Sour grapes, nay not at all. Tis the season of good cheer and..... other bits and bobs. Blah, blah..
A frosty morning, big turnout, especially the crowd, bigger than Knebworth Seniors!
Old men were outrun and outplayed by a side that used on-off subs frequently and cruelly. We, ancients, were not that well off for personnel and could not compete. Average age of Knobs, by the way, FORTY SIX (46). Just so yi knaa! Some of the opposition, if they were Dads had been shaggin in the cradle. But hey, no excuses we were beaten by a better and a younger team. Easter a return.
They led through a dozily defended goal tapped in from close range as the left side of our defence was caught inside out! We should have equalised but for a bizarre offside. A ball played into the six yard box in front of an open goal, our man coming in from behind it is surely onside. I should have shot meself and avoided the ambiguity. Anyway the equaliser came shortly afterwards from a cunning John Boyle toe poke from the narrowest of angles that nutmegged the keeper.
Second half Matt went off to watch Arsenal and we rarely threatened did Arsenal?. Indeed it was somewhat of a feat if we managed to clear our lines more than five yards.
A little bit argy bargy mentioning no names brought the year to an end with a defeat.
Both teams adjourned, in Christmas spirit, to different pubs but JB and I adjourned to the Station late on to mend the breach and listen to perfect strangers agog at the news of Phil's second half winning goal- an undefended free kick that sailed in untouched by all and sundry. We claimed it was indirect!!!! Did we fuck.
See you in the Newe Year.
Fair wind to your arses!
Grandad Ron
Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack
Monday 29 December 2008
Tuesday 23 December 2008
Garston 2 Knobs 0
Garston are consistent this season scored twice against us in both games! We could not replicate the eleven in the first game, in fact failed to notch therefore lost.
The history of this game is yi nivvor knaa what side they're ganna field. Their eleven, despite our battling performance, was too good for the side we fielded. With no Matty, Chris W, Chris G, Gavin and even Mark and solid John T we were turning out with a bare 11, including Phil who, returning from bad injury and only wanted part of a game.
The weather was balmy and the pitch was firm and immaculate. John B and Brendan bravely turned out depite being in the thrall of flu. After twenty minutes we lost Paul with a ruptured muscle, someone seemingly shot him, doon he went then off where he lay prone, comatose, unloved and ignored till half time. Just like home he mused. We proceeded to the end with 10 men, the promise of one of their players never materialising!
Half time 0-0, not bad but ominous. Martin raced to the faraway dressing rooms to retrieve our creative force's inhaler. Only Martin had the legs to do that and play a second half.
They scored from an error, then we could have equalised when Brendan , turning a blind eye, a deaf ear and a wooden leg to a call from someone called "Ron"? headed over the bar. I bear no grudges, I see no ships... etc.
They scored an excellent second goal from which there was no return.
Oh good refereeing, especially in the first minute when Roy, on the deck, after a tackle was kicked by their gigantic number nine. The referee dealt with the ensuing fight fairly. They said their player was not that sort and I privately thought we're all that sort!
A group of us dealt with the sarnies and crap mince pies afterwards had a quiet drink and went quietly if a little disappointedly homewards.
Watched Newcastle on Iraqgoals beat Spurs. Phoned the ailing John to gloat but he'd ventured out to seek food with the score 1-1. Duff's winner in the 90th minute must have been a bit of choker when he returned.
I'm away to hillwalk in the Brecons so next week's missive comes from the torrid pen of John "where's the bar" Boyle.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to one and all, well almost one and all, not that maniac from Goldings and perhaps not Carlos and perhaps not............
The history of this game is yi nivvor knaa what side they're ganna field. Their eleven, despite our battling performance, was too good for the side we fielded. With no Matty, Chris W, Chris G, Gavin and even Mark and solid John T we were turning out with a bare 11, including Phil who, returning from bad injury and only wanted part of a game.
The weather was balmy and the pitch was firm and immaculate. John B and Brendan bravely turned out depite being in the thrall of flu. After twenty minutes we lost Paul with a ruptured muscle, someone seemingly shot him, doon he went then off where he lay prone, comatose, unloved and ignored till half time. Just like home he mused. We proceeded to the end with 10 men, the promise of one of their players never materialising!
Half time 0-0, not bad but ominous. Martin raced to the faraway dressing rooms to retrieve our creative force's inhaler. Only Martin had the legs to do that and play a second half.
They scored from an error, then we could have equalised when Brendan , turning a blind eye, a deaf ear and a wooden leg to a call from someone called "Ron"? headed over the bar. I bear no grudges, I see no ships... etc.
They scored an excellent second goal from which there was no return.
Oh good refereeing, especially in the first minute when Roy, on the deck, after a tackle was kicked by their gigantic number nine. The referee dealt with the ensuing fight fairly. They said their player was not that sort and I privately thought we're all that sort!
A group of us dealt with the sarnies and crap mince pies afterwards had a quiet drink and went quietly if a little disappointedly homewards.
Watched Newcastle on Iraqgoals beat Spurs. Phoned the ailing John to gloat but he'd ventured out to seek food with the score 1-1. Duff's winner in the 90th minute must have been a bit of choker when he returned.
I'm away to hillwalk in the Brecons so next week's missive comes from the torrid pen of John "where's the bar" Boyle.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to one and all, well almost one and all, not that maniac from Goldings and perhaps not Carlos and perhaps not............
Tuesday 16 December 2008
Knobs away at Standon
Match off due to waterlogged pitch.
Next Sunday's game off due to Garston being in a Herts Vets Cup match. I thought that was their senior or junior vets, just shows you can' always believe what people say. So well done the victors in the earlier 11-2 victory! I smell perfidy, unless my head's stuck up my arse.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to one and all of you.
Humbug?
Nay!
Ron the sort of manager- hey a couple of lovely headers to assist me in my journey to my dotage.
Thanks Steve.
Next Sunday's game off due to Garston being in a Herts Vets Cup match. I thought that was their senior or junior vets, just shows you can' always believe what people say. So well done the victors in the earlier 11-2 victory! I smell perfidy, unless my head's stuck up my arse.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to one and all of you.
Humbug?
Nay!
Ron the sort of manager- hey a couple of lovely headers to assist me in my journey to my dotage.
Thanks Steve.
Sunday 7 December 2008
Knobs 6 MBDA 0
A cold morning and looking to be a colder evening- I've lost something again and her indoors is not communicating. It's a life!
I was up at 4.30 writing a chapter or none, went on my paper rounds then inspected a frost covered pitch at 8.15. I deemed it would be playable by 10.30 and at least in this I was proved sort of right.
Goalie problems were being mulled over when they were resolved by the arrival of a fit and raring to go Phil. He looked the part, was the part and kicked well. Little serious to do. Even Bill, Twiggy and me could probably have kept a clean sheet against a side that looked the part but flattered to deceive against a battle hardened side such as us.
Bouncy and icy at first gave way to cloying mud. A penalty decision was turned down by meticulous refereeing in the very first minute, sorry Steve but the lad miskicked and it bounced onto his hand, and really it was more or less one way after that. They had individual skills but were not effective as a team and in general lacked the little extra puff necessary to be competetive over ninety minutes. They were most competitive in midfield so well done in that department especially. The soon- to- be- 45, Martin was my man of the match. Energy from start to last and he even scored. But well played several others. Matty scored 3, the first separating the teams at half time. A sneaky pass by Bully that I, among others never saw, straight down the middle and coming out of a full sun was finished off emphatically by Matt.
Second half was a rout. Lovely move, a slide rule cross from MM, finished off by John B, 2-0 match over. Then Matty smashed a lovely shot high into the net before Martin hit one high into the net, Mark finished emphatically and nearly had another before Matt gleefully finished off his erring shot from six inches. A little argy bargy came to nothing, they continued to play offside, the last resort of those with nowt left in the tank and we missed a score until a merciful final whistle.
Phil was caught kicking his boots against a post but noone pissed on any trees or vandalised the changing rooms. Matt took the black and grey kit home. Hopefully to wash!
Alistair was much amused post- showers by John Boyle's excessive towelling dry of his balls, John's own balls that is, but I forget the explanation for such hygeinic competence. A few chuckles ensued.
All were happy and most ended up in the pub where the egg sandwiches proved simply............ eggless!
Paul resisted the lure of the lads for a day's decorating. What resolve!
Sad news for Trevor this week and commiserations were expressed by all.
See you in a minute.
Ron
I was up at 4.30 writing a chapter or none, went on my paper rounds then inspected a frost covered pitch at 8.15. I deemed it would be playable by 10.30 and at least in this I was proved sort of right.
Goalie problems were being mulled over when they were resolved by the arrival of a fit and raring to go Phil. He looked the part, was the part and kicked well. Little serious to do. Even Bill, Twiggy and me could probably have kept a clean sheet against a side that looked the part but flattered to deceive against a battle hardened side such as us.
Bouncy and icy at first gave way to cloying mud. A penalty decision was turned down by meticulous refereeing in the very first minute, sorry Steve but the lad miskicked and it bounced onto his hand, and really it was more or less one way after that. They had individual skills but were not effective as a team and in general lacked the little extra puff necessary to be competetive over ninety minutes. They were most competitive in midfield so well done in that department especially. The soon- to- be- 45, Martin was my man of the match. Energy from start to last and he even scored. But well played several others. Matty scored 3, the first separating the teams at half time. A sneaky pass by Bully that I, among others never saw, straight down the middle and coming out of a full sun was finished off emphatically by Matt.
Second half was a rout. Lovely move, a slide rule cross from MM, finished off by John B, 2-0 match over. Then Matty smashed a lovely shot high into the net before Martin hit one high into the net, Mark finished emphatically and nearly had another before Matt gleefully finished off his erring shot from six inches. A little argy bargy came to nothing, they continued to play offside, the last resort of those with nowt left in the tank and we missed a score until a merciful final whistle.
Phil was caught kicking his boots against a post but noone pissed on any trees or vandalised the changing rooms. Matt took the black and grey kit home. Hopefully to wash!
Alistair was much amused post- showers by John Boyle's excessive towelling dry of his balls, John's own balls that is, but I forget the explanation for such hygeinic competence. A few chuckles ensued.
All were happy and most ended up in the pub where the egg sandwiches proved simply............ eggless!
Paul resisted the lure of the lads for a day's decorating. What resolve!
Sad news for Trevor this week and commiserations were expressed by all.
See you in a minute.
Ron
Monday 1 December 2008
30.11.08 no game
Vintage Dundee called off Friday evening- they have now folded.
10 of us braved the wet and cold at Hatfield for a 6 aside Sunday morning (Steve's two fantastic goalie mates kept superbly). Lively outing but a bit fast and frenetic for some of us, naming no names (me). Can I be on Roy's side next time?
Bill, John, Steve and I adjourned to the Station, a little cleaner but freezing.
Hope to see you all next weekend.
I have the boots of Mark Mills, the ones which stroked in a few goals yesterday. I may keep them!
Ron
10 of us braved the wet and cold at Hatfield for a 6 aside Sunday morning (Steve's two fantastic goalie mates kept superbly). Lively outing but a bit fast and frenetic for some of us, naming no names (me). Can I be on Roy's side next time?
Bill, John, Steve and I adjourned to the Station, a little cleaner but freezing.
Hope to see you all next weekend.
I have the boots of Mark Mills, the ones which stroked in a few goals yesterday. I may keep them!
Ron
Tuesday 25 November 2008
Datchworth 5 (yes five) Knobs 5
The key to this game (ho ho private joke) was that though we defended well injdividually we didn't defend well together! Brendan was so deep in the first half I thought he wanted to play in goal. As a result, honest , the 2 goals we conceded in the first half, from only 4 'attacks' from them was simply because we allowed them to be in our box to start with! They would never have got there legitimately by energy and skill. As a result they scored in the mud lottery that was the penalty area.
Having said that how many chances did we make/ were given and spurned in that first half? Standing on the line (great!) I ran out of fingers of toes and gave up the count. Mind you their keeper pulled off some blinding saves- their only real player.
Matt got one back and we were only 2-1 down at half time. (Bill's coat was great by the way0.
They incredibly went 3-1 up before we got back to equality 3-3. 4-3 to them 4-4, 5-4 to them then incredibly we got to 5-5 with a towering John Twigg header from a Steve corner.
Just as well John he had been hunting a goal on one of our attacks which broke down and had led them to the 5-4 lead from his position which he'd left somewhat unattended. Ask Bill.
Matt scored a hattrick (therefore man of the match), Bill scored with an astute toe poke after a careful fruitful advance by John put him in and John finished the scoring which only goes to show there's vim and vigour in some of us old dogs!
Ron came on for Mark for 15 minutes, wished he hadn't bothered. Score went from 3-3 to 5-5. Matt scored a goal from an angle as tight as a gnat's snatch, even Matty didn't see it go in!We adjourned to the social club for leftovers from the rugby match but the beer was OK.Some of you know I went off with the dressing room key- amusing in itself but a symptom I'm afraid of a once prodigious memory going to seed. Two weeks ago I lost my home front doorkey only to find it the following week hanging up with the rest of the dressing room keys in our pavilion. Sad really.Finally news of our once star winger Mark the Miller. He had a good first half Sunday, all agreed, even though not as deadly in front of goal as he once was. He plays 90 minutes this Sunday even with a broken leg and he has played 3 times recently for another vet's side and scored 5 goals! Always said he was a matchwinner (Grovel O'Grovel).Gavin is unavailable for three weeks. Richard too (maternity)
Having said that how many chances did we make/ were given and spurned in that first half? Standing on the line (great!) I ran out of fingers of toes and gave up the count. Mind you their keeper pulled off some blinding saves- their only real player.
Matt got one back and we were only 2-1 down at half time. (Bill's coat was great by the way0.
They incredibly went 3-1 up before we got back to equality 3-3. 4-3 to them 4-4, 5-4 to them then incredibly we got to 5-5 with a towering John Twigg header from a Steve corner.
Just as well John he had been hunting a goal on one of our attacks which broke down and had led them to the 5-4 lead from his position which he'd left somewhat unattended. Ask Bill.
Matt scored a hattrick (therefore man of the match), Bill scored with an astute toe poke after a careful fruitful advance by John put him in and John finished the scoring which only goes to show there's vim and vigour in some of us old dogs!
Ron came on for Mark for 15 minutes, wished he hadn't bothered. Score went from 3-3 to 5-5. Matt scored a goal from an angle as tight as a gnat's snatch, even Matty didn't see it go in!We adjourned to the social club for leftovers from the rugby match but the beer was OK.Some of you know I went off with the dressing room key- amusing in itself but a symptom I'm afraid of a once prodigious memory going to seed. Two weeks ago I lost my home front doorkey only to find it the following week hanging up with the rest of the dressing room keys in our pavilion. Sad really.Finally news of our once star winger Mark the Miller. He had a good first half Sunday, all agreed, even though not as deadly in front of goal as he once was. He plays 90 minutes this Sunday even with a broken leg and he has played 3 times recently for another vet's side and scored 5 goals! Always said he was a matchwinner (Grovel O'Grovel).Gavin is unavailable for three weeks. Richard too (maternity)
Sunday 16 November 2008
League (cough, splutter) Knobs 4 Goldings 2
Sunday afternoon, post afternoon dog walk, told off by a farmer (my day?) I report a comprehensive win against a team with at least four 20 year olds in their side. So well done you knobbies. It's their older lads who you have to watch, however. Ne'er has so much swearing ricocheted from the rafters of leafy Knebworth! What can yi dae?
Early on a perceptive through ball from Steve, he knows you know, saw Gavin sprinting onto it, taking it in stride, into the penalty area then slotting home with ease. Pick the bones out of that Ben Gunn! They should have been shitting bricks and probably were. Well on top, playing some lovely stuff and missing quite a few from a combination of bad luck and bad finishing. Their chance came from Paul's pick up of a back pass, the lad's learning though, those booming clearances- well done. (And a terrific low save in the second half). A second goal came after Gavin tore through the 'heart' of their defence and was crudely hacked down from behind before he could slip it home. The 'young' perpetrator would have had no complaints if he'd been dismissed, having earlier stopped another goalscoring chance by a superb double handed save. He argued the toss, "not dangerous!", despair all ye proponents of Corinthian play. Still it's Vets football we divvint send people off, not just yet anyway. Unstoppable powerful penalty from Steve- 2-0. Their linesman was having a blinder and I had to go with him. I know he was at fault but what can you do? Like the offside he gave against Mike who was walking away from their half and the ball was retrieved by their full back, noone near him for 40 yards. Martin chased up to him and took the ball from him and their linesman and their little dwarf (number 4) wanted an offside against Mike 2 hours earlier! Well pardon me if I'm a makkem prat but I don't think so. And so the abuse went on, still goes on and will go on. As well Phil Wells wasn't reffing. We are an incredibly childish species are we not?
We lost both Chris G and Roy to injuries and early in the second half our lead was cut by a soft one and doubts started to occur. These took the form of continued imaginative football, promiscuous waste of chances created and an increasing tendency to bicker among each other and criticise each other's shortcomings- "I'm not passing to you you always miss", " you can talk Stevie Wonder" and "what's that growin out o yer foot yer nob?". Had Big Bob insidiously crawled into tiny minds? Togetherness was reinstated and superiority assured.
Fortunately we scored a peach of a goal from Monsieur Boyle. A deft flick finish with not a little courage. Gavin was back on with his bad back upand bristling, dribbling through their defences at will- ole, ole ole- quoth Debbie-here-to-stir-the-urn. They break and score but Gavin chips/centres in our fourth from wide left. All that remained was for their little and getting littler number 4 to get sent off for nutting the referee. (I was that referee). He does it all the time they said in mitigation , "like that every week"! Yes, well he was the one who tried to nut Bill when he was referee two seasons ago! The boy's got form. No style, precious in the way of style, native humour and wit, pathetically peabrained but a certain kind of form and consistency. I was quietly incensed. "You, you, you.....premature ejaculator you, clear up your droppings and leave the field." He went, trudging slowly away, bellowing "cheats", "fucking cheats" and "fucking fucking cheats" for the next 10 minutes.
No class. What a tosspot! Midget syndrome?
A feel aafilly better noo. A wiz ounly tryin ti be canny ti each side like. But wi some folk yi canna dae owt ti please them.
I must report an open goal miss of extraordinary glaringness by Matty first half, spotted by a Mr Steve Bull founder member of Stevenage's Spot the Glaring Miss Club.
Thanks to Bill and Dave for the tea. A little more tea in the tea next time lads!
