Knobs 2 Kimpton 1, Kimpton 1 Knobs 1

The Vets took on Kimpton in a 'double header' on the hottest day of the year so far.  The plan was for 30 mins each way, but Kimpton arrived without subs and Darren was easily negotiated down to 25 mins each way, twice.

A rowdy dressing room witnessed a weak apology from Wayne for a full season of misdemeanours, and then were shocked to find out from Dave Jordan than 'time' has recently been decimalised. "4 x 25 minutes, even in this heat is not too bad, it's only an hour, then we are done" Dave explained. This is not the first time this season Dave has impressed with his maths, see the report for Harpenden at home, when Dave invested £11 to win £10 on the scratch cards. There was some discussion about Dave helping his daughter with maths, and at this point Gavin did the decent thing and offered some free tutoring.

Match 1 - Knebworth 2 Kimpton Rovers 1

Knebworth began slowly as usual, a few things happened, the ball bobbled a lot, and this writer cannot remember much else. At the back Wayne and James discussed the merits of Jono's performance, but were forced to eat their words when suddenly the giant got free from the beanstalk around his legs and hit a curling left foot shot into the far corner.

keep it tight protect the lead was the cry from the back. Then Kimpton had a shot, the balled rolled slowly towards the goal, the players stood watching seeing the print on the ball go round and round....mitre, mitre, mitre, mitre, mitre, mitre.... Goal....expletive, expletive, post kicked, sore foot - the ball had rolled through Tony.

But fear not, Knebworth had Barney, and Kimpton had lost faith in their keeper. The ball was hoofed forwards by Tony, there was indecision and Barney rolled the ball home. 2-1 at home, decent result.

Match 2 - Kimpton Rovers 1 Knebworth 1

The away fixture was much tougher. But Knebworth raised their game and were much stronger. Jono had left in a hurry for the airport as police arrived at the rec.  Gavin and Dave M joined the fray having sat out the home fixture.

Knebworth looked most likely to score until Double Agent Dave Jordan took things into his own hands. Dave was having a great game, but was clearly unsure if he was playing for Knebworth or Sandridge and became the 99th player to lob Tony this season with an unconvincing swing at a bouncing ball. Maybe he also turns out for Kimpton, who knows, but if the authorities take a look at the video and discover strange betting patterns we can expect questions to be asked.

Knebworth were the stronger side and tried hard to get back into the match. Gavin was ruthlessly substituted and departed quickly for twittersphere  - sorry Gavin. Dave M got Knebworth back in the match with one of the worst goals the rec has witnessed with more confusion in the Kimpton defence, goalkeeping mix ups and a goal clearance attempt that hit the post. But they all count, and a few minutes later, the final chance fell to Dave to win the match.....

At the final whistle there was much tension between the Millhouse brothers about a recently purchased wedding ring that had gone missing. the club is still not sure which Millhouse got married on their recent American love island trip.