Knobs 1 Steve's birthday boys 3

Everyone a winner!
The pre match mind games and subterfuge were not influential. A fair, strongly competed match ensued. Weather of sleet at first, then sun, then cloud so that was all nice. Trevor returned to the Knobs goal and the Knobs had 15 available including Gavin who turned up for the second half and Steve had 13.
Knobs were in the tight, black kit and the Bullsmen wore the yellow- a distinct advantage for the latter.
Knobs defended the bottom goal first half or should have. A very poor showing in which we seemed lethargic, stiff and to be honest, past it. An early incident saw Dave tackle Steve leaving the latter limping but far from subdued. Dave unfortunately suffered the worst coming off with his knee in tatters. He's out until after Christmas. Christmas 2013.
Steve then enjoyed probably his best game of the season assisted probably, no undoubtedly, by our dearth of midfield presence. How many times did Chris Wilson (strong game) find himself up against four men in the first half? Often we paraded, two advanced players, yawning gap, Chris, then another yawning gap before encountering our very deep defensive back four. Far far too stretched when kicking uphill against a fairly energetic side with individuals who could play a bit.
They scored with annoying regularity. I remember little of the goals, though Brendan was blamed for all three. He actually smilingly acknowledged his contributions. But he paid his dues as well as his penance by attending both venues for Steve's post match celebrations and taxiing people to and from Rileys. Good lad. Half time 3-0 to Steve.
Second half shaded by Knobs but we only clawed back the one goal , a fine deep cross by Paul Crosby emphatically placed in the net by John B's head. Andy did hit a post late on but there were no sitters missed as in our past two games since we hardly created any clear cut chances. But the endeavour was good to see and the first half rot was stopped. On such a day as this a brisk, warm up should be the order of the day so that individuals start with some degree of fluidity.
Nice to see Phil Wells turn out, please come again. Everyone was highly pleased that Tony failed to capitalise on a defensive error when through one on one with the keeper. Phew!
Hope Alistair's head is better after his battering by rough boy Trevor.
Thanks to MBDA's Les for reffing the game.
The showers were broken hence freezing. Paul Crosby became the only clean Knob but Bill and John sneaked home to clean up. Why?
The Station was packed to the rafters. It was like being back at school, never seen as many kids.
Steve friends were well represented and most of the Knobs side turned up. A merry scene ensued before the food arrived - lovely!!!!!!
It was then off to Rileys to see Arsenal lose to Man City but mainly to continue drinking the drink at Steve's expense. A couple of us threw in the towel at seven so I cannot say what happened later.
Finally all our thoughts were with Chris Cox yesterday in the wake of the very sad event in his life last weeek. We wish him all the best and obviously anything we can do to help we will be here for him.
COCK!?

Knobs 0 Ashwell 1

Middlin ti poor! Afew things amiss like the balls being left in Dave's house, Dave taking to the game without gloves (in the changing room), and balls semi inflated but fun can be squeezed from the most inauspicious circumstances. Who was that wanking behind Mark's tree? Cheek!
Three games now without notching. Yet the chances in this game and the last one have been so numerous. Therefore all is not up shite's creek without a paddle. We made lots of chances and chances accidentally fell into our path yet not once did the net bulge. There were some sitters- OK the goalie did well and blocked a few but the rest..... One day soon someone will take a hammering. I've heard Mike Lisle's coming back, quake ye mortals!
A cold morning 11 a side due to us donating the returning, mighty Mark Mills who gave a good account of himself- and providing the high moment of mirth of the first half with his spat with honest Alistair. There's Thursday night history to this tussle (a verbal one). Was it a corner, the ref (me) didn't give it and Mark and Alistair set about appealing to each others honesty. Words such as "cheat" and "bounder" turned the Knebworth air pink if not blue. A change from Tony's self deprecating "cunt!!!" every time that naughty ball deigned to ignore his commands. I'm sure the full back (the one resplendent in Norah Batty headscarf) spent the first half believing the words were aimed at him. "Stop him swearing referee", he bleated. Who's brought a sheep to the game? But by the end he had picked up a few pointers and was "bloody helling" with the best of them.
They had some youth and verve which we did well to deal with. Their commitment was honest and lasting though they did not threaten our goal very much at all, except for the goal they scored midway through the first half. Their forward tightly marked by the over breathing Brendan, turned and shot home nicely into a corner. Goalie little or no chance even if it was a birrovabobblyslowin, so don't worry Dave.
Our injured and back from injured players held up well. Darren A had a very good game as did Chris W. Matty looked much more committed, involved and sharper than he did the previous game and if he keeps up regular playing the goals will come. Steve B is still nursing that hamstring which he aggravated in one of his trade mark tackles, you know the one. But he'll be there next week, wallet in jock strap. Weather forecast seems stormy but we will all be there.
Dave came out second half (of goal that is) to be replaced by Alistair (second half clean sheet/ nothing to do mind). Dave is quite fit at the moment thus allowing him to motor round the pitch fouling people in all sorts of positions in both a footballing and an anatomical way- no anal penetration as yet but Tony is quivering in either anticipation or is it trepidation of next week's confrontation.
Come and see! Dave now known to his mates as "Don't foul". He has promised to change his ways and will be foregoing drink and fouling for New Year- 2025.
Brendan missed another header- he must stop going up for corners, he's becoming a very naughty boy.
A free kick from 25.5 yards by Steve, 39 years and 360 days at the time of writing, Bull was tipped onto the crossbar and came out into play. For all our attacks and corners nothing seemed to drop for us. Unlucky.
The crowd , John Boyle, was interviewed at half time. "What do you think John?"
"I'm fucking freezing". Interviewed at full time- he stayed the course though had to be unglued from the railing, John was of the opinion that.......... then he went. I think he was fucking freezing. Give my love to the boys he signed and was away.
Poor turn out in the Station, seven of us and NONE of them. Pretty poor show Ashwell.
NEXT WEEK:
Steve will be bringing his All Stars (drinkers) to play a Knobs cobbled together from the lame and the desperate. KICK OFF 11.30 am.
Afterwards it's the Station for garlic bread, fried bread, all sorts of bread and onion rings before heading to Rileys (Arsenal game) where the real action begins. Even if you don't intend to play come along and join in the merriment.

Sandridge 4 knobs 0

Poor result. We looked as if we'd never played together before, someone said, truth was we hadn't. Injury list is getting longer and with the allure of Christmas and the onset of winter personnel is getting thin on the ground if not in the gut. Mind the 18th could resuscitate enthusiasm, Steve's almost fit. (Steve was the attendance).
The bare 11 became 12 sometime in the middle of the first half when a lad called Tony/Andy (friend of Steve and Tony) donned the yellow and was to come on second half with some verve. With Craig on the right and the energetic Ali in the middle and Matty back home up front it was a bit of a change from last week and it all showed. Kicking uphill in the first half we did farely well in turning round only 1-0 down having actually had a sitter missed ourselves by.. no I can't name him- 9 out of 10 I'm sure he'd have scored.
We should have persevered with the same set up in the second half but Dave after a very competent first half in goal when he produced two blinding, proper goalkeeping saves decided to come out and was replaced in goal by John Twigg. John was in no way culpable for the three goals which followed in the second half but we lost our shape and positioning a bit second half, then as we fell further behind we lost our shape a big bit! We also lost any inclination in believing there was any need to play together and pass to each other- but hey it was a cold Sunday morning, we're all human and egos run contra to teamwork most our lives.
Their first goal was a diagonal free kick fizzed across goal right to left -definitely going out those in the vicinity thought, till it was hooked back in and into the net via a ricochet off Dave. Guilt of not playing till the ball's out anyone?
The second goal a centre from the right, led to a shove by Tony led to a penalty. This was inexplicable to some. I thought it was as obvious as it was soft but Tony is adamant that he just stood his ground with no intent. Did the bloke dive? Can we see the replay?
The third and fourth followed, one of them a deep cross from the right to the far post emphatically headed home, the only decent goal.
Our chances? Legion! Second half we missed for fun. Over elaborated in the penalty area, rustiness, crap finishing the combination.
Tactically.
You might notice I have emphasised three of the goals coming from the right, well forget the free kick one which we lost out on at our far post. But their strength was to knock the ball wide to a portly chap who hardly strayed from the touchline before receiving, steadying himself and delivering. Three ways of combatting that.
Stop the initial supply or discouraging it by having another portly chap standing reasonably close to him. Pressing the move when it developed - he gets the ball and often has his full back pressing to support, making it 2 against 1 and somewhat hard, so if the wide man presses the ball someone also has to join in to help him from being played around, OR let the fuckers have it wide, we haven't the numbers or energy to press, so we cut our losses narrow our defence and numerically superior defend the resulting cross. We were caught between all those options, but we never talk about them and certainly we don't work it out during the course of the game.
I was that man wide!
Chris W played well as did Tony or was it Andy who came on. The new Ali shone but did not win the game for us single handedly which his style of play was seemingly geared to. Harsh? Fuck off I've been there. Dave played well and in the second half played every location in the pitch, they seek him here.... trying to set a record of fouling every member of the opposition on the pitch, but he enjoyed himself. Brendan the super skull missed a sitter in front of posts. Tony went off injured, the curse of the pull. I don't think Chris Cox was feeling well and and and, next week Ashwell at home, who is going to mark Mark Mills?
They were an honest hard working bunch, crap dressing rooms, good bar. fair turn out hope Vinnie didn't get into bother!
Love yaz.

Knobs 0 Blunham 0

A true vets football match, hard fought, end to end, if a bit slowly and played in good spirits. A draw was a very fair result. Well done both sides.
Would Bully last as he battled to take the field hamstrung but committed? No he wouldn't. Thirty seconds in, even his unquenchable spirit for the fray was extinguished has he hobbled off. His vision must now be firmly on December 18th and we all most hope he makes it or we'll probably be reduced to Christmas shopping that day.
Chris W moved into midfield, Brendan moved to centre half and Bill came on at fullback. A competitive game ensued with not many clearcut chances. Tackles, endeavour, chasing back and encouraging each other were the key elements of an enjoyable occasion rather than any eye catching purist football.
We seemed to be getting a bit of distance on our goal kicks and clearances and much of the contest was fought out in midfield with little in the way of goalmouth skirmishes.
Dave was very competent in goal and stayed there till he swapped with a hamstrung Bill late in the game. Phil added to the hamstrung leading some in the crowd to question our warm up regime. A valid point? Probably, but at least we don't hang round smoking before kick off so we're doing something right there.
Half time Gary went off with a dead leg to be replaced by an energetic and contributing Gerry.
One moment of controversy in second half saw their forward reaching the ball as Dave advanced, they clashed and a goal kick ensued. They were not well pleased to be denied a penalty but took the decision well. I thought it was a fair challenge and more relevantly so did referee Alistair.
Vinnie had a couple of snapshots just wide from cutbacks from Gary and Andy and Dave saved a raking missile, straight at him but in danger of going through him and that was that.
Mentions of Chris G, his best game of the season, ran himself into the ground. Brendan very good, some winning tackles and headers combined with a safety first, get rid mentality. Tony competitive and effective at right back but immense performances from Chrises W and C in centre midfield really took the eye.
Every one contributed.
A good turn out in the pub where both teams sat in close proximity to one another, says it all.
Sad news absorbed mind making each one of us think a bit.
Next week it's newly promoted Sandridge Rovers away.