One member of opposition hit the Fox- many of them were under age I suppose, where the beer and Matty's chilli sandwiches were just the ticket.
See you all soon.
Another recidivist (but not like the number 4).
Early on a perceptive through ball from Steve, he knows you know, saw Gavin sprinting onto it, taking it in stride, into the penalty area then slotting home with ease. Pick the bones out of that Ben Gunn! They should have been shitting bricks and probably were. Well on top, playing some lovely stuff and missing quite a few from a combination of bad luck and bad finishing. Their chance came from Paul's pick up of a back pass, the lad's learning though, those booming clearances- well done. (And a terrific low save in the second half). A second goal came after Gavin tore through the 'heart' of their defence and was crudely hacked down from behind before he could slip it home. The 'young' perpetrator would have had no complaints if he'd been dismissed, having earlier stopped another goalscoring chance by a superb double handed save. He argued the toss, "not dangerous!", despair all ye proponents of Corinthian play. Still it's Vets football we divvint send people off, not just yet anyway. Unstoppable powerful penalty from Steve- 2-0. Their linesman was having a blinder and I had to go with him. I know he was at fault but what can you do? Like the offside he gave against Mike who was walking away from their half and the ball was retrieved by their full back, noone near him for 40 yards. Martin chased up to him and took the ball from him and their linesman and their little dwarf (number 4) wanted an offside against Mike 2 hours earlier! Well pardon me if I'm a makkem prat but I don't think so. And so the abuse went on, still goes on and will go on. As well Phil Wells wasn't reffing. We are an incredibly childish species are we not?
We lost both Chris G and Roy to injuries and early in the second half our lead was cut by a soft one and doubts started to occur. These took the form of continued imaginative football, promiscuous waste of chances created and an increasing tendency to bicker among each other and criticise each other's shortcomings- "I'm not passing to you you always miss", " you can talk Stevie Wonder" and "what's that growin out o yer foot yer nob?". Had Big Bob insidiously crawled into tiny minds? Togetherness was reinstated and superiority assured.
Fortunately we scored a peach of a goal from Monsieur Boyle. A deft flick finish with not a little courage. Gavin was back on with his bad back upand bristling, dribbling through their defences at will- ole, ole ole- quoth Debbie-here-to-stir-the-urn. They break and score but Gavin chips/centres in our fourth from wide left. All that remained was for their little and getting littler number 4 to get sent off for nutting the referee. (I was that referee). He does it all the time they said in mitigation , "like that every week"! Yes, well he was the one who tried to nut Bill when he was referee two seasons ago! The boy's got form. No style, precious in the way of style, native humour and wit, pathetically peabrained but a certain kind of form and consistency. I was quietly incensed. "You, you, you.....premature ejaculator you, clear up your droppings and leave the field." He went, trudging slowly away, bellowing "cheats", "fucking cheats" and "fucking fucking cheats" for the next 10 minutes.
No class. What a tosspot! Midget syndrome?
A feel aafilly better noo. A wiz ounly tryin ti be canny ti each side like. But wi some folk yi canna dae owt ti please them.
I must report an open goal miss of extraordinary glaringness by Matty first half, spotted by a Mr Steve Bull founder member of Stevenage's Spot the Glaring Miss Club.
Thanks to Bill and Dave for the tea. A little more tea in the tea next time lads!
One member of opposition hit the Fox- many of them were under age I suppose, where the beer and Matty's chilli sandwiches were just the ticket.
See you all soon.
Another recidivist (but not like the number 4).
Monday 10 November 2008
Knobs 7 Old Pretenders 0
Easy game after the first 10 minutes.
Well easy if your lungs and parts of your feet are working.
Paul deputised for an absent Trevor and kept a clean driveway- please note.
We created many chances and when in possession looked the part. What part is that ?
Just the part that's all!
We missed a few, combination of ill fortune and over zealousness. Relax, Frankie said.
Ron, playing his last game in his 62nd year got us off the mark, sweeping home from a Matty assist. Matt likes to assist- I wish he'd come help wipe my arse in me old age, wor lass refuses.
Goals came regularly thereafter. Penetration down the right by Boyle and Simpson, feeding on M. Bull's perceptive passing was causing mayhem against a youthful, energetic yet largely clueless opposition. Yoofs!!!!
Gavin was my man of the match , until he spelled Paul in goal toward the end- still is just.
Mike scored 2, Matt scored 2 and JB scored 2, one an eye of the needle affair into an open goal .
Phil refereed, he's on his way back from where to and from where who knows?
Not much unpleasantness. No memorable idiosyncratic moments, except for my boot problems- my god am I suffering?
The pitch is now, forthwith officially heavy, nay, crap but nevertheless flat.
Poor turnout at pub, by us not them and several of them were underage! Chris wasted more coke and then we went yem.
Birthday spoiled by a Newcastle defeat- are Spurs still bottom?
Well easy if your lungs and parts of your feet are working.
Paul deputised for an absent Trevor and kept a clean driveway- please note.
We created many chances and when in possession looked the part. What part is that ?
Just the part that's all!
We missed a few, combination of ill fortune and over zealousness. Relax, Frankie said.
Ron, playing his last game in his 62nd year got us off the mark, sweeping home from a Matty assist. Matt likes to assist- I wish he'd come help wipe my arse in me old age, wor lass refuses.
Goals came regularly thereafter. Penetration down the right by Boyle and Simpson, feeding on M. Bull's perceptive passing was causing mayhem against a youthful, energetic yet largely clueless opposition. Yoofs!!!!
Gavin was my man of the match , until he spelled Paul in goal toward the end- still is just.
Mike scored 2, Matt scored 2 and JB scored 2, one an eye of the needle affair into an open goal .
Phil refereed, he's on his way back from where to and from where who knows?
Not much unpleasantness. No memorable idiosyncratic moments, except for my boot problems- my god am I suffering?
The pitch is now, forthwith officially heavy, nay, crap but nevertheless flat.
Poor turnout at pub, by us not them and several of them were underage! Chris wasted more coke and then we went yem.
Birthday spoiled by a Newcastle defeat- are Spurs still bottom?
Monday 3 November 2008
Knobs 3 Birchanger 1
Here we are again. Good competitive win, enjoyable game, cosy in the pub, till we had to leave and go our separate ways!
After a sluggish opening 10 minutes or so every one was up to this scrap on a conducive slippery pitch.
They fared better, downhill, in the first half but were ultimately restricted to long range shooting
all handled very capably, thank you very much, by Trevor.
Once we started to verbally encourage each other the mindset for the game was set in stone.
They led 1-0 at half time thanks to a near post corner, headed on via two of our defenders, the last being a valiant John Boyle, up into the top of the net and out again. Those new fucking clips- useless. We had chances in the first half but noone seemed capable of heading in the sumptious crosses- plug plug!
Ron was reffing, another valiant effort in stocking feet.
No concern since our two latecomers, Chris W and Gavin were about to be unleashed for the second half. Chris replaced Roy slightly earlier as the latter took a real nasty backward nut to the cheekbone. Softy.
We kicked off and within a minute or so Chris W broke, served Gavin on the left who hared off 60 yards like a Boit in no box , left all in his wake, before equalising with a cool, low finish. As JB said Gavin is devastating in mini seconds. He repeated this run several times when he was availed of the ball which probably wasn't all that much. Once he was crudely hacked down from behind and another time he evaded the foul by retaining his feet and crossing. Steve would rather have had the penalty but he should have fallen over.
Our second was due to their trying to work their way from the goalline under pressure with the final pass arriving at Steve's feet, a few feet out, and he slid it home. He doesn't miss from there!
Well actually he does, Old Owens away last season, sorry Steve you top scorer you.
Chances came and went until our third arrived, Boyle assist?, through which Matt smashed a rocket into the top corner.
They could have had a penalty, which was rightly turned down, Brendan agrees, and from the resulting freekick on the edge, Trevor completed a phenomenal tip over save.
Lovely game hope you all enjoyed it. Quite a pace too!
Bill made tea for everyone, thank you Bill, a lovely touch. Remember you lot take your cups back to the kitchen. Alistair swept out all the dressing rooms. oh did anyone let him out? I'd better pop over and see or his Sunday dinner will be really dried up!
The boots that caused the lip with a little help from the mental lubrication have now caused two enormous heel blisters. They're cursed I tell you, currrsed! Will they recover for next week's stroll? The boots that is.
Injured players Bill, Dave and Phil turned up to game and pub. Good stuff they'll soon be back.
Was Mark M spotted furtively beneath an oak tree early on? We do not know. He is also struggling on the injury front but didn't make the Fox.
Newcastle are currently bottom, but nihil desperandum is our motto or is it divvint worry yi fackin cunts will soon be fuckin climbin high. (JK). Who are you laughing at you cunt!
Ref Ron
After a sluggish opening 10 minutes or so every one was up to this scrap on a conducive slippery pitch.
They fared better, downhill, in the first half but were ultimately restricted to long range shooting
all handled very capably, thank you very much, by Trevor.
Once we started to verbally encourage each other the mindset for the game was set in stone.
They led 1-0 at half time thanks to a near post corner, headed on via two of our defenders, the last being a valiant John Boyle, up into the top of the net and out again. Those new fucking clips- useless. We had chances in the first half but noone seemed capable of heading in the sumptious crosses- plug plug!
Ron was reffing, another valiant effort in stocking feet.
No concern since our two latecomers, Chris W and Gavin were about to be unleashed for the second half. Chris replaced Roy slightly earlier as the latter took a real nasty backward nut to the cheekbone. Softy.
We kicked off and within a minute or so Chris W broke, served Gavin on the left who hared off 60 yards like a Boit in no box , left all in his wake, before equalising with a cool, low finish. As JB said Gavin is devastating in mini seconds. He repeated this run several times when he was availed of the ball which probably wasn't all that much. Once he was crudely hacked down from behind and another time he evaded the foul by retaining his feet and crossing. Steve would rather have had the penalty but he should have fallen over.
Our second was due to their trying to work their way from the goalline under pressure with the final pass arriving at Steve's feet, a few feet out, and he slid it home. He doesn't miss from there!
Well actually he does, Old Owens away last season, sorry Steve you top scorer you.
Chances came and went until our third arrived, Boyle assist?, through which Matt smashed a rocket into the top corner.
They could have had a penalty, which was rightly turned down, Brendan agrees, and from the resulting freekick on the edge, Trevor completed a phenomenal tip over save.
Lovely game hope you all enjoyed it. Quite a pace too!
Bill made tea for everyone, thank you Bill, a lovely touch. Remember you lot take your cups back to the kitchen. Alistair swept out all the dressing rooms. oh did anyone let him out? I'd better pop over and see or his Sunday dinner will be really dried up!
The boots that caused the lip with a little help from the mental lubrication have now caused two enormous heel blisters. They're cursed I tell you, currrsed! Will they recover for next week's stroll? The boots that is.
Injured players Bill, Dave and Phil turned up to game and pub. Good stuff they'll soon be back.
Was Mark M spotted furtively beneath an oak tree early on? We do not know. He is also struggling on the injury front but didn't make the Fox.
Newcastle are currently bottom, but nihil desperandum is our motto or is it divvint worry yi fackin cunts will soon be fuckin climbin high. (JK). Who are you laughing at you cunt!
Ref Ron
Match report from Birchanger - in before Ron's (again!)
Match Report for 02/11/08
Knebworth v Birchanger
Birchanger lost 3-1
Caretaker manager Gavin Tooke had an embarassment of riches with 16 players available and a decent surface in spite of heavey overnight rain. After a pre match chat about previous slow starts, Birchanger looked solid and determined not to give away anything too cheaply and so it proved in the first half. Unfortunately, it wasn't to last and a comedy of errors in front of their own goal in the second period saw them concede the lead and from then on struggle to get back into the game.
In spite of playing the better football for much of the first half, Birchanger could easily have found themselves behind. On one occasion, but for a brilliant intervention by Ian Winter, the home side would surely have taken the lead. However, neither side looked particularly likely to break the deadlock as the half came to a close until Birchanger won a corner down their left. The visitors, always strong from set pieces, caused havoc in the 18 yard box. Bob Beckwith got a head to it and his header was flicked in by a home team's defender to give Birchanger a 1-0 half time lead.
Their lead didn't last long, as shortly after the break the home side broke down their left, beat the Birchanger defence for pace, and a good finish into the bottom corner made it 1-1. Most of the play centred in the midfield, for a time, before a series of howlers in the visitors box. In spite of the pre match call to cut out conceding soft goals, too much football in front of their own goal ended up with Birchanger passing the ball to an astonished striker who just sidefooted it home to take the lead.
Further damage was soon to come when, this time, an attempted clearance was sliced and fell fortuitously to a Knebworth striker, who pulled the ball back inside the 18 yard box, to another black shirt, who finished well to make it 3-1.
Birchanger fought hard to get back into the game, with Mark Booker and Andy Gilbey going close. They even thought they had grabbed a late penalty when Ian Hollamby was upended, but the referee insisted the foul was just outside the box. The resulting free kick from Steve Luxford was brilliantly tipped over and that was the last Birchanger chance as the game finished 3-1.
This was a disappointing defeat and questions were asked about how the game was lost in the dressing room, but once again Birchanger had given their opponents a helping hand.
PS the ref was a knob head
Knebworth v Birchanger
Birchanger lost 3-1
Caretaker manager Gavin Tooke had an embarassment of riches with 16 players available and a decent surface in spite of heavey overnight rain. After a pre match chat about previous slow starts, Birchanger looked solid and determined not to give away anything too cheaply and so it proved in the first half. Unfortunately, it wasn't to last and a comedy of errors in front of their own goal in the second period saw them concede the lead and from then on struggle to get back into the game.
In spite of playing the better football for much of the first half, Birchanger could easily have found themselves behind. On one occasion, but for a brilliant intervention by Ian Winter, the home side would surely have taken the lead. However, neither side looked particularly likely to break the deadlock as the half came to a close until Birchanger won a corner down their left. The visitors, always strong from set pieces, caused havoc in the 18 yard box. Bob Beckwith got a head to it and his header was flicked in by a home team's defender to give Birchanger a 1-0 half time lead.
Their lead didn't last long, as shortly after the break the home side broke down their left, beat the Birchanger defence for pace, and a good finish into the bottom corner made it 1-1. Most of the play centred in the midfield, for a time, before a series of howlers in the visitors box. In spite of the pre match call to cut out conceding soft goals, too much football in front of their own goal ended up with Birchanger passing the ball to an astonished striker who just sidefooted it home to take the lead.
Further damage was soon to come when, this time, an attempted clearance was sliced and fell fortuitously to a Knebworth striker, who pulled the ball back inside the 18 yard box, to another black shirt, who finished well to make it 3-1.
Birchanger fought hard to get back into the game, with Mark Booker and Andy Gilbey going close. They even thought they had grabbed a late penalty when Ian Hollamby was upended, but the referee insisted the foul was just outside the box. The resulting free kick from Steve Luxford was brilliantly tipped over and that was the last Birchanger chance as the game finished 3-1.
This was a disappointing defeat and questions were asked about how the game was lost in the dressing room, but once again Birchanger had given their opponents a helping hand.
PS the ref was a knob head
Monday 27 October 2008
Kempston 7 Knobs 10
This was a hard fought victory against a very good side where defences were always on top. The game was played on an artificial pitch which was only about two thirds the size of a normal grass pitch. The keys to success were again possession and work rate.
Ronald could not make the journey as he had to shoot off and as far as I know was in discussions about the vacant Portsmouth job, a dream job for him as he has always held them close to his heart according to a bloke down the pub. Anyway Ronald met us at Knebworth Station before we departed and left detailed instructions with captain Martin for us to play a 4-4-2 formation with 3 up front, Alastair playing right back and right midfield and MM on the bench.
The game got off to a strange start with players not convinced about playing the game on a very small artificial pitch and before Trevor could finish his latte and double chocolate muffin we were 2 down. We got back into the game with 2 goals from the 3rd forward in the 4-4-2 formation, a formation that later reverted to a standard 4-4-2 shape after I was put in my place by big bad Bully.
We went in at half time 5-4 up but before we could finish off our half time coffee and homemade scones we were behind again by 6 goals to 5. The team soon found its rhythm though and started scoring for fun before easing off at the end of a pulsating affair.
Goal of the game was from a superb Paul pass across the area which completely dissected the defence for the forward to score leaving Trevor completely flat footed and helpless in goal. Another fine goal was scored by Matt when he superbly headed home a cross from the now properly placed right midfielder. This goal was copied later in the day at White Hart lane when Bentley crossed for Pavlyuchenko to score.
Other excellent goals were scored by inspirational captain Martin, Matt, Mike, Chris W, Alastair, big bad Bully and Mark. Special mention must also be given to Chris G, Brendan, Paul & Trevor who all performed heroically.
All in all a good win and no more farcical than the victory against Garston so it is being officially recorded and everyone can be proud of playing in another knobs win.
My man of the match was Roy who worked the line tirelessly.
Ronald could not make the journey as he had to shoot off and as far as I know was in discussions about the vacant Portsmouth job, a dream job for him as he has always held them close to his heart according to a bloke down the pub. Anyway Ronald met us at Knebworth Station before we departed and left detailed instructions with captain Martin for us to play a 4-4-2 formation with 3 up front, Alastair playing right back and right midfield and MM on the bench.
The game got off to a strange start with players not convinced about playing the game on a very small artificial pitch and before Trevor could finish his latte and double chocolate muffin we were 2 down. We got back into the game with 2 goals from the 3rd forward in the 4-4-2 formation, a formation that later reverted to a standard 4-4-2 shape after I was put in my place by big bad Bully.
We went in at half time 5-4 up but before we could finish off our half time coffee and homemade scones we were behind again by 6 goals to 5. The team soon found its rhythm though and started scoring for fun before easing off at the end of a pulsating affair.
Goal of the game was from a superb Paul pass across the area which completely dissected the defence for the forward to score leaving Trevor completely flat footed and helpless in goal. Another fine goal was scored by Matt when he superbly headed home a cross from the now properly placed right midfielder. This goal was copied later in the day at White Hart lane when Bentley crossed for Pavlyuchenko to score.
Other excellent goals were scored by inspirational captain Martin, Matt, Mike, Chris W, Alastair, big bad Bully and Mark. Special mention must also be given to Chris G, Brendan, Paul & Trevor who all performed heroically.
All in all a good win and no more farcical than the victory against Garston so it is being officially recorded and everyone can be proud of playing in another knobs win.
My man of the match was Roy who worked the line tirelessly.
