Mr Marvellous on a football field. But several of you haven't. 0-0 at half time was simply disgraceful, I'm sure you will all agree.?
They, man for man, were nothing compared to us, yet it was 0-0. Why? Luck- yes, their goalie got lucky and saved a few genuinely, fair enough, but really it was due to a lack of playing to our strengths that was the downfall. FUCKING HELL we could have passed them into oblivion on that pitch! But we don't and we didn't. But hey if you enjoy that way of playing cos it fulfils some atavistic desire we did well. Personally I was making the point that we should, please, play together. It's a team game, with some players now individually better than others for whatever reasons. I made the point that when I had the ball near me in the first half I passed accurately to a team mate . I mentioned this in the hope that, yes I'm ancient but please in certain contexts give me a pass and I'll endeavour not to give it away. It was not supposed to be a negative 'team talk' in deed if I was to really manage a team I'd be brutally frank, insist on certain patterns of play and if someone was not joining the arrangement, yank them off. (Difficult when there are only 11 on a particular day). But our team and vets football is subtly different or perhaps not that subtly. As long as you enjoy being on the pitch 0-9 or 9-0 that is the crux it seems. Afterwards have a shower and a few pints.... and I love you Fred or Harry and how's life in the jungle last week?
But, if competing and hopefully winning is the be all and end all then a wholly different aproach and attitude is required. We should have slaughtered them but something went wrong and in the end we beat them by a debatable penalty. Look into your inner recesses old men and wonder why.
It's a team game football, illuminated by the occasional person who rises astronomically above others, but only occasionally. You have to trust the ability and honesty of the players you are playing with. Yesterday we didn't and haven't on other occasions. Hence the result.
I am being too harsh , I know. Oh well, I have enjoyed being involved in my dotage in games of this glorious format, fuck golf, but the magic of togetherness on a football field , maximising the team's strengths and minimising their weaknesses and realising true enjoyment is a difficult enterprise and perhaps beyond any mortal, including Sir Alex and the special one.
Next week we play the league champions, probably, and on players available to us this season I know we are better than them so make yourself available, they'll be looking to defeat us in order to put the icing on their cake.
What a save from Twiggy, now clean sheeting in all games he has donned the green this season. Mind you the super glue on the gloves might have helped.
KNEBWORTH VETS has been going for over 20 years now with personnel who are still playing, Brendan and Bill, those who have left the country, Jack, Karlis and Steve and who have retired into oblivion, Kenny, Kevin, Peter, Peter, Jerry, Chris, Alan Watts, Neil, Big Bob, Mark, Big John, Dave S, Peter T, Stuart, Paul, Peter G, Nigel, Kevin, Mike S and loads of others and the Knobs will go on, doubt ye not. Enjoy, but enjoy realising it's a team game- play to strengths and try to minimise weaknesses. Remember your mates their position, their present abilities, their personalities and whether they'll buy you a pint in times of economic stress. (Vote Labour by the way).
Love you all
Unknown Crennell
Monday 19 April 2010
Walkern 2 knobs 2
Air flights interfere with a Vets football game- Mike and Phil affected.
I return from me paper rounds to find we are down to 8!!!! Oh bugger! An hour on the phone got us up to 9. Arrival at the school,Thomas Alleyne , saw us in great heart, Gavin was going to slipploacte them. So good so far. They gave us two, which made a contest but took the edge off the game! Especially since Pat was terrific , aged 61, and probably, solid man of the match. Also they gave us the wonderful Butch who played so cannily at the back it made me think that we have a lovely formation for future games. Sign him on. Chris G would love to play with Butch every week.
First half they never threatened- with their playing from the back, slow and ponderous. being negated by our youthful exuberance, intercepting and foraging by such as Gavin and new boy Andy.We didn't, unfortunately, punch our weight. A nice finish from Gavin, amidst several other misses by us, was equalised by a mistake ( mine I believe), 1-1 half time.
Second half we went ahead from a neat move finished by Andy, eat your heart out Mike Lisle, and me. An occasional sporadic move forward saw them equalise from a distance shot- me back was fucked from the off, but subsequent pressure saw me stop goal attempts in apathetic geriatric ways- Am, finished you fuckers- someone else take turn in goal next time.
Dave was involved in boh forward movements tghat led to our goals- let it be recorded.
A sunny drink in the Dun Cow garden followed. Twiggy turned up with his cold, having deigned to play, and everything was honky tonky- I think.
Dave was instrumental in the start of both moves that led to our goals by the way. Also John Boyle hit the post with a rocket.
We simply aren't scoring enough at this level.
I return from me paper rounds to find we are down to 8!!!! Oh bugger! An hour on the phone got us up to 9. Arrival at the school,Thomas Alleyne , saw us in great heart, Gavin was going to slipploacte them. So good so far. They gave us two, which made a contest but took the edge off the game! Especially since Pat was terrific , aged 61, and probably, solid man of the match. Also they gave us the wonderful Butch who played so cannily at the back it made me think that we have a lovely formation for future games. Sign him on. Chris G would love to play with Butch every week.
First half they never threatened- with their playing from the back, slow and ponderous. being negated by our youthful exuberance, intercepting and foraging by such as Gavin and new boy Andy.We didn't, unfortunately, punch our weight. A nice finish from Gavin, amidst several other misses by us, was equalised by a mistake ( mine I believe), 1-1 half time.