Knobs 0 Blunham (aka Sandy) 0

More tomorrow- today Gary Speed inexplicably decided to die- perspective eh?

Knobs 3 MBDA 6 - report by Gavin Simpson

Well…to be honest, I didn’t see much of it. I’m only writing this because Ron’s got to go up North and John said I should. He was my eyes and ears though. The roving reporter on the side line whilst I was busy picking up bargains at the Co-Op. Got some lovely cream cakes reduced to 89p – they were lovely with a cup of tea. And then I picked up a Nerf gun for just £3 in the charity shop - shhhhh…don’t tell anyone. It’s a Christmas present. Who would have thought that the charity shop would be open on a Sunday? Madness indeed but the new window display for Christmas looks ace.

Anyway, the bit I did see was very interesting. MBDA certainly looked a fitter unit and played with a confidence of league leaders. Our passing play seemed very narrow. Despite the now customary 4-5-1 formation there was little width. It’s certainly important that the centre-forward moves into that space and therefore opens up gaps for the centre-midfielders breaking from the middle. And when they had the ball, despite our 3 in the middle, there seemed to be plenty of gaps there. Despite fitness concerns, Vinnie looked strong and competitive but the game reminded me a bit of the book I’m reading at the moment – H.G. Wells’ ‘The Invisible Man’ – it certainly seems that with the KNOBS, a few players go missing when we start staring defeat in the face. I speak with a plank in my eye. The most amazing thing that was witnessed was Dave giving up as their winger sprinted past him. That’s not like our Dave – maybe the criticism has got to him or the pressure of being the manager or maybe he just had one beer too many the night before? Whatever the answer, it was unusual and just goes to show how we can all do with a bit of praise and encouragement to keep ourselves motivated throughout. You could see that when Andy netted his second goal. The spring in his step afterwards was a joy to behold and not like anything witnessed beforehand. It goes to show how a crunching tackle, a surging run, a beautiful pass, a great interception, relentless pressing, a well-timed clearance, can create a mood within a team that can lead to positive outcomes. And if we can all tell each other when we’ve done something like that, it spurs the spirit. However at 5-2 down it wasn’t to be. In fact that they looked like they were coasting and creating chances at will. Their headed goal from a corner (their 6th) showed how easy it was. We can do better and we must do better.

But what do I know? I hardly saw any of it. I left when Ron sent off one of their players for foul language. And rightly so! Thank goodness it wasn’t a KNOB. I hope it all ended happily. John told me that Vinnie scored a great goal and that Andy had one disallowed that was slightly controversial. That would have made it 3-3. He obviously scored the first one. Anyone know why two goals is called a ‘brace’? But you can’t win games when you let in 6 can you? We’ve found that out already this season. Onwards and upwards though. Blunham Vets next week and with our on-going injury crisis (I saw Bully limp off – rare indeed he admits defeat to injury), it could be a long winter. Still, Simmons is open now on a Sunday. Nothing reduced but they do have some lovely cakes in there. Now where is that vanilla slice? Ahh…

Old Elizabethans 2 Knobs 1 - report by Gavin Simpson

So…our one game winning streak comes to an end. On a beautiful Sunday morning/afternoon, the team travelled in good heart to Barnet with a couple of new players in tow – Chris’ boyhood chum Ali and Bully’s mate Des. Arriving early, we watched the warm-up game (before the main attraction) and then after a minute’s silence, the game started after Chris G won the toss and elected to swap ends. We are still waiting for the justification for that decision but I’m sure there was one.

The formation for the first half was our 4-1-4-1 – Dave in goal, Kenny, Chris G, Brendan and Twiggy the back four. Bully as the holding midfielder. Richard, Ali, Chris C and Runar were the midfield and Gavin was up-top. Within 10 minutes, any plans Dave had for the next 80 had gone AWOL as injuries led to the departure of Richard and Gavin. Possible long-term injuries. Is there an injury crisis at the club? Who’s in charge of warm-ups and warm-downs? By that stage though we were 1-0 up thanks to an own goal by their centre-back. For the rest of the half, they had the better of the play. Despite some lovely triangles between Ali, Chris W and Bully, there was a lack of penetration up front. It is of no surprise though. One of the main issues of the 4-1-4-1 system is the distance between the midfield and the forward. Against a good team (which Old Elizabethans were) we tend to get deeper and deeper and that makes the gap bigger and bigger. In the second half that was remedied a wee bit due to Dave pushing up more and Bully staying more advanced. At the end of the first half, we let in a goal. It came from a free-kick and as Dave said himself ‘…it had to be a good kick to beat him’ and it was…sort of. Well…he hit it into the corner but from a positional point of view Dave will be disappointed. No clean sheet this week.

In the second half, Des moved to right back, Brendan went in goal and Kenny went into the centre. Ali was pushed forward and Dave came into the middle of the park. It’s fair to say that we had our chances in that half. You could argue that maybe we should have had a penalty but it would have been harsh. From my reckoning, Twiggy missed a good opportunity from a corner, Dave missed one when he was through on goal, Ali missed with a deft chip but the major miss (although I hope we have a ‘no blame culture’ at the club) was from Runar who missed a header from six yards after a lovely ball from Dave. Runar also had another potential chance when there was a mix-up in their penalty area but alas, it was not to be. And to be honest, they missed a sitter also, after (a very tired) Brendan had palmed a cross/shot into the path of their forward who decided to knock it wide. The winning goal came from an in-swinging corner that went in after skimming the head of Twiggy. Oh well. Other than that, there was the normal scrap from Dave (who was remembered from last time apparently…I think that man is getting a reputation!), another thunderous defence header from Runar that went 50-odd yards and Kenny being ‘mugged’ on the halfway. An honourable mention should also go to the little lad who ran the line in the second-half. He made some good decisions.

Overall, it was an enjoyable, competitive game. Either team could have won it, neither deserved to. Ali can come again…a very good compact player. Des as well actually. From the Manager’s point of view, he felt we lacked a bit of intensity today and that might be true but we had our chances. Afterwards in the clubhouse, we were served pizza, chips, potatoes and chicken. Very nice indeed but it would be lovely to see a bit of green one of these days. We’re professional athletes you know.

MBDA next week. Big game. They are flying in the league and we’re on our way up. Late fitness tests all round but hopefully we’ll have a strong team to put out. And next week…no swearing please…we’ve got to make friends with the neighbourhood again!!!

Knobs 2 Ware Strollers 0

League win.
A comfortable victory with some nice passing moves. We passed it rather like this last week, but things fizzled out by the half way line. This week with Gavin spearheading in the first half and Andy in the second we had a potential threat every time we went forward. With the energy and ability of John and Runni as wide midfielders and the tenacity of Chris C and Chris W central midfield, the platform for Steve's passing range was solid. Well played.
Some slackness at the back could have proved costly very early on, unecessarily running the ball out of defence and being robbed, but Dave, in goal first half, dived low to parry a shot away with them fluffing the resulting sitter. Their little centre forward was dangerous in the first half when playing high up against Ali and Tony but he was handled fairly well. In the second half he was reduced to going far too deep for the ball, had noone to lay it off to and was snuffed out.
We had several chances notably to Chris Cox who was somehow denied. Gavin made several scintillating runs and some telling track backs, which always helps the cause. Richard was back from injury and after an over adventurous start at right back, settled nicely into the passing game being employed by the team. Bill was solid as a rock at left back and showed excellent choices in when to pass it out and when to hoof it clear. His passes out to the left midfield to get us going forward are what we've been crying out for. Others please note.
Two incidents in the first half. Was John fouled on the right, I thought he was inadvertently caught as the man sneakily crept round him to play the ball- a new survey should sort that out. John was not best pleased but recovered his bonhomie and vivacity by the time he was limping to the pub (from a knee injury, the limp not the disputed foul).
A corner started the love-in between Dave and their lanky centre half, the latter displaying a distinct lack of originality by baring his unattractive arse to Dave. No doubt the groups of the public including a host of kids were distinctly unimpressed by this fragrant or should that be flagrant outing of an ugly piece of anatomy. We proceeded to half time one up. I remember it was a good move but remember little of the detail nor indeed the scorer, what's wrong? Surely Gavin scored. Help! Oh no it was Vinnie, subbing for injured Alistair. Vinnie was already showing flair for getting forward when the ball was passed toward him and he promptly flighted in from distance. Phew, memory cells functioning again, just! They came close to equalising with a thunderous shot that hit the post, then Dave, before going for a corner.
Gavin replaced Dave in goal at half time and Andy came on up front, the outstanding Chris Cox giving way. They rarely threatened second half, except the referee's integrity on a number of occasions. But hey.. fuck you all, get on with it and enjoy.
Something was boiling between Dave and White Arse which was out of my earshot and beyond my ken when with minutes to go Krakatoa went off. A little Dave tease, from my view, led to a violent running assault by his botty friend. A grapple ensued which swiftly proceeded to the undignified sight of some 10 people brawling in a public space. I had blown for the original foul and stood back admiring the pride of British manhood wrestling in the dog shit. Squealing of umpteen decibels pricked my curiosity so I moved in for a closer view to see Dave attempting to shake off his handlers, primarily Richard (I know that man's hold). Both were sent off (not Richard) and the game petered uneventfully to its conclusion by which time we were in a two nil lead thanks to an earlier deft Runni header from a deep Steve centre from the left.
Serious point!
People were saying bring on subs to replace 'men' dismissed,- a rule of thumb at Vets' level but with no grounding in any laws. If that had happened they would have had 11 and we, with two injured subs, one of whom had gone home for lunch, would have played with 10 thus favouring the team whose player had commenced the original physical mayhem. To have allowed Dave back on would have been against any sensible rules and would undoubtedly heightened the aggro. Result 10 a side to the end despite the fact that the protagonists had kissed and made up and had concealed themselves behind Mark Mills tree to continue comparing anatomical features.
Of course we should have qualified referees but that is £40, we are not affiliated, we couldn't get a referee if we tried so our stand ins are always somewhat restricted in what they can do. I felt like abandoning the game but their wee centre forward said no- he was probably right.
A member of the public told off Steve for swearing in public and Steve told me off for swearing at Dave. All was so much fun.
I picked up two enormous dog turds before the game commenced- Chief Dogshit Remover? But I drew the line at Alistair's parthian shot, en route home for lunch , that there was another turd lurking on the half way line. I know he's a doctor and I'm a .... but I am not qualified only as a shit shifter! Whose turn is it next home game- bring your own carrier bag!
The pub seethed - pleasantly where a superb repast of garlic bread... and garlic bread was served.
Big game on December 18th- Steve's 40 th. Where a Steve Bull Old Pals x1 takes on the Knobs. Steve pays for food afterwards and ALL the drinks- is that right, he provides the ref and washes both sets of kit. Late noon to Rileys for more BEER!
Get it in your diary!
Football always wins!

