Faraway Sir Ronald

It's been on and off for years but finally the time has come for Sir Ronald to be put out to pasture in Pembrokeshire and become Faraway Sir Ronald. Plenty of gardening to be done and the drink is already a distant memory. The KNOBS, who are they?

Goodbye Sir Ronald

Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack

Sunday, 6 May 2012

Knobs 1 Buntingford 4

A poor end to the home fixtures at dull as dishwater Knebworth Rec. Players looked jaded and devoid of interest or passion. Far too many fixtures arranged for the season perhaps. Next season  we probably should have a dozen or so football games and more bathchair races and pub crawls. yet the league is planning to expand with two new teams, one playing in Welwyn and the other from north of Sandy.
A goalkeeper is a priority however many games we have.
 They didn't create a host of chances but looked and indeed were the better football unit. They deserved their win. A good and fair opposition who were quite energetic in midfield I thought. A good turn out in the Station afterwards was praiseworthy.
Which Knobs played well?
Well Brendan did. Paul was competent at left back and had a good start in goal, being hailed the 'new Dave' before the plaudits went to his head and he let in two snorters. Can't be blamed - he volunteered, an excuse we've hid behind too often this season.
They led half time 2-0 thanks to a neatly placed shot from their CF and a close range stab in from a cross that our defenders and keeper should have competed for more vigorously.
Gavin did some good things but his rare possession was usually from his own foraging. He was ill served. He scored our only goal from a slaloming run from half way which he finished off well.
He was then inexplicably substituted. Was he knackered?
Their keeper saved well and handled well when he went in for the second half. A 30 yard low exocet from Alistair turned round the post being one of his highlights.
Having 14 players for once seemed a distinct disadvantage in that the frequent roll on off subs seemed to bring about wholesale changes to team 'formation' as players tried out a number of positions for size. "How do I look in this?"- fucking rubbish geroff again.
Bill showed his handling skills well in preventing a through ball on goal which would have been a red card in Alistair's reckoning, Two minutes to go, well behind- did it matter.
An opportunity to finish off the season in style against Litlington away but the numbers look unpromising for next week.
Enjoy your rest you lucky people. Wish I could have had the chances you lot had to play the finest game in the world. But alas Father Time's sickle has severed me legs below the knees.
Dreaming on!

26 comments:

the fixer said...

Latest club to join league Broxbourne playing out og Cuffley.

big cock said...

fuck off your shit

Anonymous said...

I love emphasis on the positive.

Note to Ron said...

Dear Ron,

I read your report and am dissapointed to see that the team had you fooled. The real reason we lost was that at least 5 of the players as far as I could gather turned up in no fit state to play. Some of us ran up and down the flanks working hard but when half the team are not fit and the others don't pass to open men we have little chance of competing. Apart from the health issues involved with heavy drinking, letting your team mates down is a crime. Ron, being so easily fooled you should allow someone else to mange next season.

I don't want to point the finger but said...

I agree. It is a disgrace seeing this club fall apart due to the devils of drink. Having said that, we missed chances. Darren missed from 5 years, Richard missed from 8 yards, Phil missed from 35 yards. A goal was ruled out for offside although the player was not involved. All of these were missed in the match report.

Lineker said...

Be fair to Darren, 5 years is a long way out.

Love me do said...

Pissed or not they make themselves available it's their responsibility to avoid looking like prats!

Constructive said...

Hard not to look a prat in that black kit. Both chances missed were not easy. Hardly side foot tap ins and if they were both drunk, even harder!

Vinny said...

i am never in a fit state to play, physically or mentally but i still get picked!

Anonymous said...

5 yards or 5 years, he can't hit a barn door. Useless.

Disgruntled said...

Looks like you were well beaten and still poor. No texts sent again so far this week. Glad we only have a couple more weeks to put up with this. I had a quiet word with next years manager candidate and he guarantees to shake things up a bit! He is well organised and has proven he has the club at heart.

Sarkosy rules said...

I support next years manager candidate.

Phil said...

I have not been in a fit state for 30 years and yet I am still picked

Anonymous said...

Bring back Bully.

Skip said...

Suck my fucking cock you bunch of Cunts!!

Anonymous said...

So it's true then, we are getting a new manager for next season.

god said...

Nothing is true. It ia written.

Anonymous said...

If the drums are right, Big Ron is running the team Sunday. Thank fuck for that.

Anonymous said...

Wot team?

Anonymous said...

I've not been asked either, I'm not one of Dave's mates!

Anonymous said...

I'm in. We're going to smash them on Sunday. I can feel it.

forgotten knob said...

i am available sunday

Ron Crennell said...

GAME OFF on Sunday Litlington could only raise 7.
Still there's June 10th to look forward to and a visit to St Albans for a summery game!

bertie said...

I was never asked to play anyway so you can all fuck off and ha ha ha wankers

Steven said...

Dave is to blame for the game being called off, get him out now!

peeper said...

Buntingford match report gives Knebworth referee high praise as best away ref of season. Dont tell Ron.