Buntingford Town Vets 0 Knobs 0

On a freezing cold morning we travelled to far away Buntingford Town for a friendly. I thought we had 13 in the squad but Ian arrived to make it 14 and he joined me and new boy Sean on the sidelines. We started with Dave in goal, a back four of Chairman Al, Dirty Roy, Mr Motivator and another new boy Good Tony. In midfield there were Gerry, Chris, Darren and Richard with Bully playing behind lone striker Joel.

The game kicked off and I couldn’t help but notice how big a team Buntingford were and the ones who lacked height made up for it in other ways, a bit like Mr Motivator! I was freezing on the sideline, Sean was running the line to keep warm and Ian arrived and went straight on to replace Dirty Roy who had tweaked his hamstring. From what I could make out through the icicles hanging from the block of ice on my head was that the pitch was crap, very bobbly and the little bits of good football seen came from the knobs. We had some good chances, Chris and Joel hit the bar and their keeper made a fine stop from Chris, clawing the ball out just before it crossed the line. Sean came on for his debut, Richard came back on for Joel who got injured after a heavy challenge and that was it for the first half.

I didn’t fancy coming on for the second half as I had turned into a block of ice but thought it may give me a chance to thaw out and it would have been a fate worse than death to watch another half from the sideline! I was placed into a sack trolley and moved into the right back position facing the opposition where I stayed for the whole of the second half. I could just about make out Mr Motivator’s words of encouragement about having a stinker, having a shocker and never seen anything like it. The ball bounced off me a few times and the game ended 0-0. From my position facing forward I could see that we played a couple of good attacking moves and had a couple of chances but the opposition were organised and hard working. I was later informed that Dave setup a good chance for their chap James and Mr Motivator couldn’t fool the ever alert Dave with a neat dummy inside the six yard box. The sack trolley was back on and I was placed under a hot shower.

It was a good team performance and everyone worked hard. Good Tony and Sean acquitted themselves very well and Gerry was excellent at right midfield.

Into the clubhouse for a couple of jars, a telling off for trying to get subs out of debut boys Sean and Good Tony and then watching everyone tuck into chilli con carne. And all of this on my birthday you unfeeling thoughtless wankers!!

Knobs away v Ware Strollers. Farce- a waterlogged pitch!

Off again, bengeo waterlogged yet again our pitch was perfectly playable. Makes you wonder whether people are really bothered about a game!

Knobs v Angels of Ware called off v Sandridge muddled off

MBDA 0 Knobs 2

A fine victory on a dull, cold, windswept day on a pitch that hadn't been grazed since autumn.
Dunno if anyone listened or even took what was said to heart beforehand but that was exactly what this doctor ordered. No purist football in these conditions so keep hastling the man on the ball with energy. They're gonna need two or three touches just to get the thing under control before they can start their playing. Energy and commitment around the ball, the great leveller. Mind you we had players who want to  get the ball down and play a bit. Hopefully they wouldn't be so committed and I don't think they were, especially first half. It hadn't gone beyond our notice that a couple of their key players started as subs whether for injuries or because they thought we might be a soft touch I dunno but we took the first half and a two goal lead which we held to the end. Second half saw us dig deep and defend bravely against a multitude of crosses and corners. We deserved what we got.
They were slow out the blocks and we had the better half chances in the first twenty minutes, a  long ranger from Chris just over. Their main thrust came from a pacy centre forward but his attempts to play off the last man were thwarted by a canny sense of togetherness by the back four, frequently catching him offside. Vinnie looking a bit laboured on his return from maternity leave was nevertheless causing concern to their defence. He was holding balls up nicely and putting it about a bit. He was rewarded. Springing clear of an offside trap to advance, take it early and  sidefoot past the keeper from just inside the area. 1-0.
Roy was setting the standards from the back with some keen tackling and an unerring ability to utilise anatomical parts some humans don't seem to possess!  Blocker Roy, well done, committed and brave, just what we needed. Gavin arrived on the touchline and became number one sub as arranged and shortly we went further ahead through Richard who toe poked in from a dozen yards following a sustained bit of pressure. 2-0.
Vinnie was capitulating just before half time, shame on his fitness coach and needed a rest. Gavin came on to replace him. We were not without our telling attacks second half but mainly it was a sterling defensive job that saw us home. Gavin could have netted and Andy was desperately unlucky with a cross shot that evaded the far post. Everyone put in a shift and emphasising individuals would be churlish but I'll have a go. Roy excellent, Tony played his guts out and organised well. Alistair coped manfully with a strange position, left back, hit some good passes and his much derided goal kicks were a bonus on the day, he'd put Johnny Wilkinson in the shade. John Boyle great at full back astute positional play with meaty challenges. Chris Wilson a quiet assassin, played great. Darren coped manfully in his first game back from globetrotting, lot of joy with his little drag back trick, 3 times it worked. Andy, despite physical inequality,  really occupied their usually outstanding centre half and tackled back to great effect. Richard played his usual game and wore himself to a standstill with his effort. Not Steve's sort of game creatively but he rolled up his sleeves and defended with the best, only looked heavenwards once! (I'd have brought him back on for a penalty, can you do that?).
Gavin strove manfully for scraps on  replacing the mighty Vinny.  Goalkeeper, the unbeatable Dave? He organised, positioned himself well and caught everything that came at him, almost! And twice succeeded in reining himself in and not clobbering a forward who got beyond the back four. Can't do better than that!
Ron was linesman- hey it's very tiring, especially keeping up for offsides.
Chris Cox was our away support.
A civilised drink in the Royal Oak then we aal went yem chuffed. The title race is not yet run. Hope Des notes this.