Faraway Sir Ronald

It's been on and off for years but finally the time has come for Sir Ronald to be put out to pasture in Pembrokeshire and become Faraway Sir Ronald. Plenty of gardening to be done and the drink is already a distant memory. The KNOBS, who are they?

Goodbye Sir Ronald

Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack

Monday, 12 November 2007

Garston 0 Knobs 2

A grand game, albeit only 40 minutes each way as it turned out, on the grassy true flowing Met Police ground. We deserved our win, with a somewhat changed side. Garston I feel misled us as to the make up of their side, leading me to leave Phil, Matt, Chris, Gavin and Mike grinding out their frustrations in domestic settings- still other people had a chance to play and contribute. Enough of the psychological warfare.
Man of the match, without a doubt surely was our keeper Trevor who caught everything cleanly and saved all that was propelled toward him, including a one on one save to which one could only retort "bravo"!
Having said that, it was not a game we were lucky to win. Not at all, we played some lovely and penetrating stuff, especially in the first half, and we scored with some of our chances and Trevor saved all of theirs. Personally I was a bit chuffed when their senior players, at the end, praised our craftiness and defending from the front, the rarely noticed and not highly acclaimed art of putting yerselves in relevant positions. This was important against a team who continually play out from the back in triangles, oblongs, circles and rarely a straight line.
Mark Mills returned to something like form with some good passes and nicely flighted corners, one of which led to our first goal, butted in by birthday boy, c'est moi- 62 the day before. Al aalways get a few in the air divvint ye fret hinny! The game wore on with a 1-0 lead looking rarely enough, till a nice wee break saw a penetrating through ball from geriatric boy swallowed up by Richard, who galloped from the half way line to net unerringly. I knew it was a good pass cos Bill praised it- yes you did, I heard you.
Nick making his proper debut interested watchers by a succession of fouls (was it 7 or 8) but, hey, he was competing for the ball.
Mention must be made for Steve's visionary 40 yard diagonal ball into the area where my lovely firm header was fucking wide. Really disappointing that cos I'd read the intent and could visualisethe glory as I modestly discussed matters in the Station afterwards. I missed another headed chance from a lovely Mills' corner later. Still it was nice to get a game and compete.
Rip Van Winkle turned down a definite penalty earlier, when M. Boyle was upended from behind, but at least that spared us the embarrassing sight of Dteve and Martin fighting over the ensuing spot kick. Brendan played well, Peter did well until he visibly tired, Andy did well replacing his brother, so much so that folk said they couldn't tell the difference between them. Andrew's the strong, silent one!
We adjourned to the bar, where chaps were struck by the personality of the barmaid so much so that they were willing to wait ages at the bar for a gargle just admiring her- "style". The sandwiches weren't bad either.
An extended session back at the Station, where a few old men chewed the fat and smoked pipes of peace, figuratively, ended for me at 4 pm when I change into a pumpkin- or is that a punchbag if a cum yem pissed. Johnny Boyle was left alone to hold the fort and a final glass of lager. A wonder if he's yem yet.
Next week a league game v Datchworth at the postage stamp Woolmer Green pitch, followed by drinks at Datchworth sports club. 1.30 kick off. Howay the lads. Oh divvint mention them lads they're friggin useless. Big Sam- Big Nancy Boy.

"Older dan dem der hills" Ron- yet I feel remarquably fresh this morning. Watch out!

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

i think i earned a starting place next sunday

Anonymous said...

turn up at woolmer Green 3.30 kick off.

Anonymous said...

do they have floodlights at woolly creek?

Anonymous said...

Can anyone give me some money. I need some to put to good use.

Anonymous said...

was Andy mills that good? or was Mark Mills that bad? please tell us Ron

Anonymous said...

Both equally the same as each other in a two peas in a pod similarity you would expect from twins. Neither as hard as Carl but both there or thereabouts, so to speak, as if to say and why not- said a disinterested bystander, with no axe to grind nor anything else to grind for that matter, not to put too fine a point on it, in a manner of speaking if that's not too brusque. They will never aspire to "Sandy mittenhood" but there is perhaps evidence of a penchant for ther innovative even the absurd that creeps into their play on the odd, and end occasion, say what you will, if you like or e'en if you dislike or liketh not.

Anonymous said...

Well done team! Where are the ratings?

Anonymous said...

Well done Andy Mills. Underated but a battler who always gives 100%. Can't ask for more than that. At least he passes the ball Mark!

Anonymous said...

Mark passed the ball well on Sunday. Mark nearly always gives 100 % the exceptions being..

Anonymous said...

What has happened to all the jokes about balls, sausages & spurs?

Anonymous said...

We're all shaved balls, vegetarian Spurs fans the noo!

Anonymous said...

Ratings for Sunday's nice little win, only one should concern us- Trevor 10-10 for a flawless display.

Anonymous said...

Glad to see your team had a decent keeper between the sticks this time. Will be turning up at your next home game from northampton. Can you tell me when that is please.

CARRY ON!!

Anonymous said...

i want the big knobs chart, where is it pls.

Anonymous said...

Geordie glossary:
Some of the match reports contain a language indecipherable to a few of our bold gentlemen players. A little help.

