Harpenden Rovers 0 Knobs 4

Our Joint Manager looked surprisingly unaffected by his party excesses, and was determined to celebrate his major milestone by coming off the bench in this vital league match. First omens didn’t look great: Dazza and Tony C took a decidedly scenic route to Harpenden, and the rain was lashing down sideways. We were all bamboozled by the Gaelic when Jonno asked if anyone had taaaaaape (to tie his socks up).

The beginning of the match was tight, and not much happened, except that the wind was so strong that the ball spent most of the time out of play, over the right (downwind) touchline. After 10 minutes, however, a punt upfield by Tony C was flicked on to Jonno. He beat the disorganised defence, teed up the shot perfectly on his left foot – and promptly swapped feet and finished with his right. Their poor keeper had no chance. A few minutes later, Dave M produced a classy finish for another breakaway goal.

Dave K’s muscles must be outgrowing his socks, because he keeps getting sprains. It’s tough, and happens to the best, as Daniel Sturridge and Liverpool know too well. Having just recovered from the previous sprain, poor Dave K had to jog off after 15 minutes, to be ably replaced by the indomitable Chris C.

For our third, Harpenden cleared a corner. Chris C passed it back to me, the last man, on the half way line. In the blustery conditions, Dazza was convinced that I would simply hoof it upfield. When I passed it wide to him, however, he overcame the shock to slip Dave M in on goal. The keeper saved Dave’s shot, but it fell at the feet of Tony K, on the left side of the box, for a tap-in. Goodness knows why he was still up there – he was playing right full back – but he wasn’t going to miss. Our fourth was another effort by our Irish thoroughbred, who looked very dangerous every time that he got possession.

4-0 at half time! It couldn’t get any better, could it? Well, no. Unless you count a battling defensive performance, as the rain made the conditions much trickier. Dave J brightened up the second half when he brought himself on for Jonno. Dave was clearly determined to make his mark on the game - and he soon did this on their right back. It looked painful from 50 yards away. After the predictable (and childish) handbags, nobody got sent off, but it was like having Ron back – playing on the edge: a human hand grenade, liable to explode at any minute.

Dave J nearly scored, but was so upset to drag his shot tamely wide. Paul managed to hit two shots straight at their keeper when it looked easier to score – he had the strange experience of leaving the pitch at the end, having won 4-0, but feeling disappointed! Never mind, both of you, your times will come again.

Everyone played well: lots of superb running and tackling from all of the midfielders, and we were solid at the back. A special mention, however, must go to Tony C in goal – I thought that he was superb. He made some good saves; his kicking was excellent, but he made the defence’s game so much easier with good early calls and sprints off his line to clear or claim the ball. He was absolutely fearless, charging in for balls which he had no right to reach, and connecting with the ball every time. Woe betide any forward who got in his way!

After such a good result, it was a pity that only three of us made the short trip to the Carpenters Arms. I trod on a small dog on the way in (well, it did look like an untidy doormat); the ale was excellent, and Dave J, Dave K and I were noble enough to eat the sausage sandwiches on behalf of the rest of the side.

With both Joint Managers away, I will be entrusted with running the side for our next game, so mind what you write on that blog!

Best wishes to all. Chairman.

Team: Tony C; Tony K, Richard, Chairman Al, Dave K (Chris C); Paul; Dazza, Bully, Greg; Dave M, Joon (Dave J).