An afternoon game on a mudheap which steadily became unplayable. A fair result after we were 2-0 up midway through the second half. Nice of Mark to turn up knackered after playing 90 minutes in the morning for Ashwell. I wonder how they got on, Mark couldn't have scored. he would have said so. Still he made a good linesman except, some would say, for overturning the ref's decision of a throw for us from which they broke away and scored!
Anyway chance for the old boy to have 90 minutes., which I enjoyed. Yooz made an ould man very happy- till I got yem it lasted! We started slowly, they hit the bar, then slowly we came to terms with the slurry and created our own chances, one of which was saved point blank range by a very competent keeper from Matt.
First Dave moment had come in the dressing room before the start. Dave recounted his car write off moment when he had shunted up someone's arse at a roundabout. Nothing new there then Dave likes to get tight from behind. (Steve had bashed his car this morning- it was the ice- I know better). Second Dave moment came when he committed an innocuous foul 9rightly given) after which their man chased after him and kicked him from behind. Considering cards had already been brandished I felt a little bit of inconsistency had crept in! The third Dave moment came just before halftime from a corner with Dave clashing heads with their man Tom. Dave emerged cut and Tom bumped. Dave went off and missed a sweet move whuich led to our opener. Ron with space on the edge of the area responded to Phil's INTELLIGENT call and squared to him. His rasping shot put us one up. Dave, the rivers of blood having been staunched- fuck off it were only a scratch- rejoined the fray for the second half.
The second half saw the crowd swell to double figures as both sides swam for their lives. Our second came from a smothered handball in the six yard box. Steve's penalty was well saved but the ball stuck on the goalline and Steve pounced to crash home from an inch. Noone was gonna get in his way for that one. They equalised from a break, thanks Mark! Actually he was right it was their throw but hey don't let him off. Their equaliser from a penalty was dubious if not to say wrong. 'Honest' Chris never touched their surging runner as he collapsed in exhaustion in the area. The referee's retort well I've given you a penalty. So it does work like that. Both sides scrapped to the end with Wilbury territorially on top. Scrapping literally. Their 'hothead' became embroiled with Steve. A tackle, a bit of afters then a flicked mudpie in the face led to a Bull's rage. After throats had been grabbed and pleasantries exchanged the referee enforced a 10 minute sinbin for both players. Steve's ultimate sin being swearing in front of children. I didn't mind, I don't know about the others. Anyway I've often warned Steve about such language! Tee hee! With 15 minutes to go Steve never got back on cos he still had 4 minutes to serve.
15-10= minus 4. Teaching these days. Well done to the young referee he has a long and far from tranquil journey ahead in his chosen hobby.
We adjourned to a quaint old fashioned boozer in Baldock called The Engine. Drink and food were plentiful. They still have large notices displayed about the possession of illegal substances, I suppose they mean tabs and brains.
Toodle pip.
Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack
Monday 22 February 2010
Monday 15 February 2010
Ware 2 Knobs 1
Very, very unlucky but there goeth the league- probably.
We were there for the kick off but they drifted in well after ko time. Then there was the delay for their new kit to arrive from the factory. Their bloke reffed to some effect. He was friggin hopeless, overruling his only linesman, me, a fellow Goerdie at that and then turning down a penalty when Gavin, haring for goal, was assassinated from behind. Gavin didn't even have time to dive, hitting the ground chin first. All their players we spoke to said it was a penalty. What can you do but battle on. After 10 minutes or so I came into the game as linesman for the one and only time. The 'ref' came over and asked me how long had gone. It wasn't that his watch had stopped but that he didn't have a watch! This was a first in football for me. A delay followed until a mobile phone was borrowed!
They hit the bar with a chip and the post with the follow up. Their only chance of the first half and most of the second. We got a game together and were very solid at the back and inventive going forward. Alas, chances were frequently missed.
Second half saw a bit more possession for them but we still carved out chances but were denied by unconvincing shooting and bad luck.
