Back to winning ways. Denial of advanced senility and geriatric forebodings marked this festive feast as two teams battled against Time's devious encroachments. Is it time to give in for some of us? "I fear so", he rambled incoherently, "you can only rage against the dying light for so long before you are irradiated".
Nuff said about my personal decline.
Dave following up his 'tea debacle' of last week, came armed with a pan and fuck all else so the mulled wine was a non starter. Well the wine is an integral ingredient of such an occasion.
Goals came from Matt (2), Ron, John, Bill and Dave and theirs came from Phil!
Misses with only the goalie to beat came from.... well let's not go down that sad road.
The opposition had been out warming up before Chris Wilson was even out of bed, a throw back policy that, much spurned by modern vets, the warm up that is. Dave continued his falling over repertoire, to general amusement before smacking the cross bar with a tidy effort. Offsides were abundant as the opposition played a flat back line but the frailty of such a policy showed in the number of times the trap was evaded with sometimes positive results and not a little controversy. You can't expect to get 100% decisions in your favour over 90 minutes.
The fourth goal was a particularly nice move ending with a Boyle headed goal. Bill showed how to approach an open goal firing over the keeper from 25 yards, not many of us can kick it that high.
A good spirit prevailed and it was nice to come up against former Knobs Jon Jay and Mark, who realise what they are not missing. (Big Bob is moving back to Stevenage and will be searching for a new club- get your ear muffs ready).
Team today was Phil, Kenny, Chris, Brendan, Bill, Dave, Steve B, Chris W, Ron and Matt. Tom, son of Bill came on as sub as did Tony, friend of Steve. M. Mills had flu again as did Martin. Martin's son told me that Martin's flu turned out to be a sore throat precipitated by a crumb being stuck in his throat. Out injured, 'crumb stuck in throat'- imagine if it was a Trussells!
A fair crowd in pub afterwards, entertained by Mark Vasey's tricks. Some little boozing and promises to reform. 2008 just round the corner, I wish you all a good one and no pissing against trees!
Rambling Ron
Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack
Monday 31 December 2007
Wednesday 26 December 2007
Knobs 0 Walkern 2
Wye lad a live, wi lost a local derby that wi should o won. First they were aader than us by a generation. But thi had a couple o shots an scored. We woz lyke thi raggy arse rovers gettin worse as thi gyem wore on. Still there were some amusing moments and some good signs noo n then. Nick contributed in a lively fashion n was unlucky not to notch. Debbie failed to produce the tea, he brought some teabags but they're very unappetising without hot water, sugar and a birro milk. Nor was the mulled wine forthcoming and finally his football contribution resembled also something without the necessary ingredients. He's big enough to take it and take it he did. Watch that boy bounce back when he's evacuated his recent carbohydrate stodge. Whatever any of yiz dae keep off the tattie diet ower Christmas. Nowt else ti say aboot the gyem. Frost gave way ti clarts, we gave way to a second successive defeat and adjourned to the pub. A merry little drink ensued. Oh aye Mark nicked off early, fair enough a thought but then there was a heap of of shite covered kit that he forgot to tek wirrim. Thanks to John's mam Nancy for having it washed and ironed by Christmas Eve!
The Station is well on its way to being the first self service pub with a trust box but somehow some drink flowed. Award for last man sitting seems to go to M. Boyle with Steve as companion leaving for the curry house at 6.30. A wer akip well before then afront a roarin fire.
This week a seasonal one-off against Knebworth Dads and Coaches. 10.30 ko at the Rec.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all.
Rudolf
The Station is well on its way to being the first self service pub with a trust box but somehow some drink flowed. Award for last man sitting seems to go to M. Boyle with Steve as companion leaving for the curry house at 6.30. A wer akip well before then afront a roarin fire.
This week a seasonal one-off against Knebworth Dads and Coaches. 10.30 ko at the Rec.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all.
Rudolf
Monday 17 December 2007
Standon 4 Knobs 1
I felt it from the outset, but I hope we all enjoyed the morning out. A game is about pitting wits and strength against an opposition and hopefully winning, well we didn't win and more importantly we lacked wit and strength to compete against what to my mind is a rather agricultural opposition. Highly unenjoyable in all respects.
Chris was late and we started competently against a physical opposition. Shortly from a flighted Steve free kick an alert Matt put us ahead. All to the good for a while. They wriggled free and scored from a lovely flighted chip from their young man- mountain centre forward and then Chris was brought on. In match flow they were not really threatening until a speculative shot from some little distance fell from Trevor's grasp- hero one week villain the next- it would probably have gone over my head!
For the next 40 minutes the match was in the balance till they grabbed 2 goals later on. But really, in the intervening time, we didn't feel as if we wanted or could turn things round.
Why? Simple- lack of playing time together of the players on show today plus a drop in effort and will among the more regular players. No names to be mentioned. But we're better than that, if not jack in while yer ahead.
Several players unavailable such as M. Boyle, Gavin, Chris G and Paul, and injured such as Mark M, Martin, Phil led us to the side we had out. Yet if we are to adhere to the principle of giving everyone a game we are gonna have to get used to playing in a system using players who are better, fitter, less fit and old to compete against sides. Not an impossible situation. You hear a lot of shit talked about these bloody foreigners viz. Ramos and Capelli struggling to speak English therefore unable to properly transmit ideas to their charges but I would have thought that is a distinct advantage in the simple game of football- instead of psycho gobbledy gook from the likes of Hoddle and mangled English from the likes of Wilkinson (I used to be a teacher- by the way yi talk like a fuckin crap one) - you can plan the game in the simplest possible terms. For example, yesterday one simple thing we didn,t do was play as a unit. I watched most of the game from the side and I could see no physical togetherness, isolated challenges with no back up for loose balls and isolated attacks, leave it to 2 players to do something with noone busting a gut to get up in support and a wholesale lack of anticipation all around the pitch to situations which might and did occur. Now it could be that all these things were a temporary blip due to Christmas excesses and lack of desire on the day but that's how we lost. A group of individuals on a football match, oh ghee whiz I'm playing a game that I love, but lacking energy application and that necessary extra interest.
Tactically 4-2-4; it's simple, we defend narrow and attack with width. We didn't do it. We attacked with width alright, in the sense that people were already wide and non involved from the opposition's initial attack, but when they subsequently attacked we were far too wide. Far far too wide.
TUCK IN. Get behind the opposition and make it difficult for the opposition to compete and create in the penalty area. Bodies in the box. After all someone coming from wide, in our standard, is gonna be confronted with our bodies in the vital area and requiring something special from their bodies (probably outnumbered) to snatch a goal. Again, after all, how many goals do teams concede from corners. Anyway the ultimate spectacle was one of isolated pockets of Knobs and no togetherness, particularly relevant for their final 2 goals. Nowt to do with individual ability and fitness on our part. We must, to thrive in old age, be more cute or else we'll be depressed on our way home.
One incident to highlight our lack of togetherness was the incident with Steve Bull when he got his bollocks stamped on- I saw the scar. He was on the ground struggling to retrieve the ball for what seemed an eternity and not one player moved to his side to assist him. When he ultimately lost his battle and hooked the player's foot to foul him (slightly and harmlessly) he was stamped on on the ground by the offended sheepshagger. Plenty rushed forward then to break up the handbags that ensued but to my mind that was a reaction too little too late. TOGETHERNESS.
Width in attack and narrowness in defence. Talking sensibly to each to effect this and listening and reacting to the talk. I supposose we were just not at the races yesterday. I enjoyed the rest of the day mind.
Five of us sampled, to my mind, the best away grub of this season, and last, at the pub, chilli and rice- remember this fixture next year. Oh and yes let's beat them at our place in March.
Next week I would like us to win at home to Old Owens and I would like as many players to participate as possible. Some hope you might think. So what.
On the 30th of December we have a game at the Rec against the coaches and Dads of the youth team and those of us not wandering off to leave a huge carbon footprint on the planet might enjoy a run aroud to ease the Christmas excesses before the New Years Eve refuelling.
Ron
Chris was late and we started competently against a physical opposition. Shortly from a flighted Steve free kick an alert Matt put us ahead. All to the good for a while. They wriggled free and scored from a lovely flighted chip from their young man- mountain centre forward and then Chris was brought on. In match flow they were not really threatening until a speculative shot from some little distance fell from Trevor's grasp- hero one week villain the next- it would probably have gone over my head!
For the next 40 minutes the match was in the balance till they grabbed 2 goals later on. But really, in the intervening time, we didn't feel as if we wanted or could turn things round.
Why? Simple- lack of playing time together of the players on show today plus a drop in effort and will among the more regular players. No names to be mentioned. But we're better than that, if not jack in while yer ahead.
Several players unavailable such as M. Boyle, Gavin, Chris G and Paul, and injured such as Mark M, Martin, Phil led us to the side we had out. Yet if we are to adhere to the principle of giving everyone a game we are gonna have to get used to playing in a system using players who are better, fitter, less fit and old to compete against sides. Not an impossible situation. You hear a lot of shit talked about these bloody foreigners viz. Ramos and Capelli struggling to speak English therefore unable to properly transmit ideas to their charges but I would have thought that is a distinct advantage in the simple game of football- instead of psycho gobbledy gook from the likes of Hoddle and mangled English from the likes of Wilkinson (I used to be a teacher- by the way yi talk like a fuckin crap one) - you can plan the game in the simplest possible terms. For example, yesterday one simple thing we didn,t do was play as a unit. I watched most of the game from the side and I could see no physical togetherness, isolated challenges with no back up for loose balls and isolated attacks, leave it to 2 players to do something with noone busting a gut to get up in support and a wholesale lack of anticipation all around the pitch to situations which might and did occur. Now it could be that all these things were a temporary blip due to Christmas excesses and lack of desire on the day but that's how we lost. A group of individuals on a football match, oh ghee whiz I'm playing a game that I love, but lacking energy application and that necessary extra interest.
Tactically 4-2-4; it's simple, we defend narrow and attack with width. We didn't do it. We attacked with width alright, in the sense that people were already wide and non involved from the opposition's initial attack, but when they subsequently attacked we were far too wide. Far far too wide.
TUCK IN. Get behind the opposition and make it difficult for the opposition to compete and create in the penalty area. Bodies in the box. After all someone coming from wide, in our standard, is gonna be confronted with our bodies in the vital area and requiring something special from their bodies (probably outnumbered) to snatch a goal. Again, after all, how many goals do teams concede from corners. Anyway the ultimate spectacle was one of isolated pockets of Knobs and no togetherness, particularly relevant for their final 2 goals. Nowt to do with individual ability and fitness on our part. We must, to thrive in old age, be more cute or else we'll be depressed on our way home.
One incident to highlight our lack of togetherness was the incident with Steve Bull when he got his bollocks stamped on- I saw the scar. He was on the ground struggling to retrieve the ball for what seemed an eternity and not one player moved to his side to assist him. When he ultimately lost his battle and hooked the player's foot to foul him (slightly and harmlessly) he was stamped on on the ground by the offended sheepshagger. Plenty rushed forward then to break up the handbags that ensued but to my mind that was a reaction too little too late. TOGETHERNESS.
Width in attack and narrowness in defence. Talking sensibly to each to effect this and listening and reacting to the talk. I supposose we were just not at the races yesterday. I enjoyed the rest of the day mind.
Five of us sampled, to my mind, the best away grub of this season, and last, at the pub, chilli and rice- remember this fixture next year. Oh and yes let's beat them at our place in March.
Next week I would like us to win at home to Old Owens and I would like as many players to participate as possible. Some hope you might think. So what.
On the 30th of December we have a game at the Rec against the coaches and Dads of the youth team and those of us not wandering off to leave a huge carbon footprint on the planet might enjoy a run aroud to ease the Christmas excesses before the New Years Eve refuelling.
Ron
Friday 14 December 2007
Committee Meeting Statement
A committee meeting took place on Thursday evening in The Station Hotel and the following statement has been issued on behalf of the club:
Following feedback from various members of the club regarding playing opportunities, the committee have agreed the following selection policy:-
League Games
The strongest available team will be selected with a maximum of 3 substitutes who will be used as seen appropriate to winning the match.