Sunday 19 October 2008
Saints 0 Knobs 4- league game
Not as easy as it looks. In fact not easy at all! They were good. So what does that make us? Pretty bloody good and hard working and by far the more creative and clinical finishers that's what.
They started the better, stroking the ball around on a nigh on perfect pitch and our early possession didn't look quite so polished. However we were kept in the game early on by some sterling individual efforts. At least we were knuckling down. Great!
We went ahead with a rather pleasant goal. Matt served Steve and the old one-two worked again as old Ben Gunn anticipating a superbly flighted 40 yard diagonal cross peeled off the back and dived to head in once again. How boring it's becoming. Nah it isn't, it's bliddy great!
The score held at 1-0 till half time.
Gavin, in Ron's rotting boots, suddenly came alive in the second half and notched himself two fine goals and together with a fine one from Matt we found ourselves a comfortable 4-0 up.
They pressed well but I thought as a team we defended very resolutely together with some excellent individual performances. Trevor instils confidence with his calling and handling of crosses, there was also one blinding save. Richard outran and outmuscled the roadrunner who eventually retired fatigued and beaten on points. Chris G was again excellent and Chris W played his best game of the season with a hangover. Good defending and goalkicks from Monsieur B and well done all the rest. Tony came on as sub and out of position contributed solidly, including a nice cross cum pass for Matt's goal.
Facilities palatial, nice showers and enormous dressing room. Unfortunately clubhouse was also enormous and packed and where it was spacious, outside, it proved a little too fackin cauld for the southern branch of the Knobs tree. Oh aye and plastic glasses! Giz the Station any day. I'll try again giz the Wicked Lady any day, some of us tried it, no great, full of scoffers eating Credit Crunch specials.
Home just in time to see Spurs lose to Stoke. They're too good to go down.
Next week we are away again, I'm afraid I somewhat cocked up this side of the fixture arrangements. This time we travel away to Kempston, good pitches. 9.20 at the Station. See you all then. We are now top of the league, I believe.
Ron ,
They started the better, stroking the ball around on a nigh on perfect pitch and our early possession didn't look quite so polished. However we were kept in the game early on by some sterling individual efforts. At least we were knuckling down. Great!
We went ahead with a rather pleasant goal. Matt served Steve and the old one-two worked again as old Ben Gunn anticipating a superbly flighted 40 yard diagonal cross peeled off the back and dived to head in once again. How boring it's becoming. Nah it isn't, it's bliddy great!
The score held at 1-0 till half time.
Gavin, in Ron's rotting boots, suddenly came alive in the second half and notched himself two fine goals and together with a fine one from Matt we found ourselves a comfortable 4-0 up.
They pressed well but I thought as a team we defended very resolutely together with some excellent individual performances. Trevor instils confidence with his calling and handling of crosses, there was also one blinding save. Richard outran and outmuscled the roadrunner who eventually retired fatigued and beaten on points. Chris G was again excellent and Chris W played his best game of the season with a hangover. Good defending and goalkicks from Monsieur B and well done all the rest. Tony came on as sub and out of position contributed solidly, including a nice cross cum pass for Matt's goal.
Facilities palatial, nice showers and enormous dressing room. Unfortunately clubhouse was also enormous and packed and where it was spacious, outside, it proved a little too fackin cauld for the southern branch of the Knobs tree. Oh aye and plastic glasses! Giz the Station any day. I'll try again giz the Wicked Lady any day, some of us tried it, no great, full of scoffers eating Credit Crunch specials.
Home just in time to see Spurs lose to Stoke. They're too good to go down.
Next week we are away again, I'm afraid I somewhat cocked up this side of the fixture arrangements. This time we travel away to Kempston, good pitches. 9.20 at the Station. See you all then. We are now top of the league, I believe.
Ron ,
Monday 13 October 2008
Therfield 1 Knobs 3
Good win with a little hiccup or two- presumably aftermath of Friday night.
Usually a weaker side fronted against this lot, usually with a similar result so my expectations of a 10-0 victory yesterday was a little out! Probably we were too purist, trying to walk the ball into the net, but perhaps that will hold us in good stead against better sides.
Gorgeous hot morning, awaiting kick off and a referee who had gone yem to find a whistle. Monsieur Bull, impatiently pawing the earth for a kick off that took an age to materialise got a few of them riled- fuck me this is Therfield. It didn't matter, a match fought well in good spirit- I hate those games. We played well for half an hour and their only sniff was a back pass from me that followed Ashley Cole some 24 hours earlier, apparently. Trevor courageously saved.
First goal excellent move, John Boyle made it (mine's a pint of Guinness) finished aplombishly by Steve Bull. Second a neat finish by Matt. Where are the floodgates?
Stuck that way till half time.
Big centre forward was a lumpy awkward thing, Chris Griffths excellent, take off your non-existent hat,
Over prettification meant the score remained static for most of the second half until they scored in a scrimmage on the goal line after a blatant push on Chris, I think. We put the result beyond doubt with a crap third, a header from John Boyle as he awaited a clattering that never came. He had to be there to do it! (Another Guinness please).
The pub in Therfield having gone to the wall meant we trekked into Royston and spent an hour in glorious Indian summer sun. John Twigg only one in his new Knobs sweatshirt- £15 from Steve Bull- or you don't get picked.
John Boyle revelled in his Ribenas with straws and Trevor enjoyed a Latte. Fuck me with a dead rabbit! Bill floated the idea of a trip to Chataillon sur Plage. it was the sun and the Latte wot done it.
Thanks for the lift back Brendan, despite being blocked in by Royston's version of Wild Bill Hickock, we got yem safe by 2.30.
Injured list:
Dave - cartilege out till December
Roy - everything in the leg region not covered by bandages and elastoplasts out till Oct 19th
Bill- hamstring out for two months.
Phil- hamstring and ankle out till New Year.
M...- out with syphillis, waiting till bollocks drop off naturally.
Mike- out with laser eye problem till Oct 19th?
Big Bob- out permanently due to fractured wllaet and blackballing.
Sunday league away to St Albans.
Moses
Usually a weaker side fronted against this lot, usually with a similar result so my expectations of a 10-0 victory yesterday was a little out! Probably we were too purist, trying to walk the ball into the net, but perhaps that will hold us in good stead against better sides.
Gorgeous hot morning, awaiting kick off and a referee who had gone yem to find a whistle. Monsieur Bull, impatiently pawing the earth for a kick off that took an age to materialise got a few of them riled- fuck me this is Therfield. It didn't matter, a match fought well in good spirit- I hate those games. We played well for half an hour and their only sniff was a back pass from me that followed Ashley Cole some 24 hours earlier, apparently. Trevor courageously saved.
First goal excellent move, John Boyle made it (mine's a pint of Guinness) finished aplombishly by Steve Bull. Second a neat finish by Matt. Where are the floodgates?
Stuck that way till half time.
Big centre forward was a lumpy awkward thing, Chris Griffths excellent, take off your non-existent hat,
Over prettification meant the score remained static for most of the second half until they scored in a scrimmage on the goal line after a blatant push on Chris, I think. We put the result beyond doubt with a crap third, a header from John Boyle as he awaited a clattering that never came. He had to be there to do it! (Another Guinness please).
The pub in Therfield having gone to the wall meant we trekked into Royston and spent an hour in glorious Indian summer sun. John Twigg only one in his new Knobs sweatshirt- £15 from Steve Bull- or you don't get picked.
John Boyle revelled in his Ribenas with straws and Trevor enjoyed a Latte. Fuck me with a dead rabbit! Bill floated the idea of a trip to Chataillon sur Plage. it was the sun and the Latte wot done it.
Thanks for the lift back Brendan, despite being blocked in by Royston's version of Wild Bill Hickock, we got yem safe by 2.30.
Injured list:
Dave - cartilege out till December
Roy - everything in the leg region not covered by bandages and elastoplasts out till Oct 19th
Bill- hamstring out for two months.
Phil- hamstring and ankle out till New Year.
M...- out with syphillis, waiting till bollocks drop off naturally.
Mike- out with laser eye problem till Oct 19th?
Big Bob- out permanently due to fractured wllaet and blackballing.
Sunday league away to St Albans.
Moses
Sunday 5 October 2008
Old Owens 2 Knobs 2
I knew I'd forgotten something! It's when us very very, verrrrry old players play, on form and merit, I may boastfully add, that we tend to forget the other little things in life, like match reports and what's my willie for again.A good result against a good side.Only controversy when manager entered fray, fifteen minutes left to replace a cartilage damaged Dave (hello you cartilage damaged Dave- well played, see you in March). The referee awaiting his big moment approached me and said "watch your elbows this year", yer couldn't mek it up! Only thing I did was try to rip shirt off that young left back's back, other than that all was quite pleasant.We started slowly, but Trevor soon found his mouth. They were knocking the ball round well. They scored from a nicely flighted chip but we soon equalised with a snorter. John Twigg, at centre forward, manager's successful ploy, he tried and played very well, played the rampaging Alistair away down the right. A superb cross from the byline reached the far post where John, following in, rose like a gannet, hung in the air and let his nut butt home the equaliser.They scored again. The rain pissed down by the way but Ali's McLaren proved useful to me on the side.We gained a free kick some 31 and a half yards out. Steve advanced to rifle home a scorcher skimming from beneath the cross bar. 2-2 half time.Second half was a stalemate with them having the best chances with Matt and John left to forage well up front on mere scraps. Mind with minutes to go John was through before being hauled down for a slam dunk fuckin penalty, not given. I did remonstrate politely with the ref "yer friggin cheat" but he was having nowt of it. Well there you go. Honest that was so blatant I'd be be so embarrassed beyond measure if I hadn't given it against us, bliddy honest!Roy went off injured after a sterling game alongside Chris against two very skilful strong forwards (both vets I may add).One pathetic note. Paul came on at half time for Brendan, no that's not pathetic, I stayed off, things were going Ok. I took Mark off and Brendan back on after 65 minutes. I stayed on the line. With 15 minutes left Dave was injured and there was no sign of Mark so I was forced to take the track suit off and join in. It was still raining!With 8 minutes left Roy went off injured and they were pressing hard. Where was Mark, we were down to 10!!! Where were you Mark you didn't mention you were diappaering into the fuckin ether?We held out for a draw. Just as well. Some people put their bodies on the line in games. You can get hurt and sometimes some do. Personally if we'd lost a goal in those last minutes it would have been a real pisser in light of what had gone before. Howay the brave 10 men. I still don't know where Mark is by the way, whether he flushed himself down the bog or just went yem? Does he even know the result, does he care?Trevor was excellent in goal, he handles greasy balls with aplomb. The dirty devil!
Monday 29 September 2008
Sandy 2 knobs 5
Another sunny day.
A well crafted and in the end a comfortable victory. The pitch was most un-Sandy like and I think the game was enjoyable. The Sandy mittens have been buried. We don't often have a goalkeeper up there but this time we did and it paid off.
With a bare eleven we outfought and outplayed them. Matt was called into labour at 9 o'clock so had a reasonable-ish excuse for crying off.
Everyone played well and particularly in the first half we closed them down well and seemed first to all 50-50's and deservedly turned round 2-0 up. The real Gavin turned up and was scintillatingly fleet footed, soon giving rise to charges that he was only 20 something. Such a joy for me to quietly put Lil F in his place. "No old chap he is 35 yet I notice your two youngsters in their 20's haven't got the stomach for the fray!" Much better than, "ah fuck off yer cunt" certainly intellectually more satisfying, must remember that.
First goal Mark, deep on the left touchline, spotted the blur that was Gavin on the top right wing and a lovely flighted ball saw G take it in his stride, bamboozle the keeper and score. There was some doubt about the second, a Roy header from a corner gently chaperoned over the line by Gavin. The exultant Roy left noone in any doubt as to the owner of the goal, as he strode back to his position.
Steve Bull, labouring with a bad back, took a ball against none other than Lil F, flicked it over his head and finished with an exquisite chip that cleared the bar by a gnat's whisker.
Second half we remained in command and were really surprising them. Deep right Bully looked up and saw his fellow forward peeling off the back men. A lovely cross took out both central defenders and a diving header saw old man river nut home in delight, 3-0. Shortly afterwards Chris Wilson broke up their possession and burst through into the penalty area but sidefooted it wide with keeper beaten, hard luck, much discussion in pub.
They came back into it with two goals one a good one and one somewhat dodgily defended. John Boyle made an excellent clearance off the line before we got our fourth. A Mark corner found a totally unmarked Brendan, farpost. He headed into the melee where good old Gavin extricated his feet from his arse before gently rolling the ball over the line. His hattrick- no says Roy.
A deep crossfield ball from Bully saw Mark running into space, rounding the keeper and sliding home the fifth. Gavin could have helped that one on its way too but he's not that mischievous.
The referee did well apart from missing a diabolical push on 'old man' as he was about to notch his second header. It was laughing Joe the Eyetie wot done it. We parted friends (cunt) it was that sort of game.
The last of the summer sun was spent in a beer garden before we dispersed. John and Gavin to the Station to watch Spurs cement their place at the bottom, holding up mighty Newcastle. Now that takes some doing.
Roland
A well crafted and in the end a comfortable victory. The pitch was most un-Sandy like and I think the game was enjoyable. The Sandy mittens have been buried. We don't often have a goalkeeper up there but this time we did and it paid off.
With a bare eleven we outfought and outplayed them. Matt was called into labour at 9 o'clock so had a reasonable-ish excuse for crying off.
Everyone played well and particularly in the first half we closed them down well and seemed first to all 50-50's and deservedly turned round 2-0 up. The real Gavin turned up and was scintillatingly fleet footed, soon giving rise to charges that he was only 20 something. Such a joy for me to quietly put Lil F in his place. "No old chap he is 35 yet I notice your two youngsters in their 20's haven't got the stomach for the fray!" Much better than, "ah fuck off yer cunt" certainly intellectually more satisfying, must remember that.
First goal Mark, deep on the left touchline, spotted the blur that was Gavin on the top right wing and a lovely flighted ball saw G take it in his stride, bamboozle the keeper and score. There was some doubt about the second, a Roy header from a corner gently chaperoned over the line by Gavin. The exultant Roy left noone in any doubt as to the owner of the goal, as he strode back to his position.
Steve Bull, labouring with a bad back, took a ball against none other than Lil F, flicked it over his head and finished with an exquisite chip that cleared the bar by a gnat's whisker.
Second half we remained in command and were really surprising them. Deep right Bully looked up and saw his fellow forward peeling off the back men. A lovely cross took out both central defenders and a diving header saw old man river nut home in delight, 3-0. Shortly afterwards Chris Wilson broke up their possession and burst through into the penalty area but sidefooted it wide with keeper beaten, hard luck, much discussion in pub.
They came back into it with two goals one a good one and one somewhat dodgily defended. John Boyle made an excellent clearance off the line before we got our fourth. A Mark corner found a totally unmarked Brendan, farpost. He headed into the melee where good old Gavin extricated his feet from his arse before gently rolling the ball over the line. His hattrick- no says Roy.
A deep crossfield ball from Bully saw Mark running into space, rounding the keeper and sliding home the fifth. Gavin could have helped that one on its way too but he's not that mischievous.
The referee did well apart from missing a diabolical push on 'old man' as he was about to notch his second header. It was laughing Joe the Eyetie wot done it. We parted friends (cunt) it was that sort of game.
The last of the summer sun was spent in a beer garden before we dispersed. John and Gavin to the Station to watch Spurs cement their place at the bottom, holding up mighty Newcastle. Now that takes some doing.
Roland
Monday 22 September 2008
Welwyn Pegasus 4 Knobs 2
A sunny day ,
Not very satisfactory organisation wise. Not my fault. Having arranged the game months ago, having confirmed it Monday afternoon I was told they were struggling to get a team out, don't worry we'll lend you a player. He promised to confirm Tuesday. I phoned him Thursday, oh he forgot, sorry, yes game on. Oh but it's 2 pm ko, a bit of a change from Monday!
No-one was unduly affected by this in our set up- I don't think.
11am Sunday morning, Andrew phones. Problem no referee, will I do it? There goes my game. Yes. Oh and there are no changing rooms. Great but it's a sunny day and perhaps our bollocks and arseholes need a good airing. Oh and I won't be there says Andrew, better things to do, no doubt, than bollock airing on a balmy Sunday- Man U v Chelsea on the TV, Ryder Cup and possibly a soupcon of shagging! (where's that cedilla? Got yiz there!).
Anyway we proceeded to the game on the vast acres of Monk Walk school playing fields in Welwyn. They had 13 players, and I had agreed to referee, me who loves to play rendered an obsolete cipher with a whistle! Such is ageing but I'd given my word because none of them lot wanted to ref or didn't have the guts or the wind. You might gather by now I'm not a little pissed off. To add insult to injury and this is not an excuse for defeat or for any diminution of enjoyment to be gleaned from the game, after all we're all fortunate to be able to bend over and put shorts on at our ages, never mind run joyously through 90 minutes of lovely football, they fielded a few lads. When I say lads I don't mean lags. Put it this way, the father of two of them, in his forties, was playing right back for them. He must have sired them when he was 10! And they weren't just fit they were superfit, could play quite well and were motivated to do so and crush our ancient limbs into the dust. Little turds. You cannot compete with that , short of resorting to dubious equalising tactics and neither Jack Sinclair nor I were playing!
On to the game. We could have won and should have won so well done in many respects. Our approach play was incisive, sometimes excellent, especially first half but our finishing was unlucky and sometimes poor. In the second half when we scored our goals, again we played some good stuff but sometimes erred by being over elaborate and too pretty. We were always chasing the game by then and Chris Griffiths had his hands full at the back when everyone seemed hellbent on going forward. Trouble was an acreage developed between our defence and attack which their roll-on, roll- off youngsters exploited. Then again they only scored 4 , good finishes but in my opinion not that impressive a score. Steve Bull scored from an excellent snapshot and Gavin rifled in his first of the season from a sort of good move.
As referee I was taken to task when the ball was out of play, hoofed into the great green yonder, for stopping the watch. This by their ageing but not aged midfield player. The ball must have been 30 minutes out of play, usually slothfully brought back by their young keeper who presumably only recently learnt to walk. I was told I wasn't allowed to do that, stop the watch that is. Do what I fucking like besides I only have rudimentary knowledge of its workings- the difficult part is starting it again, don't you find? Anyway apart from the time added on being to the advantage of both sides in allowing 90 minutes play to take place, this geezer reinforced his view by putting me firmly in my place as he sid he was a fully qualified referee of 15 years experience. Well fuck me, I'm just a little runt or even a little c... with nothing better to do on a Sunday than trot meaninglessly around blowing a little whistle now and then. Why aren't you reffing your game I asked him in a reserved way, "you're doing a grand job", he retorted trotting off. That took the biscuit. I was pissed off and still am and am considering my position, again... I was offered 20 quid in the pub for reffing but I declined. Broke as I am I still have a smidgeon of pride.
