As the song goes ‘What a difference a day makes…’. Well…maybe a week (or a month for some of us). On the morning that England were getting soundly thrashed by the Aussies in the cricket and the Scottish Henman was being annihilated by Djokevic, the KNOBS came as one and absolutely ‘smashed it’, like Jamie Redknapp on a Thomas Cook holiday. Against a weakened MDBA mind, but smashed it all the same…this league is about strength in depth and boy, did we see ours on Sunday.
Anyway…onto the report of the game and to mis-quote Eric Morecambe, this report will have all the key points but not necessarily in the right order. But it doesn’t matter really. The joy is in the scoreline. No bouts of depression this sunny Monday morning!
With a 4-4-2 formation, as scribbled down by Ron, the game got off to a fairly even start but we were soon pressurising superbly on what has to be said, was an awful pitch. An early warning sign for MBDA came when a cross from Gavin was narrowly headed wide (or maybe it was into the keeper’s arms) by John Boyle. The first goal came after some excellent closing down from Andy on their goalkeeper. After getting the ball off the keeper, Andy whipped in a lovely cross that Gavin headed home – it was probably the third most decisive goal of the game. The second came soon after and it was a peach of the goal. Many said (I think it was John) that it was the goal of the decade. Again, pressure counted, this time from Gavin who hassled a defender and then sent in a lovely cross that John volleyed home with aplomb. Beautiful stuff. KNOBS were on fire. After this or maybe it was between the two goals, Trevor had made an excellent save in a one-on-one, although to be fair, it was redemption having given the ball away in the first place. By half time, John had missed another glorious chance from another beautiful cross from Andy and Tony had given us a rendition of the Status Quo dance on the edge of the area as he chested/handled two shots on goal. ‘Handball’ came the cry but the ref played on. ‘HANDBALL’ came a second cry (but this time a little louder) and soon a penalty was awarded. Everyone was flabbergasted but in consultation with the lino (Martin – ‘a bit of a looker’) a free-kick was given that sailed into the arms of Trevor.
At half-time, changes were made. Strength in depth showed as Martin and Mike came on for Gavin and Chris (the pivot in attack). Nice to see Bully on the sidelines supporting – a real clubman – not like those who were complaining about fees in the changing room – you should be ashamed!!! However rumour has it that you can’t change a winning side and therefore Bully might find himself warming the subs bench next week. In the second half MGMT started off with new vigour but after a corner (or something), a hesitant defended let Alistair score what proved to be THE decisive goal of the game. 3-0 and it was game over. Still…more goals came. A beauty from Mike…that’s right. A beauty from Mike! EXPERTLY finished. And a deserved goal for Andy (the second most decisive goal (as it made it 5)) who ran his socks off. Tony went into the book after hacking down one of their forwards. At the time we didn’t know if he got a yellow card or not but Chairman Al sorted it out in the pub afterwards and made sure he had. Defensively we were sound throughout, with Brendan having a barnstorming game – full of energy – playing in his unique position of left wing forward back. Chris Griffiths was a rock as always and the midfield duo of Darren and Richard were outstanding. They harassed and hurried MBCA all game and never let them rest. As we walked off the pitch victoriously, some were saying it was the best we had played in a long time. And with that result, who could disagree. Pub was well attended and the Royal Oak produced some lovely grub. The curry had extra ginger in it to give it that special ‘melt the lips’ taste. Mmmm.
A week ago, there was despair. This week, there is triumph. To finish with a quote ‘THE KNOBS ARE DEAD. LONG LIVE THE KNOBS!’
Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack
Monday 31 January 2011
Tuesday 25 January 2011
Knobs 1 Therfield 1
Cloudy day, 14 players plus a ref. Therfield had 12. I think they anticipated a heavy defeat, it didn't materialise, perhaps they played above themselves, perhaps. Perhaps Knobs were crap, yet there were some decent individual performances, some nice little moves and some misses. All in all it has to be said that the performance was simply poor in terms of man for man against this opposition. We were certainly more youthful and apart from a couple of their midfielders, fitter.
Felt in the first half hour far too much emphasis was on playing with pace and slick passing but the accuracy of the passing was poor and thus moves broke down all over the place. Far more time controlling the ball and holding things up before making more measured passes was required. By the time we slowed down and achieved more control of the football the sticky pitch and tiredness were taking their toll. Some lovely crosses, Phil's corners and Mark Mills centres went virtually uncontested. Noone's scoring goals this season. Tony played well at the back, Chris W and Darren (cut his head) were energetic in midfield.
