Where was I before a shave, makes you feel less end of the worldish pinioned as you are at the end of a razor blade, a crap and a shoeshine.
A struggling victory- aftermath of festive season? No that was the Old Owens game which we won 3-0. Chopping and changing personnel (16 of us) well even the first 25 minutes, pre- the first of the 'all-off mind the step' exchanges, we were terrible. Even I was terrible, plodding round with me tin whistle and me birro paper with endless permutations as to how 16 went into 90 with equal shares for all, so much so that I kept forgeetin I wa supposed to be reffing. Not that that made a great deal of difference, a shepherd's crook and wor dog would have been more suitable- "over here, stand there, tackle that , kick this and don't piss against that bush".
Anyway we won. Also a little known fact. John Boyle aged 40 going on 41, the day of Spurs attendance at Wembley next month, scored the goal. Not only that, but this was the first time in those lost aeons that John had scored a winning goal in any match he'd played in! You know Vets football makes sense.
Performances: Well most, over the piece, did some things which were good and they will individually remember these glowing contributions. But surrounding the islets of goodness was the big bad ocean of mediocrity, nay crapness. Hence the word inconsistency should be aimed squarely and fairly at them.
A bumpy pitch, drying out is never conducive to slick, effortless football- it has to be worked on and overcome. These pitches come up every year at this time but folk never get used to them. Only Premier teams get all year round bowling greens- so divvint watch that stuff to improve. Ronaldo would struggle on some of the stuff we go out to graze on. Frustration sets in with each other when it is really a lack of adaptability to the playing surface which is the cause. After 10 minutes everyone starts avoiding proper achievable passing and starts to cut out the middlemen by attempting killer balls. Inevitably many of these ambitious efforts, if not all of them, go astray- result shitey play and even more indidualist efforts. Then it's aal doon hill.
Not to say there weren't moments of brightness amid the gloom, there were, but only for moments.
The goal was a relief, when John lashed in an unstoppable shot from the narrowest of angles, high into the roof of the net- does it all the time on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Palpable relief illustrated what a crap showing this was.
Not that there were not highlights and solid performances. Brendan played an excellent game, rarely a tackle missed. John Twigg was peerless and his distribution proved simple and excellent. Chris Wilson played as a relentless chain saw at the back as one would expect. Dave came on and once he'd got his sea legs it was all 'ahoy there me hearties'.
Not as much energy as one would expect by the way, all round.
I was gonna yap on about some of the negatives, with an eye for positive improvement, but am afraid some might take it the wrong way. Anyway it's two league games on the trot and this might be the be all and end all of our adventure in those parts. Keep up the morale, howay the lads yer berra than last week's performance.
Knobs summer tour to Norfolk in the offing- watch this space. May it'll be. No the month of May it'll be. Maybe.
Divvint believe ivvrything yi read aboot Wor Kev in the papers by the way- roll on August!
Rip van Whistle
Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack
Monday 28 January 2008
Knobs 1 Therfield 0
Shite, win, shag and a shoeshine.
All content except perhaps two. For the rest of my tenure I am inured to aught but football. If you play shite or you can't play do what I do in my modest way don't play- they reckon gardening and TV regarding is good in one's dotage.
How double dare they!
More to follow, JB scored.
Dumpling
All content except perhaps two. For the rest of my tenure I am inured to aught but football. If you play shite or you can't play do what I do in my modest way don't play- they reckon gardening and TV regarding is good in one's dotage.
How double dare they!
More to follow, JB scored.
Dumpling
Monday 21 January 2008
Sandy v Knobs
Postponed due to waterlogged swamp.
Newcastle game was utter crap, but what did yer expect. Only for football devotees ie people who like watching football not simply the so called best. Thought McDermott did alright though- he always does.
Newcastle game was utter crap, but what did yer expect. Only for football devotees ie people who like watching football not simply the so called best. Thought McDermott did alright though- he always does.
Monday 14 January 2008
Royston 1 Knobs 0
I don't need to put a gloss on this defeat. It was undeserved, a draw definitely a fair result and well done to all who participated on a droublie, dreich January day.
