As Sir Alf would have fulsomely declared, "well done chaps".
Last season a rather different Knobs side lost 7-1 here, where a certain amount of piss taking irked us in our cups. Going out onto the pitch, one of their lot was overheard saying how they'd get a bucket load of goals today. You're only as good as yer last game fella and they were well beaten, physically, tactically and creatively in a very competitive match. They've quite a skilful, strong front two which they tender to pepper with 60 yard exocets from their centre half. Scrapping for the second ball was important and we outfought them. A first half lead was due to an opportunist goal by the pacy Gavin, who showed class on a number of occasions, perhaps we didn't involve him sufficiently. It must be said this pitch is a small, tight school pitch and perhaps this mitigated against Gavin operating at full tilt. For this he might be thankful as he was dead side of knackered near the end. Perhaps it was just as well he wasn't fed more often.
A change midway through the half saw Phil make his first change from wide left to centre midfield with silky Steve further forward. An injury to Roy saw Phil slot in at the back next to the biting Chris. Half time 1-0.
Second half saw us carve a number of half chances before a bullet Steve corner was nutted in fiercely by Matt. Every corner gave us chances, they were creating nothing. With them 3 at the back we could have fucked em on each of our several breaks and so it proved as Matt beat wor Gav to a Mills pass, to run through unchallenged, round the keeper and pop in for 3-0. Were they shocked, I think so. A throw in which might not have come into play, was turned to their advantage as we switched off from their quick throw before they netted. Then fuck me we donated them their second. Inexplicably John, 'I've lost a litre of blood' Boyle played a square ball to me of all people which was intercepted and fluffily converted. We tightened up with Roy back on at the back and an attack led to a pass of vision through the mayhem by Steve, leftwards to Mark who inexplicably controlled and found the opposite top corner from 25 yards. That's it you lot- we're not gonna let you come back, we were only teasing.
Was I a little over verbal- not really it's a part of the game. Anyway each game could be my last, I was pleased to be involved in such a competitive game with such a friendly set of lads and I was on anti biotics and under threat from her indoors not to even think of playing. Don't tell her!
Well I've walked the dogs and am now going for a run. Some of the younger boys Boyle, Bull, Twigg and Simpson (via Tescos) have adjourned to the Station for a warm down but I'm saving myself for Friday night in the Old Town. See you there. Even Mark, after his stupendous contribution is considering turning out. To talk us through his shot. Each time he mentions it he buys a round- you needn't bring any money then.
We went to The Purple Duck in Baldock where mince, marge and bread and a delicious yellow vomit was the fare on offer. A good turn out. All except Mark, who'd rushed off provide vivid descriptions of his goal to their Andrew.
Howay the lads- now let's go and beat Young Boys of St Helens next week on the St Albans shitheap. Victory or on yer shields.
Rob Roy
Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack
Sunday 25 November 2007
Monday 19 November 2007
Datchworth 2 Knobs 4- League
Another victory, getting boring is it?
On a freezing cold day with a bitter east coast wind blowin up the jaxy, Knobs secured another partially elegant, partially crap victory. Victory was never in doubt or was it- after they came back from 3-0 down in the second half to 3-2. I don't think those playing were in doubt, they kept on playing nicely (I was referee-so I kept staggering around suffering) but the chances missed outnumbered those scored, hence the final goals total- 4. Lovely bit of logic that.
The pitch at Tewin was carpetted with worm casts, with not a few rabbit holes, which together with the lack of a lawnmower's attention made smooth football difficult. Still there was some good stuff. Martin and Steve were outstanding, the former my man of the match with Phil, Dave and Roy coming up on the rails. Trevor kept the lead intact with 2 or 3 extraordinary saves to go with.... say no more. Chris G managed to turn one scrambled shot past the post with the faintest of knicks which might have changed the course of the game at 3-2. John Boyle had a cold, Matt hated the crossbar, Richard hated playing full back- did well, Mike Lisle scored with a Shearer like header and Mark hated a bobble which caused him to .......... half volley a chance into neighbouring Welwyn Garden City, still it wasn't our ball which was a real lifeless dud. Ron hated playing referee.
