Comfortable as 10 men laboured against 10 on a silent, balmy October day. unnerving tranquillity- probably contributed to low energy levels of both sides and a true veterans' game ensued.
Scoring- Phil smashes home a 25 yd left footer before they equalise with a speculative high one- too high for pygmy boy. Second half Carl's spilled shot was gobbled up by Richard following in, quickly followed by a Chris Wilson effort. Late on Therfield found three men unmarked on the far post- loitering there from a move which broke down some five hours earlier- one of them picked his spot.
We missed loads- some good saves- some shots just wide and some only-the goalie to beat. Stand up John T and stand up that late arrival Mark -the- canary, but to us, the- camel- Mills. Eh lad but yer a rusty camel- yer need a good fuckin oiling.
Mark, having misread 3 e-mails, turned up toward end of first half. (Discussion on non received e- mails ensues- they nearly score). "How many have we got?" "10, get changed" (Discussion on viral complaint that has laid him low these past days- they attack again). "Mark I'm trying to create a passable impression of playing in goal, go and get changed if yer up to playing".
Half time comes and goes, comes and goes, comes and goes, the weather continues balmy, Mark is somewhere, we change ends for so is the custom...zzzzzzzz!
Ten minutes into second half Mark arrives, resplendent in orange, rarin' to go!
"Have yer got any shinpads?" "Nah a dinna use them n if a had ad be wearin them"
"Have yer got any shinpads?" We defend a corner successfully. "Nah play without them".
"Chris have yer got any shinpads?". Phil queries whether we are getting an eleventh man. "In probability no, but yer never can tell- can yer function with a camel?"
5 minutes later, possibly an aeon, "is the dressing room open?", for it is he! "How div a knaa if the dressin room's open am tryin to play in goal ower here". "Have you got the key?"
Silence, they nearly score. "Hev a got the key?- what's gannin on here?"
Some time later a think al try summat clivvor, dribble the baal oot and pass it. First part accomplished but just as I was ganna pass to the left, a sudden realisation that the recipient of the pass was fully clad on the line but not yet part of play- fuckin hell it's the Marie Celeste at starboard, a change of tack, give the ball away in shock, they nearly score. As Therfield said the eleventh man was very influential. Mark then came on with 20 minutes left and what a sight, he had nae shinpads but he had a pair of ferrets stuffed doon each sock. Didn't help him though they had nae bite.
MARK ARE YOU AVAILABLE SUNDAY AT HOME- OCTOBER 14-10.30 KO? Your turn for the kit.
An aside , hey they had some big lads playing. Nah am mean some really big big lads. Chris took some gettin roond that centre forward. Navigational aids nivvor shin pads were the requisite equipment. Therfield water supply?
Next week Mark and 10 others will take on the might of the Old Pretenders in a friendly.
Half man half biscuit and three quarters bactrian at your service.
Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack
Monday, 8 October 2007
Tuesday, 2 October 2007
Goldcheats 1 Knobs 1
A reasonable result, tight at the back passage and busty up front but we still scored. Missed a few mind, a penchant for the pretty, over passing and good chances surprisingly missed? They had a bit of energy but were effectively dealt with (a kin see wye they play vets footbaal their lair o youngins, naebody their oun age wid give thim a gyem. Tek awa their bit o runnin and thi heavy breathin n thir emasculated. Fackin yapless).
Matt scored put through by a sumptious Bully through ball. Everyone contributed and kept going to the end, in John B's and AN Other's case that consisted of leaving the Station Hotel by 6.30, having imbibed a few with us merry band of few at 3 Horse Shoes on way yem. John is disciplined and dropped for this week, the early pub beckons.
(Didn't the other bonny lads dae well? Beaten 3-1 by a bunch of forriners, coming ower here and tekkin wi jobs an wi wimmin, what's things comin tae. Did a see them? Hadaway ti hell, thi buggers didnt come to see me when a wiz sick. Ah the glory days of 1969 are still fresh in me mind - we won the Inter City (ounly us in it?) nah Inter Cities Fairs Cup- ah was at the second leg at St James'- a think? nah a tell a lie a was, a was there with a bonny Geordie lass caaled Ann Hope. Moncur was captain- he was hopeless a thought, wot does anyone else think?)
