Another victory, getting boring is it?
On a freezing cold day with a bitter east coast wind blowin up the jaxy, Knobs secured another partially elegant, partially crap victory. Victory was never in doubt or was it- after they came back from 3-0 down in the second half to 3-2. I don't think those playing were in doubt, they kept on playing nicely (I was referee-so I kept staggering around suffering) but the chances missed outnumbered those scored, hence the final goals total- 4. Lovely bit of logic that.
The pitch at Tewin was carpetted with worm casts, with not a few rabbit holes, which together with the lack of a lawnmower's attention made smooth football difficult. Still there was some good stuff. Martin and Steve were outstanding, the former my man of the match with Phil, Dave and Roy coming up on the rails. Trevor kept the lead intact with 2 or 3 extraordinary saves to go with.... say no more. Chris G managed to turn one scrambled shot past the post with the faintest of knicks which might have changed the course of the game at 3-2. John Boyle had a cold, Matt hated the crossbar, Richard hated playing full back- did well, Mike Lisle scored with a Shearer like header and Mark hated a bobble which caused him to .......... half volley a chance into neighbouring Welwyn Garden City, still it wasn't our ball which was a real lifeless dud. Ron hated playing referee.
First 10 minutes we were appalling. Nuff said.
Late in first half a switch inside saw monsiuer Bull rifle home from 25 yards over their diminutive goalkeeper.
A questionable offside break, turned down by their referee, ie me, fell eventually to Phil who netted.
Early second half saw a crashing header from Mike make it 3-0.
They came back through two goals from corners which were scrambled in from 3 and 6 inches respectively.
An excellent move led to Phil cutting in from the right wing and ignoring several players, nicely placed, proceeded to lash it in for his second and our 4th.
Into the cricket pavilion where hot water was obtained before most of us journeyed to Datchworth Club for a welcome pint.
A choice of vegetable stew or mince stew brought us round- a wee dog entertained us by pissing on the carpet- well it was freezing out- and the bandwagon rolls on.
Well done.
51 comments:
Arse shavin is now out of fahion we'll just have to concentrate on crouchin for a djerkoff
Still in pain!!
Still in pain!!
Well done team! We march on!
Give credit where it's due. Mark (the Worminator) Mills was stitched up by the 2 worms he carefully placed on to the grass before the game. They must have made their way to the pitch to put him off his shot.
Strained groins, worms, sausages a bit off, bladderisation, Big Bob's bollockings put me off, Big Bob's bollocks put everybody off, too tight shirts, bobbles, too tight socks, smeared me lipstick, useless goalies, sniffles, never get picked are some of the pathetic excuses for individual under achievement on the pitch- not forgetting paucity of shinpads. Let's be hearing no more of them.
Happy Christmas
dear mr under achiever stick one of my sausages up your crack, that should get you going
how can you individually underachieve if you don't get picked? don't be such a smart arse! Ron does have his little favourites you know!
Keep it up Ron and good work team. Roll on Sunday.
i'm in the team on merit
can i be a favourite?
Can i be your favourite Sausage supplier?
Do you like playing in a team that competes every week and nearly always wins or do you like playing in a team that has eleven men....? and...
I want to win every game. Playing good football is a real bonus too.
Win? Play football? What Month are we in?
It's 3pm on a damp November noon and after a day of industrious domesticity I allow myself a few moments to come on this blog and wax non lyrically about the subject of playing football, who should play it and when.
Favourites? Of course I've got them. I love you all- you're all my favourites. Well actually that's a porky pie.
My favourites are categorisable under two headings, no three headings- availabilty, sociability (objective) and playing ability, somewhat subjective so I believe.
30 players to pick from and only eleven can play. Difficult.
Am I fair, frequently, am I unfair, frequently.
Eleven available, then nae problem.
Do I (we) want to win- certainly so there is the rub even in a social team. There is a nucleus of players who socialise, usually imbibing piss on a Thursday night, some do so on a Sunday post-game and some, usually the same culprits turn out on other occasions. If we met up simply on a Sunday and then all buggered off it would be oh so lonely in the pub! So sociable players is a factor as should be the fact that a small group take on the chores of running the club, which apart from anything else involves cleaning my pre-match mud off the dressing room floors. If socialising was the sole priority some people would only be involved as a last resort ie when we're short. They would then be in the privileged position to say "no" but the offer of an occasional game would be there.