Second half we went ahead from a neat move finished by Andy, eat your heart out Mike Lisle, and me. An occasional sporadic move forward saw them equalise from a distance shot- me back was fucked from the off, but subsequent pressure saw me stop goal attempts in apathetic geriatric ways- Am, finished you fuckers- someone else take turn in goal next time.
Dave was involved in boh forward movements tghat led to our goals- let it be recorded.
A sunny drink in the Dun Cow garden followed. Twiggy turned up with his cold, having deigned to play, and everything was honky tonky- I think.
Dave was instrumental in the start of both moves that led to our goals by the way. Also John Boyle hit the post with a rocket.
We simply aren't scoring enough at this level.
Thursday 15 April 2010
Knobs 0 Standon 1
Computer back up and running- thanks John.
We're hardly scoring goals this year but not conceding many either, however recent results ultimately show we're not fighting our true weight.
Down a goal after 30 seconds, a Dave push, which only he didn't see, and a freekick into the corner past the valiant Paul. What's a goal when there's so much time to go? They played efficiently at times but thereafter hardly threatened our goal, especially second half. Oh they did crash the cross bar in the first half. Fair do's.
Gavin could have scored 7 and should have scored at least 1 but then who else would have had the verve and energy to get into those positions? Look out someone one of these games this boy will be on fire. Perhaps it will be Walkern this Sunday, but not if he is sweeper the old timers' position.
We tired second half.
Hey what about that block by yours headless, in the wall, at a freekick. Saved a certain goal. So I'm only fit to stand in a wall now and be battered by missiles. Head ached all day, still there were some affable sniggers.
A subdued pub gathering, by us, we all trudged homeward early leaving the opposition drinking merrily.
We're hardly scoring goals this year but not conceding many either, however recent results ultimately show we're not fighting our true weight.
Down a goal after 30 seconds, a Dave push, which only he didn't see, and a freekick into the corner past the valiant Paul. What's a goal when there's so much time to go? They played efficiently at times but thereafter hardly threatened our goal, especially second half. Oh they did crash the cross bar in the first half. Fair do's.
Gavin could have scored 7 and should have scored at least 1 but then who else would have had the verve and energy to get into those positions? Look out someone one of these games this boy will be on fire. Perhaps it will be Walkern this Sunday, but not if he is sweeper the old timers' position.
We tired second half.
Hey what about that block by yours headless, in the wall, at a freekick. Saved a certain goal. So I'm only fit to stand in a wall now and be battered by missiles. Head ached all day, still there were some affable sniggers.
A subdued pub gathering, by us, we all trudged homeward early leaving the opposition drinking merrily.
Monday 29 March 2010
Knobs 2 Old Pretenders 2
As it happens an evenly matched game, which shouldn't have been , but with us actually hanging on at the end! A draw which felt like a defeat, is that because we all think we're better than we are? Almost probably. almost certainly on the day.
They started and finished with ten and though there were murmurings about certain of their 'young' lads afterwards, John, their central midfielder is 61. looks almost as young as me. Cough, splutter!
In the first minute Matty was slickly put through only to be foiled by a good save by their erstwhile midfielder, now competent keeper. From an accurate ensuing corner Mike glanced a header wide. My 10-0 prediction was on course as I stood nearby fiddling with my flag. Some neat moves followed from us without them even threatening to cross the half way line never mind disturbing Phil's rest in goals. Another corner saw our first goal from the trusty Twigg head.
It must be said at this stage that whoever chose this particular beachball to play with wants their veterans' credentials thrust to the place where the sun never shines. Turned out it was Mary's ball! A far cry from sodden leather, laces and the cock sticking out threatening brain cells right, left and centre.
Second goal arrived, after a cross from the right was sent swirling into the far corner from the head of Mike- Mary's Dad- well practised with that ball!
An inebriated Dave was switched a minute before half time with Ron- the ensuing shite means I'll probably never play again. I don't care now I've done my stint, had my fill. (Untrue actually). What I need is a team like Old Pretenders who are never complete, always short and pleased to have the bare 11 on the field. That's probably not just my problem as time flows by.
An untroubled half hour into the second half, with not a few of our shots, well engineered, but flying perilously close to Bill's windows in Oakfield Avenue, saw the heroic Roy limp off to be replaced by Dave- 45 last week- but not before he had fairly hung, drawn and quartered their young centre forward. Thereafter we conceded two very poor goals - none more so than their first. Terrible, ageing reactions to covering that could easily have been achieved. Nowt to do with age actually, all to do with thinking and hoping someone else will cover this problem- the someone else usually being the hard working Chris Griffiths.
Their equaliser came from a break from our profligacy in attack. Too much casualness. Eventually in our area some kind of bobbly knock carried the ball over the line at 1mph. Goalkeeper could not be faulted however, so what happened there lads?
We thought we were good enough- we weren't. We thought we'd win easily, we should have but didn't. We think we're good but we're not if we don't play to our strengths and minimise our weaknesses. We should have got the ball on the deck far more and passed it. We are good at that, but first time passes and flicks are a risk at any level and we are not at any level. Even if we concede a bit of momentum or risk getting caught in possession we should endeavour to get the ball down first and then maximise our chances of playing it accurately and, vitally, keeping possession. After all the lot squabbling for possession are vets also and are no more the sprightliest!
Thanks to Alistair for reffing. No conteroversies but hey you don't expect any against Old P's.
A good turn out at the Station where they seemed to think we could operate quite nicely on platefuls of crisps better employed to make bio fuel.