The sandwiches and chips were plentiful in the pub not so the opposition, there was us and two of them. Pity!
Dave and missus and kids feasted on the banquet.
Roy sustained an injury, Bill pulled a hamstring, John Boyle is in pain but in denial and from last week Richard and Phil are injured, the latter long term.
To complete a wonderful day I got to take the kit.
Sandy next week away- good grub at least.
Am old enough to know better
Cry baby cry
Not very satisfactory organisation wise. Not my fault. Having arranged the game months ago, having confirmed it Monday afternoon I was told they were struggling to get a team out, don't worry we'll lend you a player. He promised to confirm Tuesday. I phoned him Thursday, oh he forgot, sorry, yes game on. Oh but it's 2 pm ko, a bit of a change from Monday!
No-one was unduly affected by this in our set up- I don't think.
11am Sunday morning, Andrew phones. Problem no referee, will I do it? There goes my game. Yes. Oh and there are no changing rooms. Great but it's a sunny day and perhaps our bollocks and arseholes need a good airing. Oh and I won't be there says Andrew, better things to do, no doubt, than bollock airing on a balmy Sunday- Man U v Chelsea on the TV, Ryder Cup and possibly a soupcon of shagging! (where's that cedilla? Got yiz there!).
Anyway we proceeded to the game on the vast acres of Monk Walk school playing fields in Welwyn. They had 13 players, and I had agreed to referee, me who loves to play rendered an obsolete cipher with a whistle! Such is ageing but I'd given my word because none of them lot wanted to ref or didn't have the guts or the wind. You might gather by now I'm not a little pissed off. To add insult to injury and this is not an excuse for defeat or for any diminution of enjoyment to be gleaned from the game, after all we're all fortunate to be able to bend over and put shorts on at our ages, never mind run joyously through 90 minutes of lovely football, they fielded a few lads. When I say lads I don't mean lags. Put it this way, the father of two of them, in his forties, was playing right back for them. He must have sired them when he was 10! And they weren't just fit they were superfit, could play quite well and were motivated to do so and crush our ancient limbs into the dust. Little turds. You cannot compete with that , short of resorting to dubious equalising tactics and neither Jack Sinclair nor I were playing!
On to the game. We could have won and should have won so well done in many respects. Our approach play was incisive, sometimes excellent, especially first half but our finishing was unlucky and sometimes poor. In the second half when we scored our goals, again we played some good stuff but sometimes erred by being over elaborate and too pretty. We were always chasing the game by then and Chris Griffiths had his hands full at the back when everyone seemed hellbent on going forward. Trouble was an acreage developed between our defence and attack which their roll-on, roll- off youngsters exploited. Then again they only scored 4 , good finishes but in my opinion not that impressive a score. Steve Bull scored from an excellent snapshot and Gavin rifled in his first of the season from a sort of good move.
As referee I was taken to task when the ball was out of play, hoofed into the great green yonder, for stopping the watch. This by their ageing but not aged midfield player. The ball must have been 30 minutes out of play, usually slothfully brought back by their young keeper who presumably only recently learnt to walk. I was told I wasn't allowed to do that, stop the watch that is. Do what I fucking like besides I only have rudimentary knowledge of its workings- the difficult part is starting it again, don't you find? Anyway apart from the time added on being to the advantage of both sides in allowing 90 minutes play to take place, this geezer reinforced his view by putting me firmly in my place as he sid he was a fully qualified referee of 15 years experience. Well fuck me, I'm just a little runt or even a little c... with nothing better to do on a Sunday than trot meaninglessly around blowing a little whistle now and then. Why aren't you reffing your game I asked him in a reserved way, "you're doing a grand job", he retorted trotting off. That took the biscuit. I was pissed off and still am and am considering my position, again... I was offered 20 quid in the pub for reffing but I declined. Broke as I am I still have a smidgeon of pride.
The sandwiches and chips were plentiful in the pub not so the opposition, there was us and two of them. Pity!
Dave and missus and kids feasted on the banquet.
Roy sustained an injury, Bill pulled a hamstring, John Boyle is in pain but in denial and from last week Richard and Phil are injured, the latter long term.
To complete a wonderful day I got to take the kit.
Sandy next week away- good grub at least.
Am old enough to know better
Cry baby cry
Monday 15 September 2008
Knobs 1 Ware 2
Bugger!
It was a lovely day and resplendent in new kit a competitive game was fought out against Ware. The only downside we lost!
Probably didn't deserve to lose even though not at our best. Injuries didn't really help but not a reason for defeat. As their keeper said we battered them, though we didn't score enough and they kept hitting us on the break where Alistair coped manfully with their only forward, a black Gavin!!
They held a half time lead by virtue of one of their rare attacks before a lovely back to front move saw us equalise with an excellent headed goal from Mike.
The second half saw us finding out the difficulties of beating down a defence with 9 blokes camped around their penalty area. Not easy! And their goalkeeper played well as did Ware's Lady Luck, she were great.
They scored a good chipped goal to win it. However with their singular tactic being the hoofed break, Trevor had hitherto been employed to good effect as sweeper and when this particular shot came in they were fortunate it was so well placed- a rarity. How we never equalised in ensuing scrambles and through numerous well placed corners, goodness knows.
I would have thought there was all round enjoyment apart from the result.
Unfortunately Phil badly damaged an ankle and did well to hobble on as referee in great pain. He put me in my place, thank you it improved my game. Gavin was at his wife's 10km. run, I forgot. That worries me, my forgetting that is. The doc says something about a manifestation of ageing but am in denial.
Well done all, pub subdued as we were outnumbered by a victorious Ware mob- but we live to play another day. That, after all is what being a vet is all about- longevity fuck the quality.
Ron
It was a lovely day and resplendent in new kit a competitive game was fought out against Ware. The only downside we lost!
Probably didn't deserve to lose even though not at our best. Injuries didn't really help but not a reason for defeat. As their keeper said we battered them, though we didn't score enough and they kept hitting us on the break where Alistair coped manfully with their only forward, a black Gavin!!
They held a half time lead by virtue of one of their rare attacks before a lovely back to front move saw us equalise with an excellent headed goal from Mike.
The second half saw us finding out the difficulties of beating down a defence with 9 blokes camped around their penalty area. Not easy! And their goalkeeper played well as did Ware's Lady Luck, she were great.
They scored a good chipped goal to win it. However with their singular tactic being the hoofed break, Trevor had hitherto been employed to good effect as sweeper and when this particular shot came in they were fortunate it was so well placed- a rarity. How we never equalised in ensuing scrambles and through numerous well placed corners, goodness knows.
I would have thought there was all round enjoyment apart from the result.
Unfortunately Phil badly damaged an ankle and did well to hobble on as referee in great pain. He put me in my place, thank you it improved my game. Gavin was at his wife's 10km. run, I forgot. That worries me, my forgetting that is. The doc says something about a manifestation of ageing but am in denial.
Well done all, pub subdued as we were outnumbered by a victorious Ware mob- but we live to play another day. That, after all is what being a vet is all about- longevity fuck the quality.
Ron
Sunday 7 September 2008
Knobs 11 Garston 2
I refereed, in the first half and I was embarrassed. Martin agreed in the first half, this was embarrassing. Approaching John coming off at half time, his first comment was "this is embarrassing". So it wasn't just me. What was so embarrassing? Our 5-0 half time lead?
Perhaps some of us were getting things out of all proportion, perhaps we were playing so bloody well perhaps it was simply an unstoppable day for us. Who the fuck knows. In the pub Brendan said you can only approach a game against the opposition set out in front of you. Yes. It's no good beating yourself up because you outplayed an opposition so thoroughly in the only indisputable way- simply scoring far more goals than them!
However nagging disquiet rules in my addled brain. When arranging the fixtures their bloke John always emphasises the age of his side put out against us. (Garston have a very large vets set up and for some recent historical reason have chosen us as a fixture for their mainly over 50's side). I always retort that we are a small vets' squad and can only field an eleven that is available. I emphasised that to John last Sunday and he seemed to be OK with it. Last year we beat them 2-1 with not so much an older Knobs side but a less able one. You may remember I scored the winner, I do, it was a good win, an enjoyable game for both sides and one we actually won with a faultless display of goalkeeping by Trevor. Today was different. Apart from playing with our legs in hobbling irons I don't know what else we could have done.
They chose to kick off after winning the toss and we chose to kick downhill. They started brightly with some of their clever passing drawing gasps of admiration. Yet their purist football never looked remotely like advancing them into dangerous positions where they could damage us. It's a big pitch and they didn't have the legs to support each other in possession. C'est la vie! After a few pleasing-on-the-eye passes their moves either broke down with a loose pass or more often they were brushed aside by honest endeavour. Thence came the crunch. When in possession Knebworth possessed players who could run strongly with the ball and off the ball, Richard, the returning Alistair, Matty and Martin to mention a few were running like whippets. As we got on top we tended to run even harder and faster. What a contrast to the last two weeks when we looked decidedly unfit and off the pace. Of course the confidence of scoring made all the difference and we fed hungrily thereafter, racking up goals at will. Mind you we've all played games when we had a superiority and won but never so emphatically as this one. I remember a game two years ago against a very weak Old Pretenders which we only drew 2-2 instead of winning by a cricket score. Then there was the game we lost at home to a pretty aged Kempston side last season, how did that happen? And so on. Perhaps as their midfielder Wally and some of our team said some of their side simply gave up. Perhaps, I'm not sure. Anyway relative to the game today, those who played for us were certainly up for it and well played to them all. At least we paid them the respect of playing hard and not showboating or taking the piss just cos we were scoring so well. That would have been awful. We played hard and respectfully so well done all of you!
They won't all be like this one. Next week we entertain Ware at home in the league, a different world but please bring the same commitment and attitude with you.
Goalscorers Matt 4, Mike 3, Steve, Mark, Brendan and Ron (my kingdom for a chip! it brought memories back from twenty years ago and before and a tear blinded me eye).
A nice wee session in The Fox where Garston showed in numbers. I guess the next game against them, before Christmas, might see a different opposition in front of us. Fair enough, but we'll have Roy back. Revenge is a dish savoured....... Put this one in your diaries.
Thanks to Alistair for reffing second half. Thanks to John for not coming on in the second half. Thanks to Roy for going home before kick off, superfluity of players.
A viewing of the new kit took place in The Fox, the jury's out! Thanks to Trevor for providing it and best wishes to him in light of his family concern.
Obviously those who ref our games in future cannot wear black. Some of you may know that I have a rather attractive line in white T-shirts with dizzying designs which are borrowable at no charge! And I didn't get them from that Mike Ashley's sporting junk shops.
The incomparable Len Shackleton, Crown Prince of Soccer, once had a chapter in his autobiography entitled what directors know about football. Needless to say there followed several blank pages. This was followed by Cloughie's mantra- directors know nothing about football, directors never thank you and directors are essentially untrustworthy so don't try to befriend them. KK should have taken note. We have owners and international companies now running clubs. Thieving Russian oligarchs with their playthings, corrupt Thai politicians with apalling human rights records, billionaire Arab sheiks accidentally sitting on oilfields (wonder if Manchester City have a women's team, ad pay good money to watch a team playing in burkas but not sure about the stoning and amputations that follow a stripping off of a veil when they score) and then there's the heroic 'people's owner' Mike Fucking Ashley. The man who made his millions selling shoddy sportswear, made by slave and child labour to the masses, some may say the multitudinous unwashed, of Britain. Isn't it great to support a club with such financial scruples? He's given Newcastle nowt, he'll make a huge profit on his investment and life will go on. Just how does one ethically support your club in this day and age? Fucked if a knaa. The new messiahs of Newcastle? Some conglomerate of Indian businessmen. Better than Ashley? You must be joking though Geordies do like a curry! The pain goes on.... and on....
So it's howay the lads as England's national team slips further into the brown slimy stuff . What a way to run a pastime.
Chippy
Perhaps some of us were getting things out of all proportion, perhaps we were playing so bloody well perhaps it was simply an unstoppable day for us. Who the fuck knows. In the pub Brendan said you can only approach a game against the opposition set out in front of you. Yes. It's no good beating yourself up because you outplayed an opposition so thoroughly in the only indisputable way- simply scoring far more goals than them!
However nagging disquiet rules in my addled brain. When arranging the fixtures their bloke John always emphasises the age of his side put out against us. (Garston have a very large vets set up and for some recent historical reason have chosen us as a fixture for their mainly over 50's side). I always retort that we are a small vets' squad and can only field an eleven that is available. I emphasised that to John last Sunday and he seemed to be OK with it. Last year we beat them 2-1 with not so much an older Knobs side but a less able one. You may remember I scored the winner, I do, it was a good win, an enjoyable game for both sides and one we actually won with a faultless display of goalkeeping by Trevor. Today was different. Apart from playing with our legs in hobbling irons I don't know what else we could have done.
They chose to kick off after winning the toss and we chose to kick downhill. They started brightly with some of their clever passing drawing gasps of admiration. Yet their purist football never looked remotely like advancing them into dangerous positions where they could damage us. It's a big pitch and they didn't have the legs to support each other in possession. C'est la vie! After a few pleasing-on-the-eye passes their moves either broke down with a loose pass or more often they were brushed aside by honest endeavour. Thence came the crunch. When in possession Knebworth possessed players who could run strongly with the ball and off the ball, Richard, the returning Alistair, Matty and Martin to mention a few were running like whippets. As we got on top we tended to run even harder and faster. What a contrast to the last two weeks when we looked decidedly unfit and off the pace. Of course the confidence of scoring made all the difference and we fed hungrily thereafter, racking up goals at will. Mind you we've all played games when we had a superiority and won but never so emphatically as this one. I remember a game two years ago against a very weak Old Pretenders which we only drew 2-2 instead of winning by a cricket score. Then there was the game we lost at home to a pretty aged Kempston side last season, how did that happen? And so on. Perhaps as their midfielder Wally and some of our team said some of their side simply gave up. Perhaps, I'm not sure. Anyway relative to the game today, those who played for us were certainly up for it and well played to them all. At least we paid them the respect of playing hard and not showboating or taking the piss just cos we were scoring so well. That would have been awful. We played hard and respectfully so well done all of you!
They won't all be like this one. Next week we entertain Ware at home in the league, a different world but please bring the same commitment and attitude with you.
Goalscorers Matt 4, Mike 3, Steve, Mark, Brendan and Ron (my kingdom for a chip! it brought memories back from twenty years ago and before and a tear blinded me eye).
A nice wee session in The Fox where Garston showed in numbers. I guess the next game against them, before Christmas, might see a different opposition in front of us. Fair enough, but we'll have Roy back. Revenge is a dish savoured....... Put this one in your diaries.
Thanks to Alistair for reffing second half. Thanks to John for not coming on in the second half. Thanks to Roy for going home before kick off, superfluity of players.
A viewing of the new kit took place in The Fox, the jury's out! Thanks to Trevor for providing it and best wishes to him in light of his family concern.
Obviously those who ref our games in future cannot wear black. Some of you may know that I have a rather attractive line in white T-shirts with dizzying designs which are borrowable at no charge! And I didn't get them from that Mike Ashley's sporting junk shops.
The incomparable Len Shackleton, Crown Prince of Soccer, once had a chapter in his autobiography entitled what directors know about football. Needless to say there followed several blank pages. This was followed by Cloughie's mantra- directors know nothing about football, directors never thank you and directors are essentially untrustworthy so don't try to befriend them. KK should have taken note. We have owners and international companies now running clubs. Thieving Russian oligarchs with their playthings, corrupt Thai politicians with apalling human rights records, billionaire Arab sheiks accidentally sitting on oilfields (wonder if Manchester City have a women's team, ad pay good money to watch a team playing in burkas but not sure about the stoning and amputations that follow a stripping off of a veil when they score) and then there's the heroic 'people's owner' Mike Fucking Ashley. The man who made his millions selling shoddy sportswear, made by slave and child labour to the masses, some may say the multitudinous unwashed, of Britain. Isn't it great to support a club with such financial scruples? He's given Newcastle nowt, he'll make a huge profit on his investment and life will go on. Just how does one ethically support your club in this day and age? Fucked if a knaa. The new messiahs of Newcastle? Some conglomerate of Indian businessmen. Better than Ashley? You must be joking though Geordies do like a curry! The pain goes on.... and on....
So it's howay the lads as England's national team slips further into the brown slimy stuff . What a way to run a pastime.
Chippy
Sunday 31 August 2008
Knobs 1 Royston 5
Divvint despair emm- I think Trevor's back next week. What else can one say.
We tended to be a side of disparate parts and not very well oiled parts at that. Except perhaps when we're in The Fox.
Thanks to those who stand in as keepers but for two games now we've given the oppo goals. Not to say we deserved anything from either game but the keeper position has been a mitigating factor. Still onward and upward. Steve Bull scored from the penalty spot and is now top scorer infinitesimally.
Matt got a lumpy eye from an errant elbow, JB and Steve persevered with last week's rib injuries, Dave was back from his holidays and was all over the pitch and and and......
I'm off to Newcastle for the week so not much else to report.
Thanks to Phil for reffing.
And isn't that Carlo A FUCKIN TOSSPOT. you heard it here first.
The comeback kid- in a minute.
We tended to be a side of disparate parts and not very well oiled parts at that. Except perhaps when we're in The Fox.
Thanks to those who stand in as keepers but for two games now we've given the oppo goals. Not to say we deserved anything from either game but the keeper position has been a mitigating factor. Still onward and upward. Steve Bull scored from the penalty spot and is now top scorer infinitesimally.
Matt got a lumpy eye from an errant elbow, JB and Steve persevered with last week's rib injuries, Dave was back from his holidays and was all over the pitch and and and......
I'm off to Newcastle for the week so not much else to report.
Thanks to Phil for reffing.
And isn't that Carlo A FUCKIN TOSSPOT. you heard it here first.
The comeback kid- in a minute.
Thursday 28 August 2008
August 24th Knobs 1 Walkern 4
No need to despair sae divvint ye fret me canny lads a thort yiz wornt si bad actually, ones each in thi second half when yiz gorra proper goalie like!