First 10 minutes we were appalling. Nuff said.
Late in first half a switch inside saw monsiuer Bull rifle home from 25 yards over their diminutive goalkeeper.
A questionable offside break, turned down by their referee, ie me, fell eventually to Phil who netted.
Early second half saw a crashing header from Mike make it 3-0.
They came back through two goals from corners which were scrambled in from 3 and 6 inches respectively.
An excellent move led to Phil cutting in from the right wing and ignoring several players, nicely placed, proceeded to lash it in for his second and our 4th.
Into the cricket pavilion where hot water was obtained before most of us journeyed to Datchworth Club for a welcome pint.
A choice of vegetable stew or mince stew brought us round- a wee dog entertained us by pissing on the carpet- well it was freezing out- and the bandwagon rolls on.
Well done.
On a freezing cold day with a bitter east coast wind blowin up the jaxy, Knobs secured another partially elegant, partially crap victory. Victory was never in doubt or was it- after they came back from 3-0 down in the second half to 3-2. I don't think those playing were in doubt, they kept on playing nicely (I was referee-so I kept staggering around suffering) but the chances missed outnumbered those scored, hence the final goals total- 4. Lovely bit of logic that.
The pitch at Tewin was carpetted with worm casts, with not a few rabbit holes, which together with the lack of a lawnmower's attention made smooth football difficult. Still there was some good stuff. Martin and Steve were outstanding, the former my man of the match with Phil, Dave and Roy coming up on the rails. Trevor kept the lead intact with 2 or 3 extraordinary saves to go with.... say no more. Chris G managed to turn one scrambled shot past the post with the faintest of knicks which might have changed the course of the game at 3-2. John Boyle had a cold, Matt hated the crossbar, Richard hated playing full back- did well, Mike Lisle scored with a Shearer like header and Mark hated a bobble which caused him to .......... half volley a chance into neighbouring Welwyn Garden City, still it wasn't our ball which was a real lifeless dud. Ron hated playing referee.
First 10 minutes we were appalling. Nuff said.
Late in first half a switch inside saw monsiuer Bull rifle home from 25 yards over their diminutive goalkeeper.
A questionable offside break, turned down by their referee, ie me, fell eventually to Phil who netted.
Early second half saw a crashing header from Mike make it 3-0.
They came back through two goals from corners which were scrambled in from 3 and 6 inches respectively.
An excellent move led to Phil cutting in from the right wing and ignoring several players, nicely placed, proceeded to lash it in for his second and our 4th.
Into the cricket pavilion where hot water was obtained before most of us journeyed to Datchworth Club for a welcome pint.
A choice of vegetable stew or mince stew brought us round- a wee dog entertained us by pissing on the carpet- well it was freezing out- and the bandwagon rolls on.
Well done.
Monday 12 November 2007
Garston 0 Knobs 2
A grand game, albeit only 40 minutes each way as it turned out, on the grassy true flowing Met Police ground. We deserved our win, with a somewhat changed side. Garston I feel misled us as to the make up of their side, leading me to leave Phil, Matt, Chris, Gavin and Mike grinding out their frustrations in domestic settings- still other people had a chance to play and contribute. Enough of the psychological warfare.
Man of the match, without a doubt surely was our keeper Trevor who caught everything cleanly and saved all that was propelled toward him, including a one on one save to which one could only retort "bravo"!
Having said that, it was not a game we were lucky to win. Not at all, we played some lovely and penetrating stuff, especially in the first half, and we scored with some of our chances and Trevor saved all of theirs. Personally I was a bit chuffed when their senior players, at the end, praised our craftiness and defending from the front, the rarely noticed and not highly acclaimed art of putting yerselves in relevant positions. This was important against a team who continually play out from the back in triangles, oblongs, circles and rarely a straight line.
Mark Mills returned to something like form with some good passes and nicely flighted corners, one of which led to our first goal, butted in by birthday boy, c'est moi- 62 the day before. Al aalways get a few in the air divvint ye fret hinny! The game wore on with a 1-0 lead looking rarely enough, till a nice wee break saw a penetrating through ball from geriatric boy swallowed up by Richard, who galloped from the half way line to net unerringly. I knew it was a good pass cos Bill praised it- yes you did, I heard you.