Old Minchendenians 2 Knobs 0

Roundly beaten in the end after a close first half which ended 0-0. Why? Who the fuck knows, everyone has their opinion and none of them are likely to remotely agree. Enjoyable? To a degree. It's a game of organised football an d we weren't disgraced. Everyone got a full game with only 11 of the signed on wannabees available and travelling to distant Cockfosters.
Once again we played 4 at the back, 5 across the middle and one up front. In the first half without looking in any way dangerous on the attack we were nevertheless compact and competent, people keeping their designated positions and trying hard. They were dangerous on three or four occasions but we escaped unscathed.
We never looked like solving the poser of who from the ranked masses in the rear was ever going to get up to support lone front man Chris Cox and then be able to get back to their allocated position behind the ball to suffocate the Minchy attacks. Fitness, age (therefore fitness), willpower were probably factors. There was no plan B for this contingency hence we were hardly an attacking force. Against Harpenden we had Gavin shouldering the attacking responsibilities with verve, last week, seemingly, we were just too good and fitter than the opposition (according to some well placed sources who played in both games) but today we might have sneaked a narrow win or nabbed a goalless draw at best.
The first move of the second half led to their opener when they smoothly staggered toward our area before finding their powerful centre forward who thrashed an unstoppable shot into the top corner. Shortly afterwards we lost a crucial part of the midfield when Darren A was reduced to hobbling having sustained a knee injury. With 10 it might have been considered a somewhat uphill struggle. It was! It was thereafter a struggle we never came to terms with and though we nearly equalised with our own special from Bill, we soon lost composure and cohesion and were fortunate not to concede more than one more goal- an own goal off the top of Ali's head that Paul could do little with without a ladder or a bat.
The young referee was good and very fair. They lost a couple of blokes to nasty injuries but fortunately they had subs. The defender who collided with his own bloke in the first half returned from hospital with his face grossly swollen (broken cheekbone)and is to be operated on on Thursday! True! Poor bugger- but our best wishes to him. Which of our players would you least like to collide with and why?
Food and clubhouse very acceptable. Everyone had a drink.
For the record the team was Paul
Jihn T, Darren H, Alistair, Bill,
Tony, Darren A, Steve, Chris G, Ron,
Chris C
Gavin and possibly Andy might be welcome additions back to the fold next week. Different game, horses for courses. Good luck!

Therfield 0 Knobs 2 - report by Dandy Dave

It was an exceptionally warm October morning in the idyllic village of Therfield where a master class of near total football was about to be played. We had a couple of new faces and a stand in goal keeper to make up the numbers as there were holidays galore being spent around the country, across Europe and further afield. Chris G was spending a few days in Sidmouth with Mrs G. Brendan was on the look out for a new disease in the Far East whilst Kenny and Bully and a few friends were sticking their fingers in soft tissue for 50 Euros a time. I heard that some of them were getting brown nosed as well!!
Anyway we had our Icelandic International Runar back in the team. Vinny popped along with a more than adequate goalie Stuart AKA Big Steve and a big thank you to Triathlon Trevor who mustered the energy after finishing a 20k swim,run and ride the previous day. Before we got on the pitch we opened the kit bag which was washed by Paul Crosby and i have to say i have never smelt a more revolting smell since i was on a veg diet last year. We came to the conclusion that Paul had let his Labrador Bill piss all over the the kit on Monday and let it fester for the remaining days so we could get the full force of it. I even tried to use my Ralgex to over come such a dreadful whiff. The kit must always be conditioned with a suitable fabric conditioner i use comfort Strawberry and Lily Kiss i highly recommend it.
As the game kicked off i new from the start that the tactics used were the right ones. I went for the same as last week with 5 in the middle. Bully was sitting between defence and midfield and was influential assisting in both goals. He gelled well with Darren H and Alistair AKA Angus! Which i have now changed to Agnus. Who would have thought it Bully,Darren H and Agnus all working for the cause. Things are looking up for sure. We were on the front foot from the start and did not give them a seconds rest while we were playing attractive football with some great one touch passing and moving into space when needed. Chris Cox was once again running tirelessly whilst Mr Boyle was again running up and down the right like a hare. 20 minutes in Vinny came on for me and showed great composure whilst on the ball linking well with Bully and Chris C. We had the opposition running ragged and it payed dividends on 35 minutes from a weak throw the ball landed at Bully's feet and in a blink of an eye he swept the ball out to the left (out side of boot) where Runar found himself running towards their right back. He dropped a shoulder jinked in side and curled a perfect shot in the top right corner of the goal. It was the least we deserved. We had one kicked off the line although some say it was over and a goal mouth scramble which should have ended up with Darren A getting his first for the season. John Boyle was having his usual spat with the referees assistant who should have been still on his paper round. We go in 1 nil at half time with a positive buzz in the camp.
There wasn't much to say at half time apart from keep it up and do the same again. They made a few changes in the second half with Fat lad who plays centre back usually up front and slotting one extra in the middle. They applied alot of pressure for 15/20 minutes and we weathered the storm quite well still playing to feet where possible and playing ourselves out of trouble with ease. Big Steve made a fantastic one on one save and just to add he has a drop kick which can bring down an aeroplane. Im sure the first one he done is still on the way to Royston. I think they gave up with 15 to go Runar went off with a twisted ankle as there were alot of pot holes on the pitch. Vinny came back on in the middle i went left mid and connected well with Young Bill who had another solid performance, your not finished! I can see you having at least 10 starts this season.
We finished the game as we started on the attack for the majority of the play. Bully had a 45 yard shot (he suggested 45 id say more 35) which was saved by the keeper who had a busy morning. Then finally with 3 minutes to go Bully played a beautiful pass out to John who turned the defender inside out and cracked a close ranger in to the roof of the net.They were lucky they only lost by 2 it would have been more if it wasn't for Triathlon Trevor. For his kindly donated £500 for the new kit he was allowed to do whatever he wanted and he did. He just didn't do what was expected of him and score. His Mike Lisle Esq performance will go down in KNOBS history as one of the best non scoring forwards performance.
Only 7 in the pub Vinny was whisked off by the wife who made up the capacity crowd of 13. Next AGM no wives at the game on the agenda please. In summing up there is now fierce competition for centre back as Darren H and Agnus both had a sterling game. Runar may be filling the left midfield slot and Vinny is definitely one that could get better and better. Hopefully big Steve may fancy another run out he's the only one who fits the shirt.

Love, Dandy

Harpenden Rovers 1 Knobs 2

We didn't need the cover blog though it was thought it was worth a posting as a current indication of management strategic thinking under the influence of Bonkers Conkers.
Jihn got the weather perfectly correct- misty morning giving way to unbroken sunshine.
In a very real sense many aspects of Blog 1 were realised in reality. The deadwood, has-beens and never-will-bes more than adequately covered for the wholesale absences of their more illustrious chums, la creme de la club. Against a younger Harpenden side, champions of the past two seasons we imposed defeat upon them on their own patch.
WELL DONE! Togetherness conquers all, well it fucking helps.
For the record, today's personnel has been calculated as the oldest vets side put out by Knebworth since records began (when was that ?). The players had an aggregate age of 612 years which neatly takes us back to 1399 and the usurpation of Richard 11's throne by Henry Bolingbroke- fond memories! Twelve chaps contributed constituting an average age of 51- you super vets yous.
For the record, in case never repeated, the roll of honour is as follows.
Ron 65, Bill 55, Jihn Twigg 55, Chris Cox 55, Paul Crosby 54, Chris G 54, Brendan 51, Phil Wells 50, Dave 46, Alistair 45, John Boyle 44 and Gavin 38.
The formation was 1-4-5-1.
Paul was keeper, Gavin was forward line. From the off the performance of each and every player saw to it that the midfield area was energetically congested and vigorously contested. More to the point until very near to the end (they scored their goal in the final minute) the positional discipline and the energetic commitment was sustained- no 10 minute wonder and all fall down dead. This was truly impressive in terms of context and personnel. I heartily mean that. Instead of talking the talk we actually emphatically walked the walk! Many of us have seen better days and certainly better days have seen us looking and playing better but hey if that's a last hurrah for some then so be it. We've reached the summit and the view was lovely. Such a performance , effort and commitment will take some replicating, but the inspiration has been provided, others will now need to meet the challenge.
Every one gets 10 out of 10 but the performance of Gavin needs extra mention in the dispatches. He had a terrific game, supported from behind by an impenetrable wall of yellow.
An early break saw us go close from midfielder Chris Griffiths' shot until we deservedly took the lead from a searching pass from fullback Bill found Gavin against an advancing keeper. Gav took his chance early and slotted home. He did the flat on the back Charlie George routine in celebration in the absence of a dentist's chair.
We lost Chris Cox from the midfield after 25 minutes only to be replaced by the controversial linesman, the more than incapable Ron. I was hoping for a quiet morning on the line, nursing stitched leg and cracked ribs but duty called. First time I had ever felt in danger of being sent off as a linesman so just as well I came on! Half time 1-0.
Second half much the same and we had several promising attacks, free kicks and corners where our luck wasn't in. Paul was relatively untroubled till the last 10 minutes. Gavin's surges were causing a mass outbreak of brickshitting in the Harpenden defence. On several occasions he was mown down, once deep in the penalty area. Up stepped Bill to emphatically double the lead from the spot. Another attack saw midfielder Dave lob toward an unprotected goal from 40 yards only to see ball bounce on a bone hard surface and tantalisingly scrape over the cross bar. Mention of John Boyle's midfield heroics should include one huge, courageous tackle near the end which left those around in no doubt that here they were in the middle of a real game. Alistair and Brendan had excellent games at the back against their usually potent strike force. Yet everyone contributed, The Bill- Jihn combination on the left made their mark particularly in the crucial first half . It was lovely to have grumbling Phil Wells back after a two year absence from the game at right back and a three in the centre of midfield proved tireless and immovable.
Their centre half's toe-poked cross, in the final minute, drifted into the top corner but it was much too late for them by then.
A tough, sporting contest, thank you one and all. A refreshment in their clubhouse then a triumphant return to the Station (empty), where glee, mirth and self satisfaction (not smugness) knew no bounds.
One could get accustomed to wearing a shinpad.
Paddy

Harpenden 1 Knobs 5 - report by Jihn T

Well who would have thought it? A misty autumn morn on the outskirts of St Albans and Harpenden brought the new dawn we’ve been waiting for. A fine team performance where age and ambition overcame youth and derision.