Walkern are always a competitive side, the've all played before. Last season we beat them twice and they beat us once 1-0. They got the rub of the green on Sunday, they did ping the ball around with some zest and their crosses from set pieces and open play were always in the right areas. Fair enough. I'm not saying they couldn't have scored on other occasions but the 4 goals they managed were serious individual errors. First one, how noone even went near the incoming player who had a free half volley on an open goal, I can't quite fathom. The next one I can cos I was at the heart of the action and a faint heart it was- goalie meanders leisurely toward through ball, committed forward gets there first and it's 2-0. Pathetic! The third was a poor pass out of defence, which was cut out in a central position by their bloke who audaciously strode forward and chipped the keeper with ease. Three feet and rising! Fuck me that's three. Yet I had thought we'd had some interesting moves in the course of the half. Any criticism would be that though they were probably suffering as much as us in this first game they were prepared to suffer that little bit more. We tended not to push out when we got possession, work done we think and we walk out. That's not good enough. When Chris was shouting "move out" I'm sure people could hear but weren't heeding. Pushing out and upfield is not a rest period it's an integral part of keeping a relevant, compact shape. Let's improve on this next weekend.
Second half much better. An excellent goal starting with Bill, in the left full back position, saw the ball quickly and accurately transferred to the right where John O'Boyle or John O' Me fuckinchestsknackered Boyle was having increasing joy (he was robbed of a goal in the first half). The said ball, for it was it, cutely arrived to Monsieur Bull who scored with aplomb. We conceded a 4th which was interesting and bizarre from my angle (John Twigg had gone into goal by the way) I was now watching and playing with a pretty little flag. Martin got injured, broken toe I reckon and the match faded away on a not so Elysian field.
I went off to deal with Ernie and Brenda and I've subsequently had a complaint about unlocked doors and gates and dirty corridors so something must be arranged to avoid our being tipped the black spot from the council.
Most of us toddled up to the cricket club for a couple afterwards together with the opposition. Very nice. Absentees Martin, broken toe, and Mark, why I know not!
Next week home to Royston with Garston at home the week after. Garston have made their usual request.
Ron 'I'll never don the gloves again' not Springett
Walkern are always a competitive side, the've all played before. Last season we beat them twice and they beat us once 1-0. They got the rub of the green on Sunday, they did ping the ball around with some zest and their crosses from set pieces and open play were always in the right areas. Fair enough. I'm not saying they couldn't have scored on other occasions but the 4 goals they managed were serious individual errors. First one, how noone even went near the incoming player who had a free half volley on an open goal, I can't quite fathom. The next one I can cos I was at the heart of the action and a faint heart it was- goalie meanders leisurely toward through ball, committed forward gets there first and it's 2-0. Pathetic! The third was a poor pass out of defence, which was cut out in a central position by their bloke who audaciously strode forward and chipped the keeper with ease. Three feet and rising! Fuck me that's three. Yet I had thought we'd had some interesting moves in the course of the half. Any criticism would be that though they were probably suffering as much as us in this first game they were prepared to suffer that little bit more. We tended not to push out when we got possession, work done we think and we walk out. That's not good enough. When Chris was shouting "move out" I'm sure people could hear but weren't heeding. Pushing out and upfield is not a rest period it's an integral part of keeping a relevant, compact shape. Let's improve on this next weekend.
Second half much better. An excellent goal starting with Bill, in the left full back position, saw the ball quickly and accurately transferred to the right where John O'Boyle or John O' Me fuckinchestsknackered Boyle was having increasing joy (he was robbed of a goal in the first half). The said ball, for it was it, cutely arrived to Monsieur Bull who scored with aplomb. We conceded a 4th which was interesting and bizarre from my angle (John Twigg had gone into goal by the way) I was now watching and playing with a pretty little flag. Martin got injured, broken toe I reckon and the match faded away on a not so Elysian field.
I went off to deal with Ernie and Brenda and I've subsequently had a complaint about unlocked doors and gates and dirty corridors so something must be arranged to avoid our being tipped the black spot from the council.
Most of us toddled up to the cricket club for a couple afterwards together with the opposition. Very nice. Absentees Martin, broken toe, and Mark, why I know not!
Next week home to Royston with Garston at home the week after. Garston have made their usual request.
Ron 'I'll never don the gloves again' not Springett
Thursday 5 June 2008
Presentation Evening
A successful evening at Ye Venerable Foxe attended by a good few regular players- apologies from Richard and Steve H, where were the others?
Noone disgraced themselves, well there was a bit of swearing but precious little headbutting, mud throwing or spitting.
Matt won a trophy for top goalscorer.
Roy won the trophy for Players' player of the Year.
Steve Bull won the trophy for Manager's Player of the Year.
Gavin had made three mugs, etched. One went to Steve Bull for most appearances in the season- an ever present! One went to John Boyle for his high output of administrative work and one went to Ron, as a spitton I believe.
Ron also received a T shirt with some gobbing references on it, he'll pass it on to next season's disgraceful activist.
Training will resume at the Rec in very near future.
Thank you and well done all.
Ron
Noone disgraced themselves, well there was a bit of swearing but precious little headbutting, mud throwing or spitting.
Matt won a trophy for top goalscorer.
Roy won the trophy for Players' player of the Year.
Steve Bull won the trophy for Manager's Player of the Year.
Gavin had made three mugs, etched. One went to Steve Bull for most appearances in the season- an ever present! One went to John Boyle for his high output of administrative work and one went to Ron, as a spitton I believe.
Ron also received a T shirt with some gobbing references on it, he'll pass it on to next season's disgraceful activist.
Training will resume at the Rec in very near future.
Thank you and well done all.
Ron
Tuesday 13 May 2008
Season Stats
We played a total of 32 games this season, winning 21, drawing 3 and losing 8. We scored a total of 91 goals and conceded 56.
Players who made 10 appearances or more (including coming on as sub) were as follows:
32 – Steve Bull
29 – Matt Peacock
25 – Brendan Wren
24 – John Boyle
24 – Roy Oakley
22 – Phil Wells
21 – Chris Griffiths
20 – Ron Crennell
20 – Trevor Hyatt
20 – Chris Wilson
19 - Dave Jordan
19 – Gavin Simpson
17 – Martin Byron-Grange
16 – Mark Mills
15 – Richard Curzon
14 – Steve Hammond
12 – John Twigg
10 – Mike Lisle
Other players who made appearances were:
8 – Bill Martin, 7 – Carl Harrow, 6 – Paul Crosby, 6 – Nick Mathers, 4 – Andy Mills, 2 – Dave Fish, 2 – Nigel Gallagher, 2 – Kenny Hogg, 2 – Jason Naylor, 2 – Peter Taylor, 1 – Rob Childs, 1 – Uncle Tom Cobley
The 91 goals were scored by:
29 - Matt Peacock
8 - Steve Bull
8 – Gavin Simpson
7 – Mike Lisle
6 – John Boyle
6 – Ron Crennell
5 – Richard Curzon
5 – Phil Wells
4 – Mark Mills
3 – John Twigg
3 – Chris Wilson
2 – Bill Martin
2 – Brendan Wren
1 – Martin Byron-Grange
1 – Dave Jordan
1 – Own Goal
The Fair Play League
The final league table is now available on the website at http://www.clubwebsite.co.uk/knebwortholdboysfootballclub/league_table.pl
Sandy won the league though half of their 24 points were obtained by being awarded points from forfeited games. In games played Sandy won 3, drew 3 and lost 2.
We were awarded points from 1 forfeited game and in games played won 6, drew 1 and lost 4.
Players who made 10 appearances or more (including coming on as sub) were as follows:
32 – Steve Bull
29 – Matt Peacock
25 – Brendan Wren
24 – John Boyle
24 – Roy Oakley
22 – Phil Wells
21 – Chris Griffiths
20 – Ron Crennell
20 – Trevor Hyatt
20 – Chris Wilson
19 - Dave Jordan
19 – Gavin Simpson
17 – Martin Byron-Grange
16 – Mark Mills
15 – Richard Curzon
14 – Steve Hammond
12 – John Twigg
10 – Mike Lisle
Other players who made appearances were:
8 – Bill Martin, 7 – Carl Harrow, 6 – Paul Crosby, 6 – Nick Mathers, 4 – Andy Mills, 2 – Dave Fish, 2 – Nigel Gallagher, 2 – Kenny Hogg, 2 – Jason Naylor, 2 – Peter Taylor, 1 – Rob Childs, 1 – Uncle Tom Cobley
The 91 goals were scored by:
29 - Matt Peacock
8 - Steve Bull
8 – Gavin Simpson
7 – Mike Lisle
6 – John Boyle
6 – Ron Crennell
5 – Richard Curzon
5 – Phil Wells
4 – Mark Mills
3 – John Twigg
3 – Chris Wilson
2 – Bill Martin
2 – Brendan Wren
1 – Martin Byron-Grange
1 – Dave Jordan
1 – Own Goal
The Fair Play League
The final league table is now available on the website at http://www.clubwebsite.co.uk/knebwortholdboysfootballclub/league_table.pl
Sandy won the league though half of their 24 points were obtained by being awarded points from forfeited games. In games played Sandy won 3, drew 3 and lost 2.
We were awarded points from 1 forfeited game and in games played won 6, drew 1 and lost 4.
Monday 12 May 2008
Knobs 7 Knebworth Dads and Coaches 1
A glorious day, totally unfit for the veteran type football, ended with victory and harmony.
Thanks to those who attended the Fox drinks and thanks to Malcolm for the chicken and etc.
Thanks to Paul, a proper referee, who reffed with effectiveness and humour. There were a few little disagreements needing ironing out from time to time- noffin serious. Well I was standing with a flag up me arse for most of the game so serious flashpoints were effectively and seriously curtailed.
First 20 minutes was competitive in the long grass. Apparently the council lawn mower is broken, anyone want to sponsor a new one?
A desperate, no, despairing, no ,...... dynamic and devastating save from Gavin, with his legs, kept us level. That boy stood up tall and brave!
Goal attempts by us were thwarted by their best player, the linesman, on numerous occasions, including a Brendan square ball for Mike to nod in! A Matt assist put Mark through and on this occasion he netted with aplomb. Matt put us 2-0 up before a steady move advanced down our right to be subsequently netted with a good cross shot. 2-1, which it stayed until half time.
With numerous officially granted drinks breaks and unofficial ones the match ground on. Offside decisions continued to effectively dominate. Offside Matt, yeah I know that bloke's playin you on but he's off the pitch having a drink. On other occasions the sneaky bugger would come back on and intercept. Matt scored another three for himself, lost a ball in a garden before Brendan SURGED forward to hit the sixth. To say he turned on the edge of area with the grace of the battleship Potemkin with a hole in its bottom was to praise his speed, but when he'd completed his pirouhette, with 5 degrees of difficulty, he toe poked accurately into the top corner. Unstoppable! At least Brendan was pleased. Matt scored another, yes he did!
The match wore on to its final denouement, Gavin shading under the sycamores, Richard (man of the match even ahead of 5 goal Matt) rampaging, Steve caressing balls onto careless heads, John bored and dreaming of Foxes to be and Brendan everywhere and nowhere baby, the season melted to an end. Thanks to all who participated and come on down next season and keep your ageing processes at bay.
A canny little turn out at the Fox from which I was rescued by Maggie, Brenda and Ernie ( Dave's dogs- Brenda and Ernie that is , Maggie is my......... better not go on). Did the rest get out before 11 this week?
"Training " outdoors on the Rec will be arranged shortly and a thoughts of the season blog will be forthcoming.
Ron, Brenda, Ernie and all my other little chums
Thanks to those who attended the Fox drinks and thanks to Malcolm for the chicken and etc.
Thanks to Paul, a proper referee, who reffed with effectiveness and humour. There were a few little disagreements needing ironing out from time to time- noffin serious. Well I was standing with a flag up me arse for most of the game so serious flashpoints were effectively and seriously curtailed.
First 20 minutes was competitive in the long grass. Apparently the council lawn mower is broken, anyone want to sponsor a new one?
A desperate, no, despairing, no ,...... dynamic and devastating save from Gavin, with his legs, kept us level. That boy stood up tall and brave!
Goal attempts by us were thwarted by their best player, the linesman, on numerous occasions, including a Brendan square ball for Mike to nod in! A Matt assist put Mark through and on this occasion he netted with aplomb. Matt put us 2-0 up before a steady move advanced down our right to be subsequently netted with a good cross shot. 2-1, which it stayed until half time.
With numerous officially granted drinks breaks and unofficial ones the match ground on. Offside decisions continued to effectively dominate. Offside Matt, yeah I know that bloke's playin you on but he's off the pitch having a drink. On other occasions the sneaky bugger would come back on and intercept. Matt scored another three for himself, lost a ball in a garden before Brendan SURGED forward to hit the sixth. To say he turned on the edge of area with the grace of the battleship Potemkin with a hole in its bottom was to praise his speed, but when he'd completed his pirouhette, with 5 degrees of difficulty, he toe poked accurately into the top corner. Unstoppable! At least Brendan was pleased. Matt scored another, yes he did!
The match wore on to its final denouement, Gavin shading under the sycamores, Richard (man of the match even ahead of 5 goal Matt) rampaging, Steve caressing balls onto careless heads, John bored and dreaming of Foxes to be and Brendan everywhere and nowhere baby, the season melted to an end. Thanks to all who participated and come on down next season and keep your ageing processes at bay.
A canny little turn out at the Fox from which I was rescued by Maggie, Brenda and Ernie ( Dave's dogs- Brenda and Ernie that is , Maggie is my......... better not go on). Did the rest get out before 11 this week?
"Training " outdoors on the Rec will be arranged shortly and a thoughts of the season blog will be forthcoming.
Ron, Brenda, Ernie and all my other little chums
Tuesday 6 May 2008
Crawley Green 0 Knobs 1
Ron's away at the British hockling championships and has asked me to fill in.
He is abjectly sorry for his performance on Sunday and has gone into analysis to attempt to understand what he did. He assures me nothing like that has happened before and will never happen again.
Very competitive game, better team won. Apparently they'd been whining on for months about only playing with golden oldies but the first half hour they seemed viagra driven or summat. Probably summat.
A good finish by Richard when played through against a good keeper (ex Watford apparently) proved the game's only goal.
Trevor- excellent handling, stopped everything coming his way.
JB- solid and adventurous.
Dave Fish excellent.
Chris W superb, effervescent and hard.
Phil hamstrung replaced by the late Brendan who proved rock solid showing the virtue of keeping an eye firmly on the ball.
Gavin irrepressible, several pacy surges thwarted by sometimes good and sometimes jammy keeping.
Steve always involved, some silky distribution, never overawed. A series of good corners, at least 10 with no threat offered in the goalmouth.
Peter T- a full 90 minutes will probably have left him a little stiff for the rest of the week or even month.
Dave J everywhere and nowhere baby, pushed, shoved, puffed and panted to effect. Some good defensive headers.
Martin another terrific game especially after ther first 10 minutes.
Well done you bonny lads.
Gazza
Who stole the cricketers' pies?
Nice beer in a packed club.
The a pleasant late noon in the Fox, where Trevor offered to sponsor next season's kit. Strong beer that!
John B, Gavin, Dave and Chris W apparently made it through till 10.30, interesting to have been a fly on the wall at the quiz! They popped to the Red Lion on the way home. There's stalwarts for you. Ron, Steve and Trevor couldn't last the pace.
He is abjectly sorry for his performance on Sunday and has gone into analysis to attempt to understand what he did. He assures me nothing like that has happened before and will never happen again.
Very competitive game, better team won. Apparently they'd been whining on for months about only playing with golden oldies but the first half hour they seemed viagra driven or summat. Probably summat.
A good finish by Richard when played through against a good keeper (ex Watford apparently) proved the game's only goal.
Trevor- excellent handling, stopped everything coming his way.
JB- solid and adventurous.
Dave Fish excellent.
Chris W superb, effervescent and hard.
Phil hamstrung replaced by the late Brendan who proved rock solid showing the virtue of keeping an eye firmly on the ball.
Gavin irrepressible, several pacy surges thwarted by sometimes good and sometimes jammy keeping.
Steve always involved, some silky distribution, never overawed. A series of good corners, at least 10 with no threat offered in the goalmouth.
Peter T- a full 90 minutes will probably have left him a little stiff for the rest of the week or even month.
Dave J everywhere and nowhere baby, pushed, shoved, puffed and panted to effect. Some good defensive headers.
Martin another terrific game especially after ther first 10 minutes.
Well done you bonny lads.
Gazza
Who stole the cricketers' pies?
Nice beer in a packed club.
The a pleasant late noon in the Fox, where Trevor offered to sponsor next season's kit. Strong beer that!
John B, Gavin, Dave and Chris W apparently made it through till 10.30, interesting to have been a fly on the wall at the quiz! They popped to the Red Lion on the way home. There's stalwarts for you. Ron, Steve and Trevor couldn't last the pace.
Monday 28 April 2008
Birchanger 5 yes 5 Knobs 1
Worrer game. A little coming down to earth mind after 6 or 7 wins on the trot. Mind you Gavin stayed at home to do marking!
We arrived late, John was getting some much needed beauty sleep and on a balmy morning we set out for 40 minutes each way gainst the agricultural but hard working Birchanger lads.
The pitch had dried out to the consistency of Palaeolithic coprolites and the first 15 minutes saw our passing game reduced to random chance as balls reared from the ground like hand grenades. This was a pitch for several touches before even contemplating a 2 yard pass. We got on top, honest, and went ahead from a Bully corner glanced into the far corner from a near post Brendan. Nearly had a second when a good move saw Matty agonisingly centimetres wide. We were coping , nae bother. Despite knowing a corner would land near post our lads failed to deal with it and a ricochet into the box saw it nodded home from 5 yards. 1-1.
Ron was in goal.
We fizzled to half time, with theoretically all the advantages for the second half. Roy had clattered himself in the first half, was he concussed, but in the first seconds of the second half they luckily inveigled from the left put in a cross which Roy sliced unerringly into the net, "You fucking cunt" oh I thought that's no way to talk to a keeper. We bumbled and bounced on, not making any notable chances in the last third. They broke and a shot bobblingly crossed the goal and into the net. This goalkeeper lark is not all that it's cracked out to be. Fucking hell.
Later they broke from the left and I was sure he couldn't score at the near post but the velocity!A touch would have been enough but I was nowhere near.
Brendan had another good near post header, unrewarded and a nifty back heel, you read it here!