Friendly Games
A nucleus of players who are available for all matches will be selected with the balance being selected from the other playing members on a rotational basis. The intention being that all playing members are offered an opportunity to play.
After the meeting Ron was heard to comment “I was really happy with the outcome of the meeting and especially grateful to being given a vote of confidence from my fellow committee members. I have always loved this club and always will, I can categorically say that I never wanted nor applied for the post of England manager. I would especially like to thank Bill and Clarence for the support and comfort they have provided throughout this difficult time. We can all now move on and personally I am feeling invigorated and full of optimism for the festive period ahead. I would also......”
Following feedback from various members of the club regarding playing opportunities, the committee have agreed the following selection policy:-
League Games
The strongest available team will be selected with a maximum of 3 substitutes who will be used as seen appropriate to winning the match.
Friendly Games
A nucleus of players who are available for all matches will be selected with the balance being selected from the other playing members on a rotational basis. The intention being that all playing members are offered an opportunity to play.
After the meeting Ron was heard to comment “I was really happy with the outcome of the meeting and especially grateful to being given a vote of confidence from my fellow committee members. I have always loved this club and always will, I can categorically say that I never wanted nor applied for the post of England manager. I would especially like to thank Bill and Clarence for the support and comfort they have provided throughout this difficult time. We can all now move on and personally I am feeling invigorated and full of optimism for the festive period ahead. I would also......”
Sunday 9 December 2007
Knobs 2 Ware 1- League
The pitch won- very heavy, folk sliding into improbable often dangerous tackles, injuries, fortunately were few. Martin did a hamstring and poor old Mark pulled a muscle as linesman in the first half.
They had a few threatening corners, early on, before going ahead with a bit of a close range fluke. We immediately equalised through a Steve Bull penalty. Contested- by them. Not the illegitimacy of the life threatening dangerous foul from behind on Richard as he was running in to score- oh no- it was whether the assassination attempt took place 2 centimetres outside the area, hence no penalty. In the context of a vet's game the "tackle" had no place. I can appreciate, just, professionals committing such fouls then arguing it was on the edge of the area, but vets? Having seen red and acting as he did, their bonehead should have taken himself off and simply awarded us a goal as an act of pennance. Anyway I consulted the linesman , who was up with play, and he confirmed the offence to have taken place a yard inside the area.
Second half saw an immediate power run from Chris Wilson, who squared to Matt, who made no mistake from 8 yards. They hardly threatened after that but we missed a few. Some daft tackles and a free for all (noone dead) and we limped off winners.
Unlike the bonhomie of last year, none of them showed at the pub- ah well pathetic, huh!
I suggest our participation in the league ends this year, then whoever takes over to run the team, next year, will be able to resort to the pin, the hat and the hows your father to get 11 men out each Sunday and not have to be concerned about whether we are strong enough to compete and challenge young, muscular or cheating sides.
I apologise to those who have been left out since the start of the season because of my unilateral decision to try and run a team competitively. (Explained). We all have different opinions as to what should constitute the correct selection policy. I start from two basic principles and try to work through them.
1. Regular availablity
2. Ability.
All else is in the realms of micky mousedom.
Anyway I suggest a Committee meeting is urgently called to consider team selection and its principles or lack of them to be in place for the rest of the season.
Yours
The Chastened One
I reckon Trevor was MoM yesterday, nary an error and good calling of the game.
2.
They had a few threatening corners, early on, before going ahead with a bit of a close range fluke. We immediately equalised through a Steve Bull penalty. Contested- by them. Not the illegitimacy of the life threatening dangerous foul from behind on Richard as he was running in to score- oh no- it was whether the assassination attempt took place 2 centimetres outside the area, hence no penalty. In the context of a vet's game the "tackle" had no place. I can appreciate, just, professionals committing such fouls then arguing it was on the edge of the area, but vets? Having seen red and acting as he did, their bonehead should have taken himself off and simply awarded us a goal as an act of pennance. Anyway I consulted the linesman , who was up with play, and he confirmed the offence to have taken place a yard inside the area.
Second half saw an immediate power run from Chris Wilson, who squared to Matt, who made no mistake from 8 yards. They hardly threatened after that but we missed a few. Some daft tackles and a free for all (noone dead) and we limped off winners.
Unlike the bonhomie of last year, none of them showed at the pub- ah well pathetic, huh!
I suggest our participation in the league ends this year, then whoever takes over to run the team, next year, will be able to resort to the pin, the hat and the hows your father to get 11 men out each Sunday and not have to be concerned about whether we are strong enough to compete and challenge young, muscular or cheating sides.
I apologise to those who have been left out since the start of the season because of my unilateral decision to try and run a team competitively. (Explained). We all have different opinions as to what should constitute the correct selection policy. I start from two basic principles and try to work through them.
1. Regular availablity
2. Ability.
All else is in the realms of micky mousedom.
Anyway I suggest a Committee meeting is urgently called to consider team selection and its principles or lack of them to be in place for the rest of the season.
Yours
The Chastened One
I reckon Trevor was MoM yesterday, nary an error and good calling of the game.
2.
Monday 3 December 2007
St Helens 1 Knobs 5
A canny little result against the team presumed the league leaders.
Worra day, wind, rain and the sloping mudheap that is Westminster Lodge pitch 1. A quiet start as we awaited the slow arrival of the opposition. We lounged round in the rain as they prevaricated but eventually some semblance of a match was commenced 25 minutes late as they arrived in dribs and invariably drabs. We were getting really cauld an it werra a bit ov a piss take really.
We started as we finished, playing all the football and attacking incessantly, the pitch being the only reason that we didn't reach double figures. Oh yes that and a number of misses and misfortunes. A lead from a penalty, for a handball , converted by M. Bull was more than we deserved. An entertaining striptease took place on the sidelines where three geriatrics seemed to be helbent on exchanging various articles of their clothing, revealing some disgusting bits of ageing anatomy in the process, so that they could equip one of their number with the necessary kit to come on as sub. Henceforth Gavin was faced with a dead ringer of Del Boy's Uncle Albert facing him. They equalised following in a freekick to hammer in from close range.
Then a fine run by Gavin saw the ball fall to the unerring Mark Mills who fired high into the net from 22 yards. 2-1.
Second half could have seen us score loads, we managed three. Old Ron, yes he was playing, Chris had a virus and Mike Lisle dropped out on the day, that's why, anyway a well worked move out left saw Phil send a soaring cross to the far post where it was duly butted home, it felt fuckin grand! 3-1.
Crap followed, a dive by pom pom head saw their referee give a penalty. It was said Trev, many of us disagreed, but all agreed whatever contact there was nae need for the somersault and double pike with 60 degrees of difficulty. After the feuding had died down, they hit the bar and our appeals for encroaching were quickly muffled as we broke away.
Number 4 was a slow motion advance through the mud to where Gavin re-arranging his feet twice squeezed the ball in. The fifth was an excellent move from the left, a cross to the far post where Gavin smashed home from a tight angle. 5-1.
One or two little brouhahas developed from time to time, but disappointingly the handbag contest outside the dressing room between our Steve, 6 foot 1, and their Paddy, 1 foot 6, was postponed due to either inclement weather or amnesia. Well we gained revenge for our unfortunate 3-2 defeat to this young side earlier in the season.
We adjourned to a sausageless Station where we thoughtfully watched a reformed John Boyle drink orange juice and lemonade. Is this the end of an era?
It was nice seeing all those who turned out at the previous Friday's crawl, sorry Dave a hope yi not bitter. Me faither aalwiz said yi nivvor torn doon vinegar wi yer chips. Aal yi needed were some chips really. I'll make it up to you, somehow........
Cheers
Plonker
Worra day, wind, rain and the sloping mudheap that is Westminster Lodge pitch 1. A quiet start as we awaited the slow arrival of the opposition. We lounged round in the rain as they prevaricated but eventually some semblance of a match was commenced 25 minutes late as they arrived in dribs and invariably drabs. We were getting really cauld an it werra a bit ov a piss take really.
We started as we finished, playing all the football and attacking incessantly, the pitch being the only reason that we didn't reach double figures. Oh yes that and a number of misses and misfortunes. A lead from a penalty, for a handball , converted by M. Bull was more than we deserved. An entertaining striptease took place on the sidelines where three geriatrics seemed to be helbent on exchanging various articles of their clothing, revealing some disgusting bits of ageing anatomy in the process, so that they could equip one of their number with the necessary kit to come on as sub. Henceforth Gavin was faced with a dead ringer of Del Boy's Uncle Albert facing him. They equalised following in a freekick to hammer in from close range.
Then a fine run by Gavin saw the ball fall to the unerring Mark Mills who fired high into the net from 22 yards. 2-1.
Second half could have seen us score loads, we managed three. Old Ron, yes he was playing, Chris had a virus and Mike Lisle dropped out on the day, that's why, anyway a well worked move out left saw Phil send a soaring cross to the far post where it was duly butted home, it felt fuckin grand! 3-1.
Crap followed, a dive by pom pom head saw their referee give a penalty. It was said Trev, many of us disagreed, but all agreed whatever contact there was nae need for the somersault and double pike with 60 degrees of difficulty. After the feuding had died down, they hit the bar and our appeals for encroaching were quickly muffled as we broke away.
Number 4 was a slow motion advance through the mud to where Gavin re-arranging his feet twice squeezed the ball in. The fifth was an excellent move from the left, a cross to the far post where Gavin smashed home from a tight angle. 5-1.
One or two little brouhahas developed from time to time, but disappointingly the handbag contest outside the dressing room between our Steve, 6 foot 1, and their Paddy, 1 foot 6, was postponed due to either inclement weather or amnesia. Well we gained revenge for our unfortunate 3-2 defeat to this young side earlier in the season.
We adjourned to a sausageless Station where we thoughtfully watched a reformed John Boyle drink orange juice and lemonade. Is this the end of an era?
It was nice seeing all those who turned out at the previous Friday's crawl, sorry Dave a hope yi not bitter. Me faither aalwiz said yi nivvor torn doon vinegar wi yer chips. Aal yi needed were some chips really. I'll make it up to you, somehow........
Cheers
Plonker
Sunday 25 November 2007
Vintage Dundee 2 Knobs 4
As Sir Alf would have fulsomely declared, "well done chaps".
Last season a rather different Knobs side lost 7-1 here, where a certain amount of piss taking irked us in our cups. Going out onto the pitch, one of their lot was overheard saying how they'd get a bucket load of goals today. You're only as good as yer last game fella and they were well beaten, physically, tactically and creatively in a very competitive match. They've quite a skilful, strong front two which they tender to pepper with 60 yard exocets from their centre half. Scrapping for the second ball was important and we outfought them. A first half lead was due to an opportunist goal by the pacy Gavin, who showed class on a number of occasions, perhaps we didn't involve him sufficiently. It must be said this pitch is a small, tight school pitch and perhaps this mitigated against Gavin operating at full tilt. For this he might be thankful as he was dead side of knackered near the end. Perhaps it was just as well he wasn't fed more often.
A change midway through the half saw Phil make his first change from wide left to centre midfield with silky Steve further forward. An injury to Roy saw Phil slot in at the back next to the biting Chris. Half time 1-0.
Second half saw us carve a number of half chances before a bullet Steve corner was nutted in fiercely by Matt. Every corner gave us chances, they were creating nothing. With them 3 at the back we could have fucked em on each of our several breaks and so it proved as Matt beat wor Gav to a Mills pass, to run through unchallenged, round the keeper and pop in for 3-0. Were they shocked, I think so. A throw in which might not have come into play, was turned to their advantage as we switched off from their quick throw before they netted. Then fuck me we donated them their second. Inexplicably John, 'I've lost a litre of blood' Boyle played a square ball to me of all people which was intercepted and fluffily converted. We tightened up with Roy back on at the back and an attack led to a pass of vision through the mayhem by Steve, leftwards to Mark who inexplicably controlled and found the opposite top corner from 25 yards. That's it you lot- we're not gonna let you come back, we were only teasing.
Was I a little over verbal- not really it's a part of the game. Anyway each game could be my last, I was pleased to be involved in such a competitive game with such a friendly set of lads and I was on anti biotics and under threat from her indoors not to even think of playing. Don't tell her!
