Faraway Sir Ronald

It's been on and off for years but finally the time has come for Sir Ronald to be put out to pasture in Pembrokeshire and become Faraway Sir Ronald. Plenty of gardening to be done and the drink is already a distant memory. The KNOBS, who are they?

Goodbye Sir Ronald

Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack

Sunday, 13 November 2011

Old Elizabethans 2 Knobs 1 - report by Gavin Simpson

So…our one game winning streak comes to an end. On a beautiful Sunday morning/afternoon, the team travelled in good heart to Barnet with a couple of new players in tow – Chris’ boyhood chum Ali and Bully’s mate Des. Arriving early, we watched the warm-up game (before the main attraction) and then after a minute’s silence, the game started after Chris G won the toss and elected to swap ends. We are still waiting for the justification for that decision but I’m sure there was one.

The formation for the first half was our 4-1-4-1 – Dave in goal, Kenny, Chris G, Brendan and Twiggy the back four. Bully as the holding midfielder. Richard, Ali, Chris C and Runar were the midfield and Gavin was up-top. Within 10 minutes, any plans Dave had for the next 80 had gone AWOL as injuries led to the departure of Richard and Gavin. Possible long-term injuries. Is there an injury crisis at the club? Who’s in charge of warm-ups and warm-downs? By that stage though we were 1-0 up thanks to an own goal by their centre-back. For the rest of the half, they had the better of the play. Despite some lovely triangles between Ali, Chris W and Bully, there was a lack of penetration up front. It is of no surprise though. One of the main issues of the 4-1-4-1 system is the distance between the midfield and the forward. Against a good team (which Old Elizabethans were) we tend to get deeper and deeper and that makes the gap bigger and bigger. In the second half that was remedied a wee bit due to Dave pushing up more and Bully staying more advanced. At the end of the first half, we let in a goal. It came from a free-kick and as Dave said himself ‘…it had to be a good kick to beat him’ and it was…sort of. Well…he hit it into the corner but from a positional point of view Dave will be disappointed. No clean sheet this week.

In the second half, Des moved to right back, Brendan went in goal and Kenny went into the centre. Ali was pushed forward and Dave came into the middle of the park. It’s fair to say that we had our chances in that half. You could argue that maybe we should have had a penalty but it would have been harsh. From my reckoning, Twiggy missed a good opportunity from a corner, Dave missed one when he was through on goal, Ali missed with a deft chip but the major miss (although I hope we have a ‘no blame culture’ at the club) was from Runar who missed a header from six yards after a lovely ball from Dave. Runar also had another potential chance when there was a mix-up in their penalty area but alas, it was not to be. And to be honest, they missed a sitter also, after (a very tired) Brendan had palmed a cross/shot into the path of their forward who decided to knock it wide. The winning goal came from an in-swinging corner that went in after skimming the head of Twiggy. Oh well. Other than that, there was the normal scrap from Dave (who was remembered from last time apparently…I think that man is getting a reputation!), another thunderous defence header from Runar that went 50-odd yards and Kenny being ‘mugged’ on the halfway. An honourable mention should also go to the little lad who ran the line in the second-half. He made some good decisions.

Overall, it was an enjoyable, competitive game. Either team could have won it, neither deserved to. Ali can come again…a very good compact player. Des as well actually. From the Manager’s point of view, he felt we lacked a bit of intensity today and that might be true but we had our chances. Afterwards in the clubhouse, we were served pizza, chips, potatoes and chicken. Very nice indeed but it would be lovely to see a bit of green one of these days. We’re professional athletes you know.

MBDA next week. Big game. They are flying in the league and we’re on our way up. Late fitness tests all round but hopefully we’ll have a strong team to put out. And next week…no swearing please…we’ve got to make friends with the neighbourhood again!!!

77 comments:

I sent Dave off once said...

Good show chaps though I wasn't there. I thought they might be a good team. Launch of new Rainbow Warrior at West India Dock well attended , mind no substitute for a game of footy.

I mugged Kenny said...

I mugged him big time.

Now Brown Cow said...

How?