Nick making his proper debut interested watchers by a succession of fouls (was it 7 or 8) but, hey, he was competing for the ball.
Mention must be made for Steve's visionary 40 yard diagonal ball into the area where my lovely firm header was fucking wide. Really disappointing that cos I'd read the intent and could visualisethe glory as I modestly discussed matters in the Station afterwards. I missed another headed chance from a lovely Mills' corner later. Still it was nice to get a game and compete.
Rip Van Winkle turned down a definite penalty earlier, when M. Boyle was upended from behind, but at least that spared us the embarrassing sight of Dteve and Martin fighting over the ensuing spot kick. Brendan played well, Peter did well until he visibly tired, Andy did well replacing his brother, so much so that folk said they couldn't tell the difference between them. Andrew's the strong, silent one!
We adjourned to the bar, where chaps were struck by the personality of the barmaid so much so that they were willing to wait ages at the bar for a gargle just admiring her- "style". The sandwiches weren't bad either.
An extended session back at the Station, where a few old men chewed the fat and smoked pipes of peace, figuratively, ended for me at 4 pm when I change into a pumpkin- or is that a punchbag if a cum yem pissed. Johnny Boyle was left alone to hold the fort and a final glass of lager. A wonder if he's yem yet.
Next week a league game v Datchworth at the postage stamp Woolmer Green pitch, followed by drinks at Datchworth sports club. 1.30 kick off. Howay the lads. Oh divvint mention them lads they're friggin useless. Big Sam- Big Nancy Boy.
"Older dan dem der hills" Ron- yet I feel remarquably fresh this morning. Watch out!
Man of the match, without a doubt surely was our keeper Trevor who caught everything cleanly and saved all that was propelled toward him, including a one on one save to which one could only retort "bravo"!
Having said that, it was not a game we were lucky to win. Not at all, we played some lovely and penetrating stuff, especially in the first half, and we scored with some of our chances and Trevor saved all of theirs. Personally I was a bit chuffed when their senior players, at the end, praised our craftiness and defending from the front, the rarely noticed and not highly acclaimed art of putting yerselves in relevant positions. This was important against a team who continually play out from the back in triangles, oblongs, circles and rarely a straight line.
Mark Mills returned to something like form with some good passes and nicely flighted corners, one of which led to our first goal, butted in by birthday boy, c'est moi- 62 the day before. Al aalways get a few in the air divvint ye fret hinny! The game wore on with a 1-0 lead looking rarely enough, till a nice wee break saw a penetrating through ball from geriatric boy swallowed up by Richard, who galloped from the half way line to net unerringly. I knew it was a good pass cos Bill praised it- yes you did, I heard you.
Nick making his proper debut interested watchers by a succession of fouls (was it 7 or 8) but, hey, he was competing for the ball.
Mention must be made for Steve's visionary 40 yard diagonal ball into the area where my lovely firm header was fucking wide. Really disappointing that cos I'd read the intent and could visualisethe glory as I modestly discussed matters in the Station afterwards. I missed another headed chance from a lovely Mills' corner later. Still it was nice to get a game and compete.
Rip Van Winkle turned down a definite penalty earlier, when M. Boyle was upended from behind, but at least that spared us the embarrassing sight of Dteve and Martin fighting over the ensuing spot kick. Brendan played well, Peter did well until he visibly tired, Andy did well replacing his brother, so much so that folk said they couldn't tell the difference between them. Andrew's the strong, silent one!
We adjourned to the bar, where chaps were struck by the personality of the barmaid so much so that they were willing to wait ages at the bar for a gargle just admiring her- "style". The sandwiches weren't bad either.
An extended session back at the Station, where a few old men chewed the fat and smoked pipes of peace, figuratively, ended for me at 4 pm when I change into a pumpkin- or is that a punchbag if a cum yem pissed. Johnny Boyle was left alone to hold the fort and a final glass of lager. A wonder if he's yem yet.
Next week a league game v Datchworth at the postage stamp Woolmer Green pitch, followed by drinks at Datchworth sports club. 1.30 kick off. Howay the lads. Oh divvint mention them lads they're friggin useless. Big Sam- Big Nancy Boy.