Gavin acquitted himself very well in goal, arriving as he did with flask of coffee, a most unusual piece of equipment for a goalkeeper, anywhere at any time!
I was really looking forward to playing in this game but kept myself on the sidelines throughout with only a puny linesman's flag for company. I suppose I was instrumental in their win failing to flag their bloke offside as he went on to score the game's only goal. He was onside, by a whisker, so there we are. Pity their bloke didn't reciprocate on a few occasions when less than whiskers and obvious bits of Euclidean geometry were involved but there you are. Perhaps he was blind or daft or both. Anyway I felt we missed a few chances which were well created so that errant flags and bias should , perhaps, not have been an issue. There we go, next week Sandy and a birro bias will all too evident on this particular day.
Roy, man of the match, played valiantly with a huge ugly lump on his leg- he's not available against Sandy. John played with a fat knee and at half time, the body has to be respected, was replaced by Bill who performed very creditably at right back. Dave got into some ongoing spat with some skinny shit on their side but perhaps the bloke took umbrage at Dave's visage, with two boiled eggs gone bad masquerading as cheeks. What was he on? Phil's legs took a bit of a savaging, I rushed my tracksuit off only to slowly replace it and gan back to a birro warmth.
A canny little drink, at least for me, in their steel shuttered clubhouse and then yem for another shag end of Sunday day.
Other mentions- terrific tackle by Chris Griffiths at 0-0, Matt skimmed the bar, Steve does best from deep, Dave played well despite...... , Richard did an excellent performing seal act with head and ball, superglue on the bonce?, Chris W is becoming a birrova bite-yer-legs character, I like that, these vets don't like it up em. Oh yes and Mark Mills did very well defensively.
Toodle pip
Finished.
Gavin acquitted himself very well in goal, arriving as he did with flask of coffee, a most unusual piece of equipment for a goalkeeper, anywhere at any time!
I was really looking forward to playing in this game but kept myself on the sidelines throughout with only a puny linesman's flag for company. I suppose I was instrumental in their win failing to flag their bloke offside as he went on to score the game's only goal. He was onside, by a whisker, so there we are. Pity their bloke didn't reciprocate on a few occasions when less than whiskers and obvious bits of Euclidean geometry were involved but there you are. Perhaps he was blind or daft or both. Anyway I felt we missed a few chances which were well created so that errant flags and bias should , perhaps, not have been an issue. There we go, next week Sandy and a birro bias will all too evident on this particular day.
Roy, man of the match, played valiantly with a huge ugly lump on his leg- he's not available against Sandy. John played with a fat knee and at half time, the body has to be respected, was replaced by Bill who performed very creditably at right back. Dave got into some ongoing spat with some skinny shit on their side but perhaps the bloke took umbrage at Dave's visage, with two boiled eggs gone bad masquerading as cheeks. What was he on? Phil's legs took a bit of a savaging, I rushed my tracksuit off only to slowly replace it and gan back to a birro warmth.
A canny little drink, at least for me, in their steel shuttered clubhouse and then yem for another shag end of Sunday day.
Other mentions- terrific tackle by Chris Griffiths at 0-0, Matt skimmed the bar, Steve does best from deep, Dave played well despite...... , Richard did an excellent performing seal act with head and ball, superglue on the bonce?, Chris W is becoming a birrova bite-yer-legs character, I like that, these vets don't like it up em. Oh yes and Mark Mills did very well defensively.
Toodle pip
Finished.
Monday 7 January 2008
Old Owens 0 Knobs 3
Happy New Year and winning again.
I'd been away walking the Pembrokeshire Coastal Path and didn't expect to play but on the day I did due to illness of youngsters and non availability. It was enjoyable to enter 2008 pulling on the kit alongside other enthusiasts and winning-easily- to boot.
A sluggish game, obvious reasons, together with clashing strips, they wore red we wore orange, a hellish low lying sun and a small, tight and narrow pitch which required tight, patient passing.