Ron hardly made a mistake!
They started and finished with ten and though there were murmurings about certain of their 'young' lads afterwards, John, their central midfielder is 61. looks almost as young as me. Cough, splutter!
In the first minute Matty was slickly put through only to be foiled by a good save by their erstwhile midfielder, now competent keeper. From an accurate ensuing corner Mike glanced a header wide. My 10-0 prediction was on course as I stood nearby fiddling with my flag. Some neat moves followed from us without them even threatening to cross the half way line never mind disturbing Phil's rest in goals. Another corner saw our first goal from the trusty Twigg head.
It must be said at this stage that whoever chose this particular beachball to play with wants their veterans' credentials thrust to the place where the sun never shines. Turned out it was Mary's ball! A far cry from sodden leather, laces and the cock sticking out threatening brain cells right, left and centre.
Second goal arrived, after a cross from the right was sent swirling into the far corner from the head of Mike- Mary's Dad- well practised with that ball!
An inebriated Dave was switched a minute before half time with Ron- the ensuing shite means I'll probably never play again. I don't care now I've done my stint, had my fill. (Untrue actually). What I need is a team like Old Pretenders who are never complete, always short and pleased to have the bare 11 on the field. That's probably not just my problem as time flows by.
An untroubled half hour into the second half, with not a few of our shots, well engineered, but flying perilously close to Bill's windows in Oakfield Avenue, saw the heroic Roy limp off to be replaced by Dave- 45 last week- but not before he had fairly hung, drawn and quartered their young centre forward. Thereafter we conceded two very poor goals - none more so than their first. Terrible, ageing reactions to covering that could easily have been achieved. Nowt to do with age actually, all to do with thinking and hoping someone else will cover this problem- the someone else usually being the hard working Chris Griffiths.
Their equaliser came from a break from our profligacy in attack. Too much casualness. Eventually in our area some kind of bobbly knock carried the ball over the line at 1mph. Goalkeeper could not be faulted however, so what happened there lads?
We thought we were good enough- we weren't. We thought we'd win easily, we should have but didn't. We think we're good but we're not if we don't play to our strengths and minimise our weaknesses. We should have got the ball on the deck far more and passed it. We are good at that, but first time passes and flicks are a risk at any level and we are not at any level. Even if we concede a bit of momentum or risk getting caught in possession we should endeavour to get the ball down first and then maximise our chances of playing it accurately and, vitally, keeping possession. After all the lot squabbling for possession are vets also and are no more the sprightliest!
Thanks to Alistair for reffing. No conteroversies but hey you don't expect any against Old P's.
A good turn out at the Station where they seemed to think we could operate quite nicely on platefuls of crisps better employed to make bio fuel.
Ron hardly made a mistake!
Sunday 21 March 2010
Knobs 1 Goldings 0
At last a win and a delightful spring morning in addition- the equinox. A match teeming with bonhomie. Phil reluctantly in goal, untroubled, Ron linesman, non troublesome and John Twigg reffing, saturated in compliments and bon mots throughout. "Thank you referee you are certainly no cheating cunt" and "oh swipe me down with a brolly referee I nearly demurred at your decision til I realised you were oh so right- I'll buy you a sherbet in Ye Jolly Olde Station afterwards."
We started well some nice incisive moves with no finish before becoming bogged down in the heat. I thought we were becoming complacent and feeling it to be a matter of time before we scored a few and won. Alistair assures me it was the heatwave. After all we bystanders have never experienced such stamina sapping condtions before so shurrup Ron. Gavin came on for a drained Darren and immediately slalomed through before setting up a glorious chance, which was missed by one of the M and M's. It was conceivably a poor cross of course! They, Goldings' youngest ever side, rarely threatened and Phil hardly had to make a save worthy of the name. Huffing and puffing continued into the second half until an incisive move started by a class Steve pass went from Gavin to Matt who then unselfishly squared to John B who netted, comfortably or was it other than that? Dave had a terrific game defensively and in attacking support, Roy's final contribution a death defying tackle showed us what we have missed and Chris G had another steady perceptive game. Hopefully all enjoyed the outing, but don't know why St John gave me my whistle back at the end, he'll be number one blower in the future.
A moderate pub turn out and sandwiches late in arrival were neverthelees devoured. Pity the opposition had all departed by then. Next week it's Old Pretenders at home and then a break for Easter Sunday unless anyone fancies the Dads and Coaches?
We started well some nice incisive moves with no finish before becoming bogged down in the heat. I thought we were becoming complacent and feeling it to be a matter of time before we scored a few and won. Alistair assures me it was the heatwave. After all we bystanders have never experienced such stamina sapping condtions before so shurrup Ron. Gavin came on for a drained Darren and immediately slalomed through before setting up a glorious chance, which was missed by one of the M and M's. It was conceivably a poor cross of course! They, Goldings' youngest ever side, rarely threatened and Phil hardly had to make a save worthy of the name. Huffing and puffing continued into the second half until an incisive move started by a class Steve pass went from Gavin to Matt who then unselfishly squared to John B who netted, comfortably or was it other than that? Dave had a terrific game defensively and in attacking support, Roy's final contribution a death defying tackle showed us what we have missed and Chris G had another steady perceptive game. Hopefully all enjoyed the outing, but don't know why St John gave me my whistle back at the end, he'll be number one blower in the future.
