Faraway Sir Ronald

It's been on and off for years but finally the time has come for Sir Ronald to be put out to pasture in Pembrokeshire and become Faraway Sir Ronald. Plenty of gardening to be done and the drink is already a distant memory. The KNOBS, who are they?

Goodbye Sir Ronald

Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack

Monday, 23 May 2011

Knobs 2 Old Elizabethans 2

Final game of the season and final blog. Hail me hearties. The score draw specialists, yet we've only lost one in the last fourteen or so Kenny reliably tells me.
A fine, very windy day doesn't make it easy on May's bumpy pitches. So well done both teams turning out and playing in a sporting, good natured contest.
First half we played against the gale and were frustrated in our efforts to keep the ball on the deck and find men accurately. I had the sneaking feeling we weren't trying to find our men with any great desire preferring to seek out killer balls, not easy, or putting stuff into spaces where noone was willing or even able to venture. Yet we had chances Matt and Ron ballooning skywards and Phil nearly deceiving their competent keeper with a wickedly dipping free kick. Our competent keeper Monsieur Twigg (Jihn) was tested by low shots which he handled convincingly. They had five subs we had two- any advantage?
Half time 0-0.
Second half we had the gale behind us and threatened. Perhaps we ought to have pressed as a team far more as they continuously attempted to play the ball out from the back. Richard made a fine run down the middle but had his shot smothered by the keeper. John cut in and let fly a screamer which was tipped over and Ron never anticipated Dion Dublin fluffing an easy clearing header, farpost at a corner and was rooted to the spot watching the ball trickle away for a goal kick. Fucking nugget. Then soon we found ourselve two down with twenty minutes to play. A shot hit the bar fell to the goal line and was tapped in by the nearest proactive presence, one of their men. Their second was a sweetly struck snapshot out of nothing.
Our comeback took place when Ron took himself off- what meaning is this? Tony advanced and a lashed a long distance bullet which the keeper saved but spilled and Richard popped home to offer us respite. Phil played a ball round the full back to Richard who crossed hard only hitting their defender, presumably on the hand or arm , which is why Alistair awarded a penalty. Harsh? The palpably injured Steve Bull found his usual spot with great accuracy, just as well since the goalie nearly touched it. 2-2 and that is how it remained.
Thank you all for being such good sports except for leaving John to take the kit home to Nicky once again!
Into the legendary Legion where both sides attended. Only six!
The blog will continue into the summer with stories of training escapades, bike rides and new signings by Darren, development officer and minute taker.
See you on the 10th for presentations at some as yet unidentified Stevenage groghouse.

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

What shappened to the rest of the blog. This club has gone down hill.

bottom of the hill and over it said...

Giz a fuckin chance the keyboard went mad.

My Goal said...

Can you change the 'Richard popped home' to 'John popped home' please?

Make the sandwiches, wash the kit and then get my goal taken away from me.

Let's spice it up a bit said...

Whats th point in having a fucking linesman if the cunting ref ignores them?

I was there said...

Put a name on the pass Steve!!

Blind Pew said...

Sorry John popped up to bumble home on the third attempt- just crossed the line on it's own steam and helped by the wind!

Anonymous said...

who is the main bumbler innerer of the season?
Who is the reincarnation of jesse James- shoots on sight and friggin tough titty the rest of you.

mark m said...

that would be dave

Anonymous said...

Dave? Dave....?
Wrong.

Ryan said...

I'm a vet, 37, looking for a quiet backwater to ply my trade in my dotage. I've a sweet left foot and as a restless knob I should fit in well.

Dave said...

I have decided to run a book on the player of the year award. I do not want to sway the voting by putting the odds on here so please e-mail me with a request for odds on any specific player that you would like a price on.

Good luck,

Dave (paddy power) J

Anonymous said...

Dave i would take any price on you winning fuck all you useless cunt

paddy power said...

Go to fucking bed you prick.

Useless cunt said...

me and the other 10 of you wankers.

Useless cunt said...

me and the other 10 of you wankers.

Dave said...

Lots of requests so far for odds and five bets placed. Make sure you bring your stake money to the awards night.

I've just been to Asda and can report that they are selling the large (400g) jars of Nutella for £1. These were £1.90 when I bought one yesterday.

They have loads left so no need to rush down there.

flutter lover said...

What odds to I get on "forgotten knob"?

need dosh said...

Ask Alistair to offer odds on fat, unfit Tony, then we can flutter happily.

forgotten knob said...

i am available sunday

big knob no balls said...

dear forgotten knob i can see you behind mark mills tree at 10.37 am next sunday for a ball game of your choice. Please leave your mask at home.

Camp knob said...

I would bet on sunbed Tony. I love his spikey fringe and would live it to tickle my hole.

Ron Crennell said...

The level of football banter is plumbing the depths, phew cricket tests start tomorrow.Buck up chaps and play the game.

Cheryl