Knobs 3 Therfield 2

Everyone enjoyed this battle in the mud, pitch fucked now by the way.
I anticipated an easy game, before we all saw a multitude of strangers in their midst before the game- perhaps this might be different? It was, mind you I thought the pitch was a great leveller.
We played some lovely stuff, in the conditions, our finishing proved less magnificient. Their positives proved a marvellous strike to equalise our opener and a penalty, cheatingly given by the most honest ref in the business- give what you see and let 90 minutes equalise all faults- yi canna offer mair sagacity than that.
They turned up with Mongol hordes we had 14. It was ganna be one of those stop -start games of change, stop, start after you Clarence and are your studs razor sharp- but it didn't turn out quite like that.
We opened with a Gavin lungburster down the right with a cross reaching the far post where a rejuvenated Phil (fittish that means) rammed home. They eventually equalised from the aforementioned 30 yard drive which, rarely, did not meet Trev's clarion call of "over".
I turn down a blatant handball for our penalty, hey lads it's Galileo with this whistle- did you know he ended up blind- just an historical footnote. I then gave us a penalty for a soft one- a blatant two handed shove in Alistair's back. No danger, but such an obvious foul right in front of my fading eyes! What an outcry ensued! He pushed him two handed in the back !!!! I contemplated giving up football then such shite did I hear. Let's have a vote next time then we'll knaa what referees really have to put up with in this beautiful game which simply cannot be self policed - unfortunately. The fullback said he had to push him cos he stood on his toe. Sorry but I missed that anatomical assault. Galileo's eyes yi see. The furore went on for minutes into further play but nothing nasty occurred. We all survived. Have I ?
Steve Bull converted the penalty as per usual.
They'd brought on a man mountain up front who must have last obtained exercise running up Everest, not sufficiently quick that Roy couldn't butcher him into terra firma. The second butchering unfortunately took place close to the penalty area from which a penalty was awarded from which they equalised. Who's cheating now yi fuckers?
The news, from their one player who came to The Fox post match, was that he was a semi pro from Borehamwood who most of their side didn't know and who was only 23, this ameliorated, at least, my annoyance at his energetic physical bulk and prowess and his big gob. Old Chris Wilson had a blinder against him.
We didn't score enough first half when the pitch was playable so second half with the pitch the deciding factor there was only gonna be one star man. Arise Sir Clarts!
I thought we played really well with some sensible eye catching football in the conditions. We scored the winner after an hour. Another lung bursting surge by Gavin, why don't his lungs surge quite so much running back defensively- too critical Ron, too critical. The ball came to the ever willing supportive John Boyle at the far post who sensibly headed back into the danger zone where Mike swept home. Well done chaps. Big 23 had a shot from distance scrape the bar- "over" cried the confident keeper much to 23's disdain and we were home but not so dry. All enjoyed a dirty, cold shower before the Fox. I've had bellyache ever since anyone else? The pickled onions?

