Faraway Sir Ronald

It's been on and off for years but finally the time has come for Sir Ronald to be put out to pasture in Pembrokeshire and become Faraway Sir Ronald. Plenty of gardening to be done and the drink is already a distant memory. The KNOBS, who are they?

Goodbye Sir Ronald

Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack

Monday, 7 November 2011

Knobs 2 Ware Strollers 0

League win.
A comfortable victory with some nice passing moves. We passed it rather like this last week, but things fizzled out by the half way line. This week with Gavin spearheading in the first half and Andy in the second we had a potential threat every time we went forward. With the energy and ability of John and Runni as wide midfielders and the tenacity of Chris C and Chris W central midfield, the platform for Steve's passing range was solid. Well played.
Some slackness at the back could have proved costly very early on, unecessarily running the ball out of defence and being robbed, but Dave, in goal first half, dived low to parry a shot away with them fluffing the resulting sitter. Their little centre forward was dangerous in the first half when playing high up against Ali and Tony but he was handled fairly well. In the second half he was reduced to going far too deep for the ball, had noone to lay it off to and was snuffed out.
We had several chances notably to Chris Cox who was somehow denied. Gavin made several scintillating runs and some telling track backs, which always helps the cause. Richard was back from injury and after an over adventurous start at right back, settled nicely into the passing game being employed by the team. Bill was solid as a rock at left back and showed excellent choices in when to pass it out and when to hoof it clear. His passes out to the left midfield to get us going forward are what we've been crying out for. Others please note.
Two incidents in the first half. Was John fouled on the right, I thought he was inadvertently caught as the man sneakily crept round him to play the ball- a new survey should sort that out. John was not best pleased but recovered his bonhomie and vivacity by the time he was limping to the pub (from a knee injury, the limp not the disputed foul).
A corner started the love-in between Dave and their lanky centre half, the latter displaying a distinct lack of originality by baring his unattractive arse to Dave. No doubt the groups of the public including a host of kids were distinctly unimpressed by this fragrant or should that be flagrant outing of an ugly piece of anatomy. We proceeded to half time one up. I remember it was a good move but remember little of the detail nor indeed the scorer, what's wrong? Surely Gavin scored. Help! Oh no it was Vinnie, subbing for injured Alistair. Vinnie was already showing flair for getting forward when the ball was passed toward him and he promptly flighted in from distance. Phew, memory cells functioning again, just! They came close to equalising with a thunderous shot that hit the post, then Dave, before going for a corner.
Gavin replaced Dave in goal at half time and Andy came on up front, the outstanding Chris Cox giving way. They rarely threatened second half, except the referee's integrity on a number of occasions. But hey.. fuck you all, get on with it and enjoy.
Something was boiling between Dave and White Arse which was out of my earshot and beyond my ken when with minutes to go Krakatoa went off. A little Dave tease, from my view, led to a violent running assault by his botty friend. A grapple ensued which swiftly proceeded to the undignified sight of some 10 people brawling in a public space. I had blown for the original foul and stood back admiring the pride of British manhood wrestling in the dog shit. Squealing of umpteen decibels pricked my curiosity so I moved in for a closer view to see Dave attempting to shake off his handlers, primarily Richard (I know that man's hold). Both were sent off (not Richard) and the game petered uneventfully to its conclusion by which time we were in a two nil lead thanks to an earlier deft Runni header from a deep Steve centre from the left.
Serious point!
People were saying bring on subs to replace 'men' dismissed,- a rule of thumb at Vets' level but with no grounding in any laws. If that had happened they would have had 11 and we, with two injured subs, one of whom had gone home for lunch, would have played with 10 thus favouring the team whose player had commenced the original physical mayhem. To have allowed Dave back on would have been against any sensible rules and would undoubtedly heightened the aggro. Result 10 a side to the end despite the fact that the protagonists had kissed and made up and had concealed themselves behind Mark Mills tree to continue comparing anatomical features.
Of course we should have qualified referees but that is £40, we are not affiliated, we couldn't get a referee if we tried so our stand ins are always somewhat restricted in what they can do. I felt like abandoning the game but their wee centre forward said no- he was probably right.
A member of the public told off Steve for swearing in public and Steve told me off for swearing at Dave. All was so much fun.
I picked up two enormous dog turds before the game commenced- Chief Dogshit Remover? But I drew the line at Alistair's parthian shot, en route home for lunch , that there was another turd lurking on the half way line. I know he's a doctor and I'm a .... but I am not qualified only as a shit shifter! Whose turn is it next home game- bring your own carrier bag!
The pub seethed - pleasantly where a superb repast of garlic bread... and garlic bread was served.
Big game on December 18th- Steve's 40 th. Where a Steve Bull Old Pals x1 takes on the Knobs. Steve pays for food afterwards and ALL the drinks- is that right, he provides the ref and washes both sets of kit. Late noon to Rileys for more BEER!
Get it in your diary!
Football always wins!