Well I've walked the dogs and am now going for a run. Some of the younger boys Boyle, Bull, Twigg and Simpson (via Tescos) have adjourned to the Station for a warm down but I'm saving myself for Friday night in the Old Town. See you there. Even Mark, after his stupendous contribution is considering turning out. To talk us through his shot. Each time he mentions it he buys a round- you needn't bring any money then.
We went to The Purple Duck in Baldock where mince, marge and bread and a delicious yellow vomit was the fare on offer. A good turn out. All except Mark, who'd rushed off provide vivid descriptions of his goal to their Andrew.
Howay the lads- now let's go and beat Young Boys of St Helens next week on the St Albans shitheap. Victory or on yer shields.
Rob Roy
Last season a rather different Knobs side lost 7-1 here, where a certain amount of piss taking irked us in our cups. Going out onto the pitch, one of their lot was overheard saying how they'd get a bucket load of goals today. You're only as good as yer last game fella and they were well beaten, physically, tactically and creatively in a very competitive match. They've quite a skilful, strong front two which they tender to pepper with 60 yard exocets from their centre half. Scrapping for the second ball was important and we outfought them. A first half lead was due to an opportunist goal by the pacy Gavin, who showed class on a number of occasions, perhaps we didn't involve him sufficiently. It must be said this pitch is a small, tight school pitch and perhaps this mitigated against Gavin operating at full tilt. For this he might be thankful as he was dead side of knackered near the end. Perhaps it was just as well he wasn't fed more often.
A change midway through the half saw Phil make his first change from wide left to centre midfield with silky Steve further forward. An injury to Roy saw Phil slot in at the back next to the biting Chris. Half time 1-0.
Second half saw us carve a number of half chances before a bullet Steve corner was nutted in fiercely by Matt. Every corner gave us chances, they were creating nothing. With them 3 at the back we could have fucked em on each of our several breaks and so it proved as Matt beat wor Gav to a Mills pass, to run through unchallenged, round the keeper and pop in for 3-0. Were they shocked, I think so. A throw in which might not have come into play, was turned to their advantage as we switched off from their quick throw before they netted. Then fuck me we donated them their second. Inexplicably John, 'I've lost a litre of blood' Boyle played a square ball to me of all people which was intercepted and fluffily converted. We tightened up with Roy back on at the back and an attack led to a pass of vision through the mayhem by Steve, leftwards to Mark who inexplicably controlled and found the opposite top corner from 25 yards. That's it you lot- we're not gonna let you come back, we were only teasing.
Was I a little over verbal- not really it's a part of the game. Anyway each game could be my last, I was pleased to be involved in such a competitive game with such a friendly set of lads and I was on anti biotics and under threat from her indoors not to even think of playing. Don't tell her!
Well I've walked the dogs and am now going for a run. Some of the younger boys Boyle, Bull, Twigg and Simpson (via Tescos) have adjourned to the Station for a warm down but I'm saving myself for Friday night in the Old Town. See you there. Even Mark, after his stupendous contribution is considering turning out. To talk us through his shot. Each time he mentions it he buys a round- you needn't bring any money then.
We went to The Purple Duck in Baldock where mince, marge and bread and a delicious yellow vomit was the fare on offer. A good turn out. All except Mark, who'd rushed off provide vivid descriptions of his goal to their Andrew.
Howay the lads- now let's go and beat Young Boys of St Helens next week on the St Albans shitheap. Victory or on yer shields.
Rob Roy
Monday 19 November 2007
Datchworth 2 Knobs 4- League
Another victory, getting boring is it?
On a freezing cold day with a bitter east coast wind blowin up the jaxy, Knobs secured another partially elegant, partially crap victory. Victory was never in doubt or was it- after they came back from 3-0 down in the second half to 3-2. I don't think those playing were in doubt, they kept on playing nicely (I was referee-so I kept staggering around suffering) but the chances missed outnumbered those scored, hence the final goals total- 4. Lovely bit of logic that.
The pitch at Tewin was carpetted with worm casts, with not a few rabbit holes, which together with the lack of a lawnmower's attention made smooth football difficult. Still there was some good stuff. Martin and Steve were outstanding, the former my man of the match with Phil, Dave and Roy coming up on the rails. Trevor kept the lead intact with 2 or 3 extraordinary saves to go with.... say no more. Chris G managed to turn one scrambled shot past the post with the faintest of knicks which might have changed the course of the game at 3-2. John Boyle had a cold, Matt hated the crossbar, Richard hated playing full back- did well, Mike Lisle scored with a Shearer like header and Mark hated a bobble which caused him to .......... half volley a chance into neighbouring Welwyn Garden City, still it wasn't our ball which was a real lifeless dud. Ron hated playing referee.
First 10 minutes we were appalling. Nuff said.
Late in first half a switch inside saw monsiuer Bull rifle home from 25 yards over their diminutive goalkeeper.
A questionable offside break, turned down by their referee, ie me, fell eventually to Phil who netted.
Early second half saw a crashing header from Mike make it 3-0.
They came back through two goals from corners which were scrambled in from 3 and 6 inches respectively.
An excellent move led to Phil cutting in from the right wing and ignoring several players, nicely placed, proceeded to lash it in for his second and our 4th.
Into the cricket pavilion where hot water was obtained before most of us journeyed to Datchworth Club for a welcome pint.
A choice of vegetable stew or mince stew brought us round- a wee dog entertained us by pissing on the carpet- well it was freezing out- and the bandwagon rolls on.
Well done.
On a freezing cold day with a bitter east coast wind blowin up the jaxy, Knobs secured another partially elegant, partially crap victory. Victory was never in doubt or was it- after they came back from 3-0 down in the second half to 3-2. I don't think those playing were in doubt, they kept on playing nicely (I was referee-so I kept staggering around suffering) but the chances missed outnumbered those scored, hence the final goals total- 4. Lovely bit of logic that.
The pitch at Tewin was carpetted with worm casts, with not a few rabbit holes, which together with the lack of a lawnmower's attention made smooth football difficult. Still there was some good stuff. Martin and Steve were outstanding, the former my man of the match with Phil, Dave and Roy coming up on the rails. Trevor kept the lead intact with 2 or 3 extraordinary saves to go with.... say no more. Chris G managed to turn one scrambled shot past the post with the faintest of knicks which might have changed the course of the game at 3-2. John Boyle had a cold, Matt hated the crossbar, Richard hated playing full back- did well, Mike Lisle scored with a Shearer like header and Mark hated a bobble which caused him to .......... half volley a chance into neighbouring Welwyn Garden City, still it wasn't our ball which was a real lifeless dud. Ron hated playing referee.
First 10 minutes we were appalling. Nuff said.
Late in first half a switch inside saw monsiuer Bull rifle home from 25 yards over their diminutive goalkeeper.
A questionable offside break, turned down by their referee, ie me, fell eventually to Phil who netted.
Early second half saw a crashing header from Mike make it 3-0.
They came back through two goals from corners which were scrambled in from 3 and 6 inches respectively.
An excellent move led to Phil cutting in from the right wing and ignoring several players, nicely placed, proceeded to lash it in for his second and our 4th.
Into the cricket pavilion where hot water was obtained before most of us journeyed to Datchworth Club for a welcome pint.
A choice of vegetable stew or mince stew brought us round- a wee dog entertained us by pissing on the carpet- well it was freezing out- and the bandwagon rolls on.
Well done.
Monday 12 November 2007
Garston 0 Knobs 2
A grand game, albeit only 40 minutes each way as it turned out, on the grassy true flowing Met Police ground. We deserved our win, with a somewhat changed side. Garston I feel misled us as to the make up of their side, leading me to leave Phil, Matt, Chris, Gavin and Mike grinding out their frustrations in domestic settings- still other people had a chance to play and contribute. Enough of the psychological warfare.
Man of the match, without a doubt surely was our keeper Trevor who caught everything cleanly and saved all that was propelled toward him, including a one on one save to which one could only retort "bravo"!
Having said that, it was not a game we were lucky to win. Not at all, we played some lovely and penetrating stuff, especially in the first half, and we scored with some of our chances and Trevor saved all of theirs. Personally I was a bit chuffed when their senior players, at the end, praised our craftiness and defending from the front, the rarely noticed and not highly acclaimed art of putting yerselves in relevant positions. This was important against a team who continually play out from the back in triangles, oblongs, circles and rarely a straight line.
Mark Mills returned to something like form with some good passes and nicely flighted corners, one of which led to our first goal, butted in by birthday boy, c'est moi- 62 the day before. Al aalways get a few in the air divvint ye fret hinny! The game wore on with a 1-0 lead looking rarely enough, till a nice wee break saw a penetrating through ball from geriatric boy swallowed up by Richard, who galloped from the half way line to net unerringly. I knew it was a good pass cos Bill praised it- yes you did, I heard you.
Nick making his proper debut interested watchers by a succession of fouls (was it 7 or 8) but, hey, he was competing for the ball.
Mention must be made for Steve's visionary 40 yard diagonal ball into the area where my lovely firm header was fucking wide. Really disappointing that cos I'd read the intent and could visualisethe glory as I modestly discussed matters in the Station afterwards. I missed another headed chance from a lovely Mills' corner later. Still it was nice to get a game and compete.
Rip Van Winkle turned down a definite penalty earlier, when M. Boyle was upended from behind, but at least that spared us the embarrassing sight of Dteve and Martin fighting over the ensuing spot kick. Brendan played well, Peter did well until he visibly tired, Andy did well replacing his brother, so much so that folk said they couldn't tell the difference between them. Andrew's the strong, silent one!
We adjourned to the bar, where chaps were struck by the personality of the barmaid so much so that they were willing to wait ages at the bar for a gargle just admiring her- "style". The sandwiches weren't bad either.
An extended session back at the Station, where a few old men chewed the fat and smoked pipes of peace, figuratively, ended for me at 4 pm when I change into a pumpkin- or is that a punchbag if a cum yem pissed. Johnny Boyle was left alone to hold the fort and a final glass of lager. A wonder if he's yem yet.
Next week a league game v Datchworth at the postage stamp Woolmer Green pitch, followed by drinks at Datchworth sports club. 1.30 kick off. Howay the lads. Oh divvint mention them lads they're friggin useless. Big Sam- Big Nancy Boy.
"Older dan dem der hills" Ron- yet I feel remarquably fresh this morning. Watch out!
Man of the match, without a doubt surely was our keeper Trevor who caught everything cleanly and saved all that was propelled toward him, including a one on one save to which one could only retort "bravo"!
Having said that, it was not a game we were lucky to win. Not at all, we played some lovely and penetrating stuff, especially in the first half, and we scored with some of our chances and Trevor saved all of theirs. Personally I was a bit chuffed when their senior players, at the end, praised our craftiness and defending from the front, the rarely noticed and not highly acclaimed art of putting yerselves in relevant positions. This was important against a team who continually play out from the back in triangles, oblongs, circles and rarely a straight line.
Mark Mills returned to something like form with some good passes and nicely flighted corners, one of which led to our first goal, butted in by birthday boy, c'est moi- 62 the day before. Al aalways get a few in the air divvint ye fret hinny! The game wore on with a 1-0 lead looking rarely enough, till a nice wee break saw a penetrating through ball from geriatric boy swallowed up by Richard, who galloped from the half way line to net unerringly. I knew it was a good pass cos Bill praised it- yes you did, I heard you.
Nick making his proper debut interested watchers by a succession of fouls (was it 7 or 8) but, hey, he was competing for the ball.
Mention must be made for Steve's visionary 40 yard diagonal ball into the area where my lovely firm header was fucking wide. Really disappointing that cos I'd read the intent and could visualisethe glory as I modestly discussed matters in the Station afterwards. I missed another headed chance from a lovely Mills' corner later. Still it was nice to get a game and compete.
Rip Van Winkle turned down a definite penalty earlier, when M. Boyle was upended from behind, but at least that spared us the embarrassing sight of Dteve and Martin fighting over the ensuing spot kick. Brendan played well, Peter did well until he visibly tired, Andy did well replacing his brother, so much so that folk said they couldn't tell the difference between them. Andrew's the strong, silent one!