Next week Therfield away, fairish team, friendly, good pub for grub afterwards.
Di yi think Friday's bondage session went aal reet? A bit disappointing a thoght cos the ounly whip a saw was the one I was carrying all neet in a pormanent vigil at the bar. A good turnout- next one is a Knebworth treasure hunt, "find a pub." December date to be announced.
Lash Larue
PS we cares who friggin scored for Goldnobs!
Matt scored put through by a sumptious Bully through ball. Everyone contributed and kept going to the end, in John B's and AN Other's case that consisted of leaving the Station Hotel by 6.30, having imbibed a few with us merry band of few at 3 Horse Shoes on way yem. John is disciplined and dropped for this week, the early pub beckons.
(Didn't the other bonny lads dae well? Beaten 3-1 by a bunch of forriners, coming ower here and tekkin wi jobs an wi wimmin, what's things comin tae. Did a see them? Hadaway ti hell, thi buggers didnt come to see me when a wiz sick. Ah the glory days of 1969 are still fresh in me mind - we won the Inter City (ounly us in it?) nah Inter Cities Fairs Cup- ah was at the second leg at St James'- a think? nah a tell a lie a was, a was there with a bonny Geordie lass caaled Ann Hope. Moncur was captain- he was hopeless a thought, wot does anyone else think?)
Next week Therfield away, fairish team, friendly, good pub for grub afterwards.
Di yi think Friday's bondage session went aal reet? A bit disappointing a thoght cos the ounly whip a saw was the one I was carrying all neet in a pormanent vigil at the bar. A good turnout- next one is a Knebworth treasure hunt, "find a pub." December date to be announced.
Lash Larue
PS we cares who friggin scored for Goldnobs!
Monday, 1 October 2007
league: for information
e-mail sent to league bloke at st albans today.
No point going to 40 + just keep it at traditional vets level, 35+!
Goldings had many 20 year olds! The son of one of their players is the 24 year old son of their ref, who was recently going out with our centre half's daughter, the son that is !
As for not being able to recruit older players, we used to beat Goldings fairly comfortably yet since this league started they've mysteriously morphed into a very young side- Bob doesn't play nor does the ref anymore, and several of us are older than them.
Also they had several subs which meant two or three who were on the side at any one time were true vets with the ringers on the field. We had 1 sub- all our players were vets and we feel that their vets should have been on the field matching their skills and longevity against us.If someone was suffering from some near fatal injury then and only then should a youngster come on and replace them.
When the vets league was mooted I would have thought all those who put themselves forward were vets' teams- no point an under 21- club putting themselves forward I would have thought! The league gets started and suddenly youth is all the rage- Ware have told me that Sandy have used that 19 year old for the second year running- yes he apparently scored another hattrick against poor old Ware! We do not accept puny excuses and ultimately cheating and will continue to fulfil our fixtures this season but despite your obvious hard work and organising we won't be continuing next season. What must be acknowledged is yes it's only a game- well then 'friendlies' are quite suitable, but for some reason in competitive situations when youngsters are turning on their arrogance alongside their definite superiority in physiques, energy and running ability nasty retaliations become highly possible- re our game with St Helens last season, who by the way continue to be far from being a vets team. Sorry to be harbinger of crap tidings but there we are, we are a vets side who wish to test our diminishing skills and memory banks among our peers.
Personally, I recognise there has to be a vets cut off point be it 35 or 33 or 43 but it is universally recognised as 35 so why don't people just stick to it, what's the glory or enjoyment in winning, drawing or even losing with your team packed with youngsters? Ultimately it's unfair, it's cheating.
Ron
No point going to 40 + just keep it at traditional vets level, 35+!
