Back to winning ways. Denial of advanced senility and geriatric forebodings marked this festive feast as two teams battled against Time's devious encroachments. Is it time to give in for some of us? "I fear so", he rambled incoherently, "you can only rage against the dying light for so long before you are irradiated".
Nuff said about my personal decline.
Dave following up his 'tea debacle' of last week, came armed with a pan and fuck all else so the mulled wine was a non starter. Well the wine is an integral ingredient of such an occasion.
Goals came from Matt (2), Ron, John, Bill and Dave and theirs came from Phil!
Misses with only the goalie to beat came from.... well let's not go down that sad road.
The opposition had been out warming up before Chris Wilson was even out of bed, a throw back policy that, much spurned by modern vets, the warm up that is. Dave continued his falling over repertoire, to general amusement before smacking the cross bar with a tidy effort. Offsides were abundant as the opposition played a flat back line but the frailty of such a policy showed in the number of times the trap was evaded with sometimes positive results and not a little controversy. You can't expect to get 100% decisions in your favour over 90 minutes.
The fourth goal was a particularly nice move ending with a Boyle headed goal. Bill showed how to approach an open goal firing over the keeper from 25 yards, not many of us can kick it that high.
A good spirit prevailed and it was nice to come up against former Knobs Jon Jay and Mark, who realise what they are not missing. (Big Bob is moving back to Stevenage and will be searching for a new club- get your ear muffs ready).
Team today was Phil, Kenny, Chris, Brendan, Bill, Dave, Steve B, Chris W, Ron and Matt. Tom, son of Bill came on as sub as did Tony, friend of Steve. M. Mills had flu again as did Martin. Martin's son told me that Martin's flu turned out to be a sore throat precipitated by a crumb being stuck in his throat. Out injured, 'crumb stuck in throat'- imagine if it was a Trussells!
A fair crowd in pub afterwards, entertained by Mark Vasey's tricks. Some little boozing and promises to reform. 2008 just round the corner, I wish you all a good one and no pissing against trees!
Rambling Ron
Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack
Monday 31 December 2007
Wednesday 26 December 2007
Knobs 0 Walkern 2
Wye lad a live, wi lost a local derby that wi should o won. First they were aader than us by a generation. But thi had a couple o shots an scored. We woz lyke thi raggy arse rovers gettin worse as thi gyem wore on. Still there were some amusing moments and some good signs noo n then. Nick contributed in a lively fashion n was unlucky not to notch. Debbie failed to produce the tea, he brought some teabags but they're very unappetising without hot water, sugar and a birro milk. Nor was the mulled wine forthcoming and finally his football contribution resembled also something without the necessary ingredients. He's big enough to take it and take it he did. Watch that boy bounce back when he's evacuated his recent carbohydrate stodge. Whatever any of yiz dae keep off the tattie diet ower Christmas. Nowt else ti say aboot the gyem. Frost gave way ti clarts, we gave way to a second successive defeat and adjourned to the pub. A merry little drink ensued. Oh aye Mark nicked off early, fair enough a thought but then there was a heap of of shite covered kit that he forgot to tek wirrim. Thanks to John's mam Nancy for having it washed and ironed by Christmas Eve!
The Station is well on its way to being the first self service pub with a trust box but somehow some drink flowed. Award for last man sitting seems to go to M. Boyle with Steve as companion leaving for the curry house at 6.30. A wer akip well before then afront a roarin fire.
This week a seasonal one-off against Knebworth Dads and Coaches. 10.30 ko at the Rec.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all.
Rudolf
The Station is well on its way to being the first self service pub with a trust box but somehow some drink flowed. Award for last man sitting seems to go to M. Boyle with Steve as companion leaving for the curry house at 6.30. A wer akip well before then afront a roarin fire.
This week a seasonal one-off against Knebworth Dads and Coaches. 10.30 ko at the Rec.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all.
Rudolf
Monday 17 December 2007
Standon 4 Knobs 1
I felt it from the outset, but I hope we all enjoyed the morning out. A game is about pitting wits and strength against an opposition and hopefully winning, well we didn't win and more importantly we lacked wit and strength to compete against what to my mind is a rather agricultural opposition. Highly unenjoyable in all respects.
Chris was late and we started competently against a physical opposition. Shortly from a flighted Steve free kick an alert Matt put us ahead. All to the good for a while. They wriggled free and scored from a lovely flighted chip from their young man- mountain centre forward and then Chris was brought on. In match flow they were not really threatening until a speculative shot from some little distance fell from Trevor's grasp- hero one week villain the next- it would probably have gone over my head!
