Knobs 2 Goldings 1

At the start of the week we thought we were playing MBDA, mid-week Kimpton, but eventually we ended up playing our old adversaries Goldings in a friendly.

Woody doesn’t do friendlies so he dropped out.  Paul drank so much on Friday that the pain in his ankle disappeared so he felt fit enough to replace Woody.  On Saturday Paul woke up with a pain in his ankle and head and so he dropped out again.  Barney then made himself available after his 1 appearance and instant retirement 4 years ago.  The situation was fluid.

On the day there was confusion about whom we were playing and who Barney was.  This was not helped by Goldings turning up with 10 and Barney being donated to them.  Last week’s referee Gavin also returned from retirement but did state ahead of the game that he may not be able to work as hard as the rest of the team had the previous week.

Gavin need not have worried as the team must have felt sorry for him as they played at a much slower tempo and work rate that the week before.
Referee Les / Len also seemed to be confused.  He asked why we were doing another Remembrance Day silence before the game!
The last time we gave the opposition players we lost.  It looked like we would do this again as after only a few minutes Barney broke down our right and crossed for the Goldings forward to poke in at the near post.  A very poor start.

Although we had the balance of play and possession we looked susceptible to long balls for the 2 (1 borrowed) quick forwards to chase and this became the pattern of play for the rest of the half. 

Greg was obviously full of confidence after his goal last week and also wanted to show us he believed in the saying, “if at first you don’t succeed” as he peppered the trees and tennis courts with long range efforts over and over again. 

The management dream team’s decision to leave Wayne on the Bench (he took that too literally) was proved to be a genius decision.  His replacement (Chairman Al) picked up the ball on the right, crossed and picked out an unmarked Greg who headed the ball into the corner of the net.  Total football personified when your centre back appears on the wing and gets an assist.  Shortly after the equaliser the whistle went for half time and Al was rewarded for his assist by being donated to Goldings who had another player turn up just in time for their forward to pull his hamstring.

Wayne replaced Al, Barney switched shirts and took a rest, Tony K replaced Gerry and off we went again.  Bully declared that anyone who embarrassed Al would win a pint.  Martyn nutmegged Al to claim the pint. Goldings changed their formation to what they described as 3 in the middle.  In practice it became 5 centre backs as we lay siege to their goal.  We must have had 80% possession.  Our winning goal finally arrived with a great cross field pass from Greg to Martyn who beat his man to roll the ball across to Barney who had a 1 yard tap in.  Goldings had 2 attacks in 45 minutes, both of those from Gavin who somehow managed to sub himself on for one of their players whilst being subbed for Barney.  The best chance for Goldings was when our chuckle brothers (Tony C and Wayne) decided to tackle each other under no pressure from anyone.

There was a big concern for Dave K who injured his lungs having to run 20 yards to keep the ball in before slicing it off. He begged to be replaced due to a lack of oxygen.

The game ended, we all decided their best player was the goalkeeper who had made a number of saves and we will all probably forget about the game very quickly.

Ground hog day then ensued – Greg and Wayne swept up and most of us went to the pub for brown food.