The early knock-ins were evenly shared, with the Harpenden midfield four matched equally by the enterprising Knobs midfield men. Ten minutes in, after Ally had completed his usual range finding exercise by kicking the ball twice into the trees he was ready to make his mark on the game. Playing from the back Brendan refused to be mowed down by the scything tackle of the Harpenden No6 and moved the ball skilfully onto Bill who dissected the field with a telling through ball to Ally. His tantalising, swirling cross was met forcefully by Chris C and as the net bulged, so did Knobs confidence. No deadwood there then, just dead good.

The game continued apace and whilst Harpenden did their share of attacking, two further goals by half time from the kneeworthy Gavin and a long range effort from Phil which caught the keeper by surprise, meant we went in at half time with a well deserved 3-0 lead.

The usual stirring half time pep talk from Chris G had, unusually for this season, a galvanising effect. Straight from the kick off a Jihn T curled ball up the left wing fell into the path of the flighty Gavin. A shimmy and shammy gave Ron time to join in the fray, executing a neat one-two with Gavin who crossed to find John B at the far post. 4-0!

Half-way through the second period came our unfortunate defensive mistake – passing to their centre forward who bustled his way through a robust challenge from Dave. The resulting shot gave Crozzers no chance in goal and tarnished what would otherwise have been a seamless performance.

A final flurry with five minutes to go after a long period of intense Harpenden pressure provided us with the opportunity to snatch a fifth. Dave once more foraged forward, looking really for someone else less advantaged than their forwards to foul. His mission became distracted by the ball which had been teased into their half following a series of quick passes, to our own team on this occasion, and an accurate cross-field knock by Phil. Dave’s cute control enabled a final masterful pass through to the on running Gavin who slotted wide after rounding their flailing right back.

Full house at the pub to sample the Harpenden fare and congratulations all round.

5-1. Who said it would be a rout? Roll on Therfield next week.

Knobs 2 Wilbury 8

Did we enjoy that?
We were 1-0 up, nice header from Gary from a Steve corner.
Then didn't defend well individually (not positionally) from a few attacks and we were soon 2-1 down.
Equaliser came from a Gary cut back which was emphatically headed home by their defender.
They took a 3-2 lead by half time when we gave it away in a dangerous place- our half. If you're gonna give the ball away only do it the opponent's half (new tactic)- it gives us a little bit of a better chance. Passing poor all over pitch today. Overwhelmed in midfield with Chris Wilson's energy stretched to the limit, Steve playing with a physical ailment, and our wide midfielders too wide , too slow and too immobile.
Internecine altercations abound this season. I personally try to ignore but not easy. Please bollock nicely by encouraging, none of us at present are that fucking good. Too many cliques have broken out, look at yourself before others and see how you can improve in effort at least. Effort goes a long way. Moaning, pirouhetting in a fit of pique and standing like a statue and not making a little bit of an effort at chasing back might be eliminated and help us out of this present trough. Not only do we have players who are reticent about playing against certain teams but it has been brought to my attention that there are players who are avoiding playing in games in the company of certain other players. Could be a long season but everyone'll probably get a game!
All this would never have happened when Big Bob roamed the rec. Mind you Big Bobism put a few players off playing.
They won 6-0 in second half.
Last twenty minutes was encouraging in terms of effort despite their "ability" to score every time they looked at our goal. Wont go into the goals individually, not that I can't remembrer them , just there were some really embarrassing ones.
This week's tip, positive chat. Too many people trying to programme others' games. Gags should be provided next week. Oh yes and enjoy your training and ball practices this week. Quite important for improvement of touch and technique dont you know.
Nice turn out in pub.
Dave and I struggled to take posts out alone. I now have a cracked rib. Thanks to everyone who stayed to help. Some people seem to think that this little club arranges itself. The fixture list appears, oppositions sneakily materialise each Sunday morning, new kits appear, finances are just sorted somehow, balls errantly kicked into trees and gardens mysteriously reappear, referees grow on the trees that hide the balls, dressing rooms are self cleaning, a post match social drink is arbitrary and just as long as individuals turn up, 'play' then fuck off that is a privilege conferred on the club by them!
Well it hasn't lasted 25 years without people mucking in. Just a thought.
Enjoyed my four hours in the Lister waiting for my leg to be stitched. What a strange world that is- hoards there seemingly camping out in family groups.
Am up for selection next week, I know I couldn't play worse again.
Toodle pip.
Shit shoveller- what's new!

Knobs 2 Goldings 1

That's better, refreshed.
First win of the season and a bit of a struggle against a doughty 10 men. they had six call offs that morning but hey......
Dave started in goal and looked the part. Latest centre forward Simon on the bench and off we jolly well went. Surely too good a side for their 10 men, which the result eventually proved. Just! In the first minute our forward line, Andy, was through 1-1 with the keeper, scuffed and was thwarted. So it went on as we attacked. We were never anywhere near convincing with our finishing- shooting call it what you will. Dry pitch, bouncy and bobbly? Oh yes what a scorcher of a day, well done to all participants for existing through it.
Their chances were not converted, two of them in the first half due to sloppy cross field passes across the back which were intercepted. One shot crashed against the bar with Dave confidently.......
It soon panned out into a game of our attacks and their energetic defending. their centre half was speedy and classy. A notable feature was, with so much possession, people on the ball had the time to try and do too much themselves. An unaccustomed luxury of too much time and space. As a result attacks lacked momentum, pace and usually ended up with the wrong players trying to hit killer balls. Very disjointed. But despair not, thought they all, it's just a matter of time.
It shouldn't have been like that. With time and space the easy ball through the opposition was disdained. Perhaps it was the heat!
Half time 0-0.
Brendan replaced Dave in goal, his hand swollen from a hornet's sting. How confident is that?
Our shooting continued to be poor , though the woodwork was struck a few times. Our heading is poor to non existent so as to doubt the wisdom of us employing anything so prosaic as a cross.
But then we scored in a scramble which saw John Boyle gleefully tap in from close range.
They had some attacks, patient and steady, mainly through the energy and bustle of their young centre midfield man. I'll be 71 when he qualifies as a vet.
Brendan did a nice chicken shooing scoop round the post- taught him all I knew. He then saved us 3 or 4 times in the space of an attack (somehow) before retiring hurt. Steve Bull voluntarily took to the gloves. Noone was remotely interested in passing to him outfield so he made a good choice. The corner, conceded by Brendan's last act, flew over, was undefended and was backheeled in from a yard. Steve's keeping debut was in tatters- a clean sheet for 7 seconds. We did score a winner quite easily. Ball moving from right to left, reaching Andy who almost apologetically slotted home. look how easy that was !
We had a penalty denied when their centre half headed down onto his arm. Construed as unintentional and could hardly been seen as giving them an advantage! In the last seconds the referee did not see a lashed cross which apparently struck Tony's arm, arms and belly, arms, belly, willie and kneecap. Whatever. I'd turned to look to the linesman to see if he'd flagged for a throw in and missed the ensuing cross. Implored to ask honest Tony if he'd handled it, I did. He said no. Their man then said that's what we'd all say! Then what was the point of asking me to ask him? Circularity and non sequiturs.
Result 2-1.
Pub, few of them, a good few of us.

Insanus omnis furere credit ceteros!

Tips. Play to our strengths. Ball to feet where feasible. Running into space not a strength of ours except when Andy and Gavin are in the team. Remember Steve Bull stands around promisingly in midfield to help those whose strengths are elsewhere located, to pass the ball accurately, otherwise what's the ........
Principles.
We decide to recruit players when it's urgent, like 5 years ago, and the committee usually rubberstamps this. We have quite a squad of players signed and paid up presently, regardless how old, bow legged, slow, blind or batty they are and they are the cards the club plays with. Newcomers desperate to join our illustrious club in these circumstances must wait and take their chance when opportunity arises, like Darren H did originally and if I may say so like I did myself, months went by waiting for a call.
We have used 3 new centre forwards in 5 games. If they are keen they will understand the policy and will gradually fit in.

Most promising and improving player of the year. Bill reminded me of the now defunct award that used to be presented. Perhaps it should be resuscitated for several reasons, not least being the acknowledgement that we are none of us the finished article.

Goalkeeper:
Trevor played 2 conceded 11
Paul played 1 conceded 7
Ron played 1 conceded 2
Brendan played 20 minutes but now retired due to broken fingers - conceded 0
Steve played 25 minutes conceded 1
Dave played 45 minutes conceded )
AND the NEW KNOBS keeper is........ DAVE!!!!!! Stats never lie.

OCTOBER 16th game away to Harpenden. It is apparent that we are going to be short of several players that day. First thoughts were we should cancel early. But chat in the pub suggested we should play the fixture utilising less regular players. Probably correct, especially since we have no spare dates in our fixture list to re-schedule. SUGGEST people contact Dave early to pledge their availablity and commitment.
Available so far, Chris G, Ron, John B, Brendan, Chris W (probably), Chris C (possibly), Gavin,
Dave.

I have whittled at length, not a jot more will I wit.
Goodbye.

Knobs 2 Goldings 1

League game, 3 points, John Boyle, MoM, we stuffed those wallies bye bye! See you in the morning.

Knackered boy.

