Knobs 2 Old Owens 1 – Tales from the dressing room

A lovely warm sunny morning and I was looking forward to my league debut for the Knobs and it was great to get the nod from the manager to start the game. I heard that Old Owens usually struggle to get a team together but for this game they had 4 subs.

It was a fairly evenly matched first half though on the break we were always dangerous especially with the pace of Gavin who setup Richard for the first goal of the game. They equalised soon after when a shot was parried by Trevor and their striker was first to react to slot home.

After the first half I was a little disappointed to be told that I was going to be taken off and so I followed the manager to the dressing room to have my say. Things were working up inside me so I thought it best to go to the toilet first in case things got messy. I finished my business and opened the toilet door to get down to the serious business only to find that the manager was gone, the lights were off and the changing room door was locked.

The second half seemed to go on forever, I turned the lights on and thought about having a shower only to realise that my kit bag was pitch side. A rummage hear and a rummage there produced nothing decent apart from a large black dildo in Debbie’s bag. I put the bin on my head, dildo up my arse and went for a ride on Brendan’s bike. Finished the half with a quick five knuckle into the manager’s sock.

Then finally after what seemed like an eternity I heard a key turn in the lock and the changing room door opened. I shuffled past the manager to get my bag without saying a word. Complete arse or very clever I don’t know but I've learnt a valuable lesson!

I heard later that Chris Wilson got the winner and we won 2-1 so 3 points in the bag.

T