Goldings had many 20 year olds! The son of one of their players is the 24 year old son of their ref, who was recently going out with our centre half's daughter, the son that is !
As for not being able to recruit older players, we used to beat Goldings fairly comfortably yet since this league started they've mysteriously morphed into a very young side- Bob doesn't play nor does the ref anymore, and several of us are older than them.
Also they had several subs which meant two or three who were on the side at any one time were true vets with the ringers on the field. We had 1 sub- all our players were vets and we feel that their vets should have been on the field matching their skills and longevity against us.If someone was suffering from some near fatal injury then and only then should a youngster come on and replace them.
When the vets league was mooted I would have thought all those who put themselves forward were vets' teams- no point an under 21- club putting themselves forward I would have thought! The league gets started and suddenly youth is all the rage- Ware have told me that Sandy have used that 19 year old for the second year running- yes he apparently scored another hattrick against poor old Ware! We do not accept puny excuses and ultimately cheating and will continue to fulfil our fixtures this season but despite your obvious hard work and organising we won't be continuing next season. What must be acknowledged is yes it's only a game- well then 'friendlies' are quite suitable, but for some reason in competitive situations when youngsters are turning on their arrogance alongside their definite superiority in physiques, energy and running ability nasty retaliations become highly possible- re our game with St Helens last season, who by the way continue to be far from being a vets team. Sorry to be harbinger of crap tidings but there we are, we are a vets side who wish to test our diminishing skills and memory banks among our peers.
Personally, I recognise there has to be a vets cut off point be it 35 or 33 or 43 but it is universally recognised as 35 so why don't people just stick to it, what's the glory or enjoyment in winning, drawing or even losing with your team packed with youngsters? Ultimately it's unfair, it's cheating.
Ron
Tuesday, 25 September 2007
Knobs 2 Sandy 3
All who participated could not believe we got nowt from this game. Still it was competitive without being nasty and most players, including theirs, descended on The Station afterwards,where true connoisseurs of the round ball game witnessed the demolition of West Ham by the bonny lads in black and white. I digress, back to the league game where we were ahead twice through sumptious Gavin strikes, especially the first, only to be pegged back by two less than glorious goals before they notched their winner from the penalty spot. All in all, all very unfortunate, we ran them close and they weren't their usual cocky selves.
A lovely cross headed in unerringly by Richard was chalked off by Carl's flag and my reffing- very close! Sandy didn't complain about our officiating then but did they go ballistic when I gave our second goal, in my view legitimately, shortly afterwards. "Cheats, cunts "...and the usual boring litany that passes for democratic comment on a football pitch. Their linesman wasn't even watching, was miles behind the play and only flagged in obedience to his masters' voices well after the ball was in the net. Thinking back, I know I was right to give a goal for several reasons, not the least being the ref's decision is final, yer tek the rough wi thi smooth and gerron wi life or in this case the game. Wait till we play with their qualified ref yill get nowt.
Well played lads, I can only say that mistakes have cost us these past couple of games but some of the football has been brisk, compact and imaginative. Next week it's Goldings, who will probably win the league and can be nasty. Last season's closing match saw us deny them the title with a fine 3-0 win, a match which culminated in the near fatal strangulation of Trevor and the nutting of Bill (our ref). An interesting morning following on from Friday's bondage session seems guaranteed.
Oh a forgot "Howay the lads" - latest score Arsenal 0 The Lads 0
ron
A lovely cross headed in unerringly by Richard was chalked off by Carl's flag and my reffing- very close! Sandy didn't complain about our officiating then but did they go ballistic when I gave our second goal, in my view legitimately, shortly afterwards. "Cheats, cunts "...and the usual boring litany that passes for democratic comment on a football pitch. Their linesman wasn't even watching, was miles behind the play and only flagged in obedience to his masters' voices well after the ball was in the net. Thinking back, I know I was right to give a goal for several reasons, not the least being the ref's decision is final, yer tek the rough wi thi smooth and gerron wi life or in this case the game. Wait till we play with their qualified ref yill get nowt.