They broke again, given the ball somewhat pathetically and another high velocity shot from close range made it 5 to them and fucking goodnight Irene to us. That shot hurt my fingers.
Apart from Sandy, last season, conceded 10, Ron has slightly improved, 5 against Ware, 5 against Birchanger but has decided to hang up his gloves, bring back youknowwhoey! Mind you only one against Goldings.
A nice little social club, good sandwiches and Bombardier at £1.50 a pint saw us outlast the oppo and we journeyed home satisfied and replete. Bill was that 100mph down the A10, my linings attest to that?
Some of us have played our last for the season, but for some there is a proper pitch next week against Crawley Green, Luton. Really looking forward to that. Then there is the Knebworth Dads at home before we store away our boots for the summer. It's been a canny season. Love you all.
Guardian de but
We arrived late, John was getting some much needed beauty sleep and on a balmy morning we set out for 40 minutes each way gainst the agricultural but hard working Birchanger lads.
The pitch had dried out to the consistency of Palaeolithic coprolites and the first 15 minutes saw our passing game reduced to random chance as balls reared from the ground like hand grenades. This was a pitch for several touches before even contemplating a 2 yard pass. We got on top, honest, and went ahead from a Bully corner glanced into the far corner from a near post Brendan. Nearly had a second when a good move saw Matty agonisingly centimetres wide. We were coping , nae bother. Despite knowing a corner would land near post our lads failed to deal with it and a ricochet into the box saw it nodded home from 5 yards. 1-1.
Ron was in goal.
We fizzled to half time, with theoretically all the advantages for the second half. Roy had clattered himself in the first half, was he concussed, but in the first seconds of the second half they luckily inveigled from the left put in a cross which Roy sliced unerringly into the net, "You fucking cunt" oh I thought that's no way to talk to a keeper. We bumbled and bounced on, not making any notable chances in the last third. They broke and a shot bobblingly crossed the goal and into the net. This goalkeeper lark is not all that it's cracked out to be. Fucking hell.
Later they broke from the left and I was sure he couldn't score at the near post but the velocity!A touch would have been enough but I was nowhere near.
Brendan had another good near post header, unrewarded and a nifty back heel, you read it here!
They broke again, given the ball somewhat pathetically and another high velocity shot from close range made it 5 to them and fucking goodnight Irene to us. That shot hurt my fingers.
Apart from Sandy, last season, conceded 10, Ron has slightly improved, 5 against Ware, 5 against Birchanger but has decided to hang up his gloves, bring back youknowwhoey! Mind you only one against Goldings.
A nice little social club, good sandwiches and Bombardier at £1.50 a pint saw us outlast the oppo and we journeyed home satisfied and replete. Bill was that 100mph down the A10, my linings attest to that?
Some of us have played our last for the season, but for some there is a proper pitch next week against Crawley Green, Luton. Really looking forward to that. Then there is the Knebworth Dads at home before we store away our boots for the summer. It's been a canny season. Love you all.
Guardian de but
Monday 21 April 2008
Knobs 4 Walkern 2
A fantastic result against a good side due to an all round team effort.
That's a mouthful or a fingerful depending on your perspective.
A topsy turvy beginning with Trevor and Mike dropping out on the morning (what are you two up to on Saturday nights?) and then Bill arriving with a congenital aigue. We were down to 12 against a very good but ageing footballing side but eventually prevailed. First 20 minutes they seemed to run us rotten and deservedly took a 1-0 lead but we did keep attacking and provide moments of purity ourselves before equalising. John Twigg advanced from full back and hit a cross to the edge of the area where Gavin chested down, Hearing a grunt from Matt he left it for Matt to rifle home top right hand corner, eye of a needle, from 20 yards. Another goal of the season. We were now awake and playing.
On 40 minutes they went ahead, a scrambled goal and they controlled the game again till half time.
Second half, I hate to say this, but youth prevailed, our youth.
We battered them incessantly, especially through the swift and leggy Gavin, but still we seemed to be struggling against a determined and crafty outfit. Gavin hit a post from 20 yards then Ron brought on utility man John Twigg. Did he score the equaliser or was it M. Boyle? I forget but it doesn't matter. John was put through and rifling his shot craftily toward the corner flag saw it ricochet from it's intended victim into the net, a great in -off. A freekick from M. Bull, ignoring a clever run from Chris, saw an impertinent header from M. Boyle career into the far corner of the net. We were on the rampage- I remember my last clarion call before leaving the field myself "they're fucking gone" at 1-2. And so they were and so was I. With John Boyle all over the pitch it was only a matter of time before he, we, scored another with one of his unerring 5 a side finishes for a deserved victory. Well done. And a vigorous, fair game which was a credit to Vets football.
Thanks to Bill for reffing, nutted not once, thanks to Phil for deputising ably in goal and thanks to you all for breathing.
A good session at the Fox (The Fox Maggie) where both teams turned up in force. Malcolm gave us pizza and chips this week, thank you.
With Newcastle v Makkems on the tele I missed two rounds awaiting her indoors arriving to lift me home. Much mirth! Eventually Brendan served me well. Maggie has spent the last two weeks waiting for me outside The Red Lion! For once I am in the right, Brownie points in their millions. Imagine she could be waiting for me still from last week if she was truly devoted !
Newcastle won.
Awards are being planned , by the Committee, for this season's efforts. Player of the season, Most ever- present of the season, especially a special award for anyone who has played every game, Clubman of the season, Goal of the Season, Fuck up of the season, Whiner of the season etc......
Bear this in mind.
Boondocks Ron
PS It was a penalty. When I threw myslf to head a JB lob in from point blank range it has been said by several chaps that I was barged in the back. I thought something was amiss when the ball glanced off my head. On politely, of course, asking Bill at half time how that never went in he said it was because I was barged in the back but it was too controversial to give a penalty! I benignly concurred. M. Boyle that should have been me ahead.
That's a mouthful or a fingerful depending on your perspective.
A topsy turvy beginning with Trevor and Mike dropping out on the morning (what are you two up to on Saturday nights?) and then Bill arriving with a congenital aigue. We were down to 12 against a very good but ageing footballing side but eventually prevailed. First 20 minutes they seemed to run us rotten and deservedly took a 1-0 lead but we did keep attacking and provide moments of purity ourselves before equalising. John Twigg advanced from full back and hit a cross to the edge of the area where Gavin chested down, Hearing a grunt from Matt he left it for Matt to rifle home top right hand corner, eye of a needle, from 20 yards. Another goal of the season. We were now awake and playing.
On 40 minutes they went ahead, a scrambled goal and they controlled the game again till half time.
Second half, I hate to say this, but youth prevailed, our youth.
We battered them incessantly, especially through the swift and leggy Gavin, but still we seemed to be struggling against a determined and crafty outfit. Gavin hit a post from 20 yards then Ron brought on utility man John Twigg. Did he score the equaliser or was it M. Boyle? I forget but it doesn't matter. John was put through and rifling his shot craftily toward the corner flag saw it ricochet from it's intended victim into the net, a great in -off. A freekick from M. Bull, ignoring a clever run from Chris, saw an impertinent header from M. Boyle career into the far corner of the net. We were on the rampage- I remember my last clarion call before leaving the field myself "they're fucking gone" at 1-2. And so they were and so was I. With John Boyle all over the pitch it was only a matter of time before he, we, scored another with one of his unerring 5 a side finishes for a deserved victory. Well done. And a vigorous, fair game which was a credit to Vets football.
Thanks to Bill for reffing, nutted not once, thanks to Phil for deputising ably in goal and thanks to you all for breathing.
A good session at the Fox (The Fox Maggie) where both teams turned up in force. Malcolm gave us pizza and chips this week, thank you.
With Newcastle v Makkems on the tele I missed two rounds awaiting her indoors arriving to lift me home. Much mirth! Eventually Brendan served me well. Maggie has spent the last two weeks waiting for me outside The Red Lion! For once I am in the right, Brownie points in their millions. Imagine she could be waiting for me still from last week if she was truly devoted !
Newcastle won.
Awards are being planned , by the Committee, for this season's efforts. Player of the season, Most ever- present of the season, especially a special award for anyone who has played every game, Clubman of the season, Goal of the Season, Fuck up of the season, Whiner of the season etc......
Bear this in mind.
Boondocks Ron
PS It was a penalty. When I threw myslf to head a JB lob in from point blank range it has been said by several chaps that I was barged in the back. I thought something was amiss when the ball glanced off my head. On politely, of course, asking Bill at half time how that never went in he said it was because I was barged in the back but it was too controversial to give a penalty! I benignly concurred. M. Boyle that should have been me ahead.
Monday 14 April 2008
Knobs 5 Old Pretenders 2
No snow, a welcoming change - yer soft southern ninnies, yi divvint caal what we've had snae di yi ?
A spare sort of team, Kevin didn't show for his season's debut but fortunately Phil made a comeback, at least fortunate for those who didn't mind his abrasive, chiselled 'encouragements' (the new Big Bob anybody?).
A goal down on a bouncy pitch with a new ball saw us struggle for cohesion. Too many attempts at playing pure football, one touch instead of controlling the ball and passing- a little slower perhaps but more certain. That fucker up front played like Johnny Haynes at 100 not £100 quid a week that is. Look up yer history books.
Gavin made several incisive runs in the first half before being upended for a penalty which Steve slotted with aplomb. 1-1. Steve then shot a ball up a tree but divvint worry they sent a dwarf orang utan up to retrieve it at half time. Well twas a new ball!
A Steve miscue fell a- wanting before asaid mentioned orang utan, ancient and grizzled, smacked in the rebound to give us a 2-1 lead.
Second half saw many more raids from a fleetfooted but coffeeless Gavin before one of his cutbacks from the by line was smashed helplessly home by their centreback, a man who wasn't so hapless later when flattening Matt as he rampaged goalwards. Freekick came to naught.
They scored again before a busy Ron ran in front of a Matty shot to divert it succinctly behind the line for 3-1. The og became the 4th. Two goals and a woz on a hattrick. Unfortunately Mark wasn't up to doing a spot of reffing to give Bill a run so yours truly had to sacrafice the opportunity of sextuaganarian glory and take over reffing himself. Thank you Mark I come from a long line of elephants! A goal for Matt was disallowed when I felt he was offside and took pity on a forest of opposition hands so claiming. Not in the mood for an argument on such a bounteous day the goal was disallowed and only Matt's ire had to be faced. The fifth goal was a pretty little move when Matt slotted a ball to Bill who finished with firmness, coolness and precision.
Roy fouled, Dave asthmaaaaaed, Brendan ran without caution and all was well in the world. Their man John played his final game at 60, didn't he look old- fucking hell what does this mean?
Someone stole the corner flags so a new monitor is required if they ever reappear.
We adjourned to the Fox and Malcolm's hospitality where even JB drank proper beer. A good turnout capped by suasages, onions and bread which was as welcome as it was unexpected. It almost felt like a pub, in fact it was!
Me back hurts, where was Kevin, and next week it's a tough game v Walkern at home, 1-1 results on the season, next game the winner.
Almost but not quite.
A spare sort of team, Kevin didn't show for his season's debut but fortunately Phil made a comeback, at least fortunate for those who didn't mind his abrasive, chiselled 'encouragements' (the new Big Bob anybody?).
A goal down on a bouncy pitch with a new ball saw us struggle for cohesion. Too many attempts at playing pure football, one touch instead of controlling the ball and passing- a little slower perhaps but more certain. That fucker up front played like Johnny Haynes at 100 not £100 quid a week that is. Look up yer history books.
Gavin made several incisive runs in the first half before being upended for a penalty which Steve slotted with aplomb. 1-1. Steve then shot a ball up a tree but divvint worry they sent a dwarf orang utan up to retrieve it at half time. Well twas a new ball!
A Steve miscue fell a- wanting before asaid mentioned orang utan, ancient and grizzled, smacked in the rebound to give us a 2-1 lead.
Second half saw many more raids from a fleetfooted but coffeeless Gavin before one of his cutbacks from the by line was smashed helplessly home by their centreback, a man who wasn't so hapless later when flattening Matt as he rampaged goalwards. Freekick came to naught.
They scored again before a busy Ron ran in front of a Matty shot to divert it succinctly behind the line for 3-1. The og became the 4th. Two goals and a woz on a hattrick. Unfortunately Mark wasn't up to doing a spot of reffing to give Bill a run so yours truly had to sacrafice the opportunity of sextuaganarian glory and take over reffing himself. Thank you Mark I come from a long line of elephants! A goal for Matt was disallowed when I felt he was offside and took pity on a forest of opposition hands so claiming. Not in the mood for an argument on such a bounteous day the goal was disallowed and only Matt's ire had to be faced. The fifth goal was a pretty little move when Matt slotted a ball to Bill who finished with firmness, coolness and precision.
Roy fouled, Dave asthmaaaaaed, Brendan ran without caution and all was well in the world. Their man John played his final game at 60, didn't he look old- fucking hell what does this mean?
Someone stole the corner flags so a new monitor is required if they ever reappear.
We adjourned to the Fox and Malcolm's hospitality where even JB drank proper beer. A good turnout capped by suasages, onions and bread which was as welcome as it was unexpected. It almost felt like a pub, in fact it was!
Me back hurts, where was Kevin, and next week it's a tough game v Walkern at home, 1-1 results on the season, next game the winner.
Almost but not quite.
Monday 7 April 2008
Knobs 3 Standon 1
We got a game in, thanks to my industriousness and meteorological foresight. That's enough about me, I'm still around- just.
The snow had disappeared from the pitch by the final whistle- what whistle, so we were vindicated in having a game despite having to adapt to unusual conditions, actually no more difficult than high winds, clarts up to yer neck or rock hard surfacess, was it ?
Chris refereed, well, I thought, despite 22 people undermining his efforts.
We won. Deservedly won. Against a team who don't like to be beaten by us. So well done the lads.
A first half saw us take the game to them and miss chances due to the conditions requiring power over any careful accuracy. We missed all the openings that were created due to not taking that extra pace or seven through the snow and making sure we hit the goal. Is this a farce I thought from my position of flag waverer? Will I be blamed for allowing this farce to take place?
But no, conditions eased I'm sure everyone would agree, conditions? Just get stuck in and overwhelm them. You could have been at home with a vacuum cleaner.
Second half saw goals from the desire to get closer in and score, as I said to Brendan it's only 2 or 3 yarders that will decide this game. Not helped by the fact that noone could kick the ball with any ferocity further than 5 or 6 yards.
A nice little move from a corner saw the ball squirt across te goaline before being converted by Mike. The second, a bit controversial, was hit in by Richard. Yes I wasn't up with play but the full back played everyone on and all the mouthings were water off a duck's arse to me, though as always I have to have my two pennorth of gobbing. Despite Steve's entreaties "sharrap Ron" and Phil's pulling me out of confrontations from the line I like to debate in pursuit of honesty, fair play and truth! They got back into the game from a controversial penalty, sorry Chris, when Steve, protecting his good looks, instinctively parried a blast toward his gob. Some almighty scrambles occasionally occurred in our goalmouth, a neat header from M. Boyle on the goal line, a back hurting intervention from Brendan and a host of aesthetic fouls, from my man of the match Roy, before we broke away and got our third. Gavin hitting the by line before Matty secured the victory we undoubtedly deserved.
On -off subs worked well, note Ron, ie me, didn't come on- this is incredible- to me, perhaps a sign of my growing old less than disgracefully. Mind you once I get that track suit on I find it hard these days to think of relinquishing it. Also that coffee Gavin brought, laced with whisky, I had 4 cups, more than made up for joining the fray. Sad!
Martin was nearly brought off when his son arrived and said his daughter was sick and was asking him to come home (mum was at church) but the heathen bastard decided to continue to play the game he loves and was contributing to so well. Kids are getting so powerful these days they must be shown their place. How is she Martin?
A full house in the pub, Standon and us, noone else in the place! The Station is dead, fuck off Green King!
An exciting night on Friday at the Spring meet. Excellent until I departed, omitting the Welwyn leg where the young ones departed to at 9.30. What happened then seems hazy but reports declare Gavin was on good form in one of Welwyn villages notorious gay pubs. The Fox at Woolmer very welcoming earlier.
Several games still to play keep up the youthful work you Knobbies!
Lon John Silver and the rest.
The snow had disappeared from the pitch by the final whistle- what whistle, so we were vindicated in having a game despite having to adapt to unusual conditions, actually no more difficult than high winds, clarts up to yer neck or rock hard surfacess, was it ?
Chris refereed, well, I thought, despite 22 people undermining his efforts.
We won. Deservedly won. Against a team who don't like to be beaten by us. So well done the lads.
A first half saw us take the game to them and miss chances due to the conditions requiring power over any careful accuracy. We missed all the openings that were created due to not taking that extra pace or seven through the snow and making sure we hit the goal. Is this a farce I thought from my position of flag waverer? Will I be blamed for allowing this farce to take place?
But no, conditions eased I'm sure everyone would agree, conditions? Just get stuck in and overwhelm them. You could have been at home with a vacuum cleaner.
Second half saw goals from the desire to get closer in and score, as I said to Brendan it's only 2 or 3 yarders that will decide this game. Not helped by the fact that noone could kick the ball with any ferocity further than 5 or 6 yards.
A nice little move from a corner saw the ball squirt across te goaline before being converted by Mike. The second, a bit controversial, was hit in by Richard. Yes I wasn't up with play but the full back played everyone on and all the mouthings were water off a duck's arse to me, though as always I have to have my two pennorth of gobbing. Despite Steve's entreaties "sharrap Ron" and Phil's pulling me out of confrontations from the line I like to debate in pursuit of honesty, fair play and truth! They got back into the game from a controversial penalty, sorry Chris, when Steve, protecting his good looks, instinctively parried a blast toward his gob. Some almighty scrambles occasionally occurred in our goalmouth, a neat header from M. Boyle on the goal line, a back hurting intervention from Brendan and a host of aesthetic fouls, from my man of the match Roy, before we broke away and got our third. Gavin hitting the by line before Matty secured the victory we undoubtedly deserved.
On -off subs worked well, note Ron, ie me, didn't come on- this is incredible- to me, perhaps a sign of my growing old less than disgracefully. Mind you once I get that track suit on I find it hard these days to think of relinquishing it. Also that coffee Gavin brought, laced with whisky, I had 4 cups, more than made up for joining the fray. Sad!
Martin was nearly brought off when his son arrived and said his daughter was sick and was asking him to come home (mum was at church) but the heathen bastard decided to continue to play the game he loves and was contributing to so well. Kids are getting so powerful these days they must be shown their place. How is she Martin?