For the next 40 minutes the match was in the balance till they grabbed 2 goals later on. But really, in the intervening time, we didn't feel as if we wanted or could turn things round.
Why? Simple- lack of playing time together of the players on show today plus a drop in effort and will among the more regular players. No names to be mentioned. But we're better than that, if not jack in while yer ahead.
Several players unavailable such as M. Boyle, Gavin, Chris G and Paul, and injured such as Mark M, Martin, Phil led us to the side we had out. Yet if we are to adhere to the principle of giving everyone a game we are gonna have to get used to playing in a system using players who are better, fitter, less fit and old to compete against sides. Not an impossible situation. You hear a lot of shit talked about these bloody foreigners viz. Ramos and Capelli struggling to speak English therefore unable to properly transmit ideas to their charges but I would have thought that is a distinct advantage in the simple game of football- instead of psycho gobbledy gook from the likes of Hoddle and mangled English from the likes of Wilkinson (I used to be a teacher- by the way yi talk like a fuckin crap one) - you can plan the game in the simplest possible terms. For example, yesterday one simple thing we didn,t do was play as a unit. I watched most of the game from the side and I could see no physical togetherness, isolated challenges with no back up for loose balls and isolated attacks, leave it to 2 players to do something with noone busting a gut to get up in support and a wholesale lack of anticipation all around the pitch to situations which might and did occur. Now it could be that all these things were a temporary blip due to Christmas excesses and lack of desire on the day but that's how we lost. A group of individuals on a football match, oh ghee whiz I'm playing a game that I love, but lacking energy application and that necessary extra interest.
Tactically 4-2-4; it's simple, we defend narrow and attack with width. We didn't do it. We attacked with width alright, in the sense that people were already wide and non involved from the opposition's initial attack, but when they subsequently attacked we were far too wide. Far far too wide.
TUCK IN. Get behind the opposition and make it difficult for the opposition to compete and create in the penalty area. Bodies in the box. After all someone coming from wide, in our standard, is gonna be confronted with our bodies in the vital area and requiring something special from their bodies (probably outnumbered) to snatch a goal. Again, after all, how many goals do teams concede from corners. Anyway the ultimate spectacle was one of isolated pockets of Knobs and no togetherness, particularly relevant for their final 2 goals. Nowt to do with individual ability and fitness on our part. We must, to thrive in old age, be more cute or else we'll be depressed on our way home.
One incident to highlight our lack of togetherness was the incident with Steve Bull when he got his bollocks stamped on- I saw the scar. He was on the ground struggling to retrieve the ball for what seemed an eternity and not one player moved to his side to assist him. When he ultimately lost his battle and hooked the player's foot to foul him (slightly and harmlessly) he was stamped on on the ground by the offended sheepshagger. Plenty rushed forward then to break up the handbags that ensued but to my mind that was a reaction too little too late. TOGETHERNESS.
Width in attack and narrowness in defence. Talking sensibly to each to effect this and listening and reacting to the talk. I supposose we were just not at the races yesterday. I enjoyed the rest of the day mind.
Five of us sampled, to my mind, the best away grub of this season, and last, at the pub, chilli and rice- remember this fixture next year. Oh and yes let's beat them at our place in March.
Next week I would like us to win at home to Old Owens and I would like as many players to participate as possible. Some hope you might think. So what.
On the 30th of December we have a game at the Rec against the coaches and Dads of the youth team and those of us not wandering off to leave a huge carbon footprint on the planet might enjoy a run aroud to ease the Christmas excesses before the New Years Eve refuelling.
Ron
Chris was late and we started competently against a physical opposition. Shortly from a flighted Steve free kick an alert Matt put us ahead. All to the good for a while. They wriggled free and scored from a lovely flighted chip from their young man- mountain centre forward and then Chris was brought on. In match flow they were not really threatening until a speculative shot from some little distance fell from Trevor's grasp- hero one week villain the next- it would probably have gone over my head!
For the next 40 minutes the match was in the balance till they grabbed 2 goals later on. But really, in the intervening time, we didn't feel as if we wanted or could turn things round.
Why? Simple- lack of playing time together of the players on show today plus a drop in effort and will among the more regular players. No names to be mentioned. But we're better than that, if not jack in while yer ahead.