We adjourned to the bar, where chaps were struck by the personality of the barmaid so much so that they were willing to wait ages at the bar for a gargle just admiring her- "style". The sandwiches weren't bad either.
An extended session back at the Station, where a few old men chewed the fat and smoked pipes of peace, figuratively, ended for me at 4 pm when I change into a pumpkin- or is that a punchbag if a cum yem pissed. Johnny Boyle was left alone to hold the fort and a final glass of lager. A wonder if he's yem yet.
Next week a league game v Datchworth at the postage stamp Woolmer Green pitch, followed by drinks at Datchworth sports club. 1.30 kick off. Howay the lads. Oh divvint mention them lads they're friggin useless. Big Sam- Big Nancy Boy.
"Older dan dem der hills" Ron- yet I feel remarquably fresh this morning. Watch out!
Friday 9 November 2007
Blog Poll
The latest poll has now finished and I think Ron will have to dress up as Father Christmas to keep the players happy!
The next poll is about another hot topic – the food in the Station after a home game. Remember it’s Friday so forget about work and get voting and writing articulate pieces on the blog.
And finally it's Rons birthday on Saturday and I'm sure it comes from all of us to wish him a very happy one with plenty of soft drinks to celebrate.
The next poll is about another hot topic – the food in the Station after a home game. Remember it’s Friday so forget about work and get voting and writing articulate pieces on the blog.
And finally it's Rons birthday on Saturday and I'm sure it comes from all of us to wish him a very happy one with plenty of soft drinks to celebrate.
Monday 5 November 2007
Knobs 3 Birchanger 3
This is the true unbiassed assessment of Sunday's game. Pish on the "in before Ron report" filched from the Birchanger site. (Pleasing to know we're not the only anoraks in the wardrobe).
A game I fully expected to end with a decisive victory for nobheads proved to be a little more problematical. Blame it on the keeper? OK I'll imbibe a few to that, but only a few. Ultimately it was down to the team not outwitting a robust and somewhat agricultural opposition. Remember it was 3-1 after 70 minutes, we, a side of flair and fitness had only scored once despite continual possession and attacks. Am I missing something here? Yes, I know chopping and changing personnel and positions hardly helps but that is something we have to live with!
We led early from a soaring Bully diagonal cross to the far post which was unstoppably volleyed by Chris Wilson. Picture move and goal. God said it's November the 4th and that is not going to be unstoppable after all, parried by the keeper it fell to Mike who slotted home from close range.
They never got remotely near our weaklink until a kick aimed at the ball from some distance saw it swirl unstoppably into our net to give them an undeserved equaliser. (Well it was unstopabble for me). Protests that it was an unfair effort, well above head height, fell on deaf ears.
Second half saw them score from a cross to the near post, then score with an unstoppable, (another one) ricochet from the foot of man of the match, Chris Wilson. Inspiration was required and a blindingly obvious substitution was made. We replaced our keeper, me, with our Yifter the Shifter facsimile, Gavin, bringing Mike back on from flag duties. It was more or less one way after that and a little more time would have seen us comfortable winners. Matt remembering he's a good little finisher scored a second, before Chris Wilson hurtled into the area, wrestling and gouging all who confronted him and saw the ball fall for Mike who equalised with a long range shot, 10 yards! This is mair like it, noo for thi winner, but twas not to be as referee for the day, Big Phil blew thi fookin whistle. Oh aye and another match ball lost up the tree.
Was it fair to take Mark off with 10 minutes left? I felt bad about it cos he'd only appeared at half time but tough decisions have to be made. It enabled me to bring Dave J on as sub on the right and put Mike Lisle back up front. Watching from the side it was bleeding obvious that that more than did the trick, but the principle of giving everyone a chance was transgressed, in a way, but only in a little way. Hope the rest of you will be as understanding, when a footballing decision needs to be made, to your own unwanted exclusion. The Knobs' unbeaten run continues.
The sausage and chips at the Station were a novelty, pity more of us and the opposition were not in attendance to sample them.
Next week away to Garston and a different team will represent the Knobs. Being over 60 is the prime prerequisite for selection but other forms of disability are taken into account.
The Unstoppable Hatchet Man
A game I fully expected to end with a decisive victory for nobheads proved to be a little more problematical. Blame it on the keeper? OK I'll imbibe a few to that, but only a few. Ultimately it was down to the team not outwitting a robust and somewhat agricultural opposition. Remember it was 3-1 after 70 minutes, we, a side of flair and fitness had only scored once despite continual possession and attacks. Am I missing something here? Yes, I know chopping and changing personnel and positions hardly helps but that is something we have to live with!
We led early from a soaring Bully diagonal cross to the far post which was unstoppably volleyed by Chris Wilson. Picture move and goal. God said it's November the 4th and that is not going to be unstoppable after all, parried by the keeper it fell to Mike who slotted home from close range.
They never got remotely near our weaklink until a kick aimed at the ball from some distance saw it swirl unstoppably into our net to give them an undeserved equaliser. (Well it was unstopabble for me). Protests that it was an unfair effort, well above head height, fell on deaf ears.
Second half saw them score from a cross to the near post, then score with an unstoppable, (another one) ricochet from the foot of man of the match, Chris Wilson. Inspiration was required and a blindingly obvious substitution was made. We replaced our keeper, me, with our Yifter the Shifter facsimile, Gavin, bringing Mike back on from flag duties. It was more or less one way after that and a little more time would have seen us comfortable winners. Matt remembering he's a good little finisher scored a second, before Chris Wilson hurtled into the area, wrestling and gouging all who confronted him and saw the ball fall for Mike who equalised with a long range shot, 10 yards! This is mair like it, noo for thi winner, but twas not to be as referee for the day, Big Phil blew thi fookin whistle. Oh aye and another match ball lost up the tree.
Was it fair to take Mark off with 10 minutes left? I felt bad about it cos he'd only appeared at half time but tough decisions have to be made. It enabled me to bring Dave J on as sub on the right and put Mike Lisle back up front. Watching from the side it was bleeding obvious that that more than did the trick, but the principle of giving everyone a chance was transgressed, in a way, but only in a little way. Hope the rest of you will be as understanding, when a footballing decision needs to be made, to your own unwanted exclusion. The Knobs' unbeaten run continues.
The sausage and chips at the Station were a novelty, pity more of us and the opposition were not in attendance to sample them.
Next week away to Garston and a different team will represent the Knobs. Being over 60 is the prime prerequisite for selection but other forms of disability are taken into account.
The Unstoppable Hatchet Man
Match report from Birchanger - in before Ron's
Match Report for 04/11/07
Knebworth v Birchanger
Birchanger Drew 3-3
Keen to build on the last two performances Birchanger travelled to Knebworth with just 12 available players but came home with a draw after another credible performance. Having taken a 3-1 lead in the second half Birchanger might have expected to win the game but conceded another soft goal late in the game and to be honest Knebworth had 3 excellent chances themselves during the second half two of which keeper Kev Roberson did brilliantly to keep out.
Birchanger started brightly enough but were to fall behind early in the game when Knebworths first effort saw them take the lead. A viscious volley from a Knebworth player was well parried by keeper Roberson but fell kindly to another Knebworth players feet and he couldn't miss. Unbowed Birchanger continued to try to play a passing game but Knebworth defended well until a nice combination between Gary Colson and Ricky Pearson saw Pearson break clear 25 yards from goal, he looked up and caught the goalkeeper off his line and saw his effort loop over the despairing keeper and into the net to make it 1-1.
Caretaker manager Gavin Tooke switched Mark Booker into attack while Gary Colson dropped into his more familiar midfield role and it soon began to reap reward as Bookers strength in the air and on the ground unsettled the home sides defence. However neither side could convert any of the chances that came their way and at half time the sides were deadlocked at 1-1.
A flurry of chances came the way of both sides as the second half got off to a great start. Knebworth were the first to threaten breaking down their right only to see the cross flash across goal with nobody able to get a touch. Birchanger almost took the lead when Mark Bookers excellent pass found Gavin Tooke running into the box his effort going just over with the keeper beaten. Knebworth created the next two firstly when they beat the offside trap and a striker might have done better but Roberson saved well at his feet with the defence caught on their heels. It was Roberson again who saved brilliantly pushing a swerving shot away for a corner to keep the scores level.
Finally Birchanger were to take the lead as they began to play the best football of the game. The breakthrough came when Mark Bookers strength got him to the byline and his cross found Gavin Tooke who again had made a strong run to the near post, lost his marker, and with a deft touch lifted the ball over the keeper. A well worked goal to make it 2-1. Birchangers dominance was rewarded further when Mark Booker then scored himself. After surging into the area he tried his luck and his shot went in after a couple of deflections but nothing would stop Booker claiming his first goal for the Vets which was well deserved.
For the second week running Birchanger either took the foot off the gas or panicked a little having got their noses in front. Firstly they conceded a well worked goal which saw a Knebworth player burst clear and finish well. Then with only 10 minutes left the visitors managed to concede yet another soft goal when a defensive error saw Steve Foster lose the ball in a dangerous area and Knebworth profited to grab the equaliser. Birchanger will feel disappointed but the result was probably about right and this was the 3rd good performance in a row which should help boost their confidence after a shaky beginning to last month.
Knebworth v Birchanger
Birchanger Drew 3-3
Keen to build on the last two performances Birchanger travelled to Knebworth with just 12 available players but came home with a draw after another credible performance. Having taken a 3-1 lead in the second half Birchanger might have expected to win the game but conceded another soft goal late in the game and to be honest Knebworth had 3 excellent chances themselves during the second half two of which keeper Kev Roberson did brilliantly to keep out.
Birchanger started brightly enough but were to fall behind early in the game when Knebworths first effort saw them take the lead. A viscious volley from a Knebworth player was well parried by keeper Roberson but fell kindly to another Knebworth players feet and he couldn't miss. Unbowed Birchanger continued to try to play a passing game but Knebworth defended well until a nice combination between Gary Colson and Ricky Pearson saw Pearson break clear 25 yards from goal, he looked up and caught the goalkeeper off his line and saw his effort loop over the despairing keeper and into the net to make it 1-1.
Caretaker manager Gavin Tooke switched Mark Booker into attack while Gary Colson dropped into his more familiar midfield role and it soon began to reap reward as Bookers strength in the air and on the ground unsettled the home sides defence. However neither side could convert any of the chances that came their way and at half time the sides were deadlocked at 1-1.
A flurry of chances came the way of both sides as the second half got off to a great start. Knebworth were the first to threaten breaking down their right only to see the cross flash across goal with nobody able to get a touch. Birchanger almost took the lead when Mark Bookers excellent pass found Gavin Tooke running into the box his effort going just over with the keeper beaten. Knebworth created the next two firstly when they beat the offside trap and a striker might have done better but Roberson saved well at his feet with the defence caught on their heels. It was Roberson again who saved brilliantly pushing a swerving shot away for a corner to keep the scores level.
Finally Birchanger were to take the lead as they began to play the best football of the game. The breakthrough came when Mark Bookers strength got him to the byline and his cross found Gavin Tooke who again had made a strong run to the near post, lost his marker, and with a deft touch lifted the ball over the keeper. A well worked goal to make it 2-1. Birchangers dominance was rewarded further when Mark Booker then scored himself. After surging into the area he tried his luck and his shot went in after a couple of deflections but nothing would stop Booker claiming his first goal for the Vets which was well deserved.
For the second week running Birchanger either took the foot off the gas or panicked a little having got their noses in front. Firstly they conceded a well worked goal which saw a Knebworth player burst clear and finish well. Then with only 10 minutes left the visitors managed to concede yet another soft goal when a defensive error saw Steve Foster lose the ball in a dangerous area and Knebworth profited to grab the equaliser. Birchanger will feel disappointed but the result was probably about right and this was the 3rd good performance in a row which should help boost their confidence after a shaky beginning to last month.
Friday 2 November 2007
Blog Poll
The latest poll is now finished and quite a few think that it would be fantastic to have player ratings and a man of the match award after each game followed closely by Ron having his hands full of hairy swingers.