57 comments:

Judith said...

I thought your swearing was a fucking disgrace.

shocking said...

i hope the culprits will be fined and banned and i certainly hope that the committee are not going to be soft on this!

Agnus said...

Your an absolute disgrace allof you. Im so glad i went home early.

Disturbed Knebworth parent said...

My daughter came home and flashed her arse and called me a cunt. I asked her whether she thought this was acceptable behaviour. She said that it was if she wanted to play for Knebworth Old Boys. Thank goodness you are a men only institution. Obviously I told her what poor role models you were and the told her to fuck off to her room and think about what she had done.

Steven said...

Dave needs to be banned for his bad behaviour , it is not acceptable.

Agnus said...

Why is it always Dave?

Anonymous said...

It is really not acceptable behaviour and each time the Old Boys play at home there is the problem of inappropriate language on the field of play. The recreation ground is used by many teams, most of which are youth teams and you would like to think that the mature generation would know how to behave in a grown up manner and act as decent role models for the younger generation.

There is alo the ongoing issue of players urinating against trees and residents fences when toilet facilities are provided within the pavilion.

Add to this the fighting that occurred on Sunday and the Old Boys are becoming an embarrassment to the village.

These issues need to be dealt with by the elected representatives of the club as otherwise the hiring of facilities may be withdrawn.

Thatchers child said...

Each to their own and do what you like in a totally unregulated way.
Community? Shake my wooden leg you'll be all talking of a big society next or we're all in this together. In what? Deep doodoo?
Talking of which it's about time Snobbsworth citizens kept their dogs out of the Rec- bleeding disgusting. They'll be shitting up against trees next.

Anonymous said...

Philip Farr and caroline Presland are on your trail.
Guess why?
The trees are complaining.

Dave said...

I think Steven should be banned for being over weight.

Debbie7 said...

Dear All, I would like to apologise for my behaviour on Sunday.The thing is im not going to. I don't need to explain my self to anyone. I have already done my apologies to the people who were there on the side. So draw a line under it and move on.

Plum of plums said...

I will not draw a line under it until proper punishment has been handed out you shoddy mob

Debbie7 said...

Don't draw a line then. See if I care! This will help you forget my behavior - How would you like a brand new Nintendo Wii with Wii Sports and Wii Party for only 89 quid?

Asda Online has them on offer. Be quick.

Get one for Xmas. I love to play mine naked.

Steven said...

Dave, take one for the team and retire, your shit anyway.

Dave said...

Not as shit as you.

Tony said...

give Dave a break and let him get on with running the team you tossers

John said...

Fuck him, he does my swede in. Bye Dave

Anonymous said...

Sundays win means that we jump from 8th to 5th. If we had beaten old minchendinians we would have been top by a point.


MBDA Vets

6 4 0 2 17 8 9 12

Blunham Vets

5 3 1 1 31 15 16 10

Old Owens

5 3 1 1 21 13 8 10

Sandridge Rovers

5 3 1 1 10 14 -4 10

Knebworth Old Boys

7 3 1 3 11 17 -6 10

Old Minchendenians

6 3 0 3 8 9 -1 9

Ware Strollers

6 3 0 3 10 20 -10 9

Goldings

7 2 1 4 13 17 -4 7

Harpenden Rovers

5 2 0 3 7 9 -2 6

Saints Vets

6 1 2 3 20 24 -4 5

Shephall Old Boys

6 1 1 4 12 14 -2 4

Big gay Chris said...

dave has gone too far, this time he has pissed the whole village off and his team mates, do the right thing

Darren said...

Time to get yer coat I think

dream on said...

yeah but we've played nearly all our games and if we'd also beaten Saints -second bottom and Old owens we'd be 7 points ahead and with a hugely improved goal difference. If we'd beaten Shephall we'd be 9 points ahead. Can't you feel that glory?