Several players unavailable such as M. Boyle, Gavin, Chris G and Paul, and injured such as Mark M, Martin, Phil led us to the side we had out. Yet if we are to adhere to the principle of giving everyone a game we are gonna have to get used to playing in a system using players who are better, fitter, less fit and old to compete against sides. Not an impossible situation. You hear a lot of shit talked about these bloody foreigners viz. Ramos and Capelli struggling to speak English therefore unable to properly transmit ideas to their charges but I would have thought that is a distinct advantage in the simple game of football- instead of psycho gobbledy gook from the likes of Hoddle and mangled English from the likes of Wilkinson (I used to be a teacher- by the way yi talk like a fuckin crap one) - you can plan the game in the simplest possible terms. For example, yesterday one simple thing we didn,t do was play as a unit. I watched most of the game from the side and I could see no physical togetherness, isolated challenges with no back up for loose balls and isolated attacks, leave it to 2 players to do something with noone busting a gut to get up in support and a wholesale lack of anticipation all around the pitch to situations which might and did occur. Now it could be that all these things were a temporary blip due to Christmas excesses and lack of desire on the day but that's how we lost. A group of individuals on a football match, oh ghee whiz I'm playing a game that I love, but lacking energy application and that necessary extra interest.
Tactically 4-2-4; it's simple, we defend narrow and attack with width. We didn't do it. We attacked with width alright, in the sense that people were already wide and non involved from the opposition's initial attack, but when they subsequently attacked we were far too wide. Far far too wide.
TUCK IN. Get behind the opposition and make it difficult for the opposition to compete and create in the penalty area. Bodies in the box. After all someone coming from wide, in our standard, is gonna be confronted with our bodies in the vital area and requiring something special from their bodies (probably outnumbered) to snatch a goal. Again, after all, how many goals do teams concede from corners. Anyway the ultimate spectacle was one of isolated pockets of Knobs and no togetherness, particularly relevant for their final 2 goals. Nowt to do with individual ability and fitness on our part. We must, to thrive in old age, be more cute or else we'll be depressed on our way home.
One incident to highlight our lack of togetherness was the incident with Steve Bull when he got his bollocks stamped on- I saw the scar. He was on the ground struggling to retrieve the ball for what seemed an eternity and not one player moved to his side to assist him. When he ultimately lost his battle and hooked the player's foot to foul him (slightly and harmlessly) he was stamped on on the ground by the offended sheepshagger. Plenty rushed forward then to break up the handbags that ensued but to my mind that was a reaction too little too late. TOGETHERNESS.
Width in attack and narrowness in defence. Talking sensibly to each to effect this and listening and reacting to the talk. I supposose we were just not at the races yesterday. I enjoyed the rest of the day mind.
Five of us sampled, to my mind, the best away grub of this season, and last, at the pub, chilli and rice- remember this fixture next year. Oh and yes let's beat them at our place in March.
Next week I would like us to win at home to Old Owens and I would like as many players to participate as possible. Some hope you might think. So what.
On the 30th of December we have a game at the Rec against the coaches and Dads of the youth team and those of us not wandering off to leave a huge carbon footprint on the planet might enjoy a run aroud to ease the Christmas excesses before the New Years Eve refuelling.
Ron
Friday 14 December 2007
Committee Meeting Statement
A committee meeting took place on Thursday evening in The Station Hotel and the following statement has been issued on behalf of the club:
Following feedback from various members of the club regarding playing opportunities, the committee have agreed the following selection policy:-
League Games
The strongest available team will be selected with a maximum of 3 substitutes who will be used as seen appropriate to winning the match.
Friendly Games
A nucleus of players who are available for all matches will be selected with the balance being selected from the other playing members on a rotational basis. The intention being that all playing members are offered an opportunity to play.
After the meeting Ron was heard to comment “I was really happy with the outcome of the meeting and especially grateful to being given a vote of confidence from my fellow committee members. I have always loved this club and always will, I can categorically say that I never wanted nor applied for the post of England manager. I would especially like to thank Bill and Clarence for the support and comfort they have provided throughout this difficult time. We can all now move on and personally I am feeling invigorated and full of optimism for the festive period ahead. I would also......”
Following feedback from various members of the club regarding playing opportunities, the committee have agreed the following selection policy:-
League Games
The strongest available team will be selected with a maximum of 3 substitutes who will be used as seen appropriate to winning the match.
Friendly Games
A nucleus of players who are available for all matches will be selected with the balance being selected from the other playing members on a rotational basis. The intention being that all playing members are offered an opportunity to play.
After the meeting Ron was heard to comment “I was really happy with the outcome of the meeting and especially grateful to being given a vote of confidence from my fellow committee members. I have always loved this club and always will, I can categorically say that I never wanted nor applied for the post of England manager. I would especially like to thank Bill and Clarence for the support and comfort they have provided throughout this difficult time. We can all now move on and personally I am feeling invigorated and full of optimism for the festive period ahead. I would also......”
