Easy game, in other words we weren't trying hard enough. Perhaps it was the pre-match preambles. "This is an easy opposition go easy on them", considering I turned out for them it was a wise strategy. Comfortable win but more than a hint that it wasn't that enjoyable. Well there was a lack of togetherness, teamwork overall methinks. Won on spasms of individuality. OK for this game!
It has to be said that Ashwell were a team of gentlemen, resplendent in their outrageous Sunderland kit. Do I look good in this? Nah I don't think so.
Anyway it was a close first half refereed by a neutral or should that be neutered Dave Jordan. Ashwell failed to score on the opportunities made and presented and Knobs went one up with probably their only salient 'attack'. Ball falls into area to feet of deadly John who nonchalently bobbles it home. The second was a bit iffy. I wasn't the only one to silently wonder about the penalty decision as Matt (another assist) was bundled over by a body that could hardly defy gravity by getting out of his way. Steve, after regaling us on his penalty prowess on Friday night, proved his point by finding the bottom corner, with perhaps even more power than usual.
Half time 2-0.
A carefully re-jigged set up in the second half saw Roy with the flag and Phil 's brother Robin on in his place. To no avail. Ashwell's passing deteriorated in the second half as tiredness set in and they were no match. Though a stupendous blocked save by Gavin prevented embarrassment.
A Gary Owen unchallenged by Mark Mills, playing for them, found its way to the edge of the area where Matt shot home unerringly via a post. A neat finish I thought. That's the way it ended.
What else can one say except next week's opposition will be a different option.
Chris W had risen from his sick bed to get drunk the previous night before turning out and playing well within himself. Steve ambled to good effect- not getting enough of the ball.
Bill the bastard couldn't resist fouling Mark Mills- Dave missed it or was it play on advantage?
John Boyle was so starved of service he declared himself bored. He had to have cheese rolls before going to the Fox- honest. Gavin was faultless in goal, handling so sure. He's up front next week mind. Richard returned- he will be back- he needs to be.
Dave was surprised at the table manners of Ashwell, excuse me was that a foul, please referee surely that's our throw in, shiver me timbers surely no pen!
At this stage of the season no doubt minds will be pondering "man of the season", I know I'm sleepless with the worry. Keep pondering. It's an open race.
Most of the oppo came to the Fox, except don't think Mark was there, no he weren't. He took some ribbing- they wont ask him back in a hurry. Are we or are we not bastards, yes I am- only fun.
Our social arrangements keep collapsing- the French tour, the Stevenage-Wembley trip, the races, the summer cricket team. Thank God for the pub crawl. I like the pub bit, it's the crawl that's a drag. That fire in the Fox was so enticing
The latest is the Quiz- innit?
Where's Dave's tenner?
Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack
Monday 30 March 2009
Monday 23 March 2009
MBDNAAAAA1 Knobs 4
A languid performance on a warm spring day culminating in the only acceptable result. Perhaps it was the mayhem at the start, who's coming, how many do they have, who's reffing, is this the world in an oyster shell? I dunno.
I thought they tried hard and competed with a couple of twenty year olds, perhaps it was the post winter baked, bouncy pitch but they shouldn't have been in the game for so long. Perhaps the pitch was our main opponent, probably. When we did attempt a passing move it resulted in a Steve cross unerringly onto the head of M. Boyle who caressed it with height and loop inside the post. Lovely. 1-1. I came off then with a complicated case of knee-fuckitis. They had led from a corner in a rare 'attack' when in a case of after you Claude politeness, the ball arrived to the the unfortunate Brendan thence into the goal. I blame Trevor and Alistair. Alistair was the one to clear and Trev's call of Alistair was therefore unecessary. That's what it seemed to me from some distance in Never Never Land.
We took a 2-1 lead from a rifled Phil shot from an astute, 'get on the end of that' pass from Steve. Matt smashed a couple more in- he should go for power next time, test those nets make sure they're up properly while he's lacing his boots.
Injuries galore, though most peope stayed the course, groins and hamstrings. I winced each time Roy approached the ball and he retired to give my fucked knee one last try out at centre half.
This was Bill's old school by the way. Why didn't he cry?