"Older dan dem der hills" Ron- yet I feel remarquably fresh this morning. Watch out!
Friday 9 November 2007
Blog Poll
The latest poll has now finished and I think Ron will have to dress up as Father Christmas to keep the players happy!
The next poll is about another hot topic – the food in the Station after a home game. Remember it’s Friday so forget about work and get voting and writing articulate pieces on the blog.
And finally it's Rons birthday on Saturday and I'm sure it comes from all of us to wish him a very happy one with plenty of soft drinks to celebrate.
The next poll is about another hot topic – the food in the Station after a home game. Remember it’s Friday so forget about work and get voting and writing articulate pieces on the blog.
And finally it's Rons birthday on Saturday and I'm sure it comes from all of us to wish him a very happy one with plenty of soft drinks to celebrate.
Monday 5 November 2007
Knobs 3 Birchanger 3
This is the true unbiassed assessment of Sunday's game. Pish on the "in before Ron report" filched from the Birchanger site. (Pleasing to know we're not the only anoraks in the wardrobe).
A game I fully expected to end with a decisive victory for nobheads proved to be a little more problematical. Blame it on the keeper? OK I'll imbibe a few to that, but only a few. Ultimately it was down to the team not outwitting a robust and somewhat agricultural opposition. Remember it was 3-1 after 70 minutes, we, a side of flair and fitness had only scored once despite continual possession and attacks. Am I missing something here? Yes, I know chopping and changing personnel and positions hardly helps but that is something we have to live with!
We led early from a soaring Bully diagonal cross to the far post which was unstoppably volleyed by Chris Wilson. Picture move and goal. God said it's November the 4th and that is not going to be unstoppable after all, parried by the keeper it fell to Mike who slotted home from close range.
They never got remotely near our weaklink until a kick aimed at the ball from some distance saw it swirl unstoppably into our net to give them an undeserved equaliser. (Well it was unstopabble for me). Protests that it was an unfair effort, well above head height, fell on deaf ears.
Second half saw them score from a cross to the near post, then score with an unstoppable, (another one) ricochet from the foot of man of the match, Chris Wilson. Inspiration was required and a blindingly obvious substitution was made. We replaced our keeper, me, with our Yifter the Shifter facsimile, Gavin, bringing Mike back on from flag duties. It was more or less one way after that and a little more time would have seen us comfortable winners. Matt remembering he's a good little finisher scored a second, before Chris Wilson hurtled into the area, wrestling and gouging all who confronted him and saw the ball fall for Mike who equalised with a long range shot, 10 yards! This is mair like it, noo for thi winner, but twas not to be as referee for the day, Big Phil blew thi fookin whistle. Oh aye and another match ball lost up the tree.
Was it fair to take Mark off with 10 minutes left? I felt bad about it cos he'd only appeared at half time but tough decisions have to be made. It enabled me to bring Dave J on as sub on the right and put Mike Lisle back up front. Watching from the side it was bleeding obvious that that more than did the trick, but the principle of giving everyone a chance was transgressed, in a way, but only in a little way. Hope the rest of you will be as understanding, when a footballing decision needs to be made, to your own unwanted exclusion. The Knobs' unbeaten run continues.
The sausage and chips at the Station were a novelty, pity more of us and the opposition were not in attendance to sample them.
Next week away to Garston and a different team will represent the Knobs. Being over 60 is the prime prerequisite for selection but other forms of disability are taken into account.
The Unstoppable Hatchet Man
A game I fully expected to end with a decisive victory for nobheads proved to be a little more problematical. Blame it on the keeper? OK I'll imbibe a few to that, but only a few. Ultimately it was down to the team not outwitting a robust and somewhat agricultural opposition. Remember it was 3-1 after 70 minutes, we, a side of flair and fitness had only scored once despite continual possession and attacks. Am I missing something here? Yes, I know chopping and changing personnel and positions hardly helps but that is something we have to live with!