A moderate pub turn out and sandwiches late in arrival were neverthelees devoured. Pity the opposition had all departed by then. Next week it's Old Pretenders at home and then a break for Easter Sunday unless anyone fancies the Dads and Coaches?
Wednesday 10 March 2010
Knobs 1 Sandy 2
E- mail from Andy in the league- what went wrong, in that according to the Sandy sneak it was a game teeming with bonhomie, good nature and played in the right spirit!
Right spirit for who?
I apologise to Richard and John for their needing to hold onto me. Never again.
What happened? Well after constant verbals for 80 odd minutes and having left the field I suppose I took offence to their 'player'-manager calling me a cheat on behalf of my team, repeatedly. So I thought I'd push him and see if his balls were anywhere near his mealy mouthed gob. A duel in the sun to defend my integrity. Oh foolish boy! Don't think he was up for it, pity or perhaps not.
They scored 2 we scored 1, a penalty by Steve. We missed a few and their goalie was up for it also. I thought Knobs were better, though their boy Wayne, up front was a handful.
Was it a penalty? I thought so, soft but a definite penalty. Please comment re your own view of this incident. Didn't their linesmen have good games? Oh well, guess I won't be involved in the grubfest at Blunham for a while.
Anyone for referee from now on- a very rewarding pastime.
Right spirit for who?
I apologise to Richard and John for their needing to hold onto me. Never again.
What happened? Well after constant verbals for 80 odd minutes and having left the field I suppose I took offence to their 'player'-manager calling me a cheat on behalf of my team, repeatedly. So I thought I'd push him and see if his balls were anywhere near his mealy mouthed gob. A duel in the sun to defend my integrity. Oh foolish boy! Don't think he was up for it, pity or perhaps not.
They scored 2 we scored 1, a penalty by Steve. We missed a few and their goalie was up for it also. I thought Knobs were better, though their boy Wayne, up front was a handful.
Was it a penalty? I thought so, soft but a definite penalty. Please comment re your own view of this incident. Didn't their linesmen have good games? Oh well, guess I won't be involved in the grubfest at Blunham for a while.
Anyone for referee from now on- a very rewarding pastime.
Monday 22 February 2010
Wilbury 2 Knobs 2
An afternoon game on a mudheap which steadily became unplayable. A fair result after we were 2-0 up midway through the second half. Nice of Mark to turn up knackered after playing 90 minutes in the morning for Ashwell. I wonder how they got on, Mark couldn't have scored. he would have said so. Still he made a good linesman except, some would say, for overturning the ref's decision of a throw for us from which they broke away and scored!
Anyway chance for the old boy to have 90 minutes., which I enjoyed. Yooz made an ould man very happy- till I got yem it lasted! We started slowly, they hit the bar, then slowly we came to terms with the slurry and created our own chances, one of which was saved point blank range by a very competent keeper from Matt.
First Dave moment had come in the dressing room before the start. Dave recounted his car write off moment when he had shunted up someone's arse at a roundabout. Nothing new there then Dave likes to get tight from behind. (Steve had bashed his car this morning- it was the ice- I know better). Second Dave moment came when he committed an innocuous foul 9rightly given) after which their man chased after him and kicked him from behind. Considering cards had already been brandished I felt a little bit of inconsistency had crept in! The third Dave moment came just before halftime from a corner with Dave clashing heads with their man Tom. Dave emerged cut and Tom bumped. Dave went off and missed a sweet move whuich led to our opener. Ron with space on the edge of the area responded to Phil's INTELLIGENT call and squared to him. His rasping shot put us one up. Dave, the rivers of blood having been staunched- fuck off it were only a scratch- rejoined the fray for the second half.
The second half saw the crowd swell to double figures as both sides swam for their lives. Our second came from a smothered handball in the six yard box. Steve's penalty was well saved but the ball stuck on the goalline and Steve pounced to crash home from an inch. Noone was gonna get in his way for that one. They equalised from a break, thanks Mark! Actually he was right it was their throw but hey don't let him off. Their equaliser from a penalty was dubious if not to say wrong. 'Honest' Chris never touched their surging runner as he collapsed in exhaustion in the area. The referee's retort well I've given you a penalty. So it does work like that. Both sides scrapped to the end with Wilbury territorially on top. Scrapping literally. Their 'hothead' became embroiled with Steve. A tackle, a bit of afters then a flicked mudpie in the face led to a Bull's rage. After throats had been grabbed and pleasantries exchanged the referee enforced a 10 minute sinbin for both players. Steve's ultimate sin being swearing in front of children. I didn't mind, I don't know about the others. Anyway I've often warned Steve about such language! Tee hee! With 15 minutes to go Steve never got back on cos he still had 4 minutes to serve.
15-10= minus 4. Teaching these days. Well done to the young referee he has a long and far from tranquil journey ahead in his chosen hobby.
We adjourned to a quaint old fashioned boozer in Baldock called The Engine. Drink and food were plentiful. They still have large notices displayed about the possession of illegal substances, I suppose they mean tabs and brains.
Toodle pip.
Anyway chance for the old boy to have 90 minutes., which I enjoyed. Yooz made an ould man very happy- till I got yem it lasted! We started slowly, they hit the bar, then slowly we came to terms with the slurry and created our own chances, one of which was saved point blank range by a very competent keeper from Matt.