We took the lead after a reasonable move when John Boyle smashed in from close range. They had a late equaliser from their midfield when a poor clearance was intercepted by their midfield bloke who smashed in from distance.
Hope you all enjoyed it. Good turnout at pub.
Nominations for next year's management team are coming in.
keep thinking!
Gavin's back Sunday, for a small and hopefully significant contribution.
Felt in the first half hour far too much emphasis was on playing with pace and slick passing but the accuracy of the passing was poor and thus moves broke down all over the place. Far more time controlling the ball and holding things up before making more measured passes was required. By the time we slowed down and achieved more control of the football the sticky pitch and tiredness were taking their toll. Some lovely crosses, Phil's corners and Mark Mills centres went virtually uncontested. Noone's scoring goals this season. Tony played well at the back, Chris W and Darren (cut his head) were energetic in midfield.
We took the lead after a reasonable move when John Boyle smashed in from close range. They had a late equaliser from their midfield when a poor clearance was intercepted by their midfield bloke who smashed in from distance.
Hope you all enjoyed it. Good turnout at pub.
Nominations for next year's management team are coming in.
keep thinking!
Gavin's back Sunday, for a small and hopefully significant contribution.
Monday 17 January 2011
Arrogant Twats 5 Knobs 0 - Report by Tosser Dave
A different meeting time this morning. 9.50 was suggested on the email as it was an 11 am KO. Reminder to self to read my fucking mails properly as I and Darren H were outside the Station at 9.35 wondering where the hell everyone else was. After interrupting Alistair brushing his pearly whites it was explained that we were early and to wait for the rest to turn up. We were struggling for personnel on Thursday and we had no Chris W (Ankle) no Chris G (back) no Martin (away game!) no Bully (golfers shank) no John (Hates Sandy) and no Ron (twisted knee on paper round. I recon he bottled it.), but what we did have were 13 gladiators prepared to die for the cause at any cost! Well, you would think so.
Got to the ground on time and the atmosphere in the changing room was positively bubbling. Some good banter was exchanged amongst us all. Brendan couldn’t wait to bollock Trevor before he even kicked a ball and Kenny eventually succumbed to taking the kit home. He brought his 12 seater mini bus to put the bag in. A bit over the top I thought, but everyone to their own.
The Game-:
The toss was won by me which still gives me a 100% record. I repeat a 100% record!!!! Mind you that was the only thing we won all day. It was a blustery day with the wind blowing downhill. My thoughts were to play against the wind up hill in the first half which was agreed by Mark and a few others, you know who you are! If we could get to half time 0-0 or maybe 1-0 down we would have a good chance of turning the game round in the second half. If only I took John Boyle’s advice and stayed in bed fiddling with me lid things could have been a bit different. Anyway half time came and we were 3-nil down with 2 well taken goals by their centre forwards and 1 fluky cross which thundered past a hapless Mark who didn’t do much wrong in the game. I felt we were defending too deep and should be pushing up the pitch making them shoot from distance.Needless to say both their well taken goals were dispatched within the penalty box. Half time chat was positive and we were looking forward to playing with the wind downhill. If we kept a tight shape defensively in the first 10 minutes hopefully they may lose some energy and we could exploit some of their weaknesses. 5 minutes gone and we go 4- nil down. Defensively we were all over the place. It was suggested that I move up the pitch to win a header from their goal kick which never got to me. The ball was kicked over my head which left Alistair exposed with 2 forwards one passed to the other and that’s how the goal was conceded. Note to self-: Don’t listen to any cunt on the pitch who thinks they know what they’re talking about. We nearly carved out a few chances from long throws, but they were solid at the back and we rarely threatened.
AS promised I have to mention Trevor’s attempted free kick from outside the D which was taken expertly and had their keeper running across his line at full stretch to tip the ball around the top of the post. Not bad for a bloke who enjoys his Sunday mornings bollocking 10 other men dressed in black. In fact we may have found our new Bully! Or maybe not. Their 5th was soft to say the least It came from a corner and Mark was being impeded by their forward. Alistair didn’t get in between the both and Mark had no chance of coming for ball. I have to say the Ref had a good game and didn’t do much wrong in my opinion. Full time whistle couldn’t come quicker. We looked jaded and unwilling to a degree. Darren H lost the will to live as he thought the game was “A load of bollocks” Don’t forget our conversation Darren in your car on the way to the ground about self-belief from within. It works for me every time! How was the pub? Darren A’s sat nav took us the wrong way and we ended up on the A1m towards Stevenage. Never trust Technology, that’s what I say. Home to Therfield next week. Please let papa smurf know asap. I will be available and tossing on the centre circle.
