Faraway Sir Ronald

It's been on and off for years but finally the time has come for Sir Ronald to be put out to pasture in Pembrokeshire and become Faraway Sir Ronald. Plenty of gardening to be done and the drink is already a distant memory. The KNOBS, who are they?

Goodbye Sir Ronald

Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack

Sunday, 11 November 2012

Tesco Vets 5 Knobs 2 - report by Gavin

On a beautiful sunny day we played rubbish.  That’s it.  We didn’t tackle, we didn’t press and we didn’t pass.  Quite simply, it was a dreadful game.  We gave them 3 goals in the first half, the first one coming from a penalty after a Dave push.  Ally was out run by a fat bloke for the second and then got turned for the third.  To be fair, they were all decent finishes.  After half-time we came out with a bit more energy and we pull one back after a smart finish from Gavin but then we gave another easy goal away.  After they scored their fifth, we grabbed a second, expertly toe poked home on the line by Gavin again.  We had a few chances with Gerry and Joel but alas, they were not to be.

Man of the match – the pork baguettes and the French fries.  It was that disappointing from a team perspective.

BUT what was MORE disappointing was some of the reaction of the players during the game.   Aretha Franklin once sang ‘R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me’ and to be honest, we need to find RESPECT amongst our team.  The continual questioning of our Chairman, Manager, Captain, stand-in Treasurer, Driver, Physio, all round good egg, is just not on.  We also need to show more respect for each other as a team.  Not the kind of man love that Dave shows for Vinny but real respect, where we treat each other with dignity.  Praise is such a powerful tool and one can that motivate.  There is no I in TEAM.  We know that.  In fact it is an anagram for MATE.  And that’s a beautiful thing.  Come on guys.  Let’s pull ourselves together, let’s rise up as one, let’s ‘sock it to ‘em’ next week (as Aretha would sing) and play for the shirt, for the lads, for the prestigious name of Knebworth Old Boys or as we are affectionately known…the KNOBS.  We can do better and we must do better.  All for one, one for all.  As Maximus says in Gladiators "What we do in life, echoes in eternity" and therefore next week, on my signal (against MBDA) ‘…unleash hell!’

118 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a great blog, Gavin for manager. He is all seeing.

Anonymous said...

PS I have a book on sale

Lets have it right said...

Alastair couldn't manage a charity shop!

Vinny said...

Disgusted with the manager today.

Jamie and Joel said...

If that plank is manager next week we are not playing.

Laugh of the day said...

In the showers hearing Dave tell Alistair he done the right thing putting him up front, get your tounge out of Ali's arse Dave!

puzzled said...

Now now babies - back in your cradles and wash your mouths out.
surprised such a strong team lost so heavily. I blame the 'strong team' noone else.

Truth said...

No team today, just individuals telling everyone else how shit they were.

more truth said...

Joel will be coming off after 20 minutes next week and so would Jamie but he wont be there.

Leave Dave alone he was only giving our chairman a bit of man love, yes I know this is usually reserved for big Vin but he has a large tongue.

Anonymous said...

Can we get someone to play at centre back with Tony next week and a goal keeper, we can't carry on like this. Even the shit teams have a keeper

Anonymous said...

You are all shit though!

#KeepItRealLikeIanBeale

Anonymous said...

Earn Respect! By showing Respect!

Anonymous said...

12 comments on a sunday night nowt on tele?
bring back brendan hes good for a dont know what he's good for but bring him back.

fighter not a lover said...

kick respect out of football it has no place there.

Harsh but fair said...

Dave 3 Darren 2 Ali 2 Tony 4 Jamie 4 John 5 Chris W 6 Good Ali 6 Joel 5 Vinny 3 Gavin 2 Chris C 4 Gerry 6 Pork baguette 8

Gavin is right said...

Above is exactly what Gavin is talking about. Some tit comes on here most weeks and gives people low scores, probably to make themselves feel better about their own continued poor performances. Try encouraging team mates rather than undermining them. Do you want people to leave? You'll have no team mates left. Twat.

Keeper / Striker said...

