Faraway Sir Ronald

It's been on and off for years but finally the time has come for Sir Ronald to be put out to pasture in Pembrokeshire and become Faraway Sir Ronald. Plenty of gardening to be done and the drink is already a distant memory. The KNOBS, who are they?

Goodbye Sir Ronald

Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack

Sunday, 14 October 2012

Harpenden Rovers 3 Knobs 5 - report by John Dory

It’s the eternal debate – the answer to the economic problem of scarce resources and infinite wants.  Command vs. Free Market – equity vs. efficiency.  What is it to be?  It was the key debate after the game and it took away some of the attention from Dave’s magnificent 4 goal haul, the return of Trevor and the way we nearly snatched defeat from certain victory.  But what is it to be?  A league game where we desperately wanted to win but no man creates victory and no man creates defeat.  Equity vs. Efficiency.  A tough question and one no government has answered but can we answer it at Vets football.  We need to check the constitution.

We were outstanding in the first half.  We should have been six or seven up.  There was some beautiful football being played with some great inter-linking between Ali, Darren, Joel in the centre of the park, Dave (the fulcrum up front) and Richard and Gavin on the wings.  We had plenty of chances but only two were taken by half time – Dave slotted in at the back post after their keeper failed to collect and Gavin banged it in off the cross bar after Ali had teased their defence in the penalty box.  We let in a sloppy goal but it was hard to blame Trevor with the sun streaming in his eyes.  Dave blamed Tony for giving the free-kick away in the first place.  Unity is strength.  As Blair used to say ‘We’re all in this Together’ or was that Cameron?  You can barely tell them apart.  So at half-time we were 2-1 up and cruising.  Defensively we looked solid with Twiggy playing well at left back and Chris Wilson sweeping behind Tony.  Chairman Al wasn’t doing too badly either at right back and all was hunky-dory.

Substitutions (it was argued) changed the game but some could argue it was their change of formation and personnel.  Harpenden put away their passing game (they know they couldn’t compete) and started to lump it forward.  And it worked.  We looked a bit more hurried despite scoring a third with Dave sweeping in a lovely second.  This is not Dave Jordan by the way.   He came on huffing and puffing on the left flank and it was his throw on that led to the fifth goal.  This is new boy Dave who looks a very composed finisher.  We certainly need one of those!  Brendan came on and off and was only the man in the team to be part of a clean sheet.  Everyone else let in two more goals.  Both from bouncing balls and crosses in the box.  It was hectic stuff and Trevor saved our bacon with a save from a free-kick that he tipped on to the post.  At 3-3 more substitutions were made and eventually we won the game with two more goals from Dave.  One was set up by Joel with a lovely cross from the wing and the other was set up by Ali with a bit of help from Chris Cox, I think.

And that’s how it ended.  5-3.  Race for top scorer is on.  Andy must be looking over his shoulder.  There is a new man in town and he’s called Dave.  But not Jordan.  And he doesn’t have red boots.  Showers were warm, the pub was lovely, the bacon butties were great and it was all rather convivial as you would expect when visiting Harpenden.  No doubt the debate will rage on about equity vs. efficiency but for the time being we’ve concretised our position at the top end of the table and long may this continue.

67 comments:

Every dog said...

Well done!
Sounds a smashing time was had by all. Wish i could have been there but I
got me beetroot in and dogs walked twice. Some pangs of envy but I've had my day.

Brendan said...

you bunch of cunts

The real Benny said...

You can all fuck off, and if I see Alistair I will punch his fucking lights out! Steve was right.

Old knob said...

Well done boys, another win on the road and some great football, yes the changes made us loose our way a bit in the second half but we got through it and let's remember its a team game!

The real Benny said...

Fuck off, twat!

Just googled it said...

Second on goal difference. 3 teams on 10 points. MBDA walking away with it. 18th November. Book that date in the diary - home against those wallies. Next week MBDA have Blunham Vets at home.

Team member said...

Can someone please tell me, who the fuck is the manager?

Ron said...

Just to make it easier in the blog can we split the two Daves as Good Dave and Shit Dave ?

feather fingers said...

Who do you want it to be? Manager that is. Have a little dream it may come true.

Des said...

Sam Fox

Gavin said...

Rylan from shit factor

Shit Dave said...

Me

Brendan said...

Cant wait the 18th November is booked in my diary.

John Boyle said...

If the bad language on this site continues I will have no option but to close this site.

Twit err said...

I always knew Dave would come good.

#justneededachance

Good Dave said...

Available on the 18th but ive just signed for mbda.

old but bold said...

Another win for the Knobs- that's what it's all about.
Taxi!

Anonymous said...

Trouble at t'mill?
Have a drink. better?

Anonymous said...

Alistair was out of order Sunday. He can't continue as stand in manager. Does Ron really want to do it? I don't think so. He's not taking it seriously.

big knob said...

No, shit Dave. You are not having the job back.

Dave J said...

Why the fuck would i want to do the thankless task of trying to keep everyone happy on a Sunday morning. Anonymous was right, Alistair was wrong the way he treated Brendan and Ron is never around. So why on earth would i want to manage you lot.

God said...

I'm always around.

Ron Crennell said...