First Dave moment had come in the dressing room before the start. Dave recounted his car write off moment when he had shunted up someone's arse at a roundabout. Nothing new there then Dave likes to get tight from behind. (Steve had bashed his car this morning- it was the ice- I know better). Second Dave moment came when he committed an innocuous foul 9rightly given) after which their man chased after him and kicked him from behind. Considering cards had already been brandished I felt a little bit of inconsistency had crept in! The third Dave moment came just before halftime from a corner with Dave clashing heads with their man Tom. Dave emerged cut and Tom bumped. Dave went off and missed a sweet move whuich led to our opener. Ron with space on the edge of the area responded to Phil's INTELLIGENT call and squared to him. His rasping shot put us one up. Dave, the rivers of blood having been staunched- fuck off it were only a scratch- rejoined the fray for the second half.
The second half saw the crowd swell to double figures as both sides swam for their lives. Our second came from a smothered handball in the six yard box. Steve's penalty was well saved but the ball stuck on the goalline and Steve pounced to crash home from an inch. Noone was gonna get in his way for that one. They equalised from a break, thanks Mark! Actually he was right it was their throw but hey don't let him off. Their equaliser from a penalty was dubious if not to say wrong. 'Honest' Chris never touched their surging runner as he collapsed in exhaustion in the area. The referee's retort well I've given you a penalty. So it does work like that. Both sides scrapped to the end with Wilbury territorially on top. Scrapping literally. Their 'hothead' became embroiled with Steve. A tackle, a bit of afters then a flicked mudpie in the face led to a Bull's rage. After throats had been grabbed and pleasantries exchanged the referee enforced a 10 minute sinbin for both players. Steve's ultimate sin being swearing in front of children. I didn't mind, I don't know about the others. Anyway I've often warned Steve about such language! Tee hee! With 15 minutes to go Steve never got back on cos he still had 4 minutes to serve.
15-10= minus 4. Teaching these days. Well done to the young referee he has a long and far from tranquil journey ahead in his chosen hobby.
We adjourned to a quaint old fashioned boozer in Baldock called The Engine. Drink and food were plentiful. They still have large notices displayed about the possession of illegal substances, I suppose they mean tabs and brains.
Toodle pip.
Monday 15 February 2010
Ware 2 Knobs 1
Very, very unlucky but there goeth the league- probably.
We were there for the kick off but they drifted in well after ko time. Then there was the delay for their new kit to arrive from the factory. Their bloke reffed to some effect. He was friggin hopeless, overruling his only linesman, me, a fellow Goerdie at that and then turning down a penalty when Gavin, haring for goal, was assassinated from behind. Gavin didn't even have time to dive, hitting the ground chin first. All their players we spoke to said it was a penalty. What can you do but battle on. After 10 minutes or so I came into the game as linesman for the one and only time. The 'ref' came over and asked me how long had gone. It wasn't that his watch had stopped but that he didn't have a watch! This was a first in football for me. A delay followed until a mobile phone was borrowed!
They hit the bar with a chip and the post with the follow up. Their only chance of the first half and most of the second. We got a game together and were very solid at the back and inventive going forward. Alas, chances were frequently missed.
Second half saw a bit more possession for them but we still carved out chances but were denied by unconvincing shooting and bad luck.
Late in the game Gavin hurtled in from the right and ended a move which had commenced from the hardworking Dave. His low raking sidefoot sweetly found the net.
The influential Chris G went off with a hamstring pull .
They equalised from a woeful passage of play. A corner to far post was headed in by a totally unmarked player. Noone near him, so easy.
They got the winner when Ron got caught out in midfield caught in two minds or was that three. They strode forward to lash in a winner. Sorry chaps and I was only on for five minutes. Perhaps we should have been out of sight by then.
Grub in pub and a few pints then yem.
The chastened one
Next week away, 1pm kick off, in Letchworth against Wibury Wanderers who luckily beat us
2-1 before Christmas.
We were there for the kick off but they drifted in well after ko time. Then there was the delay for their new kit to arrive from the factory. Their bloke reffed to some effect. He was friggin hopeless, overruling his only linesman, me, a fellow Goerdie at that and then turning down a penalty when Gavin, haring for goal, was assassinated from behind. Gavin didn't even have time to dive, hitting the ground chin first. All their players we spoke to said it was a penalty. What can you do but battle on. After 10 minutes or so I came into the game as linesman for the one and only time. The 'ref' came over and asked me how long had gone. It wasn't that his watch had stopped but that he didn't have a watch! This was a first in football for me. A delay followed until a mobile phone was borrowed!
They hit the bar with a chip and the post with the follow up. Their only chance of the first half and most of the second. We got a game together and were very solid at the back and inventive going forward. Alas, chances were frequently missed.
Second half saw a bit more possession for them but we still carved out chances but were denied by unconvincing shooting and bad luck.
Late in the game Gavin hurtled in from the right and ended a move which had commenced from the hardworking Dave. His low raking sidefoot sweetly found the net.
The influential Chris G went off with a hamstring pull .
They equalised from a woeful passage of play. A corner to far post was headed in by a totally unmarked player. Noone near him, so easy.
They got the winner when Ron got caught out in midfield caught in two minds or was that three. They strode forward to lash in a winner. Sorry chaps and I was only on for five minutes. Perhaps we should have been out of sight by then.
Grub in pub and a few pints then yem.
The chastened one
Next week away, 1pm kick off, in Letchworth against Wibury Wanderers who luckily beat us
2-1 before Christmas.