We adjourned to the Mallard an old fashioned pub where after many crisps they served us with a platter of cheeses and bits and pieces, very nice too! John Boyle is a gherkin fiend, I only got one.
Season approaching the close, lassitude abounds. A Knobs Friday night cicket team is mooted, over to you Bill.
Next week we are at home to Ashwell, who Mark assures me are a really weak though enthusiastic team. So bear that in mind when invited to partake.
I wonder if Paul has the paint off the new carpet yet? Next time get Tom to do the painting. That Tom! Watch what you say.
I thought they tried hard and competed with a couple of twenty year olds, perhaps it was the post winter baked, bouncy pitch but they shouldn't have been in the game for so long. Perhaps the pitch was our main opponent, probably. When we did attempt a passing move it resulted in a Steve cross unerringly onto the head of M. Boyle who caressed it with height and loop inside the post. Lovely. 1-1. I came off then with a complicated case of knee-fuckitis. They had led from a corner in a rare 'attack' when in a case of after you Claude politeness, the ball arrived to the the unfortunate Brendan thence into the goal. I blame Trevor and Alistair. Alistair was the one to clear and Trev's call of Alistair was therefore unecessary. That's what it seemed to me from some distance in Never Never Land.
We took a 2-1 lead from a rifled Phil shot from an astute, 'get on the end of that' pass from Steve. Matt smashed a couple more in- he should go for power next time, test those nets make sure they're up properly while he's lacing his boots.
Injuries galore, though most peope stayed the course, groins and hamstrings. I winced each time Roy approached the ball and he retired to give my fucked knee one last try out at centre half.
This was Bill's old school by the way. Why didn't he cry?
We adjourned to the Mallard an old fashioned pub where after many crisps they served us with a platter of cheeses and bits and pieces, very nice too! John Boyle is a gherkin fiend, I only got one.
Season approaching the close, lassitude abounds. A Knobs Friday night cicket team is mooted, over to you Bill.
Next week we are at home to Ashwell, who Mark assures me are a really weak though enthusiastic team. So bear that in mind when invited to partake.
I wonder if Paul has the paint off the new carpet yet? Next time get Tom to do the painting. That Tom! Watch what you say.
Sunday 15 March 2009
Knobs 4 Datchworth 0
Funny old game- thank you Greavsie- funny old game.
We had15 and Gavin watching and me reffing. They eventually had 7, we gave them 4, Gav still watched and I still reffed ....just.
Paul surely was their man of the match- in goal- nuff said.
Mark , Dave and Bill started for them - the midfield! They did well- don't you agree? We carved them to bits in the first half but partly due to a couple of smart saves from Paul and mainly due to some rather snatched finishing the half time score stood at 0-0. Can we lose this ? Surely not. Dave and Mark were replaced by two of their late arrivals Rip van Winkle and his mate Dozy the dwarf. Bill continued for 90 minutes for them and easily enough to suggest today was hardly his swan song. He yapped and dissented throughout and will play again.
Eventually in the second half after more alarming misses Mark 'beat' the offside trap and slid home. No linesmen at this moment so play on young bucks.
Paul mishit a goal kick to the half way line onto the swiping volley of Chris W, who found the net from 50 yards- top corner, quite astonishing. 2-0.
A proper goal arrived as Steve picked up a ball beat a man, steadied himself and shot home nicely from distance. One goal remained, a typical Mark cross, possibly creeping in the far post, was bravely headed home by a diving M. Boyle. A brilliant John effort but was Mark denied?
A little bit of handbags between Dave and Olly, came to nowt, expertly reffed, and the game fizzled out in the heat. Chris G tore a muscle, Roy took a bump (and a lump of his opponent, who was stifled by Roy's agonising scream). Roy does distress really well, Hollywood beckons.
Both teams attended the Fox, in the garden and Sunday drizzled to an end..........
Next MBDNABHFGRTYUI or something at Barclay School Stevenage. I play.
John T played target man very well, first half today by the way.
Love you all.
We had15 and Gavin watching and me reffing. They eventually had 7, we gave them 4, Gav still watched and I still reffed ....just.
Paul surely was their man of the match- in goal- nuff said.
