Faraway Sir Ronald

It's been on and off for years but finally the time has come for Sir Ronald to be put out to pasture in Pembrokeshire and become Faraway Sir Ronald. Plenty of gardening to be done and the drink is already a distant memory. The KNOBS, who are they?

Goodbye Sir Ronald

Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack

Monday, 23 April 2012

Saints 1 Knobs 0 - Report by Gavin

The weather forecast for the weekend was sunshine and showers and when you reflect on our league performances this season, we’ve seen something similar. We’ve played some excellent football in patches and on Sunday it was no different but unfortunately we did not prevail against a very good, energetic Saints team that sneaked a goal in the first half that proved to be the difference. It was disappointing and terribly frustrating but now we must plan ahead for next season. What could make the difference? A good keeper would certainly help. To be fair to Dave, he’s actually been pretty good but sometimes (as we saw on Sunday) communication issues occur when players are playing in unfamiliar positions…even the basics like picking up a back pass become fraught with danger. Saints found their goalkeeper halfway through the season and as their manager pointed out, he’s made a world of difference. And you could see it, with confident handling from crosses and great speed off the line to close down attacking options. So it is up to Darren our recruitment officer to find us a new Trevor or hopefully we could welcome back the old Trevor next season, although that rather looks like a long shot. And variations to our play are so important. On Sunday, we saw Saints change their strategy, where they man-marked Ali in the second-half and changed their centre-back to nullify Gavin. It’s the kind of thing we never seem to do and maybe we should be a bit more pro-active at working our opposition’s strengths and weaknesses at half-time.

As for the game…we had quite a strong line-up and had chances in the first half. Bully played Gavin in on a couple of occasions with some beautiful passes but alas, the chances were not buried. Richard found it difficult to get shots in when he received it in a crowded penalty area and John also maybe had a half-chance from an Ali cross but I’m not too sure. He certainly had a bust up with their keeper though…marvellous stuff. Ron was rightly proud in the pub afterwards – ‘that’s my boy’ he said as he stifled back a tear. Chris Wilson hit a lovely shot that just went past the post. Their goal came from the bloke with a lovely left foot but mysteriously it came from his right as he breezed past John and poked it past a non-diving Dave. Defensively we were quite sound throughout, with Darren, Chris G, Tony, Brendan, Paul and Bill all doing a pretty good job against a big lump of a centre forward and their players running off him. In the second half, we didn’t create as many chances, Chris Cox had one apparently and Richard was nearly through again. The defining moment came when Gavin raced past two defenders in the dying minutes only to see his cutback dissect the on-coming Ali and Richard, who would have had an empty net to aim at. Eventually it fell to Tony who blasted over. It was so disappointing and the sheer agony of it all could be seen in the changing room afterwards.

Not in the pub though!!! We had a fine old time. Food came out promptly and much discussion was had about this game, the next game, Bully’s adventure at the Belfry next weekend and Bill getting out on his bike. Ahhh…that’s the pleasure of playing for the KNOBS isn’t it? The pint, the chat and the ribbing afterwards. Did we have fun team??? Of course we did. It was so fun; I’ve already text Dave for next week. Roll on Standon!

League news – Blunham Vets beat MBDA at the weekend 5-3. It means if Blunham beat Sandridge next week (away) they would win the league. If Sandridge win 2 of their remaining 3 games, we could end up being 6th but currently we stand at 5th as Saints overtook us this weekend.

31 comments:

fighting in the coat cupboard said...

Aye that John!
Apparently it's something in the water supply at 20 and 22 Watton Road that turns perfectly rational human beings into monsters from an alien realm especially in the yacketty yak stakes.

Saint said...

The two oldest members of the squad should lead by example, not antagonise the nice men from the opposition. If I take over next season there will be people dropped for this behaviour.

Anonymous said...

you wont be taking over then you fucking cock sucker

Saint said...

At the AGM I can put my name forward and I believe that with my longstanding service to the club and my many years of contribution that I will be victorious. Your bad language is noted.

Disgruntled said...

Shame you lost. Looks like I am not the only disgruntled person in the squad! The match report is scathing of the lack ot tactics and it also seems that we have someone willing to run as manager who is not put of the local mafia. You have my vote. ps. not even received a text this week so guess I am not welcome anymore.

Disgruntled phone addict said...

No one has received a text. I'm disgusted. I've been staring at my phone since Sunday lunchtime.

Daves Mate said...

I got a text early this morning and I am in the starting 11.

Daves mate 2 said...

i also got a text this morning and my place is confirmed

heathy sin free sausage said...

I have not had a text yet.

I luv carrier pigeons said...

what on earth is a text? Is it why i have heard nothing since December?

Anonymous said...

when is my winners medal coming.
Dave for the England job.

Des said...

Dave, what a plank!

Disgruntled said...

Still no texts. Has our manager given up after his failed season? Step down now and give someone else a chance. Not Twiggy though.

Anonymous said...

Is it home or away on Sunday?

knob of knobs said...

Away

Ron Crennell said...

It's away and their bloke says there'll be a vat of chilli afterwards in the Star pub.
Great eh?

RIP Dave said...

Gav for manager- he seems fairly rational and articulate. Is he a dogsbody though?

healthy sin free sausage said...

Fuck all for the veggies I suppose!

Anonymous said...

A vat of chilli? Can't wait to be blowing that out of my arse by Sunday evening. And Gav for manager - you're having a laugh. He can't even motivate himself.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Chelsea, the thief Roman A must be beside himself. Noone else would be.

Read The Independent last night said...

Interesting fact - Messi has missed a quarter of his penalties for Barcelona. They should sign Bully. Actually, do we have any stats on that? I can remember Bully missing two...any more?

Anonymous said...

I know bully has missed loads of passes from short throw ins. Its embarressing.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure Dave has told everyone not to throw the ball to him anymore as he keeps giving it away.

a player said...

He just hoofs it on under pressure and occasionally controls the ball and passes it.Sunday he sliced on backwards giving them a nice attack.

Anonymous said...

Steve, what a plank !

forgotten knob said...

i am available sunday

Anonymous said...

Steve has never had pace but had a good pass, if that has left him we have some good players to replace him

another squasher said...

He can roll onto players effectively.

Ron Crennell said...

may 20th game off due to pitch repairs.

Skip said...

fucking cunts suck my cock

thank fuck for nelly said...

if Sandridge beat Old Minge does that mean Blunham have won the league?