Shephall 2 Knobs 2

The glorious Indian summer saw some approach to form. Several players looked a bit fitter despite Friday's celebratory exertions.
Gavin left the Station on Friday night, back in the fold, he'd be there, he wasn't. John saw him Saturday and he was keeping himself for next week. Pity, he was earmarked today for a half of endeavour outfield and a half in his favourite position, goalkeeper. As it was noone wanted the gloves, so, never one to let the team down I took on the role- nice new jersey mind.
Kicking uphill against the wind and into the sun first half we played reasonably well. (The sun went in second half). We took a quick lead when Andy rounded the keeper to net. I could see things would only go awry if they started centreing and shooting. I did tip one deflected shot onto the bar but thereafter seemed to forget where my hands were and what they for. It's quite hard trying to save every shot with your feet but hey I tried. They equalised when their bustling centre forward was allowed too much room for a shot which unerringly nestled in the corner of the net- why didn't I dive? They swiftly took a lead, a ball from the left, such a small pitch, smuggled back to the left where one of the two waiting predators volleyed home. I like to think Trevor would have saved it. New player Gary was showing promise on the left but became more influential when he moved inside and upfront. Chris Wilson was buzzing in midfield, now for a passing improvement, John Boyle was having a season debut game of solidity, but needs matches and a resolution of his pinged leg. Darren at full back, keeping away from M. Boyle's Friday weekend benders and John's lagers over the back fence, was back to his youthful best.
Chris Cox was bustling and playing football on the ground and all was better. But we didn't win so not really good enough.
Second half, Darren H on for Brendan. Do you play in goal Darren?- ~#****ck **shit~*&. so I continued, I only arsked.. We defended comfortably second half. Had several chances, loads of attacks. Their keeper made some terrific , match saving saves but near the end we equalised. A Bully corner, at last headed goalwards by Gary and swept into the net by Chris Cox.
An 8-4 game for us ended 2-2.
Get Trevor!!!! Very important.
The Crown pub at Aston End was very pleasant.
(Brendan was late, but in time for kick off. Darren H was very late and missed the team photo just before kick off in the NEW KIT. For the record.)
Better than previous weeks by a long chalk but disappointing that we didn't wallop them. A good spirited game, no hastle. Next week Goldings at home. Someone remind Alistair, Goldings!!!
LOL whatever that means.

Knobs 0 Old Owens 6

Lovely day, good turn out in the pub, general bonhomie so that's great.
Too much pre match merriment, get serious chaps because results are not terribly encouraging.
Choose a plan of play and stick to it for at least 15 minutes. THE PLAN, apart from the quick out ball when you have Andy, Gavin or a fit again Matt playing, should be an endeavour to win the ball and play some sort of passing game with it, but a passing game with a modicum of control.
Playing quick passes comes later. To begin just receive the ball, control it then pass it and hopefully move to a new receiving position. (Perhaps that's asking too much but is something to work toward!) Something simple is amiss because we are not individually that bad. It can't be just bad luck. Yet in 3 games we have been unrecognisable and have been stuffed. We gave it away far too many times through wayward, rushed, over hit or under hit passes. Whatever football we managed today looked strained, nay constipated. If we strung 3 or 4 passes together it looked
amazing- amazing that it could have actually occurred! They, in contrast flowed. They looked different class and yet they were the usual Owens side bar one quite skilful midfielder. They also, as did Saints last week, foraged, pressurised and closed down very well. We did not.
Good points were Trevor caught many crosses and saved us with blinding saves. The woodwork had a positive game for us. They also helped by missing a few. We had a couple of shots wide from distance and Chris Cox had an early sidefoot cleared off the line. Aught else?
Twiggy had a good 90 as linesman. Ron reffed. Bloke kept calling me 'dipstick'- what can you say? We lost all our balls up trees or damaged by the pumpsman.
This week's list of participants- Trevor
Alistair, Brendan, Tony, Dave
Darren A, Chris W, Steve B, Martin
Matt, Chris C subs: Paul, John. Darren H failed to show.
This week sees a day of golf, where every hole isn't a goal, on Friday, followed by an evening of merriment in the evening in that theatre of mirth the Station Hotel. Knobs 25th celebrations start here.
Next week another league game away to mighty Shephall in the new kit. Please bring your commitment. Howay the lads!

Knobs 3 Saints 5

First league game in the new extended league. Poor result but that only tells part of the story.
Some of our best players available but it might be said that not all were playing in their best positions. Dave will be looking for versatility from several players considering how well off we are at centre back and left back but that might prove problematical on this show.
First half we were behind 1-0 early on. Their pacy centre forward beat the offside trap to square across the goal where they attacked far better than we defended. First half two noticeable problems , we were very very narrow. The only person occupying any width was Andy in his peeling off runs at pace. Secondly when we were in possession we were in hot potato land. Few were comfortable on the ball, not helped by their more energetic closing down and harrying. Still 1-0 at half time and with a brisk wind behind us in the second half all was far from lost.
Second half saw them capitalise on their forward play better than we did. They had a centre forward who was hard to handle but we had Andy who was a bit tasty too at this level. Both scored hattricks. They went two up with a splendid individual goal from the number 9 who worked himself into a shooting position before finding the top corner from 20 odd yards. A lovely move between Darren H and Andy saw the latter reduce the deficit. I was linesman and their third was 3 yards off for which I flagged. The centre forward's shot being blocked and carrying forward to a man well offside but who finished easily. Explanation for the overrule? Several decisions were going against Saints. My view? This was because on several occasions they were offside but teams only remember the decisions that do not favour them. The difficulties of officiating! Anyway it was 3-1. An individual goal by Andy out muscling the keeper before lobbing home made it 3-2. Still in it. The number 9 added a couple to put matters beyond reach seemingly. Brendan was doing a Bambi on ice routine at full back culminating in a handball with hand swiftly placed behind back with probably 20 degrees of difficulty. The penalty was struck like an exocet but incredibly saved by Trevor. How did that stick? The last 20 minutes proved rousing for us but apart from another individual rocket for our third, by Andy, we just couldn't claw our way back.
Problem?
In a competitive game the irresolvable problem of giving everyone a fair share of the game rather than sticking with the likeliest personnel for the day. We had 11 players and 4 subs, including me. I'd love to play a whole game but know I am not as likely to contribute in a game such as this compared to a younger , fitter team mate. Mind on one's day you never know. To compete more equally in that game, a maximum of two subs would have been key in order to maintain vigour and continuity. Mind I'm available for all the games, I 'enjoyed' my 20 minute run out at the end.
It's Old Owens in the league next week so with a couple of games under our belts a more energetic performance will be expected. It was very obvious that we were not fit enough or desirous enough to support the speedy Andy when he want on the attack, we were very very stretched.
Nice in the pub, good turn out, Dave busy as a bee. Keep it up!
Toodle pip!
Ronald

KNOBS 1 Garston 7 - Report by Gavin Simpson

A new season begins and with it a new management team, new communication methods (I’m rather liking the texts), new organisation (with regards early putting up of the nets and team sheet in the changing room), new strip (to come) but sadly, on the evidence of Sunday, still dog shit on the pitch. I mean that literally but you can choose whether you use it metaphorically. It was tough. There are no two ways around it. This Garston match is a killer. The toughest match we play all year and I’m not sure it is healthy at the start of the season. De-moralising to say the least. HOWEVER…let’s take the positives. We scored a goal. We played some nice football (at times) in the second half and judging by those watching on the sideline we have strength in depth. Actually…just depth.

Playing our normal 4-4-2 formation, there was a debut for Barney. Hopefully he won’t be thinking it is like this every week. He looked a neat player when he had the ball. Sadly, hardly any of us saw enough of it in the first half. They kept hold of it well and we kept on giving it away. The first goal was a penalty as Dave handled it. The ball went past Paul’s despairing dive, struck the post and then went in. After that, the goals came along quite steadily for them. I think at one stage Andy had a shot. Bully definitely had a free-kick but I can’t quite remember any other highlights. Oh…Phil attempting to lob the keeper from the halfway line was a goodie but it sailed just over.

In the second half it was much of the same. Maybe there was a temptation to change shape but it never happened. We were over-run. Eventually we improved but that might be when they went down to ten men due to injuries. Finally we got a penalty in the dying-seconds of the game that Martin tucked away nicely. He’s a goal a game man! Well…for this current season at least.

Anyway, onwards and upwards. Back to the Station. No Royal Legion this year. What did the Station offer? I don’t know…I wasn’t there. Had peas on my knee at that point. Was it good? Were they friendly? Will they do food? It is the Saints next week. We know it won’t be as difficult and the cobwebs have been blown away, so come on…as they say in ‘Annie’ – you’ve got to stick out that chin and grin and say…tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow, tomorrows a day a way!!!

2011/2012 Season

The new season is fast approaching and the new management team of Dandy Dave and Twiggy can't wait to get rid of the thankless task to Sir Ronald who is having none of it. Sir Ronald was a fine manager but is now concentrating on getting fit and securing a regular starting place in the team.

I hope everyone is ready for another exciting season of miserable fat old gits moaning, whinging and thinking they are superstars when the sad reality is they are nothing of the sort. Can't people get happier and kinder as the the years pass by? No they can't!

On a personal level my goals for the season are to try and experience the joy of seeing a pass bobble along on a mud heap of a pitch and actually reach a fellow team member and to get a transfer to the local petanque team.

The fixtures for the new season are now on the KNOBS FC website and there is a link to the site to the left of this page. Playing registration forms are on their way so get your £20 ready.

Good luck to all end enjoy the summer.

