Goldnobs 0 Knobs 2

Our last match before Christmas saw us travelling to Bramfield to play our old adversaries Goldings.

It was cold and the ground was icy and so Goldings decided to surprise us by recreating a historical “Christmas Truce” football match.  For those of you unfamiliar with this, it is when hostilities ceased along the Western front during Christmas 1914 and both sides met in the middle of their trenches for a game of football.  The Goldings version was similar except in our match we played in the trenches and there was still some hostility.

Despite playing on the same pitch a couple of times before it still amazes us how anyone can play on their pitch.  It is small, rutted and sloped.  Add to that the ice and mud patches and it was going to be an interesting game.  With 2 wonky rusting goals put up by a man in fluorescent yellow trousers it became the ultimate Sunday league pitch.

The small changing room is consistent with the pitch.  The ceiling is held up by bits of wood and you have to get changed in shifts.  During our shift there were 2 things of note – 1. Our returning co-manager Dave revealed his Cyber Monday bargain yellow boots.  2. Dave also revealed that Jono is in fact Canadian which is why we cannot understand him.  Presumably he is French Canadian?

After Goldings’ turn in the changing room we finally kicked off.  From the off we dominated possession and camped in their (very small) half.  It was hard to play our preferred passing game in the trenches but we kept plugging away and trying to play.  Goldings occasional hoofed the ball into our half for their one man to chase but created little of note.  It wasn’t long before we took a deserved lead.  Jono received the ball on the right and surged into the box only to be upended by an ill-timed lunge from their defender.  It was so obvious that not even a single player on their team appealed.  Jono may have volunteered to take the spot kit but Bully doesn’t speak French so he placed the ball on the spot a scored the penalty with ease.

The 2nd half saw more of the same with us dominating possession but not troubling the keeper as often as we should have. Despite the conditions, it was all too easy really.  They rarely looked like troubling us.  We did get a second mid-way through the 2nd half.  A similar run from Jono as with the first goal saw him get taken out again but this time the ball broke towards goal and Greg helped it over the line from 3 inches out before the defender could clear the lines.  The Linesman who clearly had an itchy armpit all morning put his flag up for offside, then a penalty then he didn’t know what he was flagging for.  The ref who was great all game ignored him (again) and rightly gave the goal.
Dave brought himself on for the last 15 minutes or so to give his boots a try, his first outfield playing appearance for a couple of years.  He looked fit but has forgotten how to jump.

The game petered out with a 2-0 away win for us and then the non-strikers in the team made an orderly queue to wait in line for the use of 1 of the 2 showers.

Most of us went to the post match pub to take part in a game of “who can pick out the 1 cooked jacket potato”.  Good times.