Chip Shop Anne said...

Kenny was dreaming of deep fried chicken skin at the time. He likes to dip it in mayo.

ethical committee man said...

woz dave fighting again- full details please.

I was there said...

He didn't really fight. He just hugged one of their men to the floor after he had been turned. In a footballing sense.

two bob knob said...

did he give him a kiss?

debbie on the truck said...

Leave me alone im traumertised. I have a stinking cold and iv run out of milk and sambucca. I have hope though after watching anthony's performance yesterday.

I heard it said...

Comment of the day. Is that the number 14 being a twat again? he was a twat in the last game!

Who is that number 14?

Anwers on a postcard to

Dave Jordan
I Am That Twat
Choo-Choo House
Knebworth.

Steven said...

Dave, what a plank

Big knob said...

Dave your not funny and people are getting pissed off with your behaviour , sort it out!

Anonymous said...

Shut up Bill and leave the manager to sort out the Knobs way of playing.Foul, foul and foul a bit more. It could be fun.

DaveJ said...

If any of you ladies have a problem with me or my management style then see me on Sunday. Otherwise put your lipsticks away and pull your knickers up you bunch of tarts.

The butler said...

We done well under the circumstances, both of their goals would not of happened if we had a keeper, we need to sort out this problem.

Steven said...

No we need to sort out the Dave problem first!

Des said...

Thanks for the game boys, I really enjoyed it, but I will not play under that twat Dave again

Ali said...

I agree with Des.

Knobs hacking cunts club said...

Leave that hacking cunt alone he's doing his best.

Debbie7 said...

Ive been feeling a bit down but what better way to pick yourself up than to get to asda for a rollback special. 20 440ml cans of Stella for a bargain £10. Ive got mine now get down there for yours to help beat the losing blues. Cant be fairer than that can I?

Chris said...

I also agree with Des.

The real Debbie7 said...

Please ignore the post about the Stella. It was an imposter. You all know I only shop online at Asda. The real deal I spotted today is one for the connoisseurs amongst us!

Singleton of Dufftown Single Malt Whisky 12 Year Old - £20!

Normally £30, this is good stuff!

Quality, like my team selections!!

Anonymous said...

clubs gone to the dogs- the new sandy/goldings, noone will wANT TO PLay us next season. your a load of twots and scrotes.

Des said...

i agree and i would not play against you lot

Being serious said...

Dave needs to step down now

Elizabeethen said...

Get your brolly and go manage your temper.

Steven said...

I love you Dave

DaveJ said...

Just so i don't feel left out.

Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,

Anonymous said...

Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,Dave,

Get it right said...

This is not a joking matter, people will not want to play us if Dave wants to fight everyone, and he's ment to be the manager. Sad times for the club we all love.

Des said...

i agree

Et tu Brutus- no, not me said...

Take no notice son of south London keep doing the job.
Mind you however good you do it it'll never be good enough for some.
Issues should be openly debated, a committee meeting was asked for almost 3 weeks ago- zilch has happened. The recruitment was the point of issue then, even more of an issue now the injury list is lengthening and certain grumbles are being muttered pointedly!

points of view said...

Agreed there still no meeting and agreed there is still not many new players (from the village) but theres no need to panic too early. We still have enough personel to cover. Recruitment has been thin on the ground and our duty officer may need to work a little bit harder while hes not playing.

Over-reactor said...

We need an extraordinary AGM. Preferably before Christmas. The club is going to pot. Sack the board.

ron said...

Howay an AGM is a bit strong- first things first, Alistair get off yer arse and call a committee meeting.
This club should be glowing with bonhomie with its history, structure and personnel. Variety- the spice of life remember.

the truth hurts said...

We need big decisions now, sack the manager, sack the chairman, sack the unsocial secretary and sack the rest of the so called committee! Change must happen now and get rid of this pointless blog and the clown responsible for it!! In fact fold the club and start again with people who care about football and the local community!!! Act now, tomorrow is too late!!!!

Anonymous said...

Fuck off Boyle

Des said...

i agree

Anonymous said...