Guilden Morden 3 Knobs 4

At the shag end of the season, in Death Valley temperatures, the Knobs returned to winning ways. A competitive game against a well organised side, we deserved the victory.
A struggle to get personnel ended with us turning up early with 13. They took an age to make the pitch and get the game underway though a good opportunity was afforded to take in the splendid nearby church of St Mary. I was struck by its pebbled and stone rubble embattled exterior (remember Knebworth- crennellated) being almost exclusively Perpendicular. Just across the lane stood the Edward V11 pub- but we have to await the slaking of thirst until the football matters were dealt with.
At last the referee arrived. He was quite competent and fair but he missed a certain penalty when he deemed Gavin to have "gone down too easily" as he hared towards a goal at his mercy. The ankle tapper behind Gav was some 5 yards from the ball and stopped a certain goal.
A strange old mix of a side did more than well. Vinnie came from the village to deputise and showed terrific promise before running out of steam. Kelwyn made a return for us, putting Dave through with a slide rule pass only for Dave to shoot early and over albeit with pace and ferocity. Side pass to Gavin, open goal?
Paul had a very competent game in goal catching everything cleanly and faultless for the goals.
Phil looks static- that's cos he is but he got so much of the ball- anticipation as to where to stand to intercept, tackle and receive. His terrific strike from distance brought up our first equaliser to a goal where we were caught on the break and perhaps didn't challenge vigorously for possession. Classy shots and passes throughout.
John Boyle , in his best position right back had an excellent game also managing to frequently join in the attack and provide telling crosses. His best contribution an injury defying tackle to prevent a certain goal from the foot of their forward some 5 yards from goal.
Chris Wilson, player of the year, had an energetic game at the back but proved incapable of preventing Brendan roaming the length and breadth of Cambridgeshire when it took his fancy. All the time virtually.
Mind you the diving header Brendan scored at the far post burst the net. A spectacular conversion from a Mark Mills shot/corner which put us ahead 3-2. They'd scored from a mistake after a punt down the middle which was not defended but our second came from an excellent John Boyle cross headed in emphatically by Tom. They equalised with 5 minutes left from a delicious chip from 25 yards but we had a final say. A nice move Kelwyn to Ron, Ron to Mark, Mark out to John Boyle who centred for Tom to volley goalwards, hits the bar falls to the line then crosses it with a little help from Gavin.
Bill played left back and was inspirational, good positioning sense making up for any lack of match practice and when in doubt he cleared his lines with distance.
Well that's all folks!
It's been great to know you .
Give Dave and John the same commitment and enjoyment will be guaranteed.
The pub was fine, the Guinness was cold and Phil drove oh so steadily home, I loved it!

Ex Manager

team meet -presentations

What happened- that Red Stripe!
A pleasant drink at Ye Cricket Club- John loves it, country views and beer. Lots turned up but where was Paul? Brendan apparently was pissed in Copenhagen, piss poor excuse. We had our wee presentation then hit the Raja for sustenance. We are now banned, oh well there you go. Dave said he didn't like curry and didn't want to go.
Awards. Democtratic players' Player of Year, Chris, no longer young, Wilson.
Clubman of the year John Boyle, Bill has at last got rid of a dust gathering piece of clutter.
Manager's Player of the Year, Tony 'locked in the lavatory' aka Kenny Kingsland. Well deserved.
Ron got some leaving gifts- yet the bastards going nowhere after all. His approach to Maggie in orange pants and Peruvian hat clutching nodding trophy at midnight got a verbal shafting. C'est la vie!
Remember June 26th away v Guilding Morden, I'll be in touch, the home to Garston on September 4th.

Team Meeting & Awards Presentation

A team meeting and awards presentation will take place at Knebworth Park Cricket Club on Friday 10th June from 6pm onwards.

This will be an extra special occasion as outgoing manager Sir Ronald hands over the club constitution to incoming managers Dandy Dave and Twiggy. The new management team have agreed to a 10 minute Q&A session so there will be a chance to ask any questions that you may have on the future direction of the team.

I hope everyone can make the effort to come along for a beer and a burger as it promises to be a great evening. If you don't fancy a beer or a burger them come along for views of the beautiful grounds of Knebworth House.

Awards will be presented for top goalscorer, managers player of the season, players player of the season and clubman of the year.

26.6.11

Game away to Guilding Morden 11 am kick off.
The new season starts here, or the old season ends?
Howay you young lads rally to the call and hev a bevvy post match.
Hey that Sepp Blatter what a politician! Money and greasy palms makes this world of ours go round- but in which direction.
The ego direction, you can't criticise that. It seems to be human nature.
Come along to the Leisure centre every Thursday and kick a sorta ball round the adjourn to the Lytton Arms for a post prandial pint or 7.
Love you all.
Hey that test match - what sort of game is that? Slow, slow, no quick, a bit more slow then wipeout in a flash of a spark.
Just like us at pre puberty.
Well done Swansea, ptide of Wales.

Knobs 2 Old Elizabethans 2

Final game of the season and final blog. Hail me hearties. The score draw specialists, yet we've only lost one in the last fourteen or so Kenny reliably tells me.
A fine, very windy day doesn't make it easy on May's bumpy pitches. So well done both teams turning out and playing in a sporting, good natured contest.
First half we played against the gale and were frustrated in our efforts to keep the ball on the deck and find men accurately. I had the sneaking feeling we weren't trying to find our men with any great desire preferring to seek out killer balls, not easy, or putting stuff into spaces where noone was willing or even able to venture. Yet we had chances Matt and Ron ballooning skywards and Phil nearly deceiving their competent keeper with a wickedly dipping free kick. Our competent keeper Monsieur Twigg (Jihn) was tested by low shots which he handled convincingly. They had five subs we had two- any advantage?
Half time 0-0.
Second half we had the gale behind us and threatened. Perhaps we ought to have pressed as a team far more as they continuously attempted to play the ball out from the back. Richard made a fine run down the middle but had his shot smothered by the keeper. John cut in and let fly a screamer which was tipped over and Ron never anticipated Dion Dublin fluffing an easy clearing header, farpost at a corner and was rooted to the spot watching the ball trickle away for a goal kick. Fucking nugget. Then soon we found ourselve two down with twenty minutes to play. A shot hit the bar fell to the goal line and was tapped in by the nearest proactive presence, one of their men. Their second was a sweetly struck snapshot out of nothing.
Our comeback took place when Ron took himself off- what meaning is this? Tony advanced and a lashed a long distance bullet which the keeper saved but spilled and Richard popped home to offer us respite. Phil played a ball round the full back to Richard who crossed hard only hitting their defender, presumably on the hand or arm , which is why Alistair awarded a penalty. Harsh? The palpably injured Steve Bull found his usual spot with great accuracy, just as well since the goalie nearly touched it. 2-2 and that is how it remained.
Thank you all for being such good sports except for leaving John to take the kit home to Nicky once again!
Into the legendary Legion where both sides attended. Only six!
The blog will continue into the summer with stories of training escapades, bike rides and new signings by Darren, development officer and minute taker.
See you on the 10th for presentations at some as yet unidentified Stevenage groghouse.

The Real Thing - Litlington Vets 3 Knobs 3

Sunday morning and current manager Sir Ronald had gone missing, nowhere to be seen and no way to contact him. I was wondering what we would do without our spiritual leader until Dandy Dave arrived raring to go and with team sheet to hand. I picked up the bag of Orange shirts and off we went with 13 shirts for our 14 outfield players.

On arrival the team sheet had obviously been quickly pinned to the wall and I realised to my horror that I had talked myself out of the starting 11 and yet again I was warming the bench and even worse young Tommy had not even made the squad. And there was me thinking that I had cemented my place in the team with my enthusiasm and commitment to the Knobs cause on the journey with Dave. Brendan went off to fetch the kit bag and lucky enough there was a spare Orange shirt within. All appeared to be fine and dandy until Darren H was left standing there in his Y fronts with no shorts in sight. Luckily Litlington had a spare pair of extra large shorts and the game could commence.

We started brightly against a good side and Andy finished well for the first goal. Shots were then raining in on goal, most went wide, some went over and the rest were well saved by the keeper. It was non-stop, not end to end as there was only one goal but it was exciting stuff nonetheless. Then I looked away from my game with Tommy just in time to wake up the rest of the subs and see Litlington equalise.

Bully then took a fall on his knee and Dandy Dave had his first decisions regarding substitutions to make. I was on and as is becoming the norm I was soon involved in an exchange of words, rest assured to Scott of Litlington that I was talking about the rowdy crowd directly behind and not to him. We were soon 2-1 up with another goal from Andy, a cross, I mean shot that sailed high into the net. By the end of the half it was 2-2 when we conceded a sloppy goal.

More substitute decisions for Dandy Dave at half time but he coped well with all the opinions directed his way from our expertly knowledgeable squad. The second half was off and I was fully focussed and nothing was going to interrupt my concentration on the remainder of the game ahead. It was end to end stuff, very fast and furious but with much quality on display. I kept thinking how amazing it was to see such balance and agility from young footballers, this game was a feast for the eyes and what makes this game so loved by all. Tommy and his new mates were putting on an exhibition of football and I cannot overstate how enjoyable it was to behold.

I am reliably informed that the highlight of the second half was when Uncle Phil scored after expertly controlling the ball from well outside the area and hitting an unstoppable left foot volley over the keeper and into the top corner. Another sloppy goal and it was all level again. Huff and puff we did and huff and puff they did and I am again reliably informed that it was an entertaining game between 2 decent evenly matched sides. Starting 11 were Mark N, Darren A, Brendan, Tony, Jihn T, Dandy Dave, Bully, Chris W, Phil, Richard and Andy with subs John B, Paul, Darren H and Mark M. After the game the Crown pub was well attended by both sides and we were all treated to masses of sausages, chips, bread & butter and some other bits. What a pleasant day indeed!

We seek him here, we seek him there but where was and is Sir Ronald – in Pembrokeshire, in Somerset, hiding in his bedroom with his ear muffs on or at the end of the garden with liquor flowing?

Litlington 7 Knobs 0

The worst performance for years........ hic!

Knobs 2 Walkern 2

Team Paul; Darren A, Chris G, Tony, Brendan; Chris W, Martin, Steve, Phil; Jihn T, Richard.
Subs Gerry for Phil (45), Phil for Steve (60), Steve for John (65). Sub not used Mark (Carrow on the mind).
On the top pitch we kicked toward Stevenage first half with a wind at our backs. Some neat play ensued. Looking OK. A 45 yarder from Phil sped over. We looked accomplished at the back.
The pitch was firm but less bumpy than last week. Then a misdirected diagonal pass from Phil bounced in the penalty area, took off vertically and soared over the keeper. So it remained till half time, though they did have a rising rasper clear our bar and Phil and Chris had a couple of noteworthy long rangers..
We went two up when a pacy free kick from Steve was headed upwards by their centre half. They watched as it fell to Gerry who left the way clear for Richard to smash home from 6 yards.
All still comfortable. A run by their full back saw him pull the ball back into the 6 yard box where it unfortunately took a bounce off Tony and trickled home. Was it out before the cross ? Probably. Asked whether it was out their man declined to aver. Mark on the line could not see from the far side, too many daisies in the way- goal stood.
Their equaliser was as bizarre as it was indescribable, so I'll not try too hard. Suffice to say Tony was ushering the ball out for a goal kick whereupon Paul, desperate to keep the game alive dived to save us from our own goal kick. He kept the ball in play at the expense of giving their bloke a tap in from two. But hey, he played well.
Steve took a nasty fall. Bet his shoulder's popped out. But he came back on. Did anyone comment, I didn't hear.
An exciting meet in the Legion about 20 odd of us. Sandwiches and crisps provided by Maggie this week. Not enough. Everyone satisfied with the venue, except a curmudgeonly Phil.
Next week away to Litlington 10.30 ko where we may have a new centre forward deputising.
The week after, the season's final game and mine, probably forever, hope we can field a side what with christenings and Spurs final home game.
Toodle pip!