Well played lads, I can only say that mistakes have cost us these past couple of games but some of the football has been brisk, compact and imaginative. Next week it's Goldings, who will probably win the league and can be nasty. Last season's closing match saw us deny them the title with a fine 3-0 win, a match which culminated in the near fatal strangulation of Trevor and the nutting of Bill (our ref). An interesting morning following on from Friday's bondage session seems guaranteed.
Oh a forgot "Howay the lads" - latest score Arsenal 0 The Lads 0
ron
Monday, 17 September 2007
Monday, 10 September 2007
Knobs 2 St Helens 3
They beat us. THEY beat US! I still cannot take it in. The hoofing and booting side, all energy and mouth beat us. Despite loosing the valuable assets of Martin and Richard overnight, we still should be capable of outwitting such a side as theirs! But we didn't. So we go on to the next game v Sandy at home in the league next week, c'est la vie- going on and hopefully upwards toward a threshold of enjoyment that will hold you in good stead for the initial days of the next working week or if retired, like some of us, toward a feeling of relevant contact with a world that has passed us by.
We were 2-0 up thanks to a headed goal from geriatric boy and a knock in from the ubiquitous Matt, following, dare one say it, a footballing move. Nice!
They tried, it was only a matter of time that they would get some joy from their singular tactic of hoying it in the box and let the devil take the hindmost. A soft first goal, a swervy second and then a deserved pressurising third gave them the spoils. We played some reasonable football going forward and were unlucky in chances carved out but it was not to be.
Some pleasant banter and scything fouls spiced the hour mark. Their wee midfielder takes on my mantle with the accolade of "cunt of the week"- so much more sweeter if we'd have won.
Seriously now. Qu'est ce que c'est? From now on, until I'm de-clawed by the committee, this is how we're going to play it. All games allow us to roll on and roll off substitutes, friendlies or league. In the league I will, as usual, try to assemble a squad for the following Sunday which I will make public by Saturday at the latest. On the Sunday I will pick the first 11 to start with others as subs. Unlike friendlies (yes I know they're all supposed to be friendlies) I will only use the subs when considered relevant in proper match conditions. This could mean that some players face the possibility of standing on the line for 90 minutes, like in the old days when yi wer young at heart, fancy free, oozing testosterone and ultimately generally pissed off with a sedentary role. Knaa the feeling. Course yi dae! Subs, though still able to roll on and off, will be used tactically and in the event of injury. We don't just roll up on a Sunday with a divine right to get on at some stage. Is that fair or is it not? If a player, considering this policy, doesn't want to be involved they can drop out for the week. The option is theirs. Every one signed on will get their fair share of games over a season of 34 games anyway. This is my considered view of a fair way to marry fun and serious intent over the next 6 months. Please comment before the committee do!
Thank you Mike for refereeing us yesterday- not always a thankful task. I, myself, will sacrafice myself to this role once again next Sunday, unless diarrhoea, babysitting roles, hangovers or injuries intervene and require me to attempt to participate on the beloved pitch. (Nae better feeling as yer approaching the grave by the way).
Football is fun but there always serious issues to address to ensure fun, and victories, ensue. And, not all of us agree, therein lies the rub!
Black eye giver
We were 2-0 up thanks to a headed goal from geriatric boy and a knock in from the ubiquitous Matt, following, dare one say it, a footballing move. Nice!
They tried, it was only a matter of time that they would get some joy from their singular tactic of hoying it in the box and let the devil take the hindmost. A soft first goal, a swervy second and then a deserved pressurising third gave them the spoils. We played some reasonable football going forward and were unlucky in chances carved out but it was not to be.
Some pleasant banter and scything fouls spiced the hour mark. Their wee midfielder takes on my mantle with the accolade of "cunt of the week"- so much more sweeter if we'd have won.