Play only with 'good' players, want to win and be competitive
VERSUS
the true vets principles of playing alongside a few mates, have a bit socialising, hope to win, occasionally, (and do so occasionally), being as competitive as possible but playing with compassion for the aged and the frail.
Which are you?

Des said...

I agree with the first one

Dev said...

Who's Des?

Bob Hope said...

then fuck off Des and go and play in competitive leagues there's plenty round - don't be a parasite on true oldies.
Have you ever bought me a pint- in fact do I know you?

England 3 Sweden 1 said...

Is there a virus around called 'the Des'?
Call for Brendan the eradicator.

Des said...

Whats the fucking team for Sunday and is that twat Dave playing

disciplinary committee said...

3 fights = 1 spit.
Good luck Sunday

Statto said...

We are gonna stuff you lot on Sunday. Is the number 14 twat playing?

dear twat said...

am i in the team?

Santa said...

Am I in the team December 18th, I'm committing my availability early, no fannying around here, proper commitment.

Steve said...

Dave, what a plank

knobbo said...

It seems as the manager has gone missing don't think he likes the comments this week sack him.

senior knobbings said...

well hes manager and he can fight if he wants to. Until he gets the black ball.

Des said...

What chance have you lot got without a keeper, and a manager who doesn't have a clue. It's not hard to work out why your having a poor season, don't ring me again!

The whole team said...

We all agree!

Paul 'Roger you' Gascoigne said...

My Dave's getting some tap this week, deservedly?
He'll probably try to get a strong team to face Stattos crowd- anything wrong with that?
As long as they pay their £20 quid and match fees and buy the committee a pint.
I'm available.

Paul 'Roger you' Gascoigne said...

My Dave's getting some tap this week, deservedly?
He'll probably try to get a strong team to face Stattos crowd- anything wrong with that?
As long as they pay their £20 quid and match fees and buy the committee a pint.
I'm available.

forgotten knob said...

i am available sunday

Tony said...

Agree with Des don't ring me again

Anonymous said...

Alistair Blaney is available. new blood needed.

Anonymous said...

All chums except when it comes to football

statto said...

Team Sunday?
Come on you shits tell.

cider boy said...

Bolloks to tony and des i wont let you down sunday.

Steve said...

Dave you always let us down

transvestite said...

Touche- people dont change

all excited said...

has the team for sunday been announced yet, am i in?

clear as mud said...

If you are not on the list you are OUT.
You are not on the list.
So fuck off.
Your membership rebate is in the post- 10th class.

Saint and cheesy said...

The team has to be

Paul

John Chris G Kenny Dave

Ali Vinny Runar Bully Garry

Andy/ Chris C

try 4-3-3 Sunday said...

I've rubbed out my comments and start again by saying how can chris cox be left out. Gary out of position wide -see Shephall and lots of other issues surrounding people's form so far this season.

one things for sure said...

kennys not centre back

worth my place said...

Not had an email yet i take it ive been discarded becaus of my age. wankers.

New Knobs regime said...

youare not alone!
only worth place if we are very short.

Debbie7 said...

Here's the deal, you know it's getting very cold but you want to look your best so get yourselves down to asda for a Dove Men Plus gift set for total skin care and comfort. 2 sets for £8 so you can give a set to one of your teammates as well, everyone a winner! I'm good to you lot.

Old knob said...

I might be old but I still run more than Steve

debbie in the pub said...

Teqm for tomorrow is

paul

??????????????????????????????????????????

You guess the rest you lovely lads.

Skip

Ron Crennell said...

but do you moan more than steve?
An ego that cant understand that everything going forward must go through him.
Fuck im I always think- -perhaps I should say it.

Ron Crennell said...

but do you moan more than steve?
An ego that cant understand that everything going forward must go through him.
Fuck im I always think- -perhaps I should say it.

Anonymous said...

But steve's Rons grandchild. Ron thinks he's the only ball passer or man of vision in the side. he picked him 3 or 4 years running. Have times changed\?

Lenny said...

3 or 4 year or 3 or 4 stone ago

Steve said...

Where are you tosses, wanna get the goals up.