Knobs 2 Ashwell 2

It was hot, it was hard, breezy and bumpy. The heat played havoc with brain and feet. Yet a game was played for all that.
Struggled to get a team out but with the help of father and son combo, the Martins, we managed 11.
An eternity seemed spent erecting posts and nets due to torpor and a dearth of those little white things. We eventually kicked off uphill around 11. We dominated the first half and when we could get the darned ball under control some actual football was in danger of being played.
Some lovely crosses were unconverted but a lead was established when Ron for once passed a long square ball to the left to Phil. He neatly turned inside the defender and smashed home in a blur.
Another pleasing move was converted from close range by Tom, 2-0. Gavin, in between goals was butchered to the floor as he hurtled in on goal. No penalty, well everyone else knew it was but the returning Martin in a valiant attempt at self beatitude persuaded referee Alistair it was outside the area. The free kick awarded, barely better than a corner, was poor reward. I suppose we thought it wouldn't matter in the long run. They rarely threatened in the first half apart from a piece of eccentricity from keeper Paul, receiving a goal kick from full back Bill out on the left touchline! Don't ask!
Half time 2-0.
We abandoned our footballing togetherness in the second half, concentrating on long killer balls and the pace of Gavin to little effect. Gavin did hit bar and post. Certainly tiredness played a huge part, with many players turning out today for a very rare game, Bill (first game of the season), Mark, Ron, Phil, Martin and even Tom not regularly used to donning the black. They were somewhat more energetic than us but hardly better. They pulled a goal back from a low poke toward goal where Paul, Gomez like, allowed the ball to trickle through his legs. This time the ball definitely crossed the line. They later equalised, did Brendan contribute? Canna remember. In the last 10 minutes they looked the only winners but time caught up with us all.
Bill had a fine game at left back, intercepting well, playing astute passes and, in the first half, proving highly effective with his throw-ins.
It was off to that fine theatre of drink the British Legion in which we were pleasantly surprised by the cordial welcome. There were people in there I thought had died! And Phil there wasn't an inbred in sight. All the opposition showed and a merry hour was spent watching Liverpool slaughter Newcastle. They have Sky. Who needs a Station? A fine assortment of sandwiches prepared and provided by Nicky Boyle went down well.
A word of thanks to Alistair for refereeing with his arm in plaster, courtesy of his fiddling in the mechanism of his car's automatic window. He really should try Jeff Jackson and save his savoir faire for the operating theatre. Hertfordshire is now an anaesthetist short in these austere times, but we have gained a ref.
I collapsed at home to nurse my broken rib and awakened to the glorious sight of our famed black kit drying in the breeze. All dried and ready for next week's home game v Walkern by 5pm. Thank you Maggie I didn't know you cared.

Walkern 2 Knobs 0

Ron is back, albeit temporarily. Had a game yesterday, bit rusty, but felt there was life in the old dog yet- just! Coincided with the end of our unbeaten run. Yet all those there will admit we missed a netful of chances to their couple. We were incompetent, unlucky, defeated by a commanding keeper and at times the woodwork, but the opportunities were there. Thought it was just a matter of time! It was a fairly hot morning, hence the match was played at a slothful pace, which perhaps suited them more than us. The pitch was very hard and bumpy which mitigated against those on our side who can run a bit with the ball. Other excuses/reasons? Well they had 5 subs, we had one. Does that count as an asset? Gavin kept goal in first half and was beaten only by a penalty, clumsily given away by Darren- Eboue later on v Liverpool? Ron kept goal second half. They scored a header late on, Tony would have handled it but it was left to Chris to try and head it out from under the bar, lacking the necessary giraffe anatomical parts, he failed- just. Nowt much more to say. They had an amusing two man wall in the second a six foot defender linking arms with a four foot winger -you don't often see that. Mind you don't often see Del Boy's Uncle Albert doing his shopping in Stevenage. But those of us who bothered to show at the pub (excellent Guinness) were treated to just such a sight! Much ageist mirth ensued- it depressed me a bit, don't think I'll be showing me face in public in the coming years. My chauffeur drove me home. No game next Sunday- Happy Easter and have a terrific wedding day on the 29th. Love Ron x

Knobs 2 Standon & Puckeridge 2

A beautiful sunny morning and the last game on our main home pitch for a while. This was the first game where our potential new management team, those bad boys Dave Jordan and Twiggy, took charge. Looking around the changing room it was clear some hard decisions were needed as we had six full-backs, four centre-backs and not much else. We needed someone to play all over the park and there was only one person saying ‘I’m your man’ and that was Darren A. What a sterling performance he put in throughout the match in at least four different positions. I even hear he cooked Trevor’s bacon sandwich!

From the kick-off, it was clear that it was going to be hard fought game. Their guys were big and strong but on the whole very fair as well. It was an enjoyable game to play in. The first chance of the game came with a ball over the top that Gavin ran on to but the keeper tipped it passed the post. From the following corner, Bully whipped in a lovely cross (as he did all afternoon) and their centre defender nearly scored but the keeper saved well. They went ahead from a free kick. The ball was punted in and Trevor (distracted by the fried bacon smells coming from the pavilion) failed to hold it and one of their forwards pounced and stuck it home. 1-0. It wasn’t long before the substitutions kicked in. Wise given the weather and soon Mark Mills (who hadn’t been since last Christmas) was making his way back home to prepare for his afternoon’s round of golf. John Boyle shed a tear as the £2.50 disappeared into the distance. After battling away, we were soon level. It started after John had cleared off the line. Then there was a lovely ball over the top from Darren A, which saw Gavin streak past their left back. Alistair cried out ‘Come on young gun, go for it’ and he duly did as he dispatched it with aplomb. 1-1. Soon though Standon got their noses in front again after an excellent finish from their centre forward. Top corner stuff. There was some dispute whether it had gone in but Ron (who again refereed with great distinction) was in no doubt. The goal stood. 2-1 and that is how it would end at half-time. Chris G gave us a team talk and we all agreed that we were playing quite well but we just had to press a bit more despite the searing heat.

In the second half, for some reason Standon seemed to drop off a bit deeper. This gave us the initiative, despite them bringing on their man mountain up front. When we play football on the ground, we show we can play really well. It’s just those odd sixty minutes in a game where we forget that, that lets us down. And it was the same in this game. There were spells when we strung some beautiful passes together and we advanced. Having said that, we rarely troubled their keeper, despite some shots by Chris Wilson and the odd goal mouth scramble coming from corners where Dave dominated in the end. John Boyle was unlucky not to connect with a diving header from a left wing cross. We finally got the equaliser though, again from a different corner. Apparently Darren and Dave were on hand from a cross by John to assist the ball in to the area, where Gavin found himself with the freedom of the penalty area and volleyed the ball home. 2-2. For a while it did look like we weren’t going to get the equaliser but sometimes you just need a little bit of faith.

And that was it really. We all had a good run out. Brendan, Paul and Twiggy all had a good go down the left flank and it was interesting to see Bully play the last ten minutes up front. There is a potential strategy for the future there as he has the skills to hold it up, flick it on and turn the ball round the corners for the other centre forward to run on to. Just a thought. One for the AGM maybe. Both Chris’ were very good as always, showing excellent energy and enthusiasm throughout and there you go. All team players mentioned in the blog as always.

Down the pub we enjoyed a swift pint before heading off into the glorious sunshine. Our good run continues and hopefully we can beat Walkern next week. Always a tough fixture but remember - ‘winners never quit and quitters never win!’

Knobs 4 Shephall Old Boys 1

On a glorious sunny Sunday morning, we had our final league game of the season. Both teams had shown late season form and came into the game with a 5 game unbeaten streak but luckily for us, by the end of the game, it was we who marched on triumphantly.

We lost the toss and started the game kicking downhill. From the very start we showed good attacking intent. Lots of movement meant that soon chances were coming. Darren H missed an absolute sitter early doors but it wouldn’t be the last for the team….there were plenty to come. Ron got the away team on his side after 5 minutes by awarding a goal and then not awarding it, with the ball having nearly crossed the line but not quite. It was a close call but certainly no goal. Ron had obviously got the morning jitters having seen that Paul was our goalkeeper for the game. Gavin missed a one-on-one with the keeper (it was well saved) and Andy also had a nicely angled drive gathered in by the keeper. We had quite a few chances in the first 20 minutes and then it went a bit peary. I think it was when John Boyle came on. By half-time it was 0-0 and so in the 2nd half there was everything to play for.

Dave used all his motivational skills at half-time to keep us focused and Chairman Al made the substitutions. Make way Bully, the touchline needs you.

In the 2nd half, Shephall came storming out of the blocks and they had a couple of chances without Paul looking too worried. And then suddenly we were 1-0 down. John Boyle had a Tony ‘chicken’ moment and parried the ball in the penalty area with his elbows. Penalty cried Ron and it was duly dispatched. At that point, no one in the team was taking responsibility. We needed leadership. Someone to get a grip on the game. It didn’t really happen but Darren A did nail one of their players which effectively reduced them to 10 men for the rest of the game. Our way back in to the match was with a penalty. Handball again. Bully came on for the injured Richard and duly dispatched the penalty. More chances went begging…Andy hit the cross bar, Gavin hit the cross bar…as the old man on the side said ‘Rubbish!’ and yes indeed it was until finally, Gavin finally dispatched one into the corner after a lovely through ball by Andy. Our third came from a Bully corner where Andy flicked on and after a mild melee, Gavin pounced and tucked it away like a ‘fox in the box’. By this stage, we had flowered. When people had the ball there was suddenly plenty of options. As Ron remarked to Bully ‘…everybody wants the ball now!’ – highlighting the fact that many went missing during that first 20 minutes of the 2nd half. The final goal came from another bit of fine inter-play from the front men. A one-two in the box saw the keeper eventually save well from Gavin but Andy put away the resulting rebound. What a partnership…up there with Crockett and Tubbs, Shearer and Sheringham, Laurel and Hardy…maybe even Clegg and Cameron. Little bit of politics there. Oh, I should say that Chris Wilson had an excellent game at the back, marshalling quite a strong forward and he showed his usual determination throughout. Tony, Al and Brendan were solid at the back and Dave puffed beautifully throughout. Yet again, Ron had a marvellous match as referee.