Late in the game Gavin hurtled in from the right and ended a move which had commenced from the hardworking Dave. His low raking sidefoot sweetly found the net.
The influential Chris G went off with a hamstring pull .
They equalised from a woeful passage of play. A corner to far post was headed in by a totally unmarked player. Noone near him, so easy.
They got the winner when Ron got caught out in midfield caught in two minds or was that three. They strode forward to lash in a winner. Sorry chaps and I was only on for five minutes. Perhaps we should have been out of sight by then.
Grub in pub and a few pints then yem.
The chastened one
Next week away, 1pm kick off, in Letchworth against Wibury Wanderers who luckily beat us
2-1 before Christmas.
We were there for the kick off but they drifted in well after ko time. Then there was the delay for their new kit to arrive from the factory. Their bloke reffed to some effect. He was friggin hopeless, overruling his only linesman, me, a fellow Goerdie at that and then turning down a penalty when Gavin, haring for goal, was assassinated from behind. Gavin didn't even have time to dive, hitting the ground chin first. All their players we spoke to said it was a penalty. What can you do but battle on. After 10 minutes or so I came into the game as linesman for the one and only time. The 'ref' came over and asked me how long had gone. It wasn't that his watch had stopped but that he didn't have a watch! This was a first in football for me. A delay followed until a mobile phone was borrowed!
They hit the bar with a chip and the post with the follow up. Their only chance of the first half and most of the second. We got a game together and were very solid at the back and inventive going forward. Alas, chances were frequently missed.
Second half saw a bit more possession for them but we still carved out chances but were denied by unconvincing shooting and bad luck.
Late in the game Gavin hurtled in from the right and ended a move which had commenced from the hardworking Dave. His low raking sidefoot sweetly found the net.
The influential Chris G went off with a hamstring pull .
They equalised from a woeful passage of play. A corner to far post was headed in by a totally unmarked player. Noone near him, so easy.
They got the winner when Ron got caught out in midfield caught in two minds or was that three. They strode forward to lash in a winner. Sorry chaps and I was only on for five minutes. Perhaps we should have been out of sight by then.
Grub in pub and a few pints then yem.
The chastened one
Next week away, 1pm kick off, in Letchworth against Wibury Wanderers who luckily beat us
2-1 before Christmas.
Tuesday 9 February 2010
Saints 2 KNOBS 2 - match report by Gavin
‘Should have won’ said Dave, ‘I can’t believe we lost’ thought Chris G but most of were happy that we sneaked a draw in a rather feisty encounter on a cold Sunday morning in St. Albans. After a late withdrawal from Matt, the big decision for stand-in manager Chairman Al was, who should play up front with the people’s champion Dave ‘shimmy, shimmy’ Jordan? Who knows what happened on Friday night but Ron’s team sheet never lies and it was true, Dave was about to have his moment in the sun.
On arriving, confusion over strips meant that we had to wear bibs. Bully wasn’t happy. Not only would the talent scouts not be able to see the Number 4 on his back, Mr Groundsman clearly looked at him when stating that some players might struggle to fit into them. At this point it might be worth noting that if there is an epidemic of young girls collapsing in the changing areas at St. Albans School, the finger should clearly point towards Twiggy and his early morning movements. Strewth!