A full house in the pub, Standon and us, noone else in the place! The Station is dead, fuck off Green King!
An exciting night on Friday at the Spring meet. Excellent until I departed, omitting the Welwyn leg where the young ones departed to at 9.30. What happened then seems hazy but reports declare Gavin was on good form in one of Welwyn villages notorious gay pubs. The Fox at Woolmer very welcoming earlier.
Several games still to play keep up the youthful work you Knobbies!
Lon John Silver and the rest.
Wednesday 19 March 2008
KNOBS FC Spring Team Meeting
A spring team meeting has been arranged for Friday 4th April starting at 6pm in The Red Lion public house in Woolmer Green (SG3 6JP). As previously the meeting will take the form of a pub crawl and will most likely move on to ale houses in Old Welwyn.
Meeting agenda items so far are:
1. The season so far
2. The dirtiest player in the team
Cheers and hope to see you there.
Meeting agenda items so far are:
1. The season so far
2. The dirtiest player in the team
Cheers and hope to see you there.
Monday 17 March 2008
Knobs 2 Goldcheats 0
The match, despite continuous overnight rain, was never in doubt, nor was the result when the true Vets got down to playing and gettin stuck in.
A hard first half, uphill into the teeth of wind and rain was hard,on a waterlogged treacherous surface yet we still made chances and ultimately took one from Mike to go in 1-0 up. We defended stoutly sometimes a little robustly and they were reduced to a few long range efforts all handled faultlessly by Trevor. A particularly stinging drive was brilliantly saved by their keeper from Mike and Nick rounded the keeper only to see his shot just cleared from the line.
I didn't think I was the dirtiest player on the pitch in the first half, I stand in thrall of Roy for that honour. Certainly I don't think I've been the dirtiest player for two years or so all part of the half time time tete a tete betwixt the referee and myself. Certainly I tripped their marauding ostrich and the mud I popped at his face was only a little piece but did he have to nut me? We shook hands and got on with it. It's aal part of the game which can be as much psychological as owt- puttin people off it's a great leveller. Their number seven had to be reined in, e was only about 25, and so he went from influential midfielder to outside left of Stevenage Road in very short order.
The second half saw them rarely threaten, two off target shots. With Gavin exhiliratingly at full stretch we could have won by more. One of his runs took him skimming over the mud into the area from where he slotted home the second. A third was in from Matty but at the last second the referee blew up for an injury to Dave in our six yard box. My fault. Dave had taken one in the nuts and I'd thought it was something serious!
Well despite being without our midfield strength, in the middle, we won the points. I'm content, time to retire now.
Everyone played really well but special mentions to a flawless performance from Steve Hammond when he came on- sorry you waited so long but you know the on-off sub tactic is not a winning one and Gavin for his mudsprinting with a ball under control!
Thank you to Alistair for reffing- it's a mug's game.
Napoleon.
A hard first half, uphill into the teeth of wind and rain was hard,on a waterlogged treacherous surface yet we still made chances and ultimately took one from Mike to go in 1-0 up. We defended stoutly sometimes a little robustly and they were reduced to a few long range efforts all handled faultlessly by Trevor. A particularly stinging drive was brilliantly saved by their keeper from Mike and Nick rounded the keeper only to see his shot just cleared from the line.
I didn't think I was the dirtiest player on the pitch in the first half, I stand in thrall of Roy for that honour. Certainly I don't think I've been the dirtiest player for two years or so all part of the half time time tete a tete betwixt the referee and myself. Certainly I tripped their marauding ostrich and the mud I popped at his face was only a little piece but did he have to nut me? We shook hands and got on with it. It's aal part of the game which can be as much psychological as owt- puttin people off it's a great leveller. Their number seven had to be reined in, e was only about 25, and so he went from influential midfielder to outside left of Stevenage Road in very short order.
The second half saw them rarely threaten, two off target shots. With Gavin exhiliratingly at full stretch we could have won by more. One of his runs took him skimming over the mud into the area from where he slotted home the second. A third was in from Matty but at the last second the referee blew up for an injury to Dave in our six yard box. My fault. Dave had taken one in the nuts and I'd thought it was something serious!
Well despite being without our midfield strength, in the middle, we won the points. I'm content, time to retire now.
Everyone played really well but special mentions to a flawless performance from Steve Hammond when he came on- sorry you waited so long but you know the on-off sub tactic is not a winning one and Gavin for his mudsprinting with a ball under control!
Thank you to Alistair for reffing- it's a mug's game.
Napoleon.
Monday 10 March 2008
Knobs 1.75 Welwyn Pegasus 0
An excellent performance and a deserved win.
A match punctuated by lengthy stoppages as they slowly and boringly rang the changes on and off, but mainly off, of their 15 man squad. An early free kick from 32.67 yards was beautifully rifled into the top corner by M. Bull ( eat your old heart out Mr. Mills). This lead lasted until the final nanoseconds when a Knobs break of 6 against 2 led to to a John Twigg tap in. Their linesman who never moved from the half way line, so engrossed was he in conversation with his mates, had belatedly flagged for offside but I, the referee, had ignored him as someone of little consequence to the game by then, and play continued. I was gonna blow for full time anyway, it was well over. Anyway a ball was played forward and M. Twigg rushed on to plant it home 2-0. I thought it was a goal, two of their lot said it was offside, forward pass, but the solution was to blow the final whistle, us winning rightly 1-0 at least. Twiggy says he ran onto the forward played ball and I believe him. So to me it was 2-0 but who the fuck cares.
An excellent first half performance not matched in the second half going downslope when we rarely attacked them. Mind Brendan was through from the half way line , he advanced, checked, advanced , checked , advanced and finally toe poked fruitlessly. He said he succumbed to cramp in his moment of beckoning glory!
Roy advanced threateningly over the half way line before being trapped on the ground by the octopus tackle that left him screaming. We thought the worst from such an exhalation but in moments he was back as curmudgeonly as ever in the back four! The boy who screamed wolf.
They hit the bar and the ball ricocheted from the goalline, Trevor pulled off a few eye catching saves and the team fought well for a deserved victory.
Half of that energy and impetus against Kempston would have sufficed.
Good performances from Nick, John T, Steve B, Chris, Roy, Trevor, Matt, Martin, oh and also Dave, Steve H, Brendan and Paul. Well done the lot of you.
Next week crucial league match home to Goldcheats. Be up for it you who are available.
Welwyn want a revenge game which I have tentatively arranged for late May- pitch availability depending.
Goodish turnout in pub- 9 of us, three of them. No grub. Thank the Lord!
The referee
A match punctuated by lengthy stoppages as they slowly and boringly rang the changes on and off, but mainly off, of their 15 man squad. An early free kick from 32.67 yards was beautifully rifled into the top corner by M. Bull ( eat your old heart out Mr. Mills). This lead lasted until the final nanoseconds when a Knobs break of 6 against 2 led to to a John Twigg tap in. Their linesman who never moved from the half way line, so engrossed was he in conversation with his mates, had belatedly flagged for offside but I, the referee, had ignored him as someone of little consequence to the game by then, and play continued. I was gonna blow for full time anyway, it was well over. Anyway a ball was played forward and M. Twigg rushed on to plant it home 2-0. I thought it was a goal, two of their lot said it was offside, forward pass, but the solution was to blow the final whistle, us winning rightly 1-0 at least. Twiggy says he ran onto the forward played ball and I believe him. So to me it was 2-0 but who the fuck cares.
An excellent first half performance not matched in the second half going downslope when we rarely attacked them. Mind Brendan was through from the half way line , he advanced, checked, advanced , checked , advanced and finally toe poked fruitlessly. He said he succumbed to cramp in his moment of beckoning glory!
Roy advanced threateningly over the half way line before being trapped on the ground by the octopus tackle that left him screaming. We thought the worst from such an exhalation but in moments he was back as curmudgeonly as ever in the back four! The boy who screamed wolf.
They hit the bar and the ball ricocheted from the goalline, Trevor pulled off a few eye catching saves and the team fought well for a deserved victory.
Half of that energy and impetus against Kempston would have sufficed.
Good performances from Nick, John T, Steve B, Chris, Roy, Trevor, Matt, Martin, oh and also Dave, Steve H, Brendan and Paul. Well done the lot of you.
Next week crucial league match home to Goldcheats. Be up for it you who are available.
Welwyn want a revenge game which I have tentatively arranged for late May- pitch availability depending.
Goodish turnout in pub- 9 of us, three of them. No grub. Thank the Lord!
The referee
Sunday 2 March 2008
Sandy v Knobs cancelled
Too many mothers and too few babysitters led to an early cancellation of this league fixture.
Injuries and lethargy are also starting to make trheir presence felt. A nice home fixture against
a strong Welwyn Pegasus side next week should bring a few of you out of the woodwork.
Will Newcastle go down? Probably not.
Anyone fancy a turn at reffing next week, I fancy a trot out.
Ronald
Injuries and lethargy are also starting to make trheir presence felt. A nice home fixture against
a strong Welwyn Pegasus side next week should bring a few of you out of the woodwork.
Will Newcastle go down? Probably not.
Anyone fancy a turn at reffing next week, I fancy a trot out.
Ronald
Monday 25 February 2008
Knobs 1 Kempston 2
As forecast on a blog comment, 1-2! This against a side who could play football at a snail's pace but perhaps that was what was needed on an unpredictable, bouncy pitch.
We were poor despite having several good chances to forge ahead and win after being 0-2 down.
Matt scored with a rasping shot so welcome back to the goals' trail.
I apologise for giving them their second goal. I guess I wasn't on the planet when Gavin was barged in the back in middair! Split second, I guess I thought he dropped it under pressure and then once given I couldn't give a free kick or their argumentative tossers would have gone bananas or even papayas and I didn't want that. Perhaps again I am harking back to my youth when the likes of Lofthouse and McParland's challenges on the goalie were acceptable in the original spirit of the game! Lord Kinnaird's challenge "shall we have hacking" has always been my mantra. Anyway I thought it was only a matter of time before we got our act together and scored six or seven. Twas not to be so, I influenced the game. As for that new stopwatch it's a fascinating little object I've been playing with it ever since- think I've got the hang of it. Certainly took my mind off the match- is it still going? what happens if it stops, and what's that compass doing on it? Oh it's facing north, I'm off yem, a wonder wot me da's hevvin fer dinner. Great Yorkshire puddins, shag end of lamb an tatties. Wonder what Gazza's doin?
Oh back to the game. We didn't play at our own tempo, which would have been far too much for them, until late in the first half and for pockets of the second. We tended to get very frustrated at the vagaries of the pitches bounce, frustrated with each other and frustrated with some of the mad mouthings of some of the snails.
Bill played well when he came on for them showing that their way of playing suited him more than ours. We must play to our strengths and on this pitch quick passing to the first call for the ball isn't necessarily one of them. Just take our time a little!
Which brings me to one notable absence in our performance yesterday- "talking to each other".
It was awfully quiet out there. A few meaningful calls will always be of assistance, a name to alert the receiver when you're about to pass to him, "time", "man on" even "man overboard" might be better than nowt. And remember the person calling for a pass is theoretically an option not a divine command. If you want to control the ball properly before you attempt to pass, it's probably a better option, certainly on a bouncy pitch.
Next week it's Sandy away in the league. The pitch will be worse in bounce than yesterdays and it's small, narrow and bog filled down one half. You still fancy going up there? Of course you do.
Let's get together and give them a game. A few key absences in personnel, a few challenges there- ideas welcome as always.
Training at Odyssey and gym on Tuesday and Thursday might be a good idea in light of next weeek's game. There's a lot of matches left yet. And remember, every hole's a goal and when yer gettin on every game's a treasure to savour there may not be many left for you before you take up zimmer racing, and that is a sad thought.
Ron
We were poor despite having several good chances to forge ahead and win after being 0-2 down.
Matt scored with a rasping shot so welcome back to the goals' trail.
I apologise for giving them their second goal. I guess I wasn't on the planet when Gavin was barged in the back in middair! Split second, I guess I thought he dropped it under pressure and then once given I couldn't give a free kick or their argumentative tossers would have gone bananas or even papayas and I didn't want that. Perhaps again I am harking back to my youth when the likes of Lofthouse and McParland's challenges on the goalie were acceptable in the original spirit of the game! Lord Kinnaird's challenge "shall we have hacking" has always been my mantra. Anyway I thought it was only a matter of time before we got our act together and scored six or seven. Twas not to be so, I influenced the game. As for that new stopwatch it's a fascinating little object I've been playing with it ever since- think I've got the hang of it. Certainly took my mind off the match- is it still going? what happens if it stops, and what's that compass doing on it? Oh it's facing north, I'm off yem, a wonder wot me da's hevvin fer dinner. Great Yorkshire puddins, shag end of lamb an tatties. Wonder what Gazza's doin?
Oh back to the game. We didn't play at our own tempo, which would have been far too much for them, until late in the first half and for pockets of the second. We tended to get very frustrated at the vagaries of the pitches bounce, frustrated with each other and frustrated with some of the mad mouthings of some of the snails.
Bill played well when he came on for them showing that their way of playing suited him more than ours. We must play to our strengths and on this pitch quick passing to the first call for the ball isn't necessarily one of them. Just take our time a little!
Which brings me to one notable absence in our performance yesterday- "talking to each other".
It was awfully quiet out there. A few meaningful calls will always be of assistance, a name to alert the receiver when you're about to pass to him, "time", "man on" even "man overboard" might be better than nowt. And remember the person calling for a pass is theoretically an option not a divine command. If you want to control the ball properly before you attempt to pass, it's probably a better option, certainly on a bouncy pitch.
Next week it's Sandy away in the league. The pitch will be worse in bounce than yesterdays and it's small, narrow and bog filled down one half. You still fancy going up there? Of course you do.
Let's get together and give them a game. A few key absences in personnel, a few challenges there- ideas welcome as always.
Training at Odyssey and gym on Tuesday and Thursday might be a good idea in light of next weeek's game. There's a lot of matches left yet. And remember, every hole's a goal and when yer gettin on every game's a treasure to savour there may not be many left for you before you take up zimmer racing, and that is a sad thought.
Ron
Friday 22 February 2008
League Table
The league table is now available on the website at http://www.clubwebsite.co.uk/knebwortholdboysfootballclub/league_table.pl
We are currently top of the league a point ahead of Goldings who have a game in hand but who we play at home on the 16th March.
Sandy also have a game in hand so our game away to them on the 2nd March is very important. As far as I know we always give them a good game at their place and we have been extremely unlucky to come away empty handed on our last 2 visits. Well that's what the bloke down the pub told me!
We are currently top of the league a point ahead of Goldings who have a game in hand but who we play at home on the 16th March.
Sandy also have a game in hand so our game away to them on the 2nd March is very important. As far as I know we always give them a good game at their place and we have been extremely unlucky to come away empty handed on our last 2 visits. Well that's what the bloke down the pub told me!
Sunday 17 February 2008
Knobs 8 phonecalls made Vintage Dundee 0 phonecalls
Thanks a bunch guys. A simple thing like yes or no on Monday or Tuesday at the latest and they couldn't manage it. Oh well this is the much vaunted, technologically white hot society that we live in. Efficient, progressive and brimming with an optimism that we are in total control. In wi canna mak a fookin phonecaal. It widna a heppened afore Thatcherism set in. Ah well just calm doon bonny lad, hev yer Horlicks or yer Ovaltine in pull the covers ower yi heid. I just might dae that!
Wrinkled prune
Wrinkled prune
Monday 11 February 2008
Ware 5 Knobs 1
This should be short,succinct and to the point.
Three league points dropped. We weren't that bad. I feel we could have defended much more energetically but ultimately our lack of a goalkeeper probably was the crucial difference.
Perhaps I'm being a bit harsh on myself and too charitable to some of the outfield play but probably not.
The first goal conceded hardly set us up for greater things. "Come on ball crawl and bobble this way, look there's the corner of the net, no not there, over there, get in there I won't touch you" and it did and I didn't (touch it that is). Well that would have required me bending down, leisurely and picking it up. Well the effort was beyond me. 1-0.
Other goals sailed in, probably Trevor would have been more active in preventing the third reaching their man on the line, who knows. But half time saw us 4-0 behind.
Attacking repeatedly in the first half of the second half saw us carve out several chances but only one was converted- by Gavin. A second half win 1-0 was spoiled by a handball and a penalty late on and that on a sunny morning was that sunny Jim!
A cosy pub, excellent rolls and Lakeland beer raised the spirits and we go onward and hopefully upwards against Vintage Dundee, a very good side, next Sunday.
Blind Pew
Three league points dropped. We weren't that bad. I feel we could have defended much more energetically but ultimately our lack of a goalkeeper probably was the crucial difference.
Perhaps I'm being a bit harsh on myself and too charitable to some of the outfield play but probably not.
The first goal conceded hardly set us up for greater things. "Come on ball crawl and bobble this way, look there's the corner of the net, no not there, over there, get in there I won't touch you" and it did and I didn't (touch it that is). Well that would have required me bending down, leisurely and picking it up. Well the effort was beyond me. 1-0.
Other goals sailed in, probably Trevor would have been more active in preventing the third reaching their man on the line, who knows. But half time saw us 4-0 behind.
Attacking repeatedly in the first half of the second half saw us carve out several chances but only one was converted- by Gavin. A second half win 1-0 was spoiled by a handball and a penalty late on and that on a sunny morning was that sunny Jim!
A cosy pub, excellent rolls and Lakeland beer raised the spirits and we go onward and hopefully upwards against Vintage Dundee, a very good side, next Sunday.
Blind Pew
Sunday 3 February 2008
Saints 2 Knobs 3
A hard won 3 points in the league which we deserved on the shitheap which passes for a football pitch in St Albans.
Chris G's withdrawal was blamed on John Boyle and rightly so and we persevered with the remaining bodies present.
A measured first twenty minutes, kicking up the Eiger, saw us comfortably ahead from a powerful Steve Bull drive from distance, parried over his head by an eccentric keeper.
A long punt forward carried by the brisk wind and was then headed goalwards by Roy, wrongfooting Trevor, to give them an undeserved equaliser. Mind you Trevor had made an earlier save from point blank range from their only previous attack. Fuck me Ivory Coast have just scored.
A poor second goal from Saints from a punt into the box which bounced off their bloke's cerebellum was poor reward for our efforts. Then again a really fantastic save from Trevor, again in a one to one, meant that we turned round with the wind in our favour only 2-1 down.
Gavin, coming on as an impact player (his phrase) after half an hour terrorised them for the remainder of the game. And he didn't seem to have time for a manicure before this week's set to!