Mark , Dave and Bill started for them - the midfield! They did well- don't you agree? We carved them to bits in the first half but partly due to a couple of smart saves from Paul and mainly due to some rather snatched finishing the half time score stood at 0-0. Can we lose this ? Surely not. Dave and Mark were replaced by two of their late arrivals Rip van Winkle and his mate Dozy the dwarf. Bill continued for 90 minutes for them and easily enough to suggest today was hardly his swan song. He yapped and dissented throughout and will play again.
Eventually in the second half after more alarming misses Mark 'beat' the offside trap and slid home. No linesmen at this moment so play on young bucks.
Paul mishit a goal kick to the half way line onto the swiping volley of Chris W, who found the net from 50 yards- top corner, quite astonishing. 2-0.
A proper goal arrived as Steve picked up a ball beat a man, steadied himself and shot home nicely from distance. One goal remained, a typical Mark cross, possibly creeping in the far post, was bravely headed home by a diving M. Boyle. A brilliant John effort but was Mark denied?
A little bit of handbags between Dave and Olly, came to nowt, expertly reffed, and the game fizzled out in the heat. Chris G tore a muscle, Roy took a bump (and a lump of his opponent, who was stifled by Roy's agonising scream). Roy does distress really well, Hollywood beckons.
Both teams attended the Fox, in the garden and Sunday drizzled to an end..........
Next MBDNABHFGRTYUI or something at Barclay School Stevenage. I play.
John T played target man very well, first half today by the way.
Love you all.
Monday 9 March 2009
Goldings 1 KNOBS 2 - match report by John B
This was a hard fought and deserved victory in our final league game of the season. From the 10 league games we won 7, drew 1 and lost 2 which is great but we’ll have to wait and see if it will be enough to finish top ahead of Sandy.
Ron could not make the game due to injury so gave me the starting 11 and subs on the back of his usual fag packet. Speed machine Gavin was not available so Ron chose to partner the ever young Twiggy with Matt up front. Chairman Al asked me before the game who was going to be in charge of substitutions. I pretended not to hear so the Chairman himself took on the thankless task of captain.
We had the wind against us in the first half and Goldings had a lot of possession without creating any real danger. We managed to play some decent football at times and created a couple of chances and went ahead near the end of the half when one of their players handled and Bully tucked away the penalty with his usual ease.
Captain Chairman Al decided to make changes at half time and brought on Steve H for Phil and Paul C for Twiggy. There was a bit of unrest among the natives (including me) about the decisions but the Chairman was in charge and stuck to his guns moving Dave up front to partner Matt.
The second half went along the same lines as the first with no great rhythm to the game from either side and even the wind appeared to be changing direction in Goldings favour. Midway through the half Captain Chairman Al decided that further changes needed to be made, the number 4 was raised and Big Bad Bully was off to run the line. Before Dave could even think about trying to understand the magnitude of the Chairman’s decision the number 16 was raised and he was off to play with his ball bag on the side.
Back to the game and we earned a corner. With no Big Bad Bully on the pitch I looked around thinking who was going to take the corner when Phil fresh from the sidelines stepped forward to deliver a great corner which was met by Twiggy rising above the centre halfs at the far post and powering a header past the helpless keeper. We went to congratulate him but he was off, shirt was off and finally a triple somersault, well something like that!
Bully and Dave were back on before the end and the otherwise excellent Dave managed to give away a penalty which was converted by Ron’s mate butter to leave a tense finish to the game.
Goldings had quite a bit of possession throughout the game but I felt they never really threatened even when the ref gave them a few free kicks fairly close to our penalty box near the end of the game. The game was played in a good spirit and Ron’s mate butter managed to control himself apart from the odd argument with his own teammates. Our defence was on top throughout and Matt worked tirelessly up front without much reward. Well done to all.
Some of us managed to get in the showers which were taps of scalding water but I could not face the thought of scrubbing my balls and instead helped Dave to rinse down. What team spirit and togetherness . Unusually for the Goldings away game a few of us then had the pleasure of joining them at the Golden Griffin pub where food was laid on and ale consumed.
John
Ron could not make the game due to injury so gave me the starting 11 and subs on the back of his usual fag packet. Speed machine Gavin was not available so Ron chose to partner the ever young Twiggy with Matt up front. Chairman Al asked me before the game who was going to be in charge of substitutions. I pretended not to hear so the Chairman himself took on the thankless task of captain.