A good natured game…not sure what happened at the pub. I’m sure it was all good fun but for some of us, it was the Knebworth House Free Day for all Knebworth citizens…so we had to rush. I managed to bore Darren A’s kids to tears up there. Ho-hum.

Well done all. Let’s look forward to starting our league campaign next year the way we ended it this year.

Knobs 3 Harpenden Rovers 1

A friendly was arranged but the availability was poor- John was left floundering and cynical.
Nevertheless we took the field with 11, with Darren due to leave the fray on the hour. Ron ref but no linesmen.
Pitch a tad bumpy and challenged both sides ability to get the ball down and play a bit of passing football. We all welcomed Matty back to the fold, many happy returns, we need him.
They almost scored within five minutes when Tim was clear through but skied his shot into the locked tennis courts. Thereafter we were forced to play with the rather light and flimsy oomegoolie ball. Not an easy task on such a bouncy pitch.
I thought it was an interesting, friendly run out for both sides, though a touch on the slow side and rather too open but most of the players thought it was the shittiest game ever. What do I know?
They took the lead when a punt down the middle was tended by a retreating Tony and an advancing Trevor. Tony shouted keeper but Trevor kept repeating "away" but Tony showing his deafer side took this to mean get out the way and by the time you could say "fucking hell" in Serbo- Croat, they'd both overun the ball to leave our ex player Kelwyn the arduous task of tapping into an empty goal.
Before the red blushes had cooled from faces, we were level. Darren advanced, disdainfully ignoring entreaties for a pass from Steve, before finding Matt on the right of goal. Matt steadied himself before unleashing an unstoppable rocket from the narrowest of angles. How good did that look!
We bumped on till half time 1-1.
Second half we sort of came out, kicking uphill, but they were nowhere to be seen (metaphorically speaking). Advantage of our plentiful possession led to two further goals. Our second a scrimmage - a poke from Steve, a swish from Chris Cox and a squeeze from the goalie saw the ball arrive on the goal line into the hands of the full back. Penalty! No they sportingly acceded a goal , the ball was over the line when caught.
Shortly afterwards, Phil enjoying more playable possession from left back hoisted over a high cross which floated into the top corner.
Darren went home and we played to the end with players injured and hobbling all over the place, John with a gluteus max. strain, Matt tight hamstring, Chris Cox dead leg and Phil knackered.
Matt had a terrific cross tipped onto and over the bar by the keeper and Trevor saved expertly from a long lob from Kelwyn. Chris Wilson played well. Tommy never got on but his day will come.
The number of throw ins in that game , ball out of play must have accounted for half an hour! We must invest in a ball that returns itself.
Pleasant pop in pub. See you home to Shephall, last league game, next Sunday.

Knobs 2 Goldings Grandads and young ‘uns 1

What a feisty encounter! And it had all started so well. Nets and goals were up before we even got in to the changing room. This new management team…it’s a different gravy. Even the shirts were hanging on the wall!

The game kicked off (after a discussion about league rules) in what can only be described as miserable conditions. We had a new goalie in the first half. Step forward Dave Jordan. He knows how to give. And take based on a tackle in the second half. Doggy is his favourite. Anyway, it was a competitive game with a few chances at both ends. On a tricky pitch, there was some nice inter-linking play between Mike, Andy and Gavin but unfortunately no outcome. Richard battled hard in the 1st half in the centre of midfield but for some reason they seemed to have the edge. They were just bigger and stronger in that first half. Their goal came from a corner, where the ball managed to squeeze past Alistair at the near post and their striker chested it in. Dave at some point tipped a shot on to the post but before half time we were level thanks to a wonderful strike from Andy on an angle. It nearly burst the net. Like ‘Hot Shot’ Hamish.

At half-time, a discussion was had about tactics and soon Dave was out on pitch and Gavin was put in goal. A clean sheet was to come. Chris Cox had also come on to the field for the unlucky Mike. We seemed to be stronger in the second half. Got more in to them and harassed them somewhat. John Boyle showed his battling qualities and the right side combo of him and Darren looked particularly solid. Chris and Tony were also playing a much higher line which seemed to help enormously with defensive stability. Bully was also coming into his own with some nice turns and touches and it was from his curling free-kick that saw us get the 2nd goal. The keeper could only parry it out to Andy who happily tucked it away like the fox in the box that he is. That was his eighth goal in the league. Impressive stuff considering the number of games he has played.

After that, it all got a bit tense. Ron managed a difficult 2nd half very well. There was a bit of time wasting going on, a few tough tackles, some foul language…it was as if we were playing Sandy! With around 10 minutes to go, Grandad finally lost it and shoved Dave in the back. Fisticuffs looked on the cards with Tony having a Usain Bolt moment in supporting Dave…clearly he is trying to impress the new management team so he won’t get locked in the changing rooms again. A sending off occurred. A rare moment in a Vet’s game but afterwards in the pub it was all hunky dory. Ooo…I nearly forgot to mention Alistair’s rugby tackle with the young lad. A marvellous sight to behold. That’s what you want to see from your leaders. Grit, determination and some suspected broken ribs. It is obvious that we should all be thankful for our week off before we play our last league game.

Well done everyone. A tight game but as Brad Gilbert says, sometimes you have to win ugly and yesterday, we did that.

Knobs 3 Old Minchendenians 1 - Report by Gavin Simpson

If the league season had started in January, we would be top of the league by now. What a run we are on. 3 more points in the bag and a beautiful game to watch. I say that with all seriousness. All those who were substituted couldn’t believe the standard of play on the pitch!

After a delayed start, it was clear that we were going to be the dominant team throughout this contest. They had a couple of decent players but overall, we looked fitter, stronger and more skilful. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t have been 1-0 down, after Ron had denied the Old Minchendians what looked like a clear penalty as Tony parried away a shot/cross with his hands. As the lino Brendan said ‘He does it so often now, it’s not worth flagging.’ – I’m sure they would agree.

It was a game of bobbly balls and missed chances and at half-time it was 0-0. A stirring speech by Chris meant that we came out in the 2nd half with renewed vigour. Alistair (acting manager) was using his roll-on/roll-off subs system as a motivational tool. You were told that you had 15 minutes to do something before you were hauled off. This inspired the players on the pitch. And Dave Jordan on the sidelines.

The first goal was controversial. After Bully crossed in a corner, a shot came in and one of their defenders parried the shot much like Tony had done in the first half. Ron called penalty. They were up in arms. And that was the problem in the first place. Ho! Ho! Bully stepped up and rattled it home. The second was a nice-ish goal. Richard held the ball up well and played it off to Bully who played a lovely ball through for Gavin to chase. It was 50/50 with the keeper and as the ball bounced up, Gavin hooked it back in to the box for Darren A to score from close range. His first goal in the league. A lovely moment. The third goal was another through ball by Bully (I think or it might have been Richard or Chris W.) and Gavin raced on to it and slotted it through the keepers legs. 3-0. Game over. Or so we thought.

We looked quite solid throughout the game. Chris Wilson was having an excellent game in midfield and Tony and Chris looked yet again very stable at the back. I have to admit, after the third goal I didn’t see much more of the game but I was reliably informed that Old Minchendians could have easily come back in to it, by Chris Wilson, who by that time had been rolled off. Was it no surprise that they scored with Chris and Tony off the pitch? Maybe but maybe not. We might have thought the game was won. I think we created a couple more chances. Mike was unlucky, just putting one past the post. And that was it. Oh…RON HAD A MARVELLOUS GAME AS REFEREE.

As the league games are about to end, here is some information:

Top League goal scorers – Andy Castle (6), Gavin Simpson (4), Steve Bull (3) and John Boyle (3)

Wilbury 2 Knobs 2

The unbeaten run continues. An exciting game, fairly played on a dull and cold February noon.
First pitch too wet, second pitch too lumpy, the third pitch just right and little Goldilocks blew her whistle and the diddy men were off and running. Alistair expected a modicum of respect to be shown to the female referee but then went a little apoplectic when she played in the same colours as us. His entreaties for her to change her shirt went unheeded, she wasn't getting them off for these lads. After Steve's accurate pass to her feet she deigned to put on a green top after 15 minutes and on we went again.
Paul performed heroically in goal if somewhat in unorthodox style. A poor goalkick straight to their man was lobbed back in with aplomb. 1-0 down. Immdeiately we hit back but Mike "I was stuck in the mud" failed to react to a goalline chance. In fairness it came to him sharply.
They missed a couple before halftime as we enjoyed donating them the ball from the back. Our play lacked a certain reassurance and a distinct frustration was setting in when John Boyle replaced rusty Ron on the left. Could Darren have scored in a six yard box scrimmage and could he have laid it back to the hovering and screaming Chris Wilson? Dunno but he didn't. Someone had a header blocked on the line- own up if you want credit.
Second half Brendan replaced John Twigg and proceeded to have a blinder. Made every tackle, every interception, passed accurately and got forward to telling effect. Chris Cox was in the wide awake club hurling himself round in the mud and things weere looking better, though they continued to look dangerous. Steve Bull was enjoying some possession and was passing well and he set John Boyle away on the left, he found Chris C. making a diagonal run- he swivelled and netted well. 1-1. This is where age lets me down did we take the lead or them? A canna remember! I think it was us but it could have been them.....I think it was them but it could have been us.... I think... anyway both teams scored. Our goal came from a fortuitous penalty so I was told- I was in Wenger mode. Steve hit an unstoppable beauty. Another poor clearance fell straight to their forward who lobbed home unstoppably from 25 yards. We had a perfectly legitimate goal disallowed for offside when Mike put in John who missed but the ball fellfrom two of their players into Brendan's path- he was behind the ball- and he scored. Had to be a goal!
Then we should have got a third when Brendan again hurtled through the middle and was in on goal before being felled by a desperate hack from behind. Adjudged to have been an inch outside the area. The ensuing free kick from Steve from 45 or 20 yards- ask around- hit the bar with the goalie static. Nae luck as they hacked clear.
I enjoyed being linesman and was kept warm flagging their centreforward offside the entire second half. In 50 years plus I've never seen anyone so inept at staying onside, was he blind or finding the gravitational magnetic pull of the goalposts impossible to counteract? Almost our best player second half so many of their attacks did he spoil.
After a refreshing freezing shower and several circuits of an estate we arrived at the Pelican public house where all the beer was chilled but there was a hot beef stew-did anyone not vegetarian survive?
No game next Sunday due to demise of Birchanger but perhaps Steve or Tony might arrange a Hatfield game.
Am away.
Ron