Tuesday 9 February 2010
Saints 2 KNOBS 2 - match report by Gavin
‘Should have won’ said Dave, ‘I can’t believe we lost’ thought Chris G but most of were happy that we sneaked a draw in a rather feisty encounter on a cold Sunday morning in St. Albans. After a late withdrawal from Matt, the big decision for stand-in manager Chairman Al was, who should play up front with the people’s champion Dave ‘shimmy, shimmy’ Jordan? Who knows what happened on Friday night but Ron’s team sheet never lies and it was true, Dave was about to have his moment in the sun.
On arriving, confusion over strips meant that we had to wear bibs. Bully wasn’t happy. Not only would the talent scouts not be able to see the Number 4 on his back, Mr Groundsman clearly looked at him when stating that some players might struggle to fit into them. At this point it might be worth noting that if there is an epidemic of young girls collapsing in the changing areas at St. Albans School, the finger should clearly point towards Twiggy and his early morning movements. Strewth!
As for the game? Well…we started off well but after a poor decision by the ref, we soon found ourselves a goal down. John Boyle tracking back, tackled their left midfielder but the ref deemed it a foul. Was this a sign to come? From the free-kick, the Saints took the lead…can’t remember how but it was annoying. We soon stormed back into the game. A marvellous run from Richard (he informs me, he ran from well inside our half, beating 13 players along the way) saw him get to the by-line where he promptly squared it. Our own little ‘fox in the box’ John Boyle tucked it home with aplomb. Where was Dave when this happened? Taking defenders away apparently. He was the pivot point in our well-oiled machine! Soon we were getting to grips with the game, creating a few chances and putting pressure on from corners. Chris Wilson worked tirelessly in the middle and had a great game. It wasn’t long before we took the lead. A nifty turn from Gavin, saw a cheeky nutmeg and then a dive and then the cry – ‘penalty!’ – up stepped Bully to whack it home with his usual efficiency. 2-1. We breezed through the rest of the half with some nice attacking play and some stout defending, with Roy causing complaints, which always warms the cockles of his fellow team mates hearts. Changes were made at half-term. Brendan and Twiggy coming on and Alistair and Gavin going off…these were the start of the rolling substitutions. Did this upset our rhythm or did the Saints just play better in the second half? Probably the latter. It was a siege of corners and crosses fired into the box. Trevor held out superbly, with one fine save coming from a one-on-one opportunity. Finally they broke through from a free-kick that rebounded off Trevor’s chest into the path of their own ‘fox in the box’ who tucked it away quite nicely. 2-2 and that was the way the match would end. We only had two chances in the second half, John blasting over after some good work down the right and Phil had a free-kick hit into a wall. We were living off scraps up front. Poor old Dave – this was to be his moment but alas it turned out he was ‘limited’. They should have won really – Twiggy gave away a clear penalty (although Roy said it wasn’t a foul – the bloke could still stand up!) but their ref decided it was just on the edge of the box. Thank goodness for that.
Food was nice – overcooked pasta and Bolognese. Good turnout and it was interesting to see that Chris W. has a greater presence on the pitch than he does at the bar. Onto Ware – Where? WARE!!! Oh…forget it.
On arriving, confusion over strips meant that we had to wear bibs. Bully wasn’t happy. Not only would the talent scouts not be able to see the Number 4 on his back, Mr Groundsman clearly looked at him when stating that some players might struggle to fit into them. At this point it might be worth noting that if there is an epidemic of young girls collapsing in the changing areas at St. Albans School, the finger should clearly point towards Twiggy and his early morning movements. Strewth!
As for the game? Well…we started off well but after a poor decision by the ref, we soon found ourselves a goal down. John Boyle tracking back, tackled their left midfielder but the ref deemed it a foul. Was this a sign to come? From the free-kick, the Saints took the lead…can’t remember how but it was annoying. We soon stormed back into the game. A marvellous run from Richard (he informs me, he ran from well inside our half, beating 13 players along the way) saw him get to the by-line where he promptly squared it. Our own little ‘fox in the box’ John Boyle tucked it home with aplomb. Where was Dave when this happened? Taking defenders away apparently. He was the pivot point in our well-oiled machine! Soon we were getting to grips with the game, creating a few chances and putting pressure on from corners. Chris Wilson worked tirelessly in the middle and had a great game. It wasn’t long before we took the lead. A nifty turn from Gavin, saw a cheeky nutmeg and then a dive and then the cry – ‘penalty!’ – up stepped Bully to whack it home with his usual efficiency. 2-1. We breezed through the rest of the half with some nice attacking play and some stout defending, with Roy causing complaints, which always warms the cockles of his fellow team mates hearts. Changes were made at half-term. Brendan and Twiggy coming on and Alistair and Gavin going off…these were the start of the rolling substitutions. Did this upset our rhythm or did the Saints just play better in the second half? Probably the latter. It was a siege of corners and crosses fired into the box. Trevor held out superbly, with one fine save coming from a one-on-one opportunity. Finally they broke through from a free-kick that rebounded off Trevor’s chest into the path of their own ‘fox in the box’ who tucked it away quite nicely. 2-2 and that was the way the match would end. We only had two chances in the second half, John blasting over after some good work down the right and Phil had a free-kick hit into a wall. We were living off scraps up front. Poor old Dave – this was to be his moment but alas it turned out he was ‘limited’. They should have won really – Twiggy gave away a clear penalty (although Roy said it wasn’t a foul – the bloke could still stand up!) but their ref decided it was just on the edge of the box. Thank goodness for that.