They hardly challenged, bar the initial enthusistic 15 minutes. Defence more than coped, Trevor up for everything poked his way, Roy, who has been ill, and looked it, played well, Chris G, Brendan and Steve were solid, which left those ahead with the task of defeating the festive blues and winning the game. Matty scored one from a tight angle, the third, and assisted in the other two- he said I should mention this, though the first thrashed into an open goal goal by Chris Wilson, should initially have been Matt's. The second was run in from the half way line and finished with aplomb by Gavin, who again gives me hope in my dotage, such a self deprecating bloke. He's got pace and energy to light up Knebworth but he's been fraternising with M. Boyle and has caught the gout. What is that ?
Steve Bull raced in to get on the end of a Matt cross yet from 4 centimetres in front of an open goal missed the ball- a bobble? I don't think so. I thought I'd mention that. Matt and Steve don't drink in January by the way- some New Age thing, John Boyle doesn't drink in January some illness thing, so cheers to you all from a man of consistency and balance.
Brendan is in Vietnam and Cambodia this week think well of him amid their equivalent of curried donkey nobs.
I was considered dirtiest player on the pitch having felled two of the opposition with the Geordie elbows (they all agreed that in the bar- I can tek it) and enjoyed a little bit of crappioso from the oppos. They could narf fackin winge, the old bastards. If yi canna tek it pack it in yi wallies. Mind you I enjoyed scything down that midfielder, he used to be so quick and creative two years ago, he's fucked now at 40. He winged a lot, I liked that.
We hit the woodwork a lot and Mark Mills took the kit.
If I've missed owt out, sorry.
Anyone want to play away to Royston and Carlos, the knacker Dan, next week get in touch, all applicants fairly considered on grounds of ability and having a car. If yi canna stand the post-festive heat gerroot thi fuckin kitchen.
Al awa thi noo for a glass o stout- on thi wagon be buggered.
Captain Ahab
I'd been away walking the Pembrokeshire Coastal Path and didn't expect to play but on the day I did due to illness of youngsters and non availability. It was enjoyable to enter 2008 pulling on the kit alongside other enthusiasts and winning-easily- to boot.
A sluggish game, obvious reasons, together with clashing strips, they wore red we wore orange, a hellish low lying sun and a small, tight and narrow pitch which required tight, patient passing.
They hardly challenged, bar the initial enthusistic 15 minutes. Defence more than coped, Trevor up for everything poked his way, Roy, who has been ill, and looked it, played well, Chris G, Brendan and Steve were solid, which left those ahead with the task of defeating the festive blues and winning the game. Matty scored one from a tight angle, the third, and assisted in the other two- he said I should mention this, though the first thrashed into an open goal goal by Chris Wilson, should initially have been Matt's. The second was run in from the half way line and finished with aplomb by Gavin, who again gives me hope in my dotage, such a self deprecating bloke. He's got pace and energy to light up Knebworth but he's been fraternising with M. Boyle and has caught the gout. What is that ?
Steve Bull raced in to get on the end of a Matt cross yet from 4 centimetres in front of an open goal missed the ball- a bobble? I don't think so. I thought I'd mention that. Matt and Steve don't drink in January by the way- some New Age thing, John Boyle doesn't drink in January some illness thing, so cheers to you all from a man of consistency and balance.
Brendan is in Vietnam and Cambodia this week think well of him amid their equivalent of curried donkey nobs.
I was considered dirtiest player on the pitch having felled two of the opposition with the Geordie elbows (they all agreed that in the bar- I can tek it) and enjoyed a little bit of crappioso from the oppos. They could narf fackin winge, the old bastards. If yi canna tek it pack it in yi wallies. Mind you I enjoyed scything down that midfielder, he used to be so quick and creative two years ago, he's fucked now at 40. He winged a lot, I liked that.
We hit the woodwork a lot and Mark Mills took the kit.
If I've missed owt out, sorry.
Anyone want to play away to Royston and Carlos, the knacker Dan, next week get in touch, all applicants fairly considered on grounds of ability and having a car. If yi canna stand the post-festive heat gerroot thi fuckin kitchen.
Al awa thi noo for a glass o stout- on thi wagon be buggered.
Captain Ahab
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