"Clarts"- a really muddy area fit for neither man nor beast never mind quasi- footballers. "A clarty fa.." not a nice term.
"Bullsy"- a derogatory term- you played like a bulls knacker or rather badly.
"A caker" another derogatory term-a bulls knacker caked in shite. You don't want to be called a caker do you?
"a winnit" a piece of shit adhered to your arse post wiping.
"A clanky winnit" piece of shit not only caked to your arse but dangling by a piece of hair and bouncing from cheek to cheek as you run or in the case of vets , when you try to run, ie. walk fast.
" howayawaywiwe"- come on with us, vocally sounding like h***wiwe.A sick sounding emission, what else? Meaning come on away with us in this glorious enterprise, God for Harry, England and St George sort of thing.
"Knacker Dan"- something as bad as a "bullsy" again a derogatory term- "Mark you're a knacker dan, end of conversation." Or Nick was bit of a "knacker dan" against Garston- but only a bit.
"a shabby hoy oot" on wedding days the bride throws out coins to the assembled urchins. A shabby one is when it's aal pennies or less, a bit like Mark's payment of match fees.
"hadaway away and shite"- I won't accept that argument!
"canny aal reet aal reet"- a pleasant term referring to a trier. Not applicable, in southern contexts. OOOh!
"Geordie"- a Scotsman with his heid kicked in.
"ower here" you could pass in this direction, I'm lurking maliciously.
"ower there"- nowt to do with me I'm ower here.
"Amaway"- I could be leaving the pub or even the house, back to the pub, or even a combination to confuse "wor lass", invariably a term of endearment referring to your wife or partner, who will render you insensible with a "cloot roond thi lugholes" if she can catch you in time.
" a bit o fanny" not to be confused with the American it means "ee av gorra bit."
"the referee was a bit of a fanny were'nt he"?- so so true.

"yopen thi gates" when a winger is hairing hell for leather wi thi baal at e's feet and yi knaa he's gannin naewhere. Except at St James' Park , it's next stop the Town Moor to the north- fitting for Gordon Hughes, Newcastle, (Charlie Drake understudy) circa 1960- one or was it two under 23 caps before someone clipped his wings. Not appropriate to vets football except when I attempt to shoot.
"av ad mair fun wi thi toothache"- conversing with Carlos of Royston.
"Lump it "- clear your lines Steve.
"Shite up a height"- all's not well in heaven!

Second part forthcoming when communication breaks down me bonny lads.
Am away to louse noo cos av ad a canny bit graft aal reet an av a feelin that me marra's been kippin thi neet's drawer.

Anonymous said...

I suppose its to much to hope for next weeks match report to be in Scotch or Scouse?

Anonymous said...

come on come on, we really got a good thing going. Who?

Anonymous said...

WHo or what is Northampton?
You lot are quiet this week- in shock or sumpin.

Anonymous said...

We're in complete shock. Spurs won a game and kept a clean sheet. Wouldn't we all like clean sheets these days eh? That's old age.

Anonymous said...

i see petrol is over a pound now. Im just saying!!

Anonymous said...

it was very cold this morning

Anonymous said...

Which morning?

Anonymous said...

Spend now, enjoy now. Descendants? You shouldn't have them if you worry about the future. Read "Homo Brittanicus" by C Stringer for a little insight into the precariosness of existence. Live only in the present, chuckle about the past and fuck the future- there isn't one further than next month, next year. But luxuriate in the present, it's all that counts.

Anonymous said...

fancy a cup of tea?

Anonymous said...

Don't mind if I don't.

Anonymous said...

It's cold all the time at the moment. My nuts go the size of a pistachio! Hold up...that analogy doesn't work does it?

If only someone could consisently walk round with me and cup my balls, that would be grand.

Any takers?

Anonymous said...

Well Mark Mills you were right. Four weeks rest for a groin strain is clearly not enough! The first 20mins at 5-a-side last night were relatively ok but the next 15 were painful. Looks like i will have to see a physio and leave it until the new year before i start playing again................shit! it's boring being unable to play any sport. Good luck guys for the rest of the year. Off to the Toon on the 5th December Ron to see the Toon v Arsenal.

Anonymous said...

Kev you're finished- take up gardening

Anonymous said...

dear andy bell-end i will happily walk around with you and cup your balls. are you playing on sunday?

Anonymous said...

Death kiss me not.

Anonymous said...

Imagine Caligula with control of the internet. Corruption of power is within access of all of us.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Percy Boyle!

Anonymous said...

Wrong Kevin!

Anonymous said...

ayem nut finnishd yate me marrer. des pite whaddyeh fink. Ah well i tried Ron Thrower, i'll be back better than ever!

UP THE ARSE!!

Anonymous said...

Just for the record it isn't all about arse shavin especially with the Golan Heights on our side!

Anonymous said...

Come on you beauty. Believe it brothers were going to Euro 2008
Cant wait to get out my skull for 3 solid weeks (depending on how far the team gets). Might even see some football. Still think Mc Clarens a cunt though.

Anonymous said...

Come on you beauty. Believe it brothers were going to Euro 2008
Cant wait to get out my skull for 3 solid weeks (depending on how far the team gets). Might even see some football. Still think Mc Clarens a cunt though.

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