Food was nice – overcooked pasta and Bolognese. Good turnout and it was interesting to see that Chris W. has a greater presence on the pitch than he does at the bar. Onto Ware – Where? WARE!!! Oh…forget it.
Monday 1 February 2010
MBDA 1 Knobs 1
A frosty morning, an unplayable pitch and Andy Murray getting hammered on TV what more could you want? Will it be 150,000 years before Knobs win again, possibly, before Newcastle win anything again, probably.
Withdrawals of Phil and Darren and crosswires with Roy ( I wouldn't cross anything with Roy)
led to us playing with the bare eleven and me as a grumpy sub. As I say we had the bare eleven.
The pitch was a huge leveller and though we made far more chances, they only threatened from corners or freekicks that Dave concedes to keep us on our toes, unfortunately we missed more chances, far more!
They foraged well but how that bloke avoided the own goal with his swipe that miraculously hit the post..... We scored midway through the second half from a neat move which saw another Gavin square ball lashed high into the net by Matt.
With 20 minutes to go Ron replaced the wounded elk that is Steve and promptly missed a glorious chance from a sweeping move- it were the pitch I got there too early! From another inexplicable miss they booted clear and one of their better players shot home from an angle, the ball bobbling from an iceberg and going over Trevor's outstretched arm. We threatened again but I think the pitch won.
A first for the club, Alistair refusing to play second half with a trainer clad Brendan because he kept slipping and miskicking. Remedy? Brendan changed his footwear. Not for him the retort of kettles calling the pot black or fuck off you cunt- Nancy's traditional greeting to Chris Wil;son.
Dave played well- fouls a lot. Chris G played well, never ever fouls intentionally!
The Mallard was well attended by us not so by them. We slagged off those who weren't there, what a mirthful hour. There was "food".
Dave fouls a lot but rarely in the pub except on special diet.
Friday is my investiture night apparently in the Station I will arrive suitably attired.
Oh yes signed Dick!
PS who wishes to manage next season- must be a Knebworth resident, have broad shoulders and a thick skin, have an innate sense of humour not a tansplant and be able to tyyppefjt.... My vote is for John Boyle that indefatigable worker vbehind the scenes. No fans of clubs outside the Premiership need apply.
Withdrawals of Phil and Darren and crosswires with Roy ( I wouldn't cross anything with Roy)
led to us playing with the bare eleven and me as a grumpy sub. As I say we had the bare eleven.
The pitch was a huge leveller and though we made far more chances, they only threatened from corners or freekicks that Dave concedes to keep us on our toes, unfortunately we missed more chances, far more!
They foraged well but how that bloke avoided the own goal with his swipe that miraculously hit the post..... We scored midway through the second half from a neat move which saw another Gavin square ball lashed high into the net by Matt.
With 20 minutes to go Ron replaced the wounded elk that is Steve and promptly missed a glorious chance from a sweeping move- it were the pitch I got there too early! From another inexplicable miss they booted clear and one of their better players shot home from an angle, the ball bobbling from an iceberg and going over Trevor's outstretched arm. We threatened again but I think the pitch won.
A first for the club, Alistair refusing to play second half with a trainer clad Brendan because he kept slipping and miskicking. Remedy? Brendan changed his footwear. Not for him the retort of kettles calling the pot black or fuck off you cunt- Nancy's traditional greeting to Chris Wil;son.
Dave played well- fouls a lot. Chris G played well, never ever fouls intentionally!
The Mallard was well attended by us not so by them. We slagged off those who weren't there, what a mirthful hour. There was "food".
Dave fouls a lot but rarely in the pub except on special diet.
Friday is my investiture night apparently in the Station I will arrive suitably attired.
Oh yes signed Dick!
PS who wishes to manage next season- must be a Knebworth resident, have broad shoulders and a thick skin, have an innate sense of humour not a tansplant and be able to tyyppefjt.... My vote is for John Boyle that indefatigable worker vbehind the scenes. No fans of clubs outside the Premiership need apply.
Monday 25 January 2010
Knobs 3 Therfield 4
Glad I was ref and not part of this debacle. Steve glad he was watching and not part of this horror show- not that he would necessarily have made much difference. It was crap defending that undid us. Some of our football was good on a heavy, claggy pitch, far superior to theirs who scored from their four 'chances'. Honest!
Our missed chances were legion. We came back from 2-0 down. A defence splitting pass by their influential midfielder was smashed in from an angle, then some robotic defending culminated in Brendan chesting over the line- where was his scissor kick? Or indeed lift his leg and any old kick? After a catalogue of misses Gavin decided to go it alone and finished with a rasper.
Another fine attack saw us with an open goal and even players in support followed by a real fluffer from which they broke away and had the ball in our net within ten seconds! 3-1.
A penalty awarded after a hatchet attempt by their giant redwood on Gavin was converted by Gavin himself, 3-2. They were a little disconcerted claiming it was outside the box. Bill assured me it was a good two yards inside. Confirmation of my dimishing acuity of vision. I actually heard one of their mob say it was inside and then because Gavin didn't dive but tried to continue, chance lost, it was claimed it wasn't a penalty. You can't win, apparently the ref's a "cheat", a "wanker" and a "cheating twat".
Half time 3-2.
All Knobs in the second half and the misses kept on coming until a lovely move saw Gavin square for Matt to exquisitely sidefoot home from 10 yards. The heat, such as it was, went out of the battle and it looked like a crap fought draw until a punt upfield led to a race between our ailing keeper Mark (knickname 'Ping') and their cube sized young centre forward. Youth won out and he belted a helluva rocket in for an angled winner. Credit where credit's due.