Second half they rarely troubled us until they asserted themselves physically in the final 10 minutes. By then we'd gone 3-2 ahead. A pathetic hack on Richard, in an unthreatening position, gave us a soft penalty, chucklingly accepted then sweetly converted by Steve. A Matty chance looked to have gone but fell to Richard who converted easily. Despite losing two players to hamstring anomalies we held on well. Good old Ron, coming on with 10 minutes left- YES only 10 minutes left or was it 9 almost scored our 4th with a sweet shot before Matt's passing arse intervened and converted for a goal kick.
Brendan reckons Dave's a dirty bastard- on reflection perhaps I might agree, but he's our dirty bastard. Dave having upset that bloke up on the top line for the umpteenth time, the fella took his revenge out on Roy who was felled like a log. I couldn't believe it that wiz Roy lying supine in t'mud. Shamming surely! Tempers settled down and sweetness and light and camaraderie were to the fore in the pub later, where 10 of us supped Timothy Taylor and other swill. I believe some stalwarts continued the bonding in the Station later- tis what vets club football is all about.
Thank you last week to those of you who put the nets up before the game, stayed to take them down after the game, cleaned out the changing rooms, paid their subs and went to the pub to fraternise with the opposition as well as slaking their own thirst.
Some good performances this week, none better than the resurgent John Boyle, a fine game at right back. What he's surging back from I'm no so sure.
Next week it's Ware away in the league. We beat them in a very physical game last time so we're gonna have to be up for this one. Do exercise this coming week.
Napoleon on Elba and plotting.......
Chris G's withdrawal was blamed on John Boyle and rightly so and we persevered with the remaining bodies present.
A measured first twenty minutes, kicking up the Eiger, saw us comfortably ahead from a powerful Steve Bull drive from distance, parried over his head by an eccentric keeper.
A long punt forward carried by the brisk wind and was then headed goalwards by Roy, wrongfooting Trevor, to give them an undeserved equaliser. Mind you Trevor had made an earlier save from point blank range from their only previous attack. Fuck me Ivory Coast have just scored.
A poor second goal from Saints from a punt into the box which bounced off their bloke's cerebellum was poor reward for our efforts. Then again a really fantastic save from Trevor, again in a one to one, meant that we turned round with the wind in our favour only 2-1 down.
Gavin, coming on as an impact player (his phrase) after half an hour terrorised them for the remainder of the game. And he didn't seem to have time for a manicure before this week's set to!
Second half they rarely troubled us until they asserted themselves physically in the final 10 minutes. By then we'd gone 3-2 ahead. A pathetic hack on Richard, in an unthreatening position, gave us a soft penalty, chucklingly accepted then sweetly converted by Steve. A Matty chance looked to have gone but fell to Richard who converted easily. Despite losing two players to hamstring anomalies we held on well. Good old Ron, coming on with 10 minutes left- YES only 10 minutes left or was it 9 almost scored our 4th with a sweet shot before Matt's passing arse intervened and converted for a goal kick.
Brendan reckons Dave's a dirty bastard- on reflection perhaps I might agree, but he's our dirty bastard. Dave having upset that bloke up on the top line for the umpteenth time, the fella took his revenge out on Roy who was felled like a log. I couldn't believe it that wiz Roy lying supine in t'mud. Shamming surely! Tempers settled down and sweetness and light and camaraderie were to the fore in the pub later, where 10 of us supped Timothy Taylor and other swill. I believe some stalwarts continued the bonding in the Station later- tis what vets club football is all about.
Thank you last week to those of you who put the nets up before the game, stayed to take them down after the game, cleaned out the changing rooms, paid their subs and went to the pub to fraternise with the opposition as well as slaking their own thirst.
Some good performances this week, none better than the resurgent John Boyle, a fine game at right back. What he's surging back from I'm no so sure.
Next week it's Ware away in the league. We beat them in a very physical game last time so we're gonna have to be up for this one. Do exercise this coming week.
Napoleon on Elba and plotting.......
Monday 28 January 2008
Knobs 1 Therfield 0 Part two
Where was I before a shave, makes you feel less end of the worldish pinioned as you are at the end of a razor blade, a crap and a shoeshine.
A struggling victory- aftermath of festive season? No that was the Old Owens game which we won 3-0. Chopping and changing personnel (16 of us) well even the first 25 minutes, pre- the first of the 'all-off mind the step' exchanges, we were terrible. Even I was terrible, plodding round with me tin whistle and me birro paper with endless permutations as to how 16 went into 90 with equal shares for all, so much so that I kept forgeetin I wa supposed to be reffing. Not that that made a great deal of difference, a shepherd's crook and wor dog would have been more suitable- "over here, stand there, tackle that , kick this and don't piss against that bush".
Anyway we won. Also a little known fact. John Boyle aged 40 going on 41, the day of Spurs attendance at Wembley next month, scored the goal. Not only that, but this was the first time in those lost aeons that John had scored a winning goal in any match he'd played in! You know Vets football makes sense.
Performances: Well most, over the piece, did some things which were good and they will individually remember these glowing contributions. But surrounding the islets of goodness was the big bad ocean of mediocrity, nay crapness. Hence the word inconsistency should be aimed squarely and fairly at them.
A bumpy pitch, drying out is never conducive to slick, effortless football- it has to be worked on and overcome. These pitches come up every year at this time but folk never get used to them. Only Premier teams get all year round bowling greens- so divvint watch that stuff to improve. Ronaldo would struggle on some of the stuff we go out to graze on. Frustration sets in with each other when it is really a lack of adaptability to the playing surface which is the cause. After 10 minutes everyone starts avoiding proper achievable passing and starts to cut out the middlemen by attempting killer balls. Inevitably many of these ambitious efforts, if not all of them, go astray- result shitey play and even more indidualist efforts. Then it's aal doon hill.
Not to say there weren't moments of brightness amid the gloom, there were, but only for moments.
The goal was a relief, when John lashed in an unstoppable shot from the narrowest of angles, high into the roof of the net- does it all the time on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Palpable relief illustrated what a crap showing this was.
Not that there were not highlights and solid performances. Brendan played an excellent game, rarely a tackle missed. John Twigg was peerless and his distribution proved simple and excellent. Chris Wilson played as a relentless chain saw at the back as one would expect. Dave came on and once he'd got his sea legs it was all 'ahoy there me hearties'.
Not as much energy as one would expect by the way, all round.
I was gonna yap on about some of the negatives, with an eye for positive improvement, but am afraid some might take it the wrong way. Anyway it's two league games on the trot and this might be the be all and end all of our adventure in those parts. Keep up the morale, howay the lads yer berra than last week's performance.
Knobs summer tour to Norfolk in the offing- watch this space. May it'll be. No the month of May it'll be. Maybe.
Divvint believe ivvrything yi read aboot Wor Kev in the papers by the way- roll on August!
Rip van Whistle
A struggling victory- aftermath of festive season? No that was the Old Owens game which we won 3-0. Chopping and changing personnel (16 of us) well even the first 25 minutes, pre- the first of the 'all-off mind the step' exchanges, we were terrible. Even I was terrible, plodding round with me tin whistle and me birro paper with endless permutations as to how 16 went into 90 with equal shares for all, so much so that I kept forgeetin I wa supposed to be reffing. Not that that made a great deal of difference, a shepherd's crook and wor dog would have been more suitable- "over here, stand there, tackle that , kick this and don't piss against that bush".
Anyway we won. Also a little known fact. John Boyle aged 40 going on 41, the day of Spurs attendance at Wembley next month, scored the goal. Not only that, but this was the first time in those lost aeons that John had scored a winning goal in any match he'd played in! You know Vets football makes sense.
Performances: Well most, over the piece, did some things which were good and they will individually remember these glowing contributions. But surrounding the islets of goodness was the big bad ocean of mediocrity, nay crapness. Hence the word inconsistency should be aimed squarely and fairly at them.
A bumpy pitch, drying out is never conducive to slick, effortless football- it has to be worked on and overcome. These pitches come up every year at this time but folk never get used to them. Only Premier teams get all year round bowling greens- so divvint watch that stuff to improve. Ronaldo would struggle on some of the stuff we go out to graze on. Frustration sets in with each other when it is really a lack of adaptability to the playing surface which is the cause. After 10 minutes everyone starts avoiding proper achievable passing and starts to cut out the middlemen by attempting killer balls. Inevitably many of these ambitious efforts, if not all of them, go astray- result shitey play and even more indidualist efforts. Then it's aal doon hill.
Not to say there weren't moments of brightness amid the gloom, there were, but only for moments.
The goal was a relief, when John lashed in an unstoppable shot from the narrowest of angles, high into the roof of the net- does it all the time on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Palpable relief illustrated what a crap showing this was.
Not that there were not highlights and solid performances. Brendan played an excellent game, rarely a tackle missed. John Twigg was peerless and his distribution proved simple and excellent. Chris Wilson played as a relentless chain saw at the back as one would expect. Dave came on and once he'd got his sea legs it was all 'ahoy there me hearties'.
Not as much energy as one would expect by the way, all round.
I was gonna yap on about some of the negatives, with an eye for positive improvement, but am afraid some might take it the wrong way. Anyway it's two league games on the trot and this might be the be all and end all of our adventure in those parts. Keep up the morale, howay the lads yer berra than last week's performance.
Knobs summer tour to Norfolk in the offing- watch this space. May it'll be. No the month of May it'll be. Maybe.
Divvint believe ivvrything yi read aboot Wor Kev in the papers by the way- roll on August!
Rip van Whistle
Knobs 1 Therfield 0
Shite, win, shag and a shoeshine.
All content except perhaps two. For the rest of my tenure I am inured to aught but football. If you play shite or you can't play do what I do in my modest way don't play- they reckon gardening and TV regarding is good in one's dotage.
How double dare they!
More to follow, JB scored.
Dumpling
All content except perhaps two. For the rest of my tenure I am inured to aught but football. If you play shite or you can't play do what I do in my modest way don't play- they reckon gardening and TV regarding is good in one's dotage.
How double dare they!
More to follow, JB scored.
Dumpling
Monday 21 January 2008
Sandy v Knobs
Postponed due to waterlogged swamp.
Newcastle game was utter crap, but what did yer expect. Only for football devotees ie people who like watching football not simply the so called best. Thought McDermott did alright though- he always does.
Newcastle game was utter crap, but what did yer expect. Only for football devotees ie people who like watching football not simply the so called best. Thought McDermott did alright though- he always does.
Monday 14 January 2008
Royston 1 Knobs 0
I don't need to put a gloss on this defeat. It was undeserved, a draw definitely a fair result and well done to all who participated on a droublie, dreich January day.
Gavin acquitted himself very well in goal, arriving as he did with flask of coffee, a most unusual piece of equipment for a goalkeeper, anywhere at any time!
I was really looking forward to playing in this game but kept myself on the sidelines throughout with only a puny linesman's flag for company. I suppose I was instrumental in their win failing to flag their bloke offside as he went on to score the game's only goal. He was onside, by a whisker, so there we are. Pity their bloke didn't reciprocate on a few occasions when less than whiskers and obvious bits of Euclidean geometry were involved but there you are. Perhaps he was blind or daft or both. Anyway I felt we missed a few chances which were well created so that errant flags and bias should , perhaps, not have been an issue. There we go, next week Sandy and a birro bias will all too evident on this particular day.
Roy, man of the match, played valiantly with a huge ugly lump on his leg- he's not available against Sandy. John played with a fat knee and at half time, the body has to be respected, was replaced by Bill who performed very creditably at right back. Dave got into some ongoing spat with some skinny shit on their side but perhaps the bloke took umbrage at Dave's visage, with two boiled eggs gone bad masquerading as cheeks. What was he on? Phil's legs took a bit of a savaging, I rushed my tracksuit off only to slowly replace it and gan back to a birro warmth.
A canny little drink, at least for me, in their steel shuttered clubhouse and then yem for another shag end of Sunday day.
Other mentions- terrific tackle by Chris Griffiths at 0-0, Matt skimmed the bar, Steve does best from deep, Dave played well despite...... , Richard did an excellent performing seal act with head and ball, superglue on the bonce?, Chris W is becoming a birrova bite-yer-legs character, I like that, these vets don't like it up em. Oh yes and Mark Mills did very well defensively.
Toodle pip
Finished.
Gavin acquitted himself very well in goal, arriving as he did with flask of coffee, a most unusual piece of equipment for a goalkeeper, anywhere at any time!
I was really looking forward to playing in this game but kept myself on the sidelines throughout with only a puny linesman's flag for company. I suppose I was instrumental in their win failing to flag their bloke offside as he went on to score the game's only goal. He was onside, by a whisker, so there we are. Pity their bloke didn't reciprocate on a few occasions when less than whiskers and obvious bits of Euclidean geometry were involved but there you are. Perhaps he was blind or daft or both. Anyway I felt we missed a few chances which were well created so that errant flags and bias should , perhaps, not have been an issue. There we go, next week Sandy and a birro bias will all too evident on this particular day.
Roy, man of the match, played valiantly with a huge ugly lump on his leg- he's not available against Sandy. John played with a fat knee and at half time, the body has to be respected, was replaced by Bill who performed very creditably at right back. Dave got into some ongoing spat with some skinny shit on their side but perhaps the bloke took umbrage at Dave's visage, with two boiled eggs gone bad masquerading as cheeks. What was he on? Phil's legs took a bit of a savaging, I rushed my tracksuit off only to slowly replace it and gan back to a birro warmth.
A canny little drink, at least for me, in their steel shuttered clubhouse and then yem for another shag end of Sunday day.
Other mentions- terrific tackle by Chris Griffiths at 0-0, Matt skimmed the bar, Steve does best from deep, Dave played well despite...... , Richard did an excellent performing seal act with head and ball, superglue on the bonce?, Chris W is becoming a birrova bite-yer-legs character, I like that, these vets don't like it up em. Oh yes and Mark Mills did very well defensively.
Toodle pip
Finished.
Monday 7 January 2008
Old Owens 0 Knobs 3
Happy New Year and winning again.
I'd been away walking the Pembrokeshire Coastal Path and didn't expect to play but on the day I did due to illness of youngsters and non availability. It was enjoyable to enter 2008 pulling on the kit alongside other enthusiasts and winning-easily- to boot.
A sluggish game, obvious reasons, together with clashing strips, they wore red we wore orange, a hellish low lying sun and a small, tight and narrow pitch which required tight, patient passing.
They hardly challenged, bar the initial enthusistic 15 minutes. Defence more than coped, Trevor up for everything poked his way, Roy, who has been ill, and looked it, played well, Chris G, Brendan and Steve were solid, which left those ahead with the task of defeating the festive blues and winning the game. Matty scored one from a tight angle, the third, and assisted in the other two- he said I should mention this, though the first thrashed into an open goal goal by Chris Wilson, should initially have been Matt's. The second was run in from the half way line and finished with aplomb by Gavin, who again gives me hope in my dotage, such a self deprecating bloke. He's got pace and energy to light up Knebworth but he's been fraternising with M. Boyle and has caught the gout. What is that ?
Steve Bull raced in to get on the end of a Matt cross yet from 4 centimetres in front of an open goal missed the ball- a bobble? I don't think so. I thought I'd mention that. Matt and Steve don't drink in January by the way- some New Age thing, John Boyle doesn't drink in January some illness thing, so cheers to you all from a man of consistency and balance.
Brendan is in Vietnam and Cambodia this week think well of him amid their equivalent of curried donkey nobs.
I was considered dirtiest player on the pitch having felled two of the opposition with the Geordie elbows (they all agreed that in the bar- I can tek it) and enjoyed a little bit of crappioso from the oppos. They could narf fackin winge, the old bastards. If yi canna tek it pack it in yi wallies. Mind you I enjoyed scything down that midfielder, he used to be so quick and creative two years ago, he's fucked now at 40. He winged a lot, I liked that.
We hit the woodwork a lot and Mark Mills took the kit.
If I've missed owt out, sorry.
Anyone want to play away to Royston and Carlos, the knacker Dan, next week get in touch, all applicants fairly considered on grounds of ability and having a car. If yi canna stand the post-festive heat gerroot thi fuckin kitchen.
Al awa thi noo for a glass o stout- on thi wagon be buggered.
Captain Ahab
I'd been away walking the Pembrokeshire Coastal Path and didn't expect to play but on the day I did due to illness of youngsters and non availability. It was enjoyable to enter 2008 pulling on the kit alongside other enthusiasts and winning-easily- to boot.
A sluggish game, obvious reasons, together with clashing strips, they wore red we wore orange, a hellish low lying sun and a small, tight and narrow pitch which required tight, patient passing.
They hardly challenged, bar the initial enthusistic 15 minutes. Defence more than coped, Trevor up for everything poked his way, Roy, who has been ill, and looked it, played well, Chris G, Brendan and Steve were solid, which left those ahead with the task of defeating the festive blues and winning the game. Matty scored one from a tight angle, the third, and assisted in the other two- he said I should mention this, though the first thrashed into an open goal goal by Chris Wilson, should initially have been Matt's. The second was run in from the half way line and finished with aplomb by Gavin, who again gives me hope in my dotage, such a self deprecating bloke. He's got pace and energy to light up Knebworth but he's been fraternising with M. Boyle and has caught the gout. What is that ?
Steve Bull raced in to get on the end of a Matt cross yet from 4 centimetres in front of an open goal missed the ball- a bobble? I don't think so. I thought I'd mention that. Matt and Steve don't drink in January by the way- some New Age thing, John Boyle doesn't drink in January some illness thing, so cheers to you all from a man of consistency and balance.
Brendan is in Vietnam and Cambodia this week think well of him amid their equivalent of curried donkey nobs.
I was considered dirtiest player on the pitch having felled two of the opposition with the Geordie elbows (they all agreed that in the bar- I can tek it) and enjoyed a little bit of crappioso from the oppos. They could narf fackin winge, the old bastards. If yi canna tek it pack it in yi wallies. Mind you I enjoyed scything down that midfielder, he used to be so quick and creative two years ago, he's fucked now at 40. He winged a lot, I liked that.
We hit the woodwork a lot and Mark Mills took the kit.
If I've missed owt out, sorry.
Anyone want to play away to Royston and Carlos, the knacker Dan, next week get in touch, all applicants fairly considered on grounds of ability and having a car. If yi canna stand the post-festive heat gerroot thi fuckin kitchen.
Al awa thi noo for a glass o stout- on thi wagon be buggered.
Captain Ahab
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