Ability. The vital parameter. Can yi play and can yi keep gannin?This year a number of new players have joined us and have dramatically improved the performances. They are among my favourites. John Boyle is playing regularly this year and he is just blossoming- he's one of my playmates, hence a favourite.
Bill is one of my favourites cos without his imput clubs don't function, Twiggy is a favourite cos he's from Birmingham. Steve and Brendan are favourites cos they try hard and improve every year. Trevor is my favourite cos I always knew he's a terrific goalkeeper. Chris Wilson and Gavin will be big favourites in the future when they have achieved the magical 35 status, but at present they train well, play well and are understanding. My views on under 35's are well known and are non negotiable. Martin is going from strength to strength and Mike Lisle will always get chances at this level and often he'll take them. Mark is Bill's favourite and even mine when he puts it on my head for a goal. Who are your favourites?
Ron of the Watton Road Anarchist Party and founder member of the Breast feeding for the over-35's Campaign.
Clarence, you are one of my favourites. Still a decent player at 62 and a man of great wit. Keep the faith and long live the blog.
Am i not a favourite any more. Is it cos i is black!
Kevin is my favourite cos he's injured and that makes life easy. Anyone else, besides Alistair, injured?
Make an old man happy!
Anyone need to do any Christmas shopping that could make you a super favourite, or stay at home for a....... well you wouldn't necessarily be my favurite but you could be making someone else happy!
When i am fit again i will come around and do the shopping for you Clarence. I will make you a lovely G n T and personally serve you.Surely this will make me one of your favourites.
I'm bored, the missus has gone out and there is frig all on the telly. Not even any sad bastards on this site. Come on Clarence wake up from your alcohol induced coma and give us you all time favourite player ratings. I think Neil Michelson should be in there as a favourite bore! yawn
Make it Bombay Sapphire and your on.
"Bored favourite" why weren't you at training tonight, there were only 7 of us in the rain- singing of course! And you like Neil do you?
It is a shame the 5-a-side, sorry 3.5-a-side is not taking off. There are some injuries though and the weather is shitty (this does put off the soft southern girlies in our team!)
Hey camel...don't get the hump!
Any one watching the game tonight at The Station?
Perhaps said non beer drinker. Who are you?
I'm a responsible parent and will not be lured into visiting a place full of such fearsome people to abuse my body drinking excessive quantities of alcoholic beverages.
I'm a stand-in goalie!
Mr trussell's handywork and i were thinking of going to the Station for the game.
Anyone else going?
Walking along, singing a song, walking two by two.
Walking here, walking there, until our song is through.
Get ready, get set, go!
Que Sera, Sera where ever we'll be we'll be im off to Wemberley Que Sera, Sera. Bet my beer costs more than your's.
Station it is then...for some moaning about McClaren and last minute hugging as Beckham curls in an equalising free kick with a minute to go.
Wot when Coronation Stree's on you barbarians.
You heard it here.
England lose tonight, probably 2-1, by McLaren's underemployment, indeed his total under use, of favourites. He hasn't got any and they all think he's a cunt to be got along with since those spudbrains at the FA gave him the divine right to pick the team. And if he fails? Well we know he wont have to "work" again. Isn't he a lucky cunt, I wonder if there's any depth to him or whether his hobby is simply wanking.
Alf, Sir Alf Ramsey, now he had favourites, foremost being that most unlikely of footballers Norbert Stiles. He trusted them, except Greaves, but he wasn't really favoured by then. They reciprocated. Mind they were far from popular all through the 66 tournament but
the lumpen proletariat had faith in the work ethic. The non football fraternity jumped on the bandwagon by the final mind. Sir Alf, "sit down Shepherdson" to the physio when he rose to his feet in delight at an English final goal! Such phlegmatic restraint! I'm just going out now, I may be a little while- Oates. Aye, McLaren is one of a long line of "yes men" shitting himself every time he breathes out. Divvint had yer breath that things ill be diffrint when he's gone cos they winnit be. Am not sayin Cloughie would necessarily have won anything but if he had then we could have all been pleased for oh so many reasons. One being he was a character (and a throw back socialist) I was at aSunderland Newcastle derby aeons ago. The Toon, before they knaan as thitoon, thi were just the lads, like in howay the lads. Anyway the toon were aal ower Sunderland. Big Bill Thompson were marking Clough, he who used his head in tackles, in that he would head people's boots as they went to pass or shoot. Anyway Cloughie had beentotally disinterested for most of the game. Sunderland winger Harry Hooper did two things in the game in the second half he
haired doon thi wing toward the Gallowgate end, hit the by line and squared thi baal. Both times, Clough had a tap in from six inches. Sundlind won!