Sunday 9 December 2007
Knobs 2 Ware 1- League
The pitch won- very heavy, folk sliding into improbable often dangerous tackles, injuries, fortunately were few. Martin did a hamstring and poor old Mark pulled a muscle as linesman in the first half.
They had a few threatening corners, early on, before going ahead with a bit of a close range fluke. We immediately equalised through a Steve Bull penalty. Contested- by them. Not the illegitimacy of the life threatening dangerous foul from behind on Richard as he was running in to score- oh no- it was whether the assassination attempt took place 2 centimetres outside the area, hence no penalty. In the context of a vet's game the "tackle" had no place. I can appreciate, just, professionals committing such fouls then arguing it was on the edge of the area, but vets? Having seen red and acting as he did, their bonehead should have taken himself off and simply awarded us a goal as an act of pennance. Anyway I consulted the linesman , who was up with play, and he confirmed the offence to have taken place a yard inside the area.
Second half saw an immediate power run from Chris Wilson, who squared to Matt, who made no mistake from 8 yards. They hardly threatened after that but we missed a few. Some daft tackles and a free for all (noone dead) and we limped off winners.
Unlike the bonhomie of last year, none of them showed at the pub- ah well pathetic, huh!
I suggest our participation in the league ends this year, then whoever takes over to run the team, next year, will be able to resort to the pin, the hat and the hows your father to get 11 men out each Sunday and not have to be concerned about whether we are strong enough to compete and challenge young, muscular or cheating sides.
I apologise to those who have been left out since the start of the season because of my unilateral decision to try and run a team competitively. (Explained). We all have different opinions as to what should constitute the correct selection policy. I start from two basic principles and try to work through them.
1. Regular availablity
2. Ability.
All else is in the realms of micky mousedom.
Anyway I suggest a Committee meeting is urgently called to consider team selection and its principles or lack of them to be in place for the rest of the season.
Yours
The Chastened One
I reckon Trevor was MoM yesterday, nary an error and good calling of the game.
2.
They had a few threatening corners, early on, before going ahead with a bit of a close range fluke. We immediately equalised through a Steve Bull penalty. Contested- by them. Not the illegitimacy of the life threatening dangerous foul from behind on Richard as he was running in to score- oh no- it was whether the assassination attempt took place 2 centimetres outside the area, hence no penalty. In the context of a vet's game the "tackle" had no place. I can appreciate, just, professionals committing such fouls then arguing it was on the edge of the area, but vets? Having seen red and acting as he did, their bonehead should have taken himself off and simply awarded us a goal as an act of pennance. Anyway I consulted the linesman , who was up with play, and he confirmed the offence to have taken place a yard inside the area.
Second half saw an immediate power run from Chris Wilson, who squared to Matt, who made no mistake from 8 yards. They hardly threatened after that but we missed a few. Some daft tackles and a free for all (noone dead) and we limped off winners.
Unlike the bonhomie of last year, none of them showed at the pub- ah well pathetic, huh!
I suggest our participation in the league ends this year, then whoever takes over to run the team, next year, will be able to resort to the pin, the hat and the hows your father to get 11 men out each Sunday and not have to be concerned about whether we are strong enough to compete and challenge young, muscular or cheating sides.
I apologise to those who have been left out since the start of the season because of my unilateral decision to try and run a team competitively. (Explained). We all have different opinions as to what should constitute the correct selection policy. I start from two basic principles and try to work through them.
1. Regular availablity
2. Ability.
All else is in the realms of micky mousedom.
Anyway I suggest a Committee meeting is urgently called to consider team selection and its principles or lack of them to be in place for the rest of the season.
Yours
The Chastened One
I reckon Trevor was MoM yesterday, nary an error and good calling of the game.
2.
Monday 3 December 2007
St Helens 1 Knobs 5
A canny little result against the team presumed the league leaders.
Worra day, wind, rain and the sloping mudheap that is Westminster Lodge pitch 1. A quiet start as we awaited the slow arrival of the opposition. We lounged round in the rain as they prevaricated but eventually some semblance of a match was commenced 25 minutes late as they arrived in dribs and invariably drabs. We were getting really cauld an it werra a bit ov a piss take really.