Anonymous said...

Support your local knob even if he can be a cunt without trying. Dont wont finger happy blogers telling him what to do. he means well

finger happy bloger said...

its true we should be 9 points in front and someone has to take the blame for this shit

Anonymous said...

Let's not forget it was a good win with a clean sheet, if all games were as enjoyable as that I would be happy

Anonymous said...

Get the gallows out the village hall

Dave for parish councillor said...

Gtreat tac tics again Dave. Another clean sheet under your management. Im a happy camper in the team.

Record Breaker said...

27 posts in the first day of the blog. Now thats a record.

ron said...

Dave would always be on my team sheet, just before I wipe my arse with it

David Platt said...

If we had won every game we would be top. FACT. MBDA - big game. Full availability please.

Dale said...

I like bums. Can i play with you?

Anthony said...

I thought Kenny had a good game. A bit slow to get involved in the fracar. Not sure whether he lacks courage or pace.

Steven said...

How many times are you expected to save Dave

Mr Earnest said...

Let's get back to the football. Why did we win? Because we kept our shape throughout. Communication is key. If someone bombs forward, someone must fill in. We are the eyes and ears of each other. Partnerships are key. Centre back partnership. Right back, right midfield. Left back, left midfield...etc. Together Everyone Achieves More. What Jonny Wilkinson says about the basics of rugby in The Times this week applies to the basics of football. It's not the simplicity of passing and moving. The basics are hard work and commitment to your team mates. That's it. We should all remember that.

mildred said...

Well said and that's the whole thing, play for each other and help each other out. No moaning or whinging just get on and help as best you can!

Anonymous said...

Eyes and ears- it's them Nazis again, never would have expected that from Gavin!

winger said...

Injury list
John B knee
Darren knee
Jihn T knee
Darren H knee
Gavin knee
Alistair back
Ron calf
Gary ribs
Gerry ribs
Martin back
Time for recruits?

Oi Gav said...

Eye and ears is my copyright. Get your own catchphrase.

Debbie7 said...

Talking of commitment Gavin are you available for this Sundays game?

Re written said...

Injury list
John B knee
Darren knee
Jihn T knee playing Sunday
Darren H knee
Gavin knee-no commitment
Alistair back- should play sunday
Ron calf
Gary ribs
Gerry ribs
Martin back- never been back
Time for recruits?
Enough players for Sunday. Whats the problem.

Darren A said...

Please let me know if you are interested in joining the new movement We Are New Knobs. For those that want a chance and those that believe the club needs to move forward join WANK now!

old Corinthian said...

Knobs Player Code of Conduct.
Last Sunday a few articles were broken:-
2,3,4,6,7,8,9,12 and 13 never mind you stuck to 1 and enjoyed yourselves.

Dear Dave said...

Are we having the same formation as last week. It's been working well with you in charge.

Mr Committed. said...

Pencil me in. With a 2B. Keep an eraser handy though.

no lead in his pencil said...

A 2B? that's commitment, unerasable.
I have a great limp, can I play?
Only a 4H mind.

Anonymous said...

Whoa, steady!
No more.
Thanks.

no email or text to me said...

what a boring blog, has daves computer been confiscated?

JB said...

Sorry but can't play this week, it's a bit far away. We're at home next week so I should be back for that. Good luck.

Homer said...

next home game available if its in my back garden- i'll put the nets up.

concerned of Bulmer Lytton said...

surveys usually contain grains of truth.
I'm available to fill in but if play well do you get automtically dropped because of age?
Would that be a bit ageist?

its only fair said...

if you are old you get dropped if one of the star home only players are available. simple so live with it or fuckoff pussy

Bevan Boy said...

Miaooww- understood, over and out.

Boer War Boy said...

Wearing my poppy with pride for ye aunchient veterans on Sunday. How could you play without us.

gloomy bert said...

You young knobs-
"It's later than you think"

Clicketty Click said...

Four Seasons "The Night" should be our marching tune. Takes 30 years off your age, howay those lads!

Anonymous said...

just back from Station after a birthday bash that showed my age.
Love you all!
Little Sir Ronald (66)

forgotten knob said...

i am available sunday

jimmy riddle in the bushes said...

did anyone else see Dave's brother in the Station tonight?
Not a connoiseur of the brace position more an afficionado of the suicidal headlong dive down the steps position- then blame the police.