It's only a fun vets game on a Sunday morning.
Frequently 13 0r 14 show up to have a game Everyone gets at least a half. Sometimes we win and it's enjoyable, sometimes we don't and it's still enjoyable.
The manager is only the dogsbody, noone takes the happorth of notice, strategically or tactically, because as is the case in most football teams they won't or they can't.
Still a dogsbody is needed- to confirm fixtures, chase people up, get the numbers out, arrange a referee, but if all those things are done he doesn't always have to turn up, Brian Clough frequently didn't. Anyway I have a very competent Assistant Manager in John Boyle to stand in for me as he did last Sunday.
I have missed two away games due to superfluity of numbers and one game when I was away- we drew one, won one and one was cancelled (our 3 points), 7 points from 9, something's working. You see the light approach works.
Let the games commence.

Des said...

Whats happened to John Boyle. He'd rather be in bed with a nut cutlet.

Ron Supporter said...

I believe that Ali announced that the team he scribbled on the flip chart on Sundays was "Ron's Team".

Who else would have picked that starting midfield 5 and the new Dave up top on his own. That 6 tore Harpenden apart. It was when the subs started coming on that we lost some of the dominance.

Ron understands the game. He is a tactical genius.

Dave J said...

Enough calling me names. We are one team, let's unite!

To help team spirit I can reveal my latest find in Asda. 12p for a tin of rice pudding! That is inflation busting. It is the smartprice range but it tastes very nice.

Anonymous said...

With a little bit of strawberry jam in the middle I bet that would taste nice. Darren was like the strawberry jam on Sunday. He held everything in place when the top 5 surged forward. He is certainly a good option in that holding role.

Gavin said...

A hobbit isn’t just a small, hairy-footed creature from The Lord Of The Rings books – it also used to be a unit of measurement in Wales.


Des said...

I think we should follow Ron and Johns lead and all stay at home on Sundays. We will win every game.

JB said...

I stayed away last week as there were 15 players which is too many. You must be dreaming if you think I'll stand on the touchline watching you twats when I could be at Asda picking up some of Dave's bargains!

Dear JB said...

Available Sunday?

small but perfectly formed said...

Has Ron got hairy feet?

#justasking

Anonymous said...

Ron- hairy feet?
No only the stigmata.

Ron Crennell said...

Looking short of players this week.Any help / ideas?

Des said...

John Boyles available

Anonymous said...

Brendans available if Alistairs not playing.

forgotten knob said...

i am available sunday

Ron Crennell said...

Short this Sunday but Brendan was first one to answer- available.
Come on you curmudgeons this is what running the teeam is all about. You all pick and choose- great that's life bit divvint grumble at each other it's so demeaning.
I'm waiting to hear from super dave, picky Trevor, and John, love him to bits Boyle but hey it's a struggle.
Brendan is a great golfer by the way but likes a run out at football- what's wrong with that?

Vinny said...

Iv'e just spoke to the wife and im available.

Stu the keeper said...

Im available if vinny is.

vinny said...

Sorry the wife caught me writing in the blog and said theres no way im playing for atleast 3 weeks.

Stu the keeper said...

Sorry im not available now.

Tommy Boyle said...

Im available and im better than my dad.

Would you believe it said...

Funny how things turn around. The young guns can't play (again) and who do we turn to, that's right the core of this club. Well done Benny, you would of been in your right to tell us to stick it.

Benny said...

What are you on about you stupid pleb

Pleb said...

Ah, the voice of youth.

Anonymous said...

Going, going.......

Anonymous said...

With the team we have Sunday we are going to get thrashed. Thanks to all the drop outs and people who can't be bothered. Wasters.

Shit Dave said...

With the spirit shown by Brendan theres no way we can lose

Dear anonymouse said...

Are you saying the team for sunday is crap? are we all crap or are there some who are not crap? and where do you sit in all of this - good or crap?

Mystic Mick said...

Not saying it's crap.
Therfield 4 Knobs 0.

Dave J said...

On a serious note there has been a few break ins in Knebworth over the past couple of days. I personally blame the street lighting being turned off plunging the village in to total darkness. Make sure to lock properly before going to bed people.

Anonymous said...

That's true. I heard that also. Can we have squad list for Sunday so we can all make up our mind how much the team is going to be thrashed.

Ron Crennell said...

SQUAD: !0 strong.
Ron, Mark, Dave J, Tony, Alistair M, Brendan, Richard, Joel, John T, Chris C. + who wants to come.

jimmy said...

Hey 50 odd comments- what's up?

Ron Crennell said...

We are now 11.
A struggle but who cares!

forgotten knob said...

i am available sunday

Ron Crennell said...

We are now 13 Des and mate ride in.

Ron Crennell said...

We are now 12 Joel drops out.

Ron Crennell said...

We are now 13 Tom Martin drops in!!

Dave J said...

As my phone message Ron we are now 11 Des and mate have fallen off their horse. The game is too far away by all accounts

Anonymous said...

You can beat them with that 11. COME ON THE KNOBS!!!

3-1 said...

Dave Burlingham
Brendan, Alistair, Tony, JohnT,
Chris C, Tom M, Richard, Dave J,
Ron, Mark M.
The final frontier!

dont let us down said...

Therfield are no hopers and you should beat them easily. 6-0 to the knobs.

Albert E said...

New fair way of picking personnel for each game.
Those available from this Sunday's game are chosen first for next Sunday. Say 8. Then add at most 5 to that group for next Sunday. Puts a premium on availability and is fair in that sense and avoids the nightmare of weeks such as this. Probably wont win the league mind.

Fuck the league said...

I agree. Can we have a poll please JB.

one eye one lung said...

In Tom we trust and in trust we win.