We started as we finished, playing all the football and attacking incessantly, the pitch being the only reason that we didn't reach double figures. Oh yes that and a number of misses and misfortunes. A lead from a penalty, for a handball , converted by M. Bull was more than we deserved. An entertaining striptease took place on the sidelines where three geriatrics seemed to be helbent on exchanging various articles of their clothing, revealing some disgusting bits of ageing anatomy in the process, so that they could equip one of their number with the necessary kit to come on as sub. Henceforth Gavin was faced with a dead ringer of Del Boy's Uncle Albert facing him. They equalised following in a freekick to hammer in from close range.
Then a fine run by Gavin saw the ball fall to the unerring Mark Mills who fired high into the net from 22 yards. 2-1.
Second half could have seen us score loads, we managed three. Old Ron, yes he was playing, Chris had a virus and Mike Lisle dropped out on the day, that's why, anyway a well worked move out left saw Phil send a soaring cross to the far post where it was duly butted home, it felt fuckin grand! 3-1.
Crap followed, a dive by pom pom head saw their referee give a penalty. It was said Trev, many of us disagreed, but all agreed whatever contact there was nae need for the somersault and double pike with 60 degrees of difficulty. After the feuding had died down, they hit the bar and our appeals for encroaching were quickly muffled as we broke away.
Number 4 was a slow motion advance through the mud to where Gavin re-arranging his feet twice squeezed the ball in. The fifth was an excellent move from the left, a cross to the far post where Gavin smashed home from a tight angle. 5-1.
One or two little brouhahas developed from time to time, but disappointingly the handbag contest outside the dressing room between our Steve, 6 foot 1, and their Paddy, 1 foot 6, was postponed due to either inclement weather or amnesia. Well we gained revenge for our unfortunate 3-2 defeat to this young side earlier in the season.
We adjourned to a sausageless Station where we thoughtfully watched a reformed John Boyle drink orange juice and lemonade. Is this the end of an era?
It was nice seeing all those who turned out at the previous Friday's crawl, sorry Dave a hope yi not bitter. Me faither aalwiz said yi nivvor torn doon vinegar wi yer chips. Aal yi needed were some chips really. I'll make it up to you, somehow........
Cheers
Plonker
Worra day, wind, rain and the sloping mudheap that is Westminster Lodge pitch 1. A quiet start as we awaited the slow arrival of the opposition. We lounged round in the rain as they prevaricated but eventually some semblance of a match was commenced 25 minutes late as they arrived in dribs and invariably drabs. We were getting really cauld an it werra a bit ov a piss take really.
We started as we finished, playing all the football and attacking incessantly, the pitch being the only reason that we didn't reach double figures. Oh yes that and a number of misses and misfortunes. A lead from a penalty, for a handball , converted by M. Bull was more than we deserved. An entertaining striptease took place on the sidelines where three geriatrics seemed to be helbent on exchanging various articles of their clothing, revealing some disgusting bits of ageing anatomy in the process, so that they could equip one of their number with the necessary kit to come on as sub. Henceforth Gavin was faced with a dead ringer of Del Boy's Uncle Albert facing him. They equalised following in a freekick to hammer in from close range.
Then a fine run by Gavin saw the ball fall to the unerring Mark Mills who fired high into the net from 22 yards. 2-1.
Second half could have seen us score loads, we managed three. Old Ron, yes he was playing, Chris had a virus and Mike Lisle dropped out on the day, that's why, anyway a well worked move out left saw Phil send a soaring cross to the far post where it was duly butted home, it felt fuckin grand! 3-1.
Crap followed, a dive by pom pom head saw their referee give a penalty. It was said Trev, many of us disagreed, but all agreed whatever contact there was nae need for the somersault and double pike with 60 degrees of difficulty. After the feuding had died down, they hit the bar and our appeals for encroaching were quickly muffled as we broke away.
Number 4 was a slow motion advance through the mud to where Gavin re-arranging his feet twice squeezed the ball in. The fifth was an excellent move from the left, a cross to the far post where Gavin smashed home from a tight angle. 5-1.
One or two little brouhahas developed from time to time, but disappointingly the handbag contest outside the dressing room between our Steve, 6 foot 1, and their Paddy, 1 foot 6, was postponed due to either inclement weather or amnesia. Well we gained revenge for our unfortunate 3-2 defeat to this young side earlier in the season.
We adjourned to a sausageless Station where we thoughtfully watched a reformed John Boyle drink orange juice and lemonade. Is this the end of an era?
It was nice seeing all those who turned out at the previous Friday's crawl, sorry Dave a hope yi not bitter. Me faither aalwiz said yi nivvor torn doon vinegar wi yer chips. Aal yi needed were some chips really. I'll make it up to you, somehow........
Cheers
Plonker
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