Agree with the above. Not helpful these scores. I left straight after the game yesterday as I had to get the family lunch in. We were going to have a roast dinner until I came across Discovery Mexican Plain Flour Tortillas (8)for 50p @ Asda!

I just had some chicken and cheese in mine but they were still great tasting and great value.

How's that for some positive news for the team!

Gavin said...

Also agree with the above about the dick who post scores! Anyhow, here is my fact of the week - On average, adults in Britain spend more than 15 hours online each week – up by five hours from 2006. Vinny accounts for much of this increase.

Harsh but not fair said...

An 8 for pork baguette, surely a 10!

The Real Gavin said...

I agree with Keeper/Striker/Bargain hunter. You all need cheering up and the best way of dealing with it is a bit of escapist fiction. So...check out 'The Strange School' - available on Amazon and perfect reading for all big kids. Looking at my sales figures on line is the only way I can cheer myself up from my 2 rating. So come on guys...make me happy!

I love you all said...

How about this:

Dave 10 Darren 10 Ali 10 Tony 10 Jamie 10 John 10 Chris W 10 Good Ali 10 Joel 10 Vinny 10 Gavin 10 Chris C 10 Gerry 10 Pork baguette 10

knobs vegetarians said...

Pork baguette 0
bring back some earholes!

Dr Death said...

they're doing new brain transplants at the Lister, two for a million, get in quick, especially before next Sunday.

Vinny's wife said...

I'm not having my hubby subjected to this so hes not available next week.

thoughtful/less said...

Small pitch! Big egos don't fit.
Now the Rec.......

Simples said...

Remember KISS - Keep it simple stupid. We need to go back to basics if we are going to win. Good passing and keeping possession is the key. Who cares if we go backwards or sideways? Let's keep the ball.

AGM said...

Where's the manager?

Adsa Shopper said...

I see John Boyles still in the country. We should hit 70 posts this week.

Tony said...

Dave reminds me of Brendan. Others agree.

the fairest referee of them all said...

The manager is here, exercising the lighest of possible touches so as not to interfere with those oh so delicate personalities who think they've seen it all and know it all now they are ageing crones.
Don't think that by freezing his bollocks off on the touchline yesterday he could have influenced anything so delicate as a brittle personality or an ego as big as a brick shithouse! He was home nursing the post operative recuperation of a needy little dog (no not Maggie).
Now next week it's MBDA, a keeper, sure , (but we aint got one), a fantastic player who commits and does that bit extra, (we've actually got several, time for them to show).
Principles. Work hard with an eye on pacing oneself and positioning.
Lose the ball- get back behind it as fast as possible to cause maximum interference among opposition.
It's a team game whatever disagreements you may have on a personal level (they can't be that major, you hardly know each other).
So work with and for each other.
Dave to man mark their bloke Payne Sunday and see how we go.
I am continuously working to get a team out, behind the scenes , I could try harder but the pay's crap.
But I'll be there and will give my true opinion of the team and the individuals performance toward the team afterwards in the Lytton Arms only if bought a pint of the dark nectar!
Mind you all know better than me and better than Wenger, Ferguson and Mancini et al so perhaps one should save one's breath.
But do you know better than Brian 'Hartlepools' laundryman and char lady Clough?
I doubt it!
So come on turn up and play.

A bit hungry said...

What we need is Bully back at full fitness and back in the team. He is the mayo in our metaphoric egg mayo sandwich.

5 high said...

One could say we need Martin Byron Grange, little Jack Sinclair, Stu Matthews, the original pre arthritic Bill Martin or even the middle aged or younger Ron.
You know the cards, play them.

The real Tony said...

Who ever is trying to stir it between me and Dave can do one. I love him and he loves me!

Anonymous said...

The villa's yours Tony.

Anonymous said...

I thought it was Alistair's arse Dave's tounge was up

Lets have it right said...

Is Chris W really a fitness trainer ?

Vinny said...

Is John Boyles only friend the blog.

Anonymous said...

Wot is a tounge?

Anonymous said...

It's like tongue but the Knebworth version

On the grape vine said...

Chris W is a fitness trainer. I have been told he has been working with Bully for the last couple of years!

Nightfall said...

Be nice to Alistair he is a nice chap who means well.

