Walkern 1 Knobs 7 - Report by Gavin, edited by super sub Darren

What a difference a week makes. From the misery of Easter Sunday to the goal-fest of this Sunday, we showed what a good team we can be when we pass the ball about and have the energy and dynamism of Chris and Ali in midfield – both excellent on the day.

The morning started with Richard heading off to a different venue, and the disappointment for Darren of starting as a sub despite early morning gifts to the manager. Football can be a dirty business at times but it’s good to see that our manager can rise above it. If you are going to bribe Dave, you have to be more subtle.

It’s unusual to put your best players on the bench to start, but it did prove to be a tactical master stroke.

On a pitch that was covered with lots of different athletic markings, very narrow but strangely long, we started off knocking the ball about nicely but space was at a premium. These strange markings did seem to confuse Tony in the second half. He thought he was on the half way line only to find he was at second base on the Rounders pitch.

We finally made the breakthrough with a fortuitous goal that came from a Gavin header (thus claiming it) which rebounded off a defender and a goalie to settle in the net. After a while they went up the other end and scored thanks to a headed goal. At this stage it was a close battle and the game could have gone either way.

It was at this point that Dave revealed his master plan and turned the game in our favour. The starting unit had softened up the oppo, now it was time to unleash the beasts from the sideline!

At once, John (in his new boots and now in his proper position) settled the KNOBS nerves with a well taken goal. A hoof up the pitch from Dave was headed on by Vinny, trapped by Gavin and played back to Vinny who picked out John (steaming in like Carlos Alberto) who thumped it home.

In the second half, a HUGE moment came in the match. Walkern attacked and a great effort by their striker was acrobatically turned round the post by Dave in goal. Was it a turning point? It certainly was. His comedy punched clearance in the first half is now forgotten. That moment from the manager lifted the whole team. He really is an inspiration. (Gavin is a kiss arse!)

Suddenly we were playing total football, led by the surging runs of Ali, the energy of Chris W and the passing skills of Bully. Gavin scored his second with a run and a shot from outside the area. Then Ali scored the first of his three. And that was it…the game was gone from Walkern. A blatant penalty against Richard wasn’t given but it didn’t matter. The goals just kept on coming and some of them were beauties. Ali’s second one was reminiscent of the England v Holland classic scored by Shearer. For Gascoigne and Sheringham, read Boyle and Simpson. Ali’s final goal…the dink over the goalie was lovely and as the Walkern goalie remarked ‘…they’re taking the piss now.’ – ahhh yes…and it felt good. Gavin Mentioned again!!) should have scored six but was happy with his second hat-trick of the season. Defensively we were sound despite the dominance. It could have been easy to get a bit over-confident but Chris G marshalled the defence well alongside Tony. Brendan, Chairman Al and Darren all came forward and supported attack from their full-back positions. Chris C made his comeback and played solidly on the left midfield. Vinny showed that he can play centre-back as well as centre-forward. That kind of versatility could be crucial when we’re searching for a Plan B in competitive league matches.

And that was it. 7-1. Comprehensive stuff without a phantom goal in sight. Complaints were made that we had a young side out but that’s slightly hypocritical given the last match – there were certainly no twenty year-olds in our team. I skipped off early to go back for my gammon roast and therefore didn’t go to the pub but I’m sure we revelled in the glory of it all, although slightly stinky as the showers didn’t work. Oh well. Can we tell Chairman Al the F1 result now? It was Rosberg. Next match is against the Saints at home. The last league match. COME ON!!! Let’s make 3rd our own.