Welwyn Sports 7 Knobs 0

Lots of enthusiasm amongst the team as we waited expectantly in the car park at the station.  Manager Dave was only slightly late due to chasing his dog through the streets and  arrived with news that Nick Took Took  had again cried off the night before.  All was not lost though as Dave had picked up a young chap on the way who just needed to borrow some size 8 boots and put some talc in his hair so he looked old enough to play.

Amazingly though we arrived on time for the first time this season to an away game (well most of us did).  What we found was the world’s longest football pitch waiting for us and an opposition with a squad of about 16 players who made changes every 10 minutes.

Manager Dave gave a rousing speech – “You all know what you’re doing”. 

Mascot Billy won the toss and chose that the Knobs kick off.  That we did, promptly lost the ball attacking down the right, the oppo attacked down their left, crossed to the left back post and scored.  Less than a minute in and 1-0.  Things didn’t get much better after that.

We had quite a few shots early on.  None of them within 30 yards though.  The midget keeper may well have been tested if the ball hadn’t rolled along the floor to him every time.

Brendan was subbed by Dave after doing his best Danny Rose impression against Stoke and trying to fight the player who fouled him.  At least he showed some fight!

Lee ran his heart out in his pair of new £95 boots.  He asked if we can make a mention that he is washing the kit.

Martyn gave away a penalty which was scored.  Tony tried to give another away pushing a goal bound shot past the post with his hand but the ref by this point had clearly lost the plot having moments earlier allowed Welwyn an offside goal which he claimed was because one of the Knobs played the scorer, when we clearly didn’t and he couldn’t tell us which one of us it was!

Manager Dave said there were lots of positives and was happy with the performance.  Clearly chasing his dog round the streets and being out in the sun had sent him mad!

Next week we have the boring, rigid and physical Buntingford coming to town.  Ron is playing up front so expect some goals!

Knobs 0 Walkern 5 or thereabouts

Terrible! Don't know whether that is because this is simply the latest woeful result/performance or simply cos it's a standalone piece of shite. Roll on next season- new management, new attitudes, new commitment.
Individuals tried hard, some individuals look past it- well perhaps for this season yet as a team we are, well, simply not a team.
Well done James. Immense.
Fair wind to yer arse.

Knobs 1 Blunham 6

They played together, we didn't/couldn't. They had three outstanding individuals who were much fitter. They had one bloke who could ping the ball about over distance with pace and accuracy, two of his goals were delicious strikes. We were strangers to each other- literally.
Pitch surface disgustingly grassy and bobbly but same for both sides.
New keeper sensible Dave at fault not at all.
Bully sliced in the opening goal...... for them.
We chopped and changed position all to no avail. Could things have been different? Probably not. Better player availability would help. But that is where we are at present.
Gavin scored with his head I think. Gave a glimmer of hope 3-1 but they shat on us.
Good pub turn out but no food, thank goodness.
Home v Walkern 13th, away v Welwyn 27th, home v Buntingf ord May 4th and home v MBDA May 14th, Wednesday.