Character? Wye Thompsonwas ganna spifflocate Clough, he was boring and bumping him and nae baal in play!Wye Cloughie walkedoff the pitch and stood in the dugoot
on the half way line. Nae substitutes then, he just stood there chattin to the crowd. Who was standin
next to im listenng? Aye, Big Bill Thompson, "come back on the pitch an al knacker yi". He was a cute one that Clough, fackin broke thi mould they did.
Anywhere we've got that wanker McLaren nuff said.
As for the last comments well!! yes Mclarens a lucky cunt, but hey this is England. Get behind the team, everyone deserves a second chance. Just cheer the lads on you moaning bastard! you have obviously have never been a manager in any walk of life, put your head above the parapet or shut the fuck up whinger!!!!
Well Mr Angry I'm devastated that the English tradition didn't have a chance to express itself but there you are. Mr M treat Beckham like a piece of shit. He's got no favourites you see he's just a user but unfortunately a poor one. I'm sure every professional footballer will be glad to see the back of him. None of them can stand him I'm sure Beckham introduced too late, actually months too late. Ah well there's always.....
You were right! the players out there lacked passion (unlike the fans). If anything positive comes out of this it will be Mclaren getting the sack. Perhaps the special one can now step forward? Let's see how special you are Jose.
you lot looking for a reserve keeper? I got some other mates as well, all world class players i can tell you but just need a bit more cash i mean luck.
You leave my son alone! "it's the way he drops them!"
It's a bloody disgrace that the working mans game is played by these money grabbing whores. Gerrard has spoken so often about passion he's actually forgotten what it means. When some big guy in The Station shouted 'You CUUUUUNNNNNNNNTSSSSSSSSSS' - one could only agree.
Sack the players - bring in the under 21s. If we're going to lose at least give the youngsters a chance.
Well he's gone.
Mclaren failed to activate what forces he had at his hand. Fair enough.
Other managers in the history of football have achieved something with what they might consider limited resources.
Brian Clough.
Who could imagine- a team with John McGovern as midfield general, O'Hare so slow he couldn't run, Lloyd so fat he was dismissed by all conquering Liverpool, Burns so drunk and obsteperous noone would touch him with a barge pole, Robertson , as Clough himself said a little footballer striving in a fat man's body to get out, Frank Clark, fullback, a man I watched repeatedly, hopeless, slow and without, in the modern jargon technique, never mind pace, he had none- conquering Europe, who could imagine it but they did!
If you think McLaren had limited resources, then he failed on the Clough barometer. Clough had some players you wouldn't ever class as class, yet as a team they achieved fuckin' miracles. McLaren couldn't and didn't achieve anything like that- what was he putting in the tea?
So McLaren failed to deliver with the resources he had. Forget injuries. The man gambled and lost- viz. goalkeepeer change and his pathetic treatment of Beckham. (I am not a Beckham arse licker but as an anti ageist fanatic I feel Laren just made a prime boo boo from the off- the lad still can play football at the standard necessary). McLraen and his cohorts failed to give us a team with whatever resources they thought they had.
What are the resources?
The youth of England.
All through my life there has been a philosophy of it's not what you know but who you know, to get on. Systems and structures matter, no more true than in sport.
Obviously you have to be able to function as a sportsman but in a population of 50+ million do we get the correct cream at the top of the tree, or are countless millions turned off by the 'old pals act' which turns them to drugs, crime, rock and roll and surburban bliss rather than a professional footballer's "career"?
The FA , fuck em, I well know the type, from bitter personal experience, I will give a pertinent example if you want- involving Howard Kendall and me. Name dropper, so be it.
We hear all the time of our lack of "technical ability compared to just about everyone in the world, bar the Eskimos and the Yeti, but what does that mean? At my advanced age it is all to do with not letting kids be kids. All the FA needs to do is to provide facilities then let the kids play. And by play, I mean become familiar with the round thing called the football, love it as their friend, teach it tricks and be able to command it.
The upthrust of the present situation is that up and down the country we have loads of recreational clubs called football clubs where parents and socially committed people straitjacket youngsters, almost from the cradle, to do this, do that, be tactically aware of position, do this do that again, no wonder the poor fuckers give up the ghost and choose something more relevant, like gannin to to the pictures or trying to get an early shag.