The next poll is about the forthcoming team meeting on Friday 30th November so get voting.
And just to remind you all that this blog is open to all and everyone can post comments anonymously and under others names . It is therefore open to abuse not just by knobs members but by infiltrators lurking menacingly on the Internet so take it all with a pinch of salt or a pint of lager, whatever you prefer. I'll have the lager.
The next poll is about the forthcoming team meeting on Friday 30th November so get voting.
And just to remind you all that this blog is open to all and everyone can post comments anonymously and under others names . It is therefore open to abuse not just by knobs members but by infiltrators lurking menacingly on the Internet so take it all with a pinch of salt or a pint of lager, whatever you prefer. I'll have the lager.
Monday 29 October 2007
Kempston 1 Knobs 4
Four wins on the trot. Well done.
Our longest away fixture, to dreary Bedford, the day of the clocks going back and a rainy windswept one at that. Spirits rose on arrival at Kempston on discovering a totally revamped sporting complex. Everything new, a stadium, a lovely manicured pitch then the reality. We were playing on the back pitch, a women's game in the arena taking precedence. Still it was a canny pitch.
Several players had aborted over the past 24 hours so there were 12 of us to do battle. Someone said Kempston had beaten Histon 5-1 last week to which one thought what or where is Histon.
Kicking downhill in the first half with a fierce breeze behind us did not suit. They scored first, as a bit of showboatin gave them the ball to do something with, which they did. A square ball to Phil some 30 yards out and dead centre saw him drive home with power. Half time 1-1.
Second half against the wind, it was all one way, our way. They hardly threatened as they were garrotted in midfield and undone by pace and verve up front. Matt scored a bit of a freak, which trickled over the line, all the more glorious, then Mike scored from close range and a tight angle after another breathtaking sprint by Gavin. Gavin had pace to burn and he did so, shaking off his flu symptoms in the best possible way. Are yi listnin Mark? Matt added a fourth with a delicious flighted shot from 20 yards. Their keeper saved them on several occasions and we contrived to miss a few. Satisfactory result. The Eagle beer was canny afterwards complementing the corned beef sandwiches and wodges of pastry and gristle somewhat elegantly.
Those of us with Steve enjoyed a rather scenic drive yem via every village in NW Hertfordshire.
Debbie's second effort at selling a dominoe card got the bum's rush (not surprisingly as he won the first) and he and I retired for a final pint in the Station sometime around midnight.
The next two weeks see us with a glut of player availablity and two friendlies, home to Birchanger and away to Garston. I would welcome chaps to contact me as to whether they have preferences as to which match they would like to play in. The Garston game is going to require we field our oldest side possible. I have some ideas as to who will participate in either or both but if you're not that bothered help me out.
By the way Kevin dropped out injured, Carl had weekend work and the Mills' brothers were ill. We look forward to hearing from the groupies attending Liverpool's Cavern Club to experience Knebworth's only geriatric rock 'n roll band, mostly ex-Knobs players who took up this pensioners' hobby when their vets' football days were over. Yi see footie, it's a young man's game!
Young Ron, who played the young man's game, obviously.
Our longest away fixture, to dreary Bedford, the day of the clocks going back and a rainy windswept one at that. Spirits rose on arrival at Kempston on discovering a totally revamped sporting complex. Everything new, a stadium, a lovely manicured pitch then the reality. We were playing on the back pitch, a women's game in the arena taking precedence. Still it was a canny pitch.
Several players had aborted over the past 24 hours so there were 12 of us to do battle. Someone said Kempston had beaten Histon 5-1 last week to which one thought what or where is Histon.
Kicking downhill in the first half with a fierce breeze behind us did not suit. They scored first, as a bit of showboatin gave them the ball to do something with, which they did. A square ball to Phil some 30 yards out and dead centre saw him drive home with power. Half time 1-1.
Second half against the wind, it was all one way, our way. They hardly threatened as they were garrotted in midfield and undone by pace and verve up front. Matt scored a bit of a freak, which trickled over the line, all the more glorious, then Mike scored from close range and a tight angle after another breathtaking sprint by Gavin. Gavin had pace to burn and he did so, shaking off his flu symptoms in the best possible way. Are yi listnin Mark? Matt added a fourth with a delicious flighted shot from 20 yards. Their keeper saved them on several occasions and we contrived to miss a few. Satisfactory result. The Eagle beer was canny afterwards complementing the corned beef sandwiches and wodges of pastry and gristle somewhat elegantly.
Those of us with Steve enjoyed a rather scenic drive yem via every village in NW Hertfordshire.
Debbie's second effort at selling a dominoe card got the bum's rush (not surprisingly as he won the first) and he and I retired for a final pint in the Station sometime around midnight.
The next two weeks see us with a glut of player availablity and two friendlies, home to Birchanger and away to Garston. I would welcome chaps to contact me as to whether they have preferences as to which match they would like to play in. The Garston game is going to require we field our oldest side possible. I have some ideas as to who will participate in either or both but if you're not that bothered help me out.
By the way Kevin dropped out injured, Carl had weekend work and the Mills' brothers were ill. We look forward to hearing from the groupies attending Liverpool's Cavern Club to experience Knebworth's only geriatric rock 'n roll band, mostly ex-Knobs players who took up this pensioners' hobby when their vets' football days were over. Yi see footie, it's a young man's game!
Young Ron, who played the young man's game, obviously.
Friday 26 October 2007
Blog Poll
The latest poll has now finished and most think that the longer serving and more elderly members of the club should have a chance so it’s down to Ron now as long as he declines the Spurs job and stays with us.
The next poll is about rating players after a game so get voting.
And if anyone has any ideas for future polls then please let me know. A poll on savoury snacks has been suggested and is on the shortbread, I mean list.
The next poll is about rating players after a game so get voting.
And if anyone has any ideas for future polls then please let me know. A poll on savoury snacks has been suggested and is on the shortbread, I mean list.
Thursday 25 October 2007
League: latest information
Copy of an email received by Ron from Andy who runs the league. Everyone who is under 35 or looks young (not many but definitely me!) will need to bring ID with them. This info could probably be added to Ron's new chart with weight of sacks!
Hi losers,
Updated results and league table. As always, any errors please let me know - and, please, again, let me have your scorers if you haven't already done so - this year it looks like there could be three or four candidates for the Golden Boot award, so every goal counts and every goals a hole.
On a more serious note, yet again I've had complaints about the ages of players. Where possible, I try to deal with any criticism objectively and see no point embarking on a witch hunt - in other words, I try to make it impersonal in the hope that those involved will sort out any perceived problems themselves. However, what I'm now getting is more than just mild concern - it is turning to anger and that cannot be good for the future of the league.
Everyone knows the rules, yet it appears they are being flaunted. I've got to the stage with this where I propose that the rules that exist are rigidly enforced. If this means teams have to bring proof of age with them, then so be it - it isn't working allowing teams to self police,and after one incident this weekend, there is little point in having a referee who just ignores any concerns that are raised. Accordingly,could I ask for your vote on whether you think if there is any doubt that a team satisfies the age rule before kick off, that team has aright to be given the ages of the players and if this proves that a sideis underage THE GAME IS AUTOMATICALLY FORFEIT 1-0 TO THE OPPOSITION.This is a bit Draconian, but it is of course unlikely to bother the majority like myself who are 50+, but I suggest any team with younger players, or even those who look young should consider having ID with them.
I know the above is heavy handed and almost patronising and I'm sorry for that, but I feel I've no choice but to spell out the concerns that have been raised in the hope everyone will respond in the right manner -if that means the rules have to be updated to achieve that, then so be it.
Cheers
Andy P
Hi losers,
Updated results and league table. As always, any errors please let me know - and, please, again, let me have your scorers if you haven't already done so - this year it looks like there could be three or four candidates for the Golden Boot award, so every goal counts and every goals a hole.
On a more serious note, yet again I've had complaints about the ages of players. Where possible, I try to deal with any criticism objectively and see no point embarking on a witch hunt - in other words, I try to make it impersonal in the hope that those involved will sort out any perceived problems themselves. However, what I'm now getting is more than just mild concern - it is turning to anger and that cannot be good for the future of the league.
Everyone knows the rules, yet it appears they are being flaunted. I've got to the stage with this where I propose that the rules that exist are rigidly enforced. If this means teams have to bring proof of age with them, then so be it - it isn't working allowing teams to self police,and after one incident this weekend, there is little point in having a referee who just ignores any concerns that are raised. Accordingly,could I ask for your vote on whether you think if there is any doubt that a team satisfies the age rule before kick off, that team has aright to be given the ages of the players and if this proves that a sideis underage THE GAME IS AUTOMATICALLY FORFEIT 1-0 TO THE OPPOSITION.This is a bit Draconian, but it is of course unlikely to bother the majority like myself who are 50+, but I suggest any team with younger players, or even those who look young should consider having ID with them.
I know the above is heavy handed and almost patronising and I'm sorry for that, but I feel I've no choice but to spell out the concerns that have been raised in the hope everyone will respond in the right manner -if that means the rules have to be updated to achieve that, then so be it.
Cheers
Andy P
Monday 22 October 2007
Knobs 3 Saints 1
Another three points -actually our first three points- unbeaten in three games , very satisfactory. Controversial game, in the sense, that we kept to the side which was playing so well whilst the game was highly competitive. Apologies were made to the 3 subs, used in the final 20 minutes or so, by which time we were 3-0 up, but at least we are still competing in the league. Next week's game v Kempston will see us reverting to on- off subs every nanosecond, should any subs be available.
Anyway the performance on Sunday was a notch above normal in terms of physical effort, determination and teamwork as well as flair, passing ability and a desire to keep the ball. Well done! This opposition are no mugs and kept grittily involved right to the end.
First goal , a 25 yard thunderbolt from Matty into the top corner. The goalie neither saw nor spelt it, as good a shot and as fierce as you'll see in the Premiership- perhaps some good comes from watching Arsenal! Mind that clown Adeebiyorrr he could nivvor hit one like that
Second goal, a challenge from a flighted Bully corner was nutted in by a determined, then delighted John Twigg, who it has to be said was having a stormer at left back, some of his challenging headers were both towering and brain cell destroying.
Third goal, another of our many pleasant-on-the-eye attacks seemed to have broken down, but Mark 'never say die ' Mills raced to retrieve a ball going out then dispatched a cross which was accurately nutted in by Matt.
Their consolation goal came after Blind Pew, the referee, failed to notice their forward gently placing the ball down his shorts and ignoring a choir of lusty shouts for handball, allowed play on from which they scored.
Wye lad it wiz a canny game mind even though their number thorteen wiz a birrova bullsy, so there wi gan. Am so happy, all be tappy lappy aal neet when the bonny lads torn thi Spors ower the neet. A hate ti see grown men cry so al not be lookin ower wor fence inti Johnny Boyle's garden, al just leave him ti grieve privately. Prediction Newcastle 3 Spors nought. Owen, Martins and Milner ti score.
Howay thi lads.
Blind Pew
PS Never Say Die
Anyway the performance on Sunday was a notch above normal in terms of physical effort, determination and teamwork as well as flair, passing ability and a desire to keep the ball. Well done! This opposition are no mugs and kept grittily involved right to the end.
First goal , a 25 yard thunderbolt from Matty into the top corner. The goalie neither saw nor spelt it, as good a shot and as fierce as you'll see in the Premiership- perhaps some good comes from watching Arsenal! Mind that clown Adeebiyorrr he could nivvor hit one like that
Second goal, a challenge from a flighted Bully corner was nutted in by a determined, then delighted John Twigg, who it has to be said was having a stormer at left back, some of his challenging headers were both towering and brain cell destroying.
Third goal, another of our many pleasant-on-the-eye attacks seemed to have broken down, but Mark 'never say die ' Mills raced to retrieve a ball going out then dispatched a cross which was accurately nutted in by Matt.
Their consolation goal came after Blind Pew, the referee, failed to notice their forward gently placing the ball down his shorts and ignoring a choir of lusty shouts for handball, allowed play on from which they scored.