Seriously now. Qu'est ce que c'est? From now on, until I'm de-clawed by the committee, this is how we're going to play it. All games allow us to roll on and roll off substitutes, friendlies or league. In the league I will, as usual, try to assemble a squad for the following Sunday which I will make public by Saturday at the latest. On the Sunday I will pick the first 11 to start with others as subs. Unlike friendlies (yes I know they're all supposed to be friendlies) I will only use the subs when considered relevant in proper match conditions. This could mean that some players face the possibility of standing on the line for 90 minutes, like in the old days when yi wer young at heart, fancy free, oozing testosterone and ultimately generally pissed off with a sedentary role. Knaa the feeling. Course yi dae! Subs, though still able to roll on and off, will be used tactically and in the event of injury. We don't just roll up on a Sunday with a divine right to get on at some stage. Is that fair or is it not? If a player, considering this policy, doesn't want to be involved they can drop out for the week. The option is theirs. Every one signed on will get their fair share of games over a season of 34 games anyway. This is my considered view of a fair way to marry fun and serious intent over the next 6 months. Please comment before the committee do!
Thank you Mike for refereeing us yesterday- not always a thankful task. I, myself, will sacrafice myself to this role once again next Sunday, unless diarrhoea, babysitting roles, hangovers or injuries intervene and require me to attempt to participate on the beloved pitch. (Nae better feeling as yer approaching the grave by the way).
Football is fun but there always serious issues to address to ensure fun, and victories, ensue. And, not all of us agree, therein lies the rub!
Black eye giver
Tuesday, 4 September 2007
Knobs 4 Royston 4
A lucky draw yet should and could have been a massacre in our favour- 4-0 up after a half hour.
Two players failed to show, two players drop out with injuries at last moment, I spend a good hour on Sunday morning trying to find a ref so I could play then at the ground two players turn up unexpectedly, I ref and all ends well- sort of.
Trevor excellent in goal, Steve a good game, some terrific 'clear the lines' hoofs away, midfield purring with Martin, Phil, John Boyle and in the first half Mark Mills and Matt scoring at will up front. Steve' s a lovely player of one touch, up front, but faded when Matt went (to watch friggin Arsenal would yi believe- we could hev done with him in the second half but there'll be plenty second halfs to come)- you need to play it somewhere near him( Steve that is) play to his strengths! Second half our passing became ragged, no use hitting long balls for Steve and Carl. I knew they wouldn't give up, we gave them sniffs (big ones) and they grew in confidence. Fair enough we came back well in the last 15 minutes but it was 4-4 by then. Oh yes Rob, another youth policy addition, came on to contribute well. Note he has an aggressive long throw, something to take more advantage of in future games.
The weather was balmy late summer, no doubt there was some physical suffering in our ranks, but I hope participants enjoyed the run out- not enough in the Station hospitality suite afterwards though, where the sandwiches were again plentiful but fucking freezing.
Matt scored two- first a neat glancing header from a simple passing build up, our first attack, his second robbing their centre half for a pleasant free shot into the corner. A loose ball out to John Boyle who from twenty five, six or seven yards floated it back into their net, our second attack and a nice rifled drive from Phil should have set us on the way to a handsome record victory over a Royston, who have played before, but we let them off the hook!
The match was played in splendid spirit except for that cunt Carlos or Shitlos or Braincellloss or just cunt who seemed to be in sort of disagreement with the honest - give what I see- referee. I did receive apologies and condolences from many of their lads and to be honest I didn't really need them. Yi try yer best and if peeple divvint like it they cin hevva go but fuck em, divvint werry life gans on. The fucker caaled me a cunt 3 times but a didn't hev me dichtionary so a pretended a didnt knaa worree meant. 30 years ago ad a ntted him so a must o grown up a bit- just a bit!
Vets football !