Love
Tosser Dave
Got to the ground on time and the atmosphere in the changing room was positively bubbling. Some good banter was exchanged amongst us all. Brendan couldn’t wait to bollock Trevor before he even kicked a ball and Kenny eventually succumbed to taking the kit home. He brought his 12 seater mini bus to put the bag in. A bit over the top I thought, but everyone to their own.
The Game-:
The toss was won by me which still gives me a 100% record. I repeat a 100% record!!!! Mind you that was the only thing we won all day. It was a blustery day with the wind blowing downhill. My thoughts were to play against the wind up hill in the first half which was agreed by Mark and a few others, you know who you are! If we could get to half time 0-0 or maybe 1-0 down we would have a good chance of turning the game round in the second half. If only I took John Boyle’s advice and stayed in bed fiddling with me lid things could have been a bit different. Anyway half time came and we were 3-nil down with 2 well taken goals by their centre forwards and 1 fluky cross which thundered past a hapless Mark who didn’t do much wrong in the game. I felt we were defending too deep and should be pushing up the pitch making them shoot from distance.Needless to say both their well taken goals were dispatched within the penalty box. Half time chat was positive and we were looking forward to playing with the wind downhill. If we kept a tight shape defensively in the first 10 minutes hopefully they may lose some energy and we could exploit some of their weaknesses. 5 minutes gone and we go 4- nil down. Defensively we were all over the place. It was suggested that I move up the pitch to win a header from their goal kick which never got to me. The ball was kicked over my head which left Alistair exposed with 2 forwards one passed to the other and that’s how the goal was conceded. Note to self-: Don’t listen to any cunt on the pitch who thinks they know what they’re talking about. We nearly carved out a few chances from long throws, but they were solid at the back and we rarely threatened.
AS promised I have to mention Trevor’s attempted free kick from outside the D which was taken expertly and had their keeper running across his line at full stretch to tip the ball around the top of the post. Not bad for a bloke who enjoys his Sunday mornings bollocking 10 other men dressed in black. In fact we may have found our new Bully! Or maybe not. Their 5th was soft to say the least It came from a corner and Mark was being impeded by their forward. Alistair didn’t get in between the both and Mark had no chance of coming for ball. I have to say the Ref had a good game and didn’t do much wrong in my opinion. Full time whistle couldn’t come quicker. We looked jaded and unwilling to a degree. Darren H lost the will to live as he thought the game was “A load of bollocks” Don’t forget our conversation Darren in your car on the way to the ground about self-belief from within. It works for me every time! How was the pub? Darren A’s sat nav took us the wrong way and we ended up on the A1m towards Stevenage. Never trust Technology, that’s what I say. Home to Therfield next week. Please let papa smurf know asap. I will be available and tossing on the centre circle.
Love
Tosser Dave
Monday 10 January 2011
Knobs 1 Harpenden Rovers 3
Competitive, good natured game well refereed by Chris Griffiths.
A frost covered pitch in the first half gave way to a heavy gluepot in the second.
In the first half, kicking up after Dave had won the toss, we were very competitive and energetic and were well worthy of our 1-0 lead. This came courtesy of an energetic piece of harrying by Andy which saw him finally win the ball and slap it home. Did Steve then hit the bar?
Well done, competing for the right to play on that surface the prime target.
Second half our fitness levels showed and we never achieved the pleasing shape of the first half. Any attacks we mounted were sporadic, with our players often finding themselves in less than splendid isolation. We were stretched going forward though remained fairly compact defensively, mainly because we couldn't get bodies willing and able to go forward. An unlucky equaliser followed on the hour. Unlucky in that the winger seemed to have carried the ball out of play before crossing for the goal. The linesman (me) far away on the other side and not in line could not be definite so a goal stood. The second goal was well worked after we were robbed in possession going forward, Mark left stranded? and the third came from the full back's chip - misses 999 times out of a thousand. Who perpetrated the travesty of a scissor kick clearance? Own up.
Our two best attempts came from solo efforts from Andy. First when he ran through their team with the ball, from just outside our area but allowed the keeper to save his shot- straight at him- great run. That would have been 2-0.