We led early from a soaring Bully diagonal cross to the far post which was unstoppably volleyed by Chris Wilson. Picture move and goal. God said it's November the 4th and that is not going to be unstoppable after all, parried by the keeper it fell to Mike who slotted home from close range.
They never got remotely near our weaklink until a kick aimed at the ball from some distance saw it swirl unstoppably into our net to give them an undeserved equaliser. (Well it was unstopabble for me). Protests that it was an unfair effort, well above head height, fell on deaf ears.
Second half saw them score from a cross to the near post, then score with an unstoppable, (another one) ricochet from the foot of man of the match, Chris Wilson. Inspiration was required and a blindingly obvious substitution was made. We replaced our keeper, me, with our Yifter the Shifter facsimile, Gavin, bringing Mike back on from flag duties. It was more or less one way after that and a little more time would have seen us comfortable winners. Matt remembering he's a good little finisher scored a second, before Chris Wilson hurtled into the area, wrestling and gouging all who confronted him and saw the ball fall for Mike who equalised with a long range shot, 10 yards! This is mair like it, noo for thi winner, but twas not to be as referee for the day, Big Phil blew thi fookin whistle. Oh aye and another match ball lost up the tree.
Was it fair to take Mark off with 10 minutes left? I felt bad about it cos he'd only appeared at half time but tough decisions have to be made. It enabled me to bring Dave J on as sub on the right and put Mike Lisle back up front. Watching from the side it was bleeding obvious that that more than did the trick, but the principle of giving everyone a chance was transgressed, in a way, but only in a little way. Hope the rest of you will be as understanding, when a footballing decision needs to be made, to your own unwanted exclusion. The Knobs' unbeaten run continues.
The sausage and chips at the Station were a novelty, pity more of us and the opposition were not in attendance to sample them.
Next week away to Garston and a different team will represent the Knobs. Being over 60 is the prime prerequisite for selection but other forms of disability are taken into account.
The Unstoppable Hatchet Man
Match report from Birchanger - in before Ron's
Match Report for 04/11/07
Knebworth v Birchanger
Birchanger Drew 3-3
Keen to build on the last two performances Birchanger travelled to Knebworth with just 12 available players but came home with a draw after another credible performance. Having taken a 3-1 lead in the second half Birchanger might have expected to win the game but conceded another soft goal late in the game and to be honest Knebworth had 3 excellent chances themselves during the second half two of which keeper Kev Roberson did brilliantly to keep out.
Birchanger started brightly enough but were to fall behind early in the game when Knebworths first effort saw them take the lead. A viscious volley from a Knebworth player was well parried by keeper Roberson but fell kindly to another Knebworth players feet and he couldn't miss. Unbowed Birchanger continued to try to play a passing game but Knebworth defended well until a nice combination between Gary Colson and Ricky Pearson saw Pearson break clear 25 yards from goal, he looked up and caught the goalkeeper off his line and saw his effort loop over the despairing keeper and into the net to make it 1-1.
Caretaker manager Gavin Tooke switched Mark Booker into attack while Gary Colson dropped into his more familiar midfield role and it soon began to reap reward as Bookers strength in the air and on the ground unsettled the home sides defence. However neither side could convert any of the chances that came their way and at half time the sides were deadlocked at 1-1.
A flurry of chances came the way of both sides as the second half got off to a great start. Knebworth were the first to threaten breaking down their right only to see the cross flash across goal with nobody able to get a touch. Birchanger almost took the lead when Mark Bookers excellent pass found Gavin Tooke running into the box his effort going just over with the keeper beaten. Knebworth created the next two firstly when they beat the offside trap and a striker might have done better but Roberson saved well at his feet with the defence caught on their heels. It was Roberson again who saved brilliantly pushing a swerving shot away for a corner to keep the scores level.
Finally Birchanger were to take the lead as they began to play the best football of the game. The breakthrough came when Mark Bookers strength got him to the byline and his cross found Gavin Tooke who again had made a strong run to the near post, lost his marker, and with a deft touch lifted the ball over the keeper. A well worked goal to make it 2-1. Birchangers dominance was rewarded further when Mark Booker then scored himself. After surging into the area he tried his luck and his shot went in after a couple of deflections but nothing would stop Booker claiming his first goal for the Vets which was well deserved.
