Goldings 0 Knobs 1 - Report by Davey Wavey

A great result against a team who still haven’t beaten us in over 6 years. Although the morning started in disarray for both teams. I got lost on route to the ground and when I got there we only had 10 players. We were waiting for Brendan to make an appearance with the shorts and socks which had been split by Alastair the previous week. They only had 6 players and were trying to get reinforcements. This was looking like it would be a friendly game rather than a league one with us taking the 3 points. There was a suggestion of playing 8 a side with me playing for them. (that was my suggestion as the opposition would be easier) We would have to play in our pants and whatever socks we were wearing as Brendan still hadn’t turned up. HOORAH!! Brendan makes his entrance at 10.45 with bedhead and looking like he’s still asleep saying some old bollocks about getting in at 2am from Slovenia. I’ve heard some excuses, but fuck me I’ve never heard one like that before. They scrape 11 together and the games on.
The pitch was in a pretty shit state with lots of ankle breaking pot holes and divots to look out for. Conditions were fair with a greasy top surface which made our first touch and theirs pretty much impossible. Never the less there was some type of football being played. Not much to note in the 1st half apart from giving the ball away a lot. Paul Crosby had a rasping shot which slammed the bar and their right midfielder who Ron should remember because he threw mud in his face a few years ago. (naughty Ron) had a shot come cross which nearly crept in. Even Steven at half time. The new interim manager made a change with Paul making way for Millsy who also turned up late, 20 minutes in to the 1st half to be precise. Lateness of such severity should be punished with a fine or having to wash the kit. (take note Ronald) 2nd half started at a better pace and with more conviction. We slowed the tempo a little and was able to get our foot on the ball and pass with confidence. Our shape was back and it wasn’t long before we carved out a few chances. Richard and Steve combined well in the middle with skill and guile (you choose which is which) Our goal came on 55 minutes aprrox with Millsy getting a through ball from Bully (I think) and slotting home a composed placed shot. From that point they came on to us with more attacking moves mainly down the right which was being cut with the combination of John T and Brendan stifling most of their play. John T made way for Paul who both put in a good effort. Trevor didn’t have a save to make as we were defending high up the pitch. Can someone enlighten me on a new football rule. I was giving the ref a bit of light hearted verbal during the game when all of a sudden he gives a free kick for too much talking! Only a decision Graham Poll and Stuart Atwell would have made. A sterling effort by all and a result that should put us at top of the league. I assume some people went to the pub. I didn’t as I had to get me skates on to get home. I forgot to slam in the lamb (ooh Erh!) Home to Birchanger next week then 2 important league games to follow. Hopefully we should have more players next week and that doesn’t mean Trevor’s bringing his Icelandic illegals. See you on the Blog. If you dare.

Debbie7 (Minister for recruitment and youthful language. Oh, and kit washer, ball holder, motivational guru and interim manager) What a C.V