John Twigg took over in goal and kept his second clean sheet in succession. Please note.
Steve received his letter from Knebworth Parish and took it in good heart- put yer litter out in Watton Road- starting this week.
A good turn out in the Station where the food was minimalist and tardy.
Who missed the most and the easiest today?
Cheating wanker bastard
Our missed chances were legion. We came back from 2-0 down. A defence splitting pass by their influential midfielder was smashed in from an angle, then some robotic defending culminated in Brendan chesting over the line- where was his scissor kick? Or indeed lift his leg and any old kick? After a catalogue of misses Gavin decided to go it alone and finished with a rasper.
Another fine attack saw us with an open goal and even players in support followed by a real fluffer from which they broke away and had the ball in our net within ten seconds! 3-1.
A penalty awarded after a hatchet attempt by their giant redwood on Gavin was converted by Gavin himself, 3-2. They were a little disconcerted claiming it was outside the box. Bill assured me it was a good two yards inside. Confirmation of my dimishing acuity of vision. I actually heard one of their mob say it was inside and then because Gavin didn't dive but tried to continue, chance lost, it was claimed it wasn't a penalty. You can't win, apparently the ref's a "cheat", a "wanker" and a "cheating twat".
Half time 3-2.
All Knobs in the second half and the misses kept on coming until a lovely move saw Gavin square for Matt to exquisitely sidefoot home from 10 yards. The heat, such as it was, went out of the battle and it looked like a crap fought draw until a punt upfield led to a race between our ailing keeper Mark (knickname 'Ping') and their cube sized young centre forward. Youth won out and he belted a helluva rocket in for an angled winner. Credit where credit's due.
John Twigg took over in goal and kept his second clean sheet in succession. Please note.
Steve received his letter from Knebworth Parish and took it in good heart- put yer litter out in Watton Road- starting this week.
A good turn out in the Station where the food was minimalist and tardy.
Who missed the most and the easiest today?
Cheating wanker bastard
Sunday 3 January 2010
Knobs 7 Steeple Morden 1
Several visits to the ground led me to believe some form of match could take place- tiddlywinks perhaps the purists might say.
Sir Ron- in new, proper boots, hey that's part of the game, had a blinder- deny him you scrooges! He knows he still has a bit in him but the youngsters keep him out of the fray.
We played on the top pitch and played reasonably well.
Ron missed an early chanc e couldn't lift it over the keeper. But the keeper made amends by not doing anything after that. Hey, they were a very young side by the way- very. Their tactics simply seemed to be their makkem dribbling forward, like the absent Gav, before running out of options. They had a few shots wide in the first half. Matty foraged well before lashing in our first goal. I think Chris Wilson got the second, was that Ron's clever dummy by the way? The third came from another subtle dummy by Ron and was turned in by the coccyx challenged John Boyle- known by his opposition as "dickhead". Another good move saw Chris smashing a shot inside the far post. 4-0 half time.
We started sluggishly in the second half and they got one back was it Mark or was it Brendan or even was it Steve? No, unanimously it was Brendan. He'll deny it. Alistair, reffi ing, can you run the line Bill? "No", but he did. Another goal by Chris against their keeper who couldn't bend it
like Beckham or any fucker. But his fourth a 40 yard half volley into an empty net was a gobsmacker.
A freekick by Bully on target- important this- saw their keeper again challenged in the bending department. We could have scored loads as we carefully played our way round the ice.
Hey the new boots were great, thanks Steve, my 'career' has been elongated to my pension age.
If you can put up with me.
Next week a league game against high flying Harpenden , an unusual team selection conundrum. Picking those who are match fit- let me know if you think you are so categorised!
Goodly turn out in t'Station, just like old times except we win.
Sir Ron
Sir Ron- in new, proper boots, hey that's part of the game, had a blinder- deny him you scrooges! He knows he still has a bit in him but the youngsters keep him out of the fray.
We played on the top pitch and played reasonably well.
Ron missed an early chanc e couldn't lift it over the keeper. But the keeper made amends by not doing anything after that. Hey, they were a very young side by the way- very. Their tactics simply seemed to be their makkem dribbling forward, like the absent Gav, before running out of options. They had a few shots wide in the first half. Matty foraged well before lashing in our first goal. I think Chris Wilson got the second, was that Ron's clever dummy by the way? The third came from another subtle dummy by Ron and was turned in by the coccyx challenged John Boyle- known by his opposition as "dickhead". Another good move saw Chris smashing a shot inside the far post. 4-0 half time.
We started sluggishly in the second half and they got one back was it Mark or was it Brendan or even was it Steve? No, unanimously it was Brendan. He'll deny it. Alistair, reffi ing, can you run the line Bill? "No", but he did. Another goal by Chris against their keeper who couldn't bend it
like Beckham or any fucker. But his fourth a 40 yard half volley into an empty net was a gobsmacker.
A freekick by Bully on target- important this- saw their keeper again challenged in the bending department. We could have scored loads as we carefully played our way round the ice.
Hey the new boots were great, thanks Steve, my 'career' has been elongated to my pension age.
If you can put up with me.
Next week a league game against high flying Harpenden , an unusual team selection conundrum. Picking those who are match fit- let me know if you think you are so categorised!
Goodly turn out in t'Station, just like old times except we win.
Sir Ron
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