We had the wind against us in the first half and Goldings had a lot of possession without creating any real danger. We managed to play some decent football at times and created a couple of chances and went ahead near the end of the half when one of their players handled and Bully tucked away the penalty with his usual ease.
Captain Chairman Al decided to make changes at half time and brought on Steve H for Phil and Paul C for Twiggy. There was a bit of unrest among the natives (including me) about the decisions but the Chairman was in charge and stuck to his guns moving Dave up front to partner Matt.
The second half went along the same lines as the first with no great rhythm to the game from either side and even the wind appeared to be changing direction in Goldings favour. Midway through the half Captain Chairman Al decided that further changes needed to be made, the number 4 was raised and Big Bad Bully was off to run the line. Before Dave could even think about trying to understand the magnitude of the Chairman’s decision the number 16 was raised and he was off to play with his ball bag on the side.
Back to the game and we earned a corner. With no Big Bad Bully on the pitch I looked around thinking who was going to take the corner when Phil fresh from the sidelines stepped forward to deliver a great corner which was met by Twiggy rising above the centre halfs at the far post and powering a header past the helpless keeper. We went to congratulate him but he was off, shirt was off and finally a triple somersault, well something like that!
Bully and Dave were back on before the end and the otherwise excellent Dave managed to give away a penalty which was converted by Ron’s mate butter to leave a tense finish to the game.
Goldings had quite a bit of possession throughout the game but I felt they never really threatened even when the ref gave them a few free kicks fairly close to our penalty box near the end of the game. The game was played in a good spirit and Ron’s mate butter managed to control himself apart from the odd argument with his own teammates. Our defence was on top throughout and Matt worked tirelessly up front without much reward. Well done to all.
Some of us managed to get in the showers which were taps of scalding water but I could not face the thought of scrubbing my balls and instead helped Dave to rinse down. What team spirit and togetherness . Unusually for the Goldings away game a few of us then had the pleasure of joining them at the Golden Griffin pub where food was laid on and ale consumed.
John
Birchanger 1 KNOBS 1 - match report by Chairman Al
It was an inauspicious start on the morning of Stevie Hammond’s home game. We already knew that the Secretary would be on his way to watch a game of a little more significance in West London. Just as in Northern Ireland, during the Troubles, people who were summoned for punishments such as ‘Knee-capping’ used to prepare for the pain by getting themselves paralytically drunk, the secretary was just embarking on his preparation for his own torture-session as we met at 9.30am. Bad luck with those penalties, John.
The manager was another casualty, having lost an argument with a Pyracantha bush the previous afternoon; he turned up with a septic finger, which he said was so painful that he would have to go to Accident and Emergency (did he – my arse!). The team-sheet was handed to the Chairman who, besides running the team, was captain for the first time.
With five senior Knobs all away skiing (I don’t think they should be allowed to go together, unless they’re injured), we scraped a team together. Kenny came out of retirement, young buck Darren was given a start, and Mark Mills plucked a goalkeeper out of thin air in the nick of time (nice effort, Millsy – but I think this confirms what I have said for years, namely that, even if we think our overall squad is big enough, we need to identify a reserve goalkeeper who can be an authentic replacement when Trevor is unavailable).
We got over to Birchanger without any mishaps or Vasey-style chundering en route, and Paul looked every inch a goalkeeper with his green top stretched tight over his pectorals. Imagine the disappointment, however, when he said that he’s really an outfield player, and he hadn’t kept goal for eight years…
The pitch was pretty good, although bobbly, and we made a good start. Steve Bull was demanding the ball in centre-field, and spraying it around effectively. We took the lead when he played a beautifully-judged through-ball to Mattie, who beat the offside trap, rounded the keeper and finished tidily.
That was the high point, however. Whilst there were good performances all over the pitch, we gradually ceded possession and territory, and played more on the break as the match continued. Roy was carrying an injury, and Chris Griffiths also looked a yard slower than usual. With our back four lying deep, there were midfield spaces for the opposition to exploit. Birchanger had several attempts on goal, but mostly off-target, and Paul didn’t have a difficult save to make: half-time 1-0.