For the second week running Birchanger either took the foot off the gas or panicked a little having got their noses in front. Firstly they conceded a well worked goal which saw a Knebworth player burst clear and finish well. Then with only 10 minutes left the visitors managed to concede yet another soft goal when a defensive error saw Steve Foster lose the ball in a dangerous area and Knebworth profited to grab the equaliser. Birchanger will feel disappointed but the result was probably about right and this was the 3rd good performance in a row which should help boost their confidence after a shaky beginning to last month.
Knebworth v Birchanger
Birchanger Drew 3-3
Keen to build on the last two performances Birchanger travelled to Knebworth with just 12 available players but came home with a draw after another credible performance. Having taken a 3-1 lead in the second half Birchanger might have expected to win the game but conceded another soft goal late in the game and to be honest Knebworth had 3 excellent chances themselves during the second half two of which keeper Kev Roberson did brilliantly to keep out.
Birchanger started brightly enough but were to fall behind early in the game when Knebworths first effort saw them take the lead. A viscious volley from a Knebworth player was well parried by keeper Roberson but fell kindly to another Knebworth players feet and he couldn't miss. Unbowed Birchanger continued to try to play a passing game but Knebworth defended well until a nice combination between Gary Colson and Ricky Pearson saw Pearson break clear 25 yards from goal, he looked up and caught the goalkeeper off his line and saw his effort loop over the despairing keeper and into the net to make it 1-1.
Caretaker manager Gavin Tooke switched Mark Booker into attack while Gary Colson dropped into his more familiar midfield role and it soon began to reap reward as Bookers strength in the air and on the ground unsettled the home sides defence. However neither side could convert any of the chances that came their way and at half time the sides were deadlocked at 1-1.
A flurry of chances came the way of both sides as the second half got off to a great start. Knebworth were the first to threaten breaking down their right only to see the cross flash across goal with nobody able to get a touch. Birchanger almost took the lead when Mark Bookers excellent pass found Gavin Tooke running into the box his effort going just over with the keeper beaten. Knebworth created the next two firstly when they beat the offside trap and a striker might have done better but Roberson saved well at his feet with the defence caught on their heels. It was Roberson again who saved brilliantly pushing a swerving shot away for a corner to keep the scores level.
Finally Birchanger were to take the lead as they began to play the best football of the game. The breakthrough came when Mark Bookers strength got him to the byline and his cross found Gavin Tooke who again had made a strong run to the near post, lost his marker, and with a deft touch lifted the ball over the keeper. A well worked goal to make it 2-1. Birchangers dominance was rewarded further when Mark Booker then scored himself. After surging into the area he tried his luck and his shot went in after a couple of deflections but nothing would stop Booker claiming his first goal for the Vets which was well deserved.
For the second week running Birchanger either took the foot off the gas or panicked a little having got their noses in front. Firstly they conceded a well worked goal which saw a Knebworth player burst clear and finish well. Then with only 10 minutes left the visitors managed to concede yet another soft goal when a defensive error saw Steve Foster lose the ball in a dangerous area and Knebworth profited to grab the equaliser. Birchanger will feel disappointed but the result was probably about right and this was the 3rd good performance in a row which should help boost their confidence after a shaky beginning to last month.
Friday 2 November 2007
Blog Poll
The latest poll is now finished and quite a few think that it would be fantastic to have player ratings and a man of the match award after each game followed closely by Ron having his hands full of hairy swingers.
The next poll is about the forthcoming team meeting on Friday 30th November so get voting.
And just to remind you all that this blog is open to all and everyone can post comments anonymously and under others names . It is therefore open to abuse not just by knobs members but by infiltrators lurking menacingly on the Internet so take it all with a pinch of salt or a pint of lager, whatever you prefer. I'll have the lager.
The next poll is about the forthcoming team meeting on Friday 30th November so get voting.
And just to remind you all that this blog is open to all and everyone can post comments anonymously and under others names . It is therefore open to abuse not just by knobs members but by infiltrators lurking menacingly on the Internet so take it all with a pinch of salt or a pint of lager, whatever you prefer. I'll have the lager.
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