Knobs 8 Old Owens 0

A bit of a foxpot. We turn out with a strongish side for a league game, they show last minute with 8 men! A game took place with us giving them the extra. We claim the league points we have no spare games on our calendar and fuck the league, every game's a 'league' game at our age.
Steve Hammond and Mark turned out for them first half, Dave wouldn't, he's too partisan by nature. I would have played for them but Dave was unwilling to take up refereeing duties. He's too partisan by nature viz. he's a cheating bastard. So first half was their 8 plus our two against our 11 with me referee and Dave admiring the universe.
They had some good players and played some neat stuff, Mark Mills prominent among this but there was no holding back our our well oiled, balanced machine, coached to the point of a pencil.
After 10 minutes Gavin picked the ball up on the half way line and said fuck this for a soiled nappy and ran at pace through the middle of their team and scored beautifully in the corner. He then spent the next 10 minutes vomitting quietly in some quiet cranny so I am told!
Martin and Steve were prodding, pulling, prompting and piercing in midfield and it was no surprise when goals started flowing. John B added 3 before half time, one via the despairing nutt of Steve Hammond- John's or Steve's? Matty, the metronomic assistant, added one of his own- yes he was miles onside. Alisair was purring up and and down the line, crosses somewhat a lottery, Chris W was back reacqainting himself with the nuances of Vets' football and everyone was at one with the world. Martin was 45 years young. The oppo weren't happy though and asked for a reduction of time, 10 minutes each way, 40 minutes each way, let's fuck off now and I compromised at 35 each way , dunno why just felt sorry for everyone.
Second half more of the same but less coherence in our play as everyone wanted to be Martin and Steve Bull and a certain amount of shape went all gy. Dave was on now, for us, he's a homer, and Alistair was turning out for them , cursed by three blades of grass. Alistair was having a blinder on the right, largely due to John Twigg being awol trying to score goals. But the pitch didn't favour him!
Dave promptly scored on the end of a flowing move (offside?) I wouldn't know I was only reffing. A lovely move ended with Chris W sidefooting home, then John added his cruel fourth, blasting in from the narrowest of angles. Steve and Mark played well for them as did the less fortunate Alistair, when will the grass be cut and rolled to match our finesse and artistry?
Mark could have notched, when through, but was foiled by a neat scissor leg save by Gavin deputising for Phil in goal in the second half. Well done all, sorry for the brevity it seemed a long morning to me!
Phil went to Darlington to see Luton the day before. 4-0 down after half and hour- that's the sort of dogged vet we need!
To the Fox- the oppo 8 were still there drinking when we left- Martin 45 didn't show and Bella and Willie, mes chiens, thought the sausages were simply wonderful.
Cheerio folks.

Sunday v Royston

Called off Friday- deep southern freeze- balmy weather really.
League game home next Sunday- all usual culprits to attend except a working-away- Roy.

Ciaou

Ware 2 Knobs 10

I've struggled to get up and running, John's fault- I think.
This was a league game and it was a farce- I think. But we got 3 points and are top of the league- I believe.
I don't think I'm very keen on this team so I'm glad we won handsomely. We turned up to play on an unplayable pitch. Endless shall we or won't we was ended when I left it to their boastful referee- he of 15 years standing- remember? I do, to rule on the safety of the pitch. They all but one wanted to play so he ruled we should start and see how things went. We did and after the said 10 minutes we were3-1 up. So what could we do ? We continued and stuffed them and noone was hurt. Good!
We went ahead after a minute Mike tapping home from a drop by their gigantic and on the day hopeless keeper. They immediately equalised from a balletically frozen Chris tottering to keep balance and unable to keep out a crap equaliser. Chris adjusted to the farce magnificiently, they unfortunately didn't. Matt, Mike, John Boyle and most of all the fleet footed Gavin tore them to shreads. Their big blokes simply couldn't cope with the surface- they were fucked. Does Gavin ski?
Matt, from an Ali toe poke, toe poked a finish in the top corner from 20 yards and we were on our way. Mike completed a hattrick before half time, poaching nicely then so did Matt, his movement and glancing header being memorable. Half time 6-1 up.
Another 4 in the second half then a late reply gave us an unusual victory. Gavin ran through and smashed one in, JB sauntered forward and picked 19 different spots before bladdering home, Mike got his fourth (forgotten it) and Darren coming on late welted a half volley home.
Our crosses this week were so so much better than last week and our energy level was inspiring.
I remember one break in the first half when Matty elected to shoot when three of our players better placed had burst guts to get into the 6 yard box. Such be the difference. Oh yes Matty missed a close one (for Steve's benefit). He leathered it.
Steve and Phil were solid as fuck in midfield making the ball do the work on that treacherous surface. Back four good and Trevor simply the best vets goalie we come across.
Dave made a cameo appearance for final 10 minutes and escaped unscathed and I simply stood on the line for 90 minutes with a flag for comfort.
Pleasant in the pub weren't those rolls simple and nutricious?
Steve completed 50 consecutive vets' games for us. Some feat and also a plaudit for the full and competitive fixture list that we have constructed.
Unfortunately not all chaps are happy with this list and some chaps will not turn out against Royston this weekend. Hope this is a pleasant one and that we win handsomely.