In the second half we changed the team around. I brought Steve Hammond on for Kenny, and Steve Bull moved to play up front, with Mark Mills moving to left wing, where he appears more comfortable. I was struggling on the right wing, and brought myself off. Birchanger scored a scruffy goal, and, whilst we had some opportunities to score again, we were probably the happier team to come away with a draw.
Paul was excellent in goal, and made one first-class save towards the end of the game, when their forward was bearing down on goal: Paul spread himself, and saved with his leg. I hope that he will be available again. There were many other good performances: Steve H and Kenny were solid; Dave is back to his all-action best; Chris W was tireless, and I thought that Darren did really well, considering how few full games he has played recently. I predict that he’ll soon be a regular in our team.
Despite vowing that he never would, Dave even forgot his principles, and did a passing impression of a linesman for the last 10 minutes! Full-time 1-1.
The showers were warm – what luxury! Most of us stayed for some quality beers in their social club. The sausages were plentiful and the onion rings were great – although you would have to go a long way to find a less attractive and more grumpy barmaid….
We sped back to Knobsworth in Chris W’s sleek new speedster. As he dropped us off at the Station pub, who should appear but the manager! Had he been to A & E? Not bloody likely, of course…. His beloved Newcassle were on live, so he was using alcohol to numb the pain from his hand, and the four-hour queue at the hospital would have to wait for another day…
Ally
The manager was another casualty, having lost an argument with a Pyracantha bush the previous afternoon; he turned up with a septic finger, which he said was so painful that he would have to go to Accident and Emergency (did he – my arse!). The team-sheet was handed to the Chairman who, besides running the team, was captain for the first time.
With five senior Knobs all away skiing (I don’t think they should be allowed to go together, unless they’re injured), we scraped a team together. Kenny came out of retirement, young buck Darren was given a start, and Mark Mills plucked a goalkeeper out of thin air in the nick of time (nice effort, Millsy – but I think this confirms what I have said for years, namely that, even if we think our overall squad is big enough, we need to identify a reserve goalkeeper who can be an authentic replacement when Trevor is unavailable).
We got over to Birchanger without any mishaps or Vasey-style chundering en route, and Paul looked every inch a goalkeeper with his green top stretched tight over his pectorals. Imagine the disappointment, however, when he said that he’s really an outfield player, and he hadn’t kept goal for eight years…
The pitch was pretty good, although bobbly, and we made a good start. Steve Bull was demanding the ball in centre-field, and spraying it around effectively. We took the lead when he played a beautifully-judged through-ball to Mattie, who beat the offside trap, rounded the keeper and finished tidily.
That was the high point, however. Whilst there were good performances all over the pitch, we gradually ceded possession and territory, and played more on the break as the match continued. Roy was carrying an injury, and Chris Griffiths also looked a yard slower than usual. With our back four lying deep, there were midfield spaces for the opposition to exploit. Birchanger had several attempts on goal, but mostly off-target, and Paul didn’t have a difficult save to make: half-time 1-0.
In the second half we changed the team around. I brought Steve Hammond on for Kenny, and Steve Bull moved to play up front, with Mark Mills moving to left wing, where he appears more comfortable. I was struggling on the right wing, and brought myself off. Birchanger scored a scruffy goal, and, whilst we had some opportunities to score again, we were probably the happier team to come away with a draw.
Paul was excellent in goal, and made one first-class save towards the end of the game, when their forward was bearing down on goal: Paul spread himself, and saved with his leg. I hope that he will be available again. There were many other good performances: Steve H and Kenny were solid; Dave is back to his all-action best; Chris W was tireless, and I thought that Darren did really well, considering how few full games he has played recently. I predict that he’ll soon be a regular in our team.
Despite vowing that he never would, Dave even forgot his principles, and did a passing impression of a linesman for the last 10 minutes! Full-time 1-1.
The showers were warm – what luxury! Most of us stayed for some quality beers in their social club. The sausages were plentiful and the onion rings were great – although you would have to go a long way to find a less attractive and more grumpy barmaid….