A diagonal 40 yard ball from M. Fish was exploited by Andy but he screwed his shot just wide of the post- 3-0. Electric efforts nevertheless. They just kept plodding on with consistency but we might simply have ran out of puff- they used their 4 substitutes continually, their stints on the sidelines never stiffening them up, so they seemingly had fresh legs. In the interests of cohesion, flow, old fashioned principle and a belief that old men coming off then going back on stiffen up badly, I can never bring myslf to go for roll off and on. Am I wrong?
Possibly, probably not, doubt it. Fuck off anyway. Chris Cox took the kit. Others be prepared we know who you are!
Poor opposition attendance in the pub where they missed the Knebworthian culinary innovation of cheese on chips accompanied by a rather smokily suffocating BBQ sauce- a racy little number. Chloresterol to die for.
Next week that attractive away fixture against our bosom pals Sandy- line up you masochists.
A frost covered pitch in the first half gave way to a heavy gluepot in the second.
In the first half, kicking up after Dave had won the toss, we were very competitive and energetic and were well worthy of our 1-0 lead. This came courtesy of an energetic piece of harrying by Andy which saw him finally win the ball and slap it home. Did Steve then hit the bar?
Well done, competing for the right to play on that surface the prime target.
Second half our fitness levels showed and we never achieved the pleasing shape of the first half. Any attacks we mounted were sporadic, with our players often finding themselves in less than splendid isolation. We were stretched going forward though remained fairly compact defensively, mainly because we couldn't get bodies willing and able to go forward. An unlucky equaliser followed on the hour. Unlucky in that the winger seemed to have carried the ball out of play before crossing for the goal. The linesman (me) far away on the other side and not in line could not be definite so a goal stood. The second goal was well worked after we were robbed in possession going forward, Mark left stranded? and the third came from the full back's chip - misses 999 times out of a thousand. Who perpetrated the travesty of a scissor kick clearance? Own up.
Our two best attempts came from solo efforts from Andy. First when he ran through their team with the ball, from just outside our area but allowed the keeper to save his shot- straight at him- great run. That would have been 2-0.
A diagonal 40 yard ball from M. Fish was exploited by Andy but he screwed his shot just wide of the post- 3-0. Electric efforts nevertheless. They just kept plodding on with consistency but we might simply have ran out of puff- they used their 4 substitutes continually, their stints on the sidelines never stiffening them up, so they seemingly had fresh legs. In the interests of cohesion, flow, old fashioned principle and a belief that old men coming off then going back on stiffen up badly, I can never bring myslf to go for roll off and on. Am I wrong?
Possibly, probably not, doubt it. Fuck off anyway. Chris Cox took the kit. Others be prepared we know who you are!
Poor opposition attendance in the pub where they missed the Knebworthian culinary innovation of cheese on chips accompanied by a rather smokily suffocating BBQ sauce- a racy little number. Chloresterol to die for.
Next week that attractive away fixture against our bosom pals Sandy- line up you masochists.
Monday 3 January 2011
Knobs 3 Litlington 2
Happy 2011 folks!
Football resumed after what seemed ages on a gluey pitch. I thought the vibes were shite by the way. Come on lighten up it's a privilege to be able to play a game of football in your dotage. Take a leaf out of John Boyle's book- happy- go- lucky. One of our best players and generous in his approach to participation- a sharer. Well as I approach my last couple of months 'in charge' I will be looking for a little bit of that joi de vivre and sense of community which makes this team game a joy to be part of. Impossible for some I know. Strangely the last game v Old Owens was a different world- camaraderie- but yeah that was in anticipation of the Christmas and New Year festivities- has it all so jaded the spirit?
They should have scored many but their shooting albeit from distance - was shite. They could have been out of sight first half. On the other hand I know we were efficiently methodical first half and until Martin limped off we were able to attempt to advance with our strengths- passing- not running like bad wind chasing hopeless punts- several of us- not only me- can't. Our half time lead came from an unrepeatable (probably) flying volley from Dave from the skimpiest of angles. Nice one you've scored.
John Twigg took the gloves and was almost our man of the match. He saved everything hit at him. OK he spilled most of them but woke up enough to pick up the second ball. Well played John, and he looked somewhat resuscitated in the pub afterwards I was pleased to see. Mind that Abbots Reserve was 6.5%! Their keeper deserves a mention he saved several one on ones.