If its worth gettin up on Sunday morning to play at our advanced ages its worth tryin to get things right. Attack breaks down- get back behind the ball divvint rest. Adapt to our ages, none of us can run like we used to - except perhaps Matt- so play to what strengths we have left, in other words pass the ball roughly in the direction of a team mate's feet for the most part. A mean who can really run like a whippet anymore? At the back yi still hev the liberty to just clear yer lines under pressure- and a mean clear yer lines, try a 50 yard hoof then regroup. Vets football is still football, like we played when we were younger- maximise our strengths and minimise our weaknesses- this we will learn as the season progresses and we get to know each other and our foibles that little bit better.
This week , with 32 games left, the league begins, and we are AT HOME to St Helens. We beat them at home last season and then lost to their side, packed as it was with twenty year olds in the return, in a somewhat cantankerous game. We will be at full strength in terms of being vets, so we play with what we are and what we've got. We should win, even if they play bairns wi nappies on but we need to go out and do it. Win and enjoy me bonny lads.
Ron
Two players failed to show, two players drop out with injuries at last moment, I spend a good hour on Sunday morning trying to find a ref so I could play then at the ground two players turn up unexpectedly, I ref and all ends well- sort of.
Trevor excellent in goal, Steve a good game, some terrific 'clear the lines' hoofs away, midfield purring with Martin, Phil, John Boyle and in the first half Mark Mills and Matt scoring at will up front. Steve' s a lovely player of one touch, up front, but faded when Matt went (to watch friggin Arsenal would yi believe- we could hev done with him in the second half but there'll be plenty second halfs to come)- you need to play it somewhere near him( Steve that is) play to his strengths! Second half our passing became ragged, no use hitting long balls for Steve and Carl. I knew they wouldn't give up, we gave them sniffs (big ones) and they grew in confidence. Fair enough we came back well in the last 15 minutes but it was 4-4 by then. Oh yes Rob, another youth policy addition, came on to contribute well. Note he has an aggressive long throw, something to take more advantage of in future games.
The weather was balmy late summer, no doubt there was some physical suffering in our ranks, but I hope participants enjoyed the run out- not enough in the Station hospitality suite afterwards though, where the sandwiches were again plentiful but fucking freezing.
Matt scored two- first a neat glancing header from a simple passing build up, our first attack, his second robbing their centre half for a pleasant free shot into the corner. A loose ball out to John Boyle who from twenty five, six or seven yards floated it back into their net, our second attack and a nice rifled drive from Phil should have set us on the way to a handsome record victory over a Royston, who have played before, but we let them off the hook!
The match was played in splendid spirit except for that cunt Carlos or Shitlos or Braincellloss or just cunt who seemed to be in sort of disagreement with the honest - give what I see- referee. I did receive apologies and condolences from many of their lads and to be honest I didn't really need them. Yi try yer best and if peeple divvint like it they cin hevva go but fuck em, divvint werry life gans on. The fucker caaled me a cunt 3 times but a didn't hev me dichtionary so a pretended a didnt knaa worree meant. 30 years ago ad a ntted him so a must o grown up a bit- just a bit!
Vets football !
If its worth gettin up on Sunday morning to play at our advanced ages its worth tryin to get things right. Attack breaks down- get back behind the ball divvint rest. Adapt to our ages, none of us can run like we used to - except perhaps Matt- so play to what strengths we have left, in other words pass the ball roughly in the direction of a team mate's feet for the most part. A mean who can really run like a whippet anymore? At the back yi still hev the liberty to just clear yer lines under pressure- and a mean clear yer lines, try a 50 yard hoof then regroup. Vets football is still football, like we played when we were younger- maximise our strengths and minimise our weaknesses- this we will learn as the season progresses and we get to know each other and our foibles that little bit better.
This week , with 32 games left, the league begins, and we are AT HOME to St Helens. We beat them at home last season and then lost to their side, packed as it was with twenty year olds in the return, in a somewhat cantankerous game. We will be at full strength in terms of being vets, so we play with what we are and what we've got. We should win, even if they play bairns wi nappies on but we need to go out and do it. Win and enjoy me bonny lads.
Ron
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)