YOU PARENTS- get a life leave the kids alone! Yes go and watch them but let them develop their skills and make their own mistakes and hence learn. All this parental, youth coaching from an early age makes me vomit. Let them alone, give them the facilities and they'll pick up the game if it's for them. In Knebworth, as a microcosm, you see it every weekend, coaching what- fucking nothing that's what, kids shittin themselves instead of enjoying themselves. Resulting in a straitjacketed format, ultimately, of making a beautiful game more complex than chess, in a very narrow and very unsuccessful way. As Pink Flloyd said, "leave the kids alone" and as the FA would say in its narrow little way, .........
I have enjoyed football, playing, watching and chattin aboot it but if England ever want to win a world cup or whatever we have to encourage flair from grassroots, whether kicking a can on a back lane to carressing a ball across Bisham Abbey's manicured lawns, and to this end the utter snobbery of the English tradition legislates against any hope. And you know the working class lads like the Gerrards, the Beckhams, the Wright-Phillips, the Coles, the Mabbutts and even the Charltons (well one at least) have all fallen foul of it until we arrive at today's debacle. Speak out you millionaire bastards it's our game you destroy.
Oh well it's only a game- or is it?
We'll never get an egalitarian and genius like Clough- I'm very fond of him despite his Middlesborough and Sunderland allegiances,- but I listen today of crap suggestions like Mourinho, O'Neill, Allardyce(you can have him said disinterested Newcastle supporter), Capelli, Scolari, Dennis Wise (honest), Holloway (honest again), Pearce (honestish) and fucking Venables and I know until we wean ourselves away from the parochial system of organising football in this country (have the tea and biscuits been sorted Clarence and no he's from the wrong side of the tracks) then whoever takes over's got nae fuckin chance!
Give kida an equal chance, it may be an egalitarian, global game but not in this country it aint.
I'll just go and and do a bit of gardening now- that's what these parents should be encouraging their youngsters to do with a bit of real class football on the side as hobby.
Then we can conquer the world.
The under 21s, what a bunch, every one of them full of passion playing for their country.
I'll be so fit come next summer, no burn out for me, can't wait.
Who do you think should manage England then Ron? I don't see any decent English ones on the horizon, and sadly Brian Clough is not around any longer and Sir Bobby is past it. The main thing is that the players will be English so i don't give a flying fuck about the nationality of the manager. And by the way, if you leave seven year old kids with a ball and two goals they will all chase the ball and want to score! they can't do it on their own. Kids do need guidance not eleven up front.
What is wrong with all 7 year olds wanting the ball and wanting to score if that gives them enjoyment?
Question-:
Whats seven inces long and hangs from a cunt.
Answer-:
Steve Mc Clarens Tie.
Give them 4 coats/jumpers and a ball of some description that's all they'll need. My first ball, honest, was a green plastic ballcock from a toilet system- somewhat less than round which I spent hours kicking around a cobbled back lane. Look what good it did me- my dad insisted I continued studies to sneak into university during Mr Wilson's 'white hot revolution' instead of going to Wolves for noughtpence a week, look what good it did me!
Remember kids hate grown ups interfering in their games, by the way. Kids do like grown up approval not total grown up control from cradle to grave. I remember. How else do we have revolutions?
England new manager? Irrelevant until the players are released from the straitjacket of slavish conformity, then a manager, whoever, would be worth his two bob or two million.
Here, at Newcastle, we have a magnificient manager, Mr S Allardyce , who fulfils all the prerequisites of an England manager. We, none of us, would like to stand in his way or in the way of our country's progress. Therefore after... aaargghhh ..minutes of soul searching we offer him, unconditionally to the nation in the hour of their greatest need.
Humbly yours.
you keep Allardyce, at least he is messing up N.U.F.C and not England.
Wenger for England! sorry Arse fans.
we should make sure that all youth football is played with barefeet and a tennis ball. If it's good enough for the Brazilians who have fuck all money and produce quality footballers, it's good enough for us. I've just rang Chas Lowe and Sons and they are going to deposit a shit load of sand on Knebworth Rec so we can all play the Brazilian the way!
"kids hate grown ups interfering in their games, by the way. Kids do like grown up approval not total grown up control from cradle to grave."
Excellent stuff.
PS. Leave Wenger alone
Do you know that Arseshavin has now stooped lower in the world? Sent off against Andorra last night as mighty Russia sailed into the Euros 1-0. He'll miss the first game. I felt the habit would never become a passion on account of the itches and seven o'clock shadow on me half moons.
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