As for the game? Well…we started off well but after a poor decision by the ref, we soon found ourselves a goal down. John Boyle tracking back, tackled their left midfielder but the ref deemed it a foul. Was this a sign to come? From the free-kick, the Saints took the lead…can’t remember how but it was annoying. We soon stormed back into the game. A marvellous run from Richard (he informs me, he ran from well inside our half, beating 13 players along the way) saw him get to the by-line where he promptly squared it. Our own little ‘fox in the box’ John Boyle tucked it home with aplomb. Where was Dave when this happened? Taking defenders away apparently. He was the pivot point in our well-oiled machine! Soon we were getting to grips with the game, creating a few chances and putting pressure on from corners. Chris Wilson worked tirelessly in the middle and had a great game. It wasn’t long before we took the lead. A nifty turn from Gavin, saw a cheeky nutmeg and then a dive and then the cry – ‘penalty!’ – up stepped Bully to whack it home with his usual efficiency. 2-1. We breezed through the rest of the half with some nice attacking play and some stout defending, with Roy causing complaints, which always warms the cockles of his fellow team mates hearts. Changes were made at half-term. Brendan and Twiggy coming on and Alistair and Gavin going off…these were the start of the rolling substitutions. Did this upset our rhythm or did the Saints just play better in the second half? Probably the latter. It was a siege of corners and crosses fired into the box. Trevor held out superbly, with one fine save coming from a one-on-one opportunity. Finally they broke through from a free-kick that rebounded off Trevor’s chest into the path of their own ‘fox in the box’ who tucked it away quite nicely. 2-2 and that was the way the match would end. We only had two chances in the second half, John blasting over after some good work down the right and Phil had a free-kick hit into a wall. We were living off scraps up front. Poor old Dave – this was to be his moment but alas it turned out he was ‘limited’. They should have won really – Twiggy gave away a clear penalty (although Roy said it wasn’t a foul – the bloke could still stand up!) but their ref decided it was just on the edge of the box. Thank goodness for that.
Food was nice – overcooked pasta and Bolognese. Good turnout and it was interesting to see that Chris W. has a greater presence on the pitch than he does at the bar. Onto Ware – Where? WARE!!! Oh…forget it.
On arriving, confusion over strips meant that we had to wear bibs. Bully wasn’t happy. Not only would the talent scouts not be able to see the Number 4 on his back, Mr Groundsman clearly looked at him when stating that some players might struggle to fit into them. At this point it might be worth noting that if there is an epidemic of young girls collapsing in the changing areas at St. Albans School, the finger should clearly point towards Twiggy and his early morning movements. Strewth!
As for the game? Well…we started off well but after a poor decision by the ref, we soon found ourselves a goal down. John Boyle tracking back, tackled their left midfielder but the ref deemed it a foul. Was this a sign to come? From the free-kick, the Saints took the lead…can’t remember how but it was annoying. We soon stormed back into the game. A marvellous run from Richard (he informs me, he ran from well inside our half, beating 13 players along the way) saw him get to the by-line where he promptly squared it. Our own little ‘fox in the box’ John Boyle tucked it home with aplomb. Where was Dave when this happened? Taking defenders away apparently. He was the pivot point in our well-oiled machine! Soon we were getting to grips with the game, creating a few chances and putting pressure on from corners. Chris Wilson worked tirelessly in the middle and had a great game. It wasn’t long before we took the lead. A nifty turn from Gavin, saw a cheeky nutmeg and then a dive and then the cry – ‘penalty!’ – up stepped Bully to whack it home with his usual efficiency. 2-1. We breezed through the rest of the half with some nice attacking play and some stout defending, with Roy causing complaints, which always warms the cockles of his fellow team mates hearts. Changes were made at half-term. Brendan and Twiggy coming on and Alistair and Gavin going off…these were the start of the rolling substitutions. Did this upset our rhythm or did the Saints just play better in the second half? Probably the latter. It was a siege of corners and crosses fired into the box. Trevor held out superbly, with one fine save coming from a one-on-one opportunity. Finally they broke through from a free-kick that rebounded off Trevor’s chest into the path of their own ‘fox in the box’ who tucked it away quite nicely. 2-2 and that was the way the match would end. We only had two chances in the second half, John blasting over after some good work down the right and Phil had a free-kick hit into a wall. We were living off scraps up front. Poor old Dave – this was to be his moment but alas it turned out he was ‘limited’. They should have won really – Twiggy gave away a clear penalty (although Roy said it wasn’t a foul – the bloke could still stand up!) but their ref decided it was just on the edge of the box. Thank goodness for that.