It was with pleasure that we saw Matt take to the field for the second half -welcome back and many happy returns.
Phil Wheeler made his debut at last - what a touch player some lovely passes and a nice little bit of patience before he smacked in our (deflected) second goal.
Later, Steve to him and his chip over was a class bit of the game presaging good things to come in future games. They hit a good shot to reduce the deficit- John had no chance. Though they competed vigorously they weren't quite the threat they were, first half. Our third came from the unerring boot of Mark Mills- who had kindly reffed the first half. Someone was said to be interfering with play- at that stage I couldn't remember anyone interfering with anything.
A melee, with two shots blocked on the line, ended with Tony (good match at the back) saving on the line with both hands (I see he might be our latest reserve keeper). I sent him off to an early lock in the lavatory. That man took his dismissal and left like a man. We played out the game with 10 men since two our of our subs had fucked off yem- one injured and one... cold I suppose! Oh yes the ensuing penalty was sent sky high- I think John was organising a running wall as half our team pursued the penalty taker into the area but they scored the awarded retaken kick.
Next week home to leaders Harpenden Rovers- my best team- if they turn up and if they play to strengths:
Trevor: Darren A, Alistair, Chris G, Dave: John B, Steve, Chris W, Richard:
Chris C, Gavin. Well we've all got our opinions please share yours and let's have a debate as to what constitutes our best team up front, not behind closed pub doors- and what makes a good vet.
Ronnie O- I have calculated that with Sunday's game that was the 59th year I have had the pleasure of putting on my kit and having a game- it was fucking great. Roll on 2012!
Football resumed after what seemed ages on a gluey pitch. I thought the vibes were shite by the way. Come on lighten up it's a privilege to be able to play a game of football in your dotage. Take a leaf out of John Boyle's book- happy- go- lucky. One of our best players and generous in his approach to participation- a sharer. Well as I approach my last couple of months 'in charge' I will be looking for a little bit of that joi de vivre and sense of community which makes this team game a joy to be part of. Impossible for some I know. Strangely the last game v Old Owens was a different world- camaraderie- but yeah that was in anticipation of the Christmas and New Year festivities- has it all so jaded the spirit?
They should have scored many but their shooting albeit from distance - was shite. They could have been out of sight first half. On the other hand I know we were efficiently methodical first half and until Martin limped off we were able to attempt to advance with our strengths- passing- not running like bad wind chasing hopeless punts- several of us- not only me- can't. Our half time lead came from an unrepeatable (probably) flying volley from Dave from the skimpiest of angles. Nice one you've scored.
John Twigg took the gloves and was almost our man of the match. He saved everything hit at him. OK he spilled most of them but woke up enough to pick up the second ball. Well played John, and he looked somewhat resuscitated in the pub afterwards I was pleased to see. Mind that Abbots Reserve was 6.5%! Their keeper deserves a mention he saved several one on ones.
It was with pleasure that we saw Matt take to the field for the second half -welcome back and many happy returns.
Phil Wheeler made his debut at last - what a touch player some lovely passes and a nice little bit of patience before he smacked in our (deflected) second goal.
Later, Steve to him and his chip over was a class bit of the game presaging good things to come in future games. They hit a good shot to reduce the deficit- John had no chance. Though they competed vigorously they weren't quite the threat they were, first half. Our third came from the unerring boot of Mark Mills- who had kindly reffed the first half. Someone was said to be interfering with play- at that stage I couldn't remember anyone interfering with anything.
A melee, with two shots blocked on the line, ended with Tony (good match at the back) saving on the line with both hands (I see he might be our latest reserve keeper). I sent him off to an early lock in the lavatory. That man took his dismissal and left like a man. We played out the game with 10 men since two our of our subs had fucked off yem- one injured and one... cold I suppose! Oh yes the ensuing penalty was sent sky high- I think John was organising a running wall as half our team pursued the penalty taker into the area but they scored the awarded retaken kick.
Next week home to leaders Harpenden Rovers- my best team- if they turn up and if they play to strengths:
Trevor: Darren A, Alistair, Chris G, Dave: John B, Steve, Chris W, Richard:
Chris C, Gavin. Well we've all got our opinions please share yours and let's have a debate as to what constitutes our best team up front, not behind closed pub doors- and what makes a good vet.
Ronnie O- I have calculated that with Sunday's game that was the 59th year I have had the pleasure of putting on my kit and having a game- it was fucking great. Roll on 2012!
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