Wye lad it wiz a canny game mind even though their number thorteen wiz a birrova bullsy, so there wi gan. Am so happy, all be tappy lappy aal neet when the bonny lads torn thi Spors ower the neet. A hate ti see grown men cry so al not be lookin ower wor fence inti Johnny Boyle's garden, al just leave him ti grieve privately. Prediction Newcastle 3 Spors nought. Owen, Martins and Milner ti score.
Howay thi lads.
Blind Pew
PS Never Say Die
Friday 19 October 2007
Blog Poll
The current poll has now finished and finally ended in a draw between Hobnobs and Garibaldi biscuits though ‘Fuckoff you loser’ came quite close.
The next poll is another hot topic from the blog this week so give your view and and cast your vote.
The next poll is another hot topic from the blog this week so give your view and and cast your vote.
Sunday 14 October 2007
Knobs 7 Old Pretenders 3
Early Sunday evening listening to JohnnyCash and wondering how you all spend the rest of your Sundays after THE match. Do you walk the dogs, feed the ducks, dream about how better you were in days now gone by, (an understandable failing in a once born-once died existence) or are you permitted the opportunity to snooze before bedtime beckons? Do you indeed wonder what's the fucking point?
Today a vast multitude of availables turned out gin the 10 men of Old Pretenders (Internationale). A bit of a headache making sure everyone got a chance for a slice of the 90 minutes. By the way I am so old that I can say I hate substitutes it's such a recipe for internecine warfare. If a bloke dies on the pitch then I can recognise a possible rati0nale for substitutes but other than that a canna think of an obvious need.
Fortunately Carl stepped into a breach giving them an eleventh man in the first half. He was up against a post-gout John Boyle, who looks a sure fire selection for the hapless Spus anyday now.
"Anyday now giving your love to me .....".
Despite some very pleasant on the eye football we contrived to miss several early chances, stand up "ferret killer" (who contributed to play well to be fair), we but managed to do more difficult things in ensuing our 3-0 half time lead- a terrific individual shot from Matt (miles out), a sweet move and a deadly finish from the Bull and a run through from Martin culminating in an exquisite chip (some said he fucked it up but not from where I was lounging).
Half time saw Nick, making his debut for us, replace Carl as their 11th man and then prove to be their most competitive man in the second half viz. some skirmishes with the aforementioned Carl, who came on for us. Did they kiss and make up or did they only kiss, I don't really know and I wouldn't like to say. Nick's father, watching, lost the match ball sometime during the first half, slicing it into a nearby garden. Seems familiar Nick. I'll get it back tomorrow, after all I struggled through nettles and dog shite last week to find that fucker. Anyway I know the neighbour whose garden it entered, think his name is Ornery Cunt- perhaps I'll send Mr Boyle to get it.
How many misses in the second half from Messieurs Mills and Lisle? They both scored one each but even my left nipple at its lactating best could have scored Mark's. They managed to pull one back through an inexplicable raid down the middle, John Boyle scored a cheeky one from the most knicker elastic of angles and late on, after a second for Matt, and a succession of corners from Carl, cascading conkers from every conceivable tree, they managed curiously to smuggle a third. Mind you a sneaky deal between Steve Hammond and Trevor releasing the latter from his goalkeeping duties might have contributed to that. Oh yes, the second goal of theirs, ushered in that near post might have increased Trevor's longings for a role outfield. And this after weeks of goalkeeping hurt when I have been lauding Trevor's goalkeeping prowess to all who might contemplate listening. This bloke is unbeatable quoth I.
To the pub. Or the wake. A moderate turn out, sandwiches were there, consistent and cold, colder than the Stella and there the old braves chewed the fat over the morning's happenings.
Ron
Today a vast multitude of availables turned out gin the 10 men of Old Pretenders (Internationale). A bit of a headache making sure everyone got a chance for a slice of the 90 minutes. By the way I am so old that I can say I hate substitutes it's such a recipe for internecine warfare. If a bloke dies on the pitch then I can recognise a possible rati0nale for substitutes but other than that a canna think of an obvious need.
Fortunately Carl stepped into a breach giving them an eleventh man in the first half. He was up against a post-gout John Boyle, who looks a sure fire selection for the hapless Spus anyday now.
"Anyday now giving your love to me .....".
Despite some very pleasant on the eye football we contrived to miss several early chances, stand up "ferret killer" (who contributed to play well to be fair), we but managed to do more difficult things in ensuing our 3-0 half time lead- a terrific individual shot from Matt (miles out), a sweet move and a deadly finish from the Bull and a run through from Martin culminating in an exquisite chip (some said he fucked it up but not from where I was lounging).
Half time saw Nick, making his debut for us, replace Carl as their 11th man and then prove to be their most competitive man in the second half viz. some skirmishes with the aforementioned Carl, who came on for us. Did they kiss and make up or did they only kiss, I don't really know and I wouldn't like to say. Nick's father, watching, lost the match ball sometime during the first half, slicing it into a nearby garden. Seems familiar Nick. I'll get it back tomorrow, after all I struggled through nettles and dog shite last week to find that fucker. Anyway I know the neighbour whose garden it entered, think his name is Ornery Cunt- perhaps I'll send Mr Boyle to get it.
How many misses in the second half from Messieurs Mills and Lisle? They both scored one each but even my left nipple at its lactating best could have scored Mark's. They managed to pull one back through an inexplicable raid down the middle, John Boyle scored a cheeky one from the most knicker elastic of angles and late on, after a second for Matt, and a succession of corners from Carl, cascading conkers from every conceivable tree, they managed curiously to smuggle a third. Mind you a sneaky deal between Steve Hammond and Trevor releasing the latter from his goalkeeping duties might have contributed to that. Oh yes, the second goal of theirs, ushered in that near post might have increased Trevor's longings for a role outfield. And this after weeks of goalkeeping hurt when I have been lauding Trevor's goalkeeping prowess to all who might contemplate listening. This bloke is unbeatable quoth I.
To the pub. Or the wake. A moderate turn out, sandwiches were there, consistent and cold, colder than the Stella and there the old braves chewed the fat over the morning's happenings.
Ron
Friday 12 October 2007
Last Sunday at Therfield
Do you remember the delayed start to the second half? It transpired the old guy reffing had gone for a shit! He never did return did he? Definitely a case for Miss Marple "The mystery of the missing ferrets allied to a referee shitting bricks somewhere". Can anyone spot any connection cos am buggered if a can. I'll just away ind watter me leeks.
Toodlepip.
Gerry Hattrick
Toodlepip.
Gerry Hattrick
Wednesday 10 October 2007
League: latest information
Email received from Andy Pandy who runs the league that we are in:
Hi Ron you cunt,
I have received a full disclosure of the ages of all Goldings players.Short of seeing their birth certificates, it would appear that they did not field any more than 2 players who were under 35 at any one time,albeit they fully accept that they did have 4 available players out of13 who were under 35, 2 of which being in their 20's and they also fully appreciate that the average age of their squad is also low, meaning they will be seen as a young Vets side.
However, in light of the above, they are not doing anything wrong based on the rules we all signed up to. Despite this, I've asked them to consider the spirit of the league as distinct from just the written rules by trying to get a slightly better balance to the team, and have at the same time reminded them that if they do not field a "qualifying team" then they run the risk that the game can be forfeit 1-0 to the opposition anyway.
I hope that as the season progresses things will work out and you'll reconsider staying in the league next year - it may be, of course, that we change the rules so that, say, the 2 players under 35 still have tobe at least 30 - that would take out the 20 year old element that you are most unhappy with. One to ponder I guess and maybe take a vote atthe year end.
Yours big wig
Andy
Hi Ron you cunt,
I have received a full disclosure of the ages of all Goldings players.Short of seeing their birth certificates, it would appear that they did not field any more than 2 players who were under 35 at any one time,albeit they fully accept that they did have 4 available players out of13 who were under 35, 2 of which being in their 20's and they also fully appreciate that the average age of their squad is also low, meaning they will be seen as a young Vets side.
However, in light of the above, they are not doing anything wrong based on the rules we all signed up to. Despite this, I've asked them to consider the spirit of the league as distinct from just the written rules by trying to get a slightly better balance to the team, and have at the same time reminded them that if they do not field a "qualifying team" then they run the risk that the game can be forfeit 1-0 to the opposition anyway.
I hope that as the season progresses things will work out and you'll reconsider staying in the league next year - it may be, of course, that we change the rules so that, say, the 2 players under 35 still have tobe at least 30 - that would take out the 20 year old element that you are most unhappy with. One to ponder I guess and maybe take a vote atthe year end.
Yours big wig
Andy
Tuesday Training at the Odyssey
Tuesday night training at the Odyssey started yesterday and 7 people turned up. Lots of people expressed an interest in the training but not many of them appeared last night!
We need to get about 10 people each week to make it worthwhile so don’t just say it but do it and turn up.
Anyway must go and have a cup of tea and a biscuit.
Bye bye
We need to get about 10 people each week to make it worthwhile so don’t just say it but do it and turn up.
Anyway must go and have a cup of tea and a biscuit.
Bye bye
Monday 8 October 2007
Therfield 2 Knobs 3
Comfortable as 10 men laboured against 10 on a silent, balmy October day. unnerving tranquillity- probably contributed to low energy levels of both sides and a true veterans' game ensued.
Scoring- Phil smashes home a 25 yd left footer before they equalise with a speculative high one- too high for pygmy boy. Second half Carl's spilled shot was gobbled up by Richard following in, quickly followed by a Chris Wilson effort. Late on Therfield found three men unmarked on the far post- loitering there from a move which broke down some five hours earlier- one of them picked his spot.
We missed loads- some good saves- some shots just wide and some only-the goalie to beat. Stand up John T and stand up that late arrival Mark -the- canary, but to us, the- camel- Mills. Eh lad but yer a rusty camel- yer need a good fuckin oiling.
Mark, having misread 3 e-mails, turned up toward end of first half. (Discussion on non received e- mails ensues- they nearly score). "How many have we got?" "10, get changed" (Discussion on viral complaint that has laid him low these past days- they attack again). "Mark I'm trying to create a passable impression of playing in goal, go and get changed if yer up to playing".
Half time comes and goes, comes and goes, comes and goes, the weather continues balmy, Mark is somewhere, we change ends for so is the custom...zzzzzzzz!
Ten minutes into second half Mark arrives, resplendent in orange, rarin' to go!
"Have yer got any shinpads?" "Nah a dinna use them n if a had ad be wearin them"
"Have yer got any shinpads?" We defend a corner successfully. "Nah play without them".
"Chris have yer got any shinpads?". Phil queries whether we are getting an eleventh man. "In probability no, but yer never can tell- can yer function with a camel?"
5 minutes later, possibly an aeon, "is the dressing room open?", for it is he! "How div a knaa if the dressin room's open am tryin to play in goal ower here". "Have you got the key?"
Silence, they nearly score. "Hev a got the key?- what's gannin on here?"
Some time later a think al try summat clivvor, dribble the baal oot and pass it. First part accomplished but just as I was ganna pass to the left, a sudden realisation that the recipient of the pass was fully clad on the line but not yet part of play- fuckin hell it's the Marie Celeste at starboard, a change of tack, give the ball away in shock, they nearly score. As Therfield said the eleventh man was very influential. Mark then came on with 20 minutes left and what a sight, he had nae shinpads but he had a pair of ferrets stuffed doon each sock. Didn't help him though they had nae bite.
MARK ARE YOU AVAILABLE SUNDAY AT HOME- OCTOBER 14-10.30 KO? Your turn for the kit.
An aside , hey they had some big lads playing. Nah am mean some really big big lads. Chris took some gettin roond that centre forward. Navigational aids nivvor shin pads were the requisite equipment. Therfield water supply?
Next week Mark and 10 others will take on the might of the Old Pretenders in a friendly.
Half man half biscuit and three quarters bactrian at your service.
Scoring- Phil smashes home a 25 yd left footer before they equalise with a speculative high one- too high for pygmy boy. Second half Carl's spilled shot was gobbled up by Richard following in, quickly followed by a Chris Wilson effort. Late on Therfield found three men unmarked on the far post- loitering there from a move which broke down some five hours earlier- one of them picked his spot.