Food was nice – overcooked pasta and Bolognese. Good turnout and it was interesting to see that Chris W. has a greater presence on the pitch than he does at the bar. Onto Ware – Where? WARE!!! Oh…forget it.
Monday 1 February 2010
MBDA 1 Knobs 1
A frosty morning, an unplayable pitch and Andy Murray getting hammered on TV what more could you want? Will it be 150,000 years before Knobs win again, possibly, before Newcastle win anything again, probably.
Withdrawals of Phil and Darren and crosswires with Roy ( I wouldn't cross anything with Roy)
led to us playing with the bare eleven and me as a grumpy sub. As I say we had the bare eleven.
The pitch was a huge leveller and though we made far more chances, they only threatened from corners or freekicks that Dave concedes to keep us on our toes, unfortunately we missed more chances, far more!
They foraged well but how that bloke avoided the own goal with his swipe that miraculously hit the post..... We scored midway through the second half from a neat move which saw another Gavin square ball lashed high into the net by Matt.
With 20 minutes to go Ron replaced the wounded elk that is Steve and promptly missed a glorious chance from a sweeping move- it were the pitch I got there too early! From another inexplicable miss they booted clear and one of their better players shot home from an angle, the ball bobbling from an iceberg and going over Trevor's outstretched arm. We threatened again but I think the pitch won.
A first for the club, Alistair refusing to play second half with a trainer clad Brendan because he kept slipping and miskicking. Remedy? Brendan changed his footwear. Not for him the retort of kettles calling the pot black or fuck off you cunt- Nancy's traditional greeting to Chris Wil;son.
Dave played well- fouls a lot. Chris G played well, never ever fouls intentionally!
The Mallard was well attended by us not so by them. We slagged off those who weren't there, what a mirthful hour. There was "food".
Dave fouls a lot but rarely in the pub except on special diet.
Friday is my investiture night apparently in the Station I will arrive suitably attired.
Oh yes signed Dick!
PS who wishes to manage next season- must be a Knebworth resident, have broad shoulders and a thick skin, have an innate sense of humour not a tansplant and be able to tyyppefjt.... My vote is for John Boyle that indefatigable worker vbehind the scenes. No fans of clubs outside the Premiership need apply.
Withdrawals of Phil and Darren and crosswires with Roy ( I wouldn't cross anything with Roy)
led to us playing with the bare eleven and me as a grumpy sub. As I say we had the bare eleven.
The pitch was a huge leveller and though we made far more chances, they only threatened from corners or freekicks that Dave concedes to keep us on our toes, unfortunately we missed more chances, far more!
They foraged well but how that bloke avoided the own goal with his swipe that miraculously hit the post..... We scored midway through the second half from a neat move which saw another Gavin square ball lashed high into the net by Matt.
With 20 minutes to go Ron replaced the wounded elk that is Steve and promptly missed a glorious chance from a sweeping move- it were the pitch I got there too early! From another inexplicable miss they booted clear and one of their better players shot home from an angle, the ball bobbling from an iceberg and going over Trevor's outstretched arm. We threatened again but I think the pitch won.
A first for the club, Alistair refusing to play second half with a trainer clad Brendan because he kept slipping and miskicking. Remedy? Brendan changed his footwear. Not for him the retort of kettles calling the pot black or fuck off you cunt- Nancy's traditional greeting to Chris Wil;son.
Dave played well- fouls a lot. Chris G played well, never ever fouls intentionally!
The Mallard was well attended by us not so by them. We slagged off those who weren't there, what a mirthful hour. There was "food".
Dave fouls a lot but rarely in the pub except on special diet.
Friday is my investiture night apparently in the Station I will arrive suitably attired.
Oh yes signed Dick!
PS who wishes to manage next season- must be a Knebworth resident, have broad shoulders and a thick skin, have an innate sense of humour not a tansplant and be able to tyyppefjt.... My vote is for John Boyle that indefatigable worker vbehind the scenes. No fans of clubs outside the Premiership need apply.
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