Obama Barack said...

Leon Osman...first cap at 31. Don't give up hope guys. Jimmy Carter - ex-Gooner - played for Old Owen's on Sunday. He was crap apparently.

Anonymous said...

Not peanut Carter, he's about 80 no wonder he was crap.

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was running its engines on full power behind me.
This was probably, and hopefully the only time in my life, I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should
give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with, was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had ever gone before.


Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen, the 'other half' chose that moment to come and investigate and
was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my 'bell end' pushing a sprout up my arse while
muttering “ooooohhh that feels so good”

Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream, and as I hadn’t heard her come in, it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some remarkable speed in her direction.

I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11.00pm at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she
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to sum it up,

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Anonymous said...

And the next day the hair grew back
i expect- vain fucker.

Clean said...

The post on Amazon was Vinny. This is why he never showers as he has no hair down below.

Vinny's wife said...

Yes it was a review by Vin and the only one who gets near his nether regions is Dave when he gives him a bit of man love.

peace said...

wish Alistair would stop dissin Vinnie- he not like it.

peace said...

wish Alistair would stop dissin Vinnie- he not like it.

Anonymous said...

50th post, yay!

#halfcentury

Another shameless plug said...

Check out the 5 star review for 'The Strange School' on Amazon.

Anonymous said...

Joe Hart! Thinks he's it. But he isn't.
Bring on Foster of Celtic an unassuming giant.

Confident No.9 said...

I'll be doing a Zlatan on Sunday.

give knobs a chance said...

No number 9 this week you are all in goal.

the league said...

who is allowed to handle it?

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Anyone over the age of 35 who can prove they have a dick at least 12 inches long to adequately cling to the crossbar.

Tommy said...

Just bought a new book on kindle, it got great reviews and can't wait to have a read.

Tommy said...

Read the book before bed. It's terrible.

Aspiring author said...

That's my second best review! Cheers Tommy. And much better than my normal football review.

Ron Crennell said...

Players on Sunday Dave, Dave J, Trevor, Joel, Darren A, Chris W, Andy, Gavin, John B, Gerry, Alistair, Vinnie,Tony and Richard.
Several injured or not included.
Availability was good let's hope the performance follows suit.

forgotten knob said...

i am available sunday

cloughie said...

Trevor

John Vinnie Tony Dave j


Gerry Chris Darren Joel

Andy Dave

Subs
Alistair

Richard

Gavin

Old knob said...

Chris W has to play at centre back ! Much more natural position for him, Vinnie is not a centre back. Good Dave must play out of midfield, did not have as much impact when he played up front, then Gavin can start. He's got to come good at some point! I've got a feeling this game could go pear shaped, where is the mixture of us old boys who keep you young kids in line. Good luck Sunday.

Shit Dave said...

Fuck off you old cunt!

Vinny's wife said...

From what I've been told Benny should play at left back, he is much more disciplined than Dave. Dave could be the one that costs you the game, again! So I've been told.

Des said...

Go back to bed John

oh yes said...

Trevor

John Chris Kenny Dave J

Gavin Dave P Darren Joel

Andy Vinny

Subs

Alistair
Richard
Gerry

Anonymous said...

My some people have had sleepless nights worrying about this game.
As long as noone says we'll do well to lose 4-0 we might be off to a positive start.
AGM rules subs regular to give everyone a run.
Trevor
John B Tony Vinnie Dave
Andy Joel Chris W Darren
Richard Dave
Gerry Gavin Alistair

All seeing said...

Earlier comment "even the shit teams have a keeper"
Well you've got a keeper this week so please stop shitting.

Tombola Tommy said...

The lucky kit washer is............. John Boyle!!
You lucky lucky thing you. Im jealous and wish it was me. Suppose i will have to wait my turn.

How will I cope said...

Fucking wanker, my wife is going into hospital on Monday, I can't use the fucking washing machine thingy and now I'll have to drop it off to my elderly mother who is not very well. Cunts.

forgotten knob said...

I'll do the kit

Pissed knob said...

Is any cunt listening, Vinnie is shit at centre back, it must be Chris W. lets fuck these gay boys up.

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