Knobs 0 Ashwell 1

Middlin ti poor! Afew things amiss like the balls being left in Dave's house, Dave taking to the game without gloves (in the changing room), and balls semi inflated but fun can be squeezed from the most inauspicious circumstances. Who was that wanking behind Mark's tree? Cheek!
Three games now without notching. Yet the chances in this game and the last one have been so numerous. Therefore all is not up shite's creek without a paddle. We made lots of chances and chances accidentally fell into our path yet not once did the net bulge. There were some sitters- OK the goalie did well and blocked a few but the rest..... One day soon someone will take a hammering. I've heard Mike Lisle's coming back, quake ye mortals!
A cold morning 11 a side due to us donating the returning, mighty Mark Mills who gave a good account of himself- and providing the high moment of mirth of the first half with his spat with honest Alistair. There's Thursday night history to this tussle (a verbal one). Was it a corner, the ref (me) didn't give it and Mark and Alistair set about appealing to each others honesty. Words such as "cheat" and "bounder" turned the Knebworth air pink if not blue. A change from Tony's self deprecating "cunt!!!" every time that naughty ball deigned to ignore his commands. I'm sure the full back (the one resplendent in Norah Batty headscarf) spent the first half believing the words were aimed at him. "Stop him swearing referee", he bleated. Who's brought a sheep to the game? But by the end he had picked up a few pointers and was "bloody helling" with the best of them.
They had some youth and verve which we did well to deal with. Their commitment was honest and lasting though they did not threaten our goal very much at all, except for the goal they scored midway through the first half. Their forward tightly marked by the over breathing Brendan, turned and shot home nicely into a corner. Goalie little or no chance even if it was a birrovabobblyslowin, so don't worry Dave.
Our injured and back from injured players held up well. Darren A had a very good game as did Chris W. Matty looked much more committed, involved and sharper than he did the previous game and if he keeps up regular playing the goals will come. Steve B is still nursing that hamstring which he aggravated in one of his trade mark tackles, you know the one. But he'll be there next week, wallet in jock strap. Weather forecast seems stormy but we will all be there.
Dave came out second half (of goal that is) to be replaced by Alistair (second half clean sheet/ nothing to do mind). Dave is quite fit at the moment thus allowing him to motor round the pitch fouling people in all sorts of positions in both a footballing and an anatomical way- no anal penetration as yet but Tony is quivering in either anticipation or is it trepidation of next week's confrontation.
Come and see! Dave now known to his mates as "Don't foul". He has promised to change his ways and will be foregoing drink and fouling for New Year- 2025.
Brendan missed another header- he must stop going up for corners, he's becoming a very naughty boy.
A free kick from 25.5 yards by Steve, 39 years and 360 days at the time of writing, Bull was tipped onto the crossbar and came out into play. For all our attacks and corners nothing seemed to drop for us. Unlucky.
The crowd , John Boyle, was interviewed at half time. "What do you think John?"
"I'm fucking freezing". Interviewed at full time- he stayed the course though had to be unglued from the railing, John was of the opinion that.......... then he went. I think he was fucking freezing. Give my love to the boys he signed and was away.
Poor turn out in the Station, seven of us and NONE of them. Pretty poor show Ashwell.
NEXT WEEK:
Steve will be bringing his All Stars (drinkers) to play a Knobs cobbled together from the lame and the desperate. KICK OFF 11.30 am.
Afterwards it's the Station for garlic bread, fried bread, all sorts of bread and onion rings before heading to Rileys (Arsenal game) where the real action begins. Even if you don't intend to play come along and join in the merriment.