We missed loads- some good saves- some shots just wide and some only-the goalie to beat. Stand up John T and stand up that late arrival Mark -the- canary, but to us, the- camel- Mills. Eh lad but yer a rusty camel- yer need a good fuckin oiling.
Mark, having misread 3 e-mails, turned up toward end of first half. (Discussion on non received e- mails ensues- they nearly score). "How many have we got?" "10, get changed" (Discussion on viral complaint that has laid him low these past days- they attack again). "Mark I'm trying to create a passable impression of playing in goal, go and get changed if yer up to playing".
Half time comes and goes, comes and goes, comes and goes, the weather continues balmy, Mark is somewhere, we change ends for so is the custom...zzzzzzzz!
Ten minutes into second half Mark arrives, resplendent in orange, rarin' to go!
"Have yer got any shinpads?" "Nah a dinna use them n if a had ad be wearin them"
"Have yer got any shinpads?" We defend a corner successfully. "Nah play without them".
"Chris have yer got any shinpads?". Phil queries whether we are getting an eleventh man. "In probability no, but yer never can tell- can yer function with a camel?"
5 minutes later, possibly an aeon, "is the dressing room open?", for it is he! "How div a knaa if the dressin room's open am tryin to play in goal ower here". "Have you got the key?"
Silence, they nearly score. "Hev a got the key?- what's gannin on here?"
Some time later a think al try summat clivvor, dribble the baal oot and pass it. First part accomplished but just as I was ganna pass to the left, a sudden realisation that the recipient of the pass was fully clad on the line but not yet part of play- fuckin hell it's the Marie Celeste at starboard, a change of tack, give the ball away in shock, they nearly score. As Therfield said the eleventh man was very influential. Mark then came on with 20 minutes left and what a sight, he had nae shinpads but he had a pair of ferrets stuffed doon each sock. Didn't help him though they had nae bite.
MARK ARE YOU AVAILABLE SUNDAY AT HOME- OCTOBER 14-10.30 KO? Your turn for the kit.
An aside , hey they had some big lads playing. Nah am mean some really big big lads. Chris took some gettin roond that centre forward. Navigational aids nivvor shin pads were the requisite equipment. Therfield water supply?
Next week Mark and 10 others will take on the might of the Old Pretenders in a friendly.
Half man half biscuit and three quarters bactrian at your service.
Tuesday 2 October 2007
Goldcheats 1 Knobs 1
A reasonable result, tight at the back passage and busty up front but we still scored. Missed a few mind, a penchant for the pretty, over passing and good chances surprisingly missed? They had a bit of energy but were effectively dealt with (a kin see wye they play vets footbaal their lair o youngins, naebody their oun age wid give thim a gyem. Tek awa their bit o runnin and thi heavy breathin n thir emasculated. Fackin yapless).
Matt scored put through by a sumptious Bully through ball. Everyone contributed and kept going to the end, in John B's and AN Other's case that consisted of leaving the Station Hotel by 6.30, having imbibed a few with us merry band of few at 3 Horse Shoes on way yem. John is disciplined and dropped for this week, the early pub beckons.
(Didn't the other bonny lads dae well? Beaten 3-1 by a bunch of forriners, coming ower here and tekkin wi jobs an wi wimmin, what's things comin tae. Did a see them? Hadaway ti hell, thi buggers didnt come to see me when a wiz sick. Ah the glory days of 1969 are still fresh in me mind - we won the Inter City (ounly us in it?) nah Inter Cities Fairs Cup- ah was at the second leg at St James'- a think? nah a tell a lie a was, a was there with a bonny Geordie lass caaled Ann Hope. Moncur was captain- he was hopeless a thought, wot does anyone else think?)
Next week Therfield away, fairish team, friendly, good pub for grub afterwards.
Di yi think Friday's bondage session went aal reet? A bit disappointing a thoght cos the ounly whip a saw was the one I was carrying all neet in a pormanent vigil at the bar. A good turnout- next one is a Knebworth treasure hunt, "find a pub." December date to be announced.
Lash Larue
PS we cares who friggin scored for Goldnobs!
Matt scored put through by a sumptious Bully through ball. Everyone contributed and kept going to the end, in John B's and AN Other's case that consisted of leaving the Station Hotel by 6.30, having imbibed a few with us merry band of few at 3 Horse Shoes on way yem. John is disciplined and dropped for this week, the early pub beckons.
(Didn't the other bonny lads dae well? Beaten 3-1 by a bunch of forriners, coming ower here and tekkin wi jobs an wi wimmin, what's things comin tae. Did a see them? Hadaway ti hell, thi buggers didnt come to see me when a wiz sick. Ah the glory days of 1969 are still fresh in me mind - we won the Inter City (ounly us in it?) nah Inter Cities Fairs Cup- ah was at the second leg at St James'- a think? nah a tell a lie a was, a was there with a bonny Geordie lass caaled Ann Hope. Moncur was captain- he was hopeless a thought, wot does anyone else think?)
Next week Therfield away, fairish team, friendly, good pub for grub afterwards.
Di yi think Friday's bondage session went aal reet? A bit disappointing a thoght cos the ounly whip a saw was the one I was carrying all neet in a pormanent vigil at the bar. A good turnout- next one is a Knebworth treasure hunt, "find a pub." December date to be announced.
Lash Larue
PS we cares who friggin scored for Goldnobs!
Monday 1 October 2007
league: for information
e-mail sent to league bloke at st albans today.
No point going to 40 + just keep it at traditional vets level, 35+!
Goldings had many 20 year olds! The son of one of their players is the 24 year old son of their ref, who was recently going out with our centre half's daughter, the son that is !
As for not being able to recruit older players, we used to beat Goldings fairly comfortably yet since this league started they've mysteriously morphed into a very young side- Bob doesn't play nor does the ref anymore, and several of us are older than them.
Also they had several subs which meant two or three who were on the side at any one time were true vets with the ringers on the field. We had 1 sub- all our players were vets and we feel that their vets should have been on the field matching their skills and longevity against us.If someone was suffering from some near fatal injury then and only then should a youngster come on and replace them.
When the vets league was mooted I would have thought all those who put themselves forward were vets' teams- no point an under 21- club putting themselves forward I would have thought! The league gets started and suddenly youth is all the rage- Ware have told me that Sandy have used that 19 year old for the second year running- yes he apparently scored another hattrick against poor old Ware! We do not accept puny excuses and ultimately cheating and will continue to fulfil our fixtures this season but despite your obvious hard work and organising we won't be continuing next season. What must be acknowledged is yes it's only a game- well then 'friendlies' are quite suitable, but for some reason in competitive situations when youngsters are turning on their arrogance alongside their definite superiority in physiques, energy and running ability nasty retaliations become highly possible- re our game with St Helens last season, who by the way continue to be far from being a vets team. Sorry to be harbinger of crap tidings but there we are, we are a vets side who wish to test our diminishing skills and memory banks among our peers.
Personally, I recognise there has to be a vets cut off point be it 35 or 33 or 43 but it is universally recognised as 35 so why don't people just stick to it, what's the glory or enjoyment in winning, drawing or even losing with your team packed with youngsters? Ultimately it's unfair, it's cheating.
Ron
No point going to 40 + just keep it at traditional vets level, 35+!
Goldings had many 20 year olds! The son of one of their players is the 24 year old son of their ref, who was recently going out with our centre half's daughter, the son that is !
As for not being able to recruit older players, we used to beat Goldings fairly comfortably yet since this league started they've mysteriously morphed into a very young side- Bob doesn't play nor does the ref anymore, and several of us are older than them.
Also they had several subs which meant two or three who were on the side at any one time were true vets with the ringers on the field. We had 1 sub- all our players were vets and we feel that their vets should have been on the field matching their skills and longevity against us.If someone was suffering from some near fatal injury then and only then should a youngster come on and replace them.
When the vets league was mooted I would have thought all those who put themselves forward were vets' teams- no point an under 21- club putting themselves forward I would have thought! The league gets started and suddenly youth is all the rage- Ware have told me that Sandy have used that 19 year old for the second year running- yes he apparently scored another hattrick against poor old Ware! We do not accept puny excuses and ultimately cheating and will continue to fulfil our fixtures this season but despite your obvious hard work and organising we won't be continuing next season. What must be acknowledged is yes it's only a game- well then 'friendlies' are quite suitable, but for some reason in competitive situations when youngsters are turning on their arrogance alongside their definite superiority in physiques, energy and running ability nasty retaliations become highly possible- re our game with St Helens last season, who by the way continue to be far from being a vets team. Sorry to be harbinger of crap tidings but there we are, we are a vets side who wish to test our diminishing skills and memory banks among our peers.
Personally, I recognise there has to be a vets cut off point be it 35 or 33 or 43 but it is universally recognised as 35 so why don't people just stick to it, what's the glory or enjoyment in winning, drawing or even losing with your team packed with youngsters? Ultimately it's unfair, it's cheating.
Ron
Tuesday 25 September 2007
Knobs 2 Sandy 3
All who participated could not believe we got nowt from this game. Still it was competitive without being nasty and most players, including theirs, descended on The Station afterwards,where true connoisseurs of the round ball game witnessed the demolition of West Ham by the bonny lads in black and white. I digress, back to the league game where we were ahead twice through sumptious Gavin strikes, especially the first, only to be pegged back by two less than glorious goals before they notched their winner from the penalty spot. All in all, all very unfortunate, we ran them close and they weren't their usual cocky selves.
A lovely cross headed in unerringly by Richard was chalked off by Carl's flag and my reffing- very close! Sandy didn't complain about our officiating then but did they go ballistic when I gave our second goal, in my view legitimately, shortly afterwards. "Cheats, cunts "...and the usual boring litany that passes for democratic comment on a football pitch. Their linesman wasn't even watching, was miles behind the play and only flagged in obedience to his masters' voices well after the ball was in the net. Thinking back, I know I was right to give a goal for several reasons, not the least being the ref's decision is final, yer tek the rough wi thi smooth and gerron wi life or in this case the game. Wait till we play with their qualified ref yill get nowt.
Well played lads, I can only say that mistakes have cost us these past couple of games but some of the football has been brisk, compact and imaginative. Next week it's Goldings, who will probably win the league and can be nasty. Last season's closing match saw us deny them the title with a fine 3-0 win, a match which culminated in the near fatal strangulation of Trevor and the nutting of Bill (our ref). An interesting morning following on from Friday's bondage session seems guaranteed.
Oh a forgot "Howay the lads" - latest score Arsenal 0 The Lads 0
ron
A lovely cross headed in unerringly by Richard was chalked off by Carl's flag and my reffing- very close! Sandy didn't complain about our officiating then but did they go ballistic when I gave our second goal, in my view legitimately, shortly afterwards. "Cheats, cunts "...and the usual boring litany that passes for democratic comment on a football pitch. Their linesman wasn't even watching, was miles behind the play and only flagged in obedience to his masters' voices well after the ball was in the net. Thinking back, I know I was right to give a goal for several reasons, not the least being the ref's decision is final, yer tek the rough wi thi smooth and gerron wi life or in this case the game. Wait till we play with their qualified ref yill get nowt.
Well played lads, I can only say that mistakes have cost us these past couple of games but some of the football has been brisk, compact and imaginative. Next week it's Goldings, who will probably win the league and can be nasty. Last season's closing match saw us deny them the title with a fine 3-0 win, a match which culminated in the near fatal strangulation of Trevor and the nutting of Bill (our ref). An interesting morning following on from Friday's bondage session seems guaranteed.
Oh a forgot "Howay the lads" - latest score Arsenal 0 The Lads 0
ron
Monday 17 September 2007
Monday 10 September 2007
Knobs 2 St Helens 3
They beat us. THEY beat US! I still cannot take it in. The hoofing and booting side, all energy and mouth beat us. Despite loosing the valuable assets of Martin and Richard overnight, we still should be capable of outwitting such a side as theirs! But we didn't. So we go on to the next game v Sandy at home in the league next week, c'est la vie- going on and hopefully upwards toward a threshold of enjoyment that will hold you in good stead for the initial days of the next working week or if retired, like some of us, toward a feeling of relevant contact with a world that has passed us by.