We sped back to Knobsworth in Chris W’s sleek new speedster. As he dropped us off at the Station pub, who should appear but the manager! Had he been to A & E? Not bloody likely, of course…. His beloved Newcassle were on live, so he was using alcohol to numb the pain from his hand, and the four-hour queue at the hospital would have to wait for another day…
Ally
Monday 2 March 2009
Birchanger 1 KNOBS 1 - match report from Birchanger
After all the interruptions for bad weather, this was the third week running Birchanger had played, and it showed. Some good passing, terrific individual performacnes, particularly from Gary Colson, and Steve Foster in his last game for the club this season, was only let down by some wastefulness in front of goal, in fact it was like watching Arsenal at the Emirates. Birchanger came away with a draw, from a game they dominated aside from the first ten minutes, and for the second week running they could and probably should have won.
Knebworth were the quicker out of the blocks, looked the more dangerous in the opening exchanges and were ahead on ten minutes. A ball over the top put through a pacy striker, while the Birchanger defence claimed offisde. The flag stayed down, and keeper Kev Robserson was beaten on the 18 yard line, and Knebworth slid home the opener to lead 1-0.
Birchanger almost replied immediately when Mark Booker struck a screamer from the outside of the box, but his effort was always rising, and flew over. It was Mark Booker who had the home side's best chances, mostly with his head, one from a dangerous inswinging corner which just went wide, and another he took off Steve Luxford's head, when Luxford may have been better positioned. The home side continued to press without reward, but didn't allow their heads to drop and were very unlucky to go in at half time behind.
Andy Gilbey was replaced at the break and made his way to Wembley, hoping Spurs had a better idea where the goal was than Birchanger. He was to miss more of the same, as Kev Roberson became a virtual spectator, and the visitor's camped in their own half.
At last the home side got some reward, when an intricate move involving Ian Winter, Bob Beckwith and the outstanding Gary Colson found Steve Luxford in the box. His turn, and shot, beat two defenders and the keeper to draw the scores level. Birchanger should have gone on to win the match, and this time the best chances fell to Kev Booker. Firstly, when inside the 6 yard box, he went for power rather than pass the ball in, and his effort flew over the bar. Then he saw a good header fly just inches wide. More chances were to come and go, and in the end it was left to Steve "Fozzy" Foster to have the last word, when Knebworth broke into their opponents half right at the end of the game, leaving the imperious Foster to intervene with a match saving tackle.
Some long Birchanger faces were soon cheered up in the bar afterwards, when somebody should have confiscated Ricky Pearson's mobile phone to prevent him getting caught by the police on it while driving again, as he did after last weeks game!
Knebworth were the quicker out of the blocks, looked the more dangerous in the opening exchanges and were ahead on ten minutes. A ball over the top put through a pacy striker, while the Birchanger defence claimed offisde. The flag stayed down, and keeper Kev Robserson was beaten on the 18 yard line, and Knebworth slid home the opener to lead 1-0.
Birchanger almost replied immediately when Mark Booker struck a screamer from the outside of the box, but his effort was always rising, and flew over. It was Mark Booker who had the home side's best chances, mostly with his head, one from a dangerous inswinging corner which just went wide, and another he took off Steve Luxford's head, when Luxford may have been better positioned. The home side continued to press without reward, but didn't allow their heads to drop and were very unlucky to go in at half time behind.
Andy Gilbey was replaced at the break and made his way to Wembley, hoping Spurs had a better idea where the goal was than Birchanger. He was to miss more of the same, as Kev Roberson became a virtual spectator, and the visitor's camped in their own half.
At last the home side got some reward, when an intricate move involving Ian Winter, Bob Beckwith and the outstanding Gary Colson found Steve Luxford in the box. His turn, and shot, beat two defenders and the keeper to draw the scores level. Birchanger should have gone on to win the match, and this time the best chances fell to Kev Booker. Firstly, when inside the 6 yard box, he went for power rather than pass the ball in, and his effort flew over the bar. Then he saw a good header fly just inches wide. More chances were to come and go, and in the end it was left to Steve "Fozzy" Foster to have the last word, when Knebworth broke into their opponents half right at the end of the game, leaving the imperious Foster to intervene with a match saving tackle.
Some long Birchanger faces were soon cheered up in the bar afterwards, when somebody should have confiscated Ricky Pearson's mobile phone to prevent him getting caught by the police on it while driving again, as he did after last weeks game!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)