We were 2-0 up thanks to a headed goal from geriatric boy and a knock in from the ubiquitous Matt, following, dare one say it, a footballing move. Nice!
They tried, it was only a matter of time that they would get some joy from their singular tactic of hoying it in the box and let the devil take the hindmost. A soft first goal, a swervy second and then a deserved pressurising third gave them the spoils. We played some reasonable football going forward and were unlucky in chances carved out but it was not to be.
Some pleasant banter and scything fouls spiced the hour mark. Their wee midfielder takes on my mantle with the accolade of "cunt of the week"- so much more sweeter if we'd have won.
Seriously now. Qu'est ce que c'est? From now on, until I'm de-clawed by the committee, this is how we're going to play it. All games allow us to roll on and roll off substitutes, friendlies or league. In the league I will, as usual, try to assemble a squad for the following Sunday which I will make public by Saturday at the latest. On the Sunday I will pick the first 11 to start with others as subs. Unlike friendlies (yes I know they're all supposed to be friendlies) I will only use the subs when considered relevant in proper match conditions. This could mean that some players face the possibility of standing on the line for 90 minutes, like in the old days when yi wer young at heart, fancy free, oozing testosterone and ultimately generally pissed off with a sedentary role. Knaa the feeling. Course yi dae! Subs, though still able to roll on and off, will be used tactically and in the event of injury. We don't just roll up on a Sunday with a divine right to get on at some stage. Is that fair or is it not? If a player, considering this policy, doesn't want to be involved they can drop out for the week. The option is theirs. Every one signed on will get their fair share of games over a season of 34 games anyway. This is my considered view of a fair way to marry fun and serious intent over the next 6 months. Please comment before the committee do!
Thank you Mike for refereeing us yesterday- not always a thankful task. I, myself, will sacrafice myself to this role once again next Sunday, unless diarrhoea, babysitting roles, hangovers or injuries intervene and require me to attempt to participate on the beloved pitch. (Nae better feeling as yer approaching the grave by the way).
Football is fun but there always serious issues to address to ensure fun, and victories, ensue. And, not all of us agree, therein lies the rub!
Black eye giver
We were 2-0 up thanks to a headed goal from geriatric boy and a knock in from the ubiquitous Matt, following, dare one say it, a footballing move. Nice!
They tried, it was only a matter of time that they would get some joy from their singular tactic of hoying it in the box and let the devil take the hindmost. A soft first goal, a swervy second and then a deserved pressurising third gave them the spoils. We played some reasonable football going forward and were unlucky in chances carved out but it was not to be.
Some pleasant banter and scything fouls spiced the hour mark. Their wee midfielder takes on my mantle with the accolade of "cunt of the week"- so much more sweeter if we'd have won.
Seriously now. Qu'est ce que c'est? From now on, until I'm de-clawed by the committee, this is how we're going to play it. All games allow us to roll on and roll off substitutes, friendlies or league. In the league I will, as usual, try to assemble a squad for the following Sunday which I will make public by Saturday at the latest. On the Sunday I will pick the first 11 to start with others as subs. Unlike friendlies (yes I know they're all supposed to be friendlies) I will only use the subs when considered relevant in proper match conditions. This could mean that some players face the possibility of standing on the line for 90 minutes, like in the old days when yi wer young at heart, fancy free, oozing testosterone and ultimately generally pissed off with a sedentary role. Knaa the feeling. Course yi dae! Subs, though still able to roll on and off, will be used tactically and in the event of injury. We don't just roll up on a Sunday with a divine right to get on at some stage. Is that fair or is it not? If a player, considering this policy, doesn't want to be involved they can drop out for the week. The option is theirs. Every one signed on will get their fair share of games over a season of 34 games anyway. This is my considered view of a fair way to marry fun and serious intent over the next 6 months. Please comment before the committee do!
Thank you Mike for refereeing us yesterday- not always a thankful task. I, myself, will sacrafice myself to this role once again next Sunday, unless diarrhoea, babysitting roles, hangovers or injuries intervene and require me to attempt to participate on the beloved pitch. (Nae better feeling as yer approaching the grave by the way).
Football is fun but there always serious issues to address to ensure fun, and victories, ensue. And, not all of us agree, therein lies the rub!
Black eye giver
Tuesday 4 September 2007
Knobs 4 Royston 4
A lucky draw yet should and could have been a massacre in our favour- 4-0 up after a half hour.
Two players failed to show, two players drop out with injuries at last moment, I spend a good hour on Sunday morning trying to find a ref so I could play then at the ground two players turn up unexpectedly, I ref and all ends well- sort of.
Trevor excellent in goal, Steve a good game, some terrific 'clear the lines' hoofs away, midfield purring with Martin, Phil, John Boyle and in the first half Mark Mills and Matt scoring at will up front. Steve' s a lovely player of one touch, up front, but faded when Matt went (to watch friggin Arsenal would yi believe- we could hev done with him in the second half but there'll be plenty second halfs to come)- you need to play it somewhere near him( Steve that is) play to his strengths! Second half our passing became ragged, no use hitting long balls for Steve and Carl. I knew they wouldn't give up, we gave them sniffs (big ones) and they grew in confidence. Fair enough we came back well in the last 15 minutes but it was 4-4 by then. Oh yes Rob, another youth policy addition, came on to contribute well. Note he has an aggressive long throw, something to take more advantage of in future games.
The weather was balmy late summer, no doubt there was some physical suffering in our ranks, but I hope participants enjoyed the run out- not enough in the Station hospitality suite afterwards though, where the sandwiches were again plentiful but fucking freezing.
Matt scored two- first a neat glancing header from a simple passing build up, our first attack, his second robbing their centre half for a pleasant free shot into the corner. A loose ball out to John Boyle who from twenty five, six or seven yards floated it back into their net, our second attack and a nice rifled drive from Phil should have set us on the way to a handsome record victory over a Royston, who have played before, but we let them off the hook!
The match was played in splendid spirit except for that cunt Carlos or Shitlos or Braincellloss or just cunt who seemed to be in sort of disagreement with the honest - give what I see- referee. I did receive apologies and condolences from many of their lads and to be honest I didn't really need them. Yi try yer best and if peeple divvint like it they cin hevva go but fuck em, divvint werry life gans on. The fucker caaled me a cunt 3 times but a didn't hev me dichtionary so a pretended a didnt knaa worree meant. 30 years ago ad a ntted him so a must o grown up a bit- just a bit!
Vets football !
If its worth gettin up on Sunday morning to play at our advanced ages its worth tryin to get things right. Attack breaks down- get back behind the ball divvint rest. Adapt to our ages, none of us can run like we used to - except perhaps Matt- so play to what strengths we have left, in other words pass the ball roughly in the direction of a team mate's feet for the most part. A mean who can really run like a whippet anymore? At the back yi still hev the liberty to just clear yer lines under pressure- and a mean clear yer lines, try a 50 yard hoof then regroup. Vets football is still football, like we played when we were younger- maximise our strengths and minimise our weaknesses- this we will learn as the season progresses and we get to know each other and our foibles that little bit better.
This week , with 32 games left, the league begins, and we are AT HOME to St Helens. We beat them at home last season and then lost to their side, packed as it was with twenty year olds in the return, in a somewhat cantankerous game. We will be at full strength in terms of being vets, so we play with what we are and what we've got. We should win, even if they play bairns wi nappies on but we need to go out and do it. Win and enjoy me bonny lads.
Ron
Two players failed to show, two players drop out with injuries at last moment, I spend a good hour on Sunday morning trying to find a ref so I could play then at the ground two players turn up unexpectedly, I ref and all ends well- sort of.
Trevor excellent in goal, Steve a good game, some terrific 'clear the lines' hoofs away, midfield purring with Martin, Phil, John Boyle and in the first half Mark Mills and Matt scoring at will up front. Steve' s a lovely player of one touch, up front, but faded when Matt went (to watch friggin Arsenal would yi believe- we could hev done with him in the second half but there'll be plenty second halfs to come)- you need to play it somewhere near him( Steve that is) play to his strengths! Second half our passing became ragged, no use hitting long balls for Steve and Carl. I knew they wouldn't give up, we gave them sniffs (big ones) and they grew in confidence. Fair enough we came back well in the last 15 minutes but it was 4-4 by then. Oh yes Rob, another youth policy addition, came on to contribute well. Note he has an aggressive long throw, something to take more advantage of in future games.
The weather was balmy late summer, no doubt there was some physical suffering in our ranks, but I hope participants enjoyed the run out- not enough in the Station hospitality suite afterwards though, where the sandwiches were again plentiful but fucking freezing.
Matt scored two- first a neat glancing header from a simple passing build up, our first attack, his second robbing their centre half for a pleasant free shot into the corner. A loose ball out to John Boyle who from twenty five, six or seven yards floated it back into their net, our second attack and a nice rifled drive from Phil should have set us on the way to a handsome record victory over a Royston, who have played before, but we let them off the hook!
The match was played in splendid spirit except for that cunt Carlos or Shitlos or Braincellloss or just cunt who seemed to be in sort of disagreement with the honest - give what I see- referee. I did receive apologies and condolences from many of their lads and to be honest I didn't really need them. Yi try yer best and if peeple divvint like it they cin hevva go but fuck em, divvint werry life gans on. The fucker caaled me a cunt 3 times but a didn't hev me dichtionary so a pretended a didnt knaa worree meant. 30 years ago ad a ntted him so a must o grown up a bit- just a bit!
Vets football !
If its worth gettin up on Sunday morning to play at our advanced ages its worth tryin to get things right. Attack breaks down- get back behind the ball divvint rest. Adapt to our ages, none of us can run like we used to - except perhaps Matt- so play to what strengths we have left, in other words pass the ball roughly in the direction of a team mate's feet for the most part. A mean who can really run like a whippet anymore? At the back yi still hev the liberty to just clear yer lines under pressure- and a mean clear yer lines, try a 50 yard hoof then regroup. Vets football is still football, like we played when we were younger- maximise our strengths and minimise our weaknesses- this we will learn as the season progresses and we get to know each other and our foibles that little bit better.
This week , with 32 games left, the league begins, and we are AT HOME to St Helens. We beat them at home last season and then lost to their side, packed as it was with twenty year olds in the return, in a somewhat cantankerous game. We will be at full strength in terms of being vets, so we play with what we are and what we've got. We should win, even if they play bairns wi nappies on but we need to go out and do it. Win and enjoy me bonny lads.
Ron
Wednesday 29 August 2007
sunday august 26 Knobs 4 Walkern 1
Howay the lads.
A new season brought with it a slaughtering of ageing Walkern. Their eleven, smoking progidiously before the game, at half time and at the final whistle proved no match for our fifteen. Notable in the cast of newcomers were Roy, Phil and Matt (the scorer of a hattrick ?) with a number of others contributing. Old timers like Chris G, Brendan and Trevor played well also. Young timers like Chris W also played well and he scored t'other goal. The tribulations betwixt wor Dave and their winger resulted in his being withdrawn from their side and booted out of their team permanently. A salient warning as to the hazards of growing old disgracefully.
We have 32 active players signed up this season so giving everyone a game in a fair way and at the same time being as competitive as possible presents a conundrum- where's me pin?
Next week we're at home to Royston followed by young boys of St Helens in the league.
I won't go on since I divvint knaa if this new system works. See yiz aal aroond.
Charber
A new season brought with it a slaughtering of ageing Walkern. Their eleven, smoking progidiously before the game, at half time and at the final whistle proved no match for our fifteen. Notable in the cast of newcomers were Roy, Phil and Matt (the scorer of a hattrick ?) with a number of others contributing. Old timers like Chris G, Brendan and Trevor played well also. Young timers like Chris W also played well and he scored t'other goal. The tribulations betwixt wor Dave and their winger resulted in his being withdrawn from their side and booted out of their team permanently. A salient warning as to the hazards of growing old disgracefully.
We have 32 active players signed up this season so giving everyone a game in a fair way and at the same time being as competitive as possible presents a conundrum- where's me pin?
Next week we're at home to Royston followed by young boys of St Helens in the league.
I won't go on since I divvint knaa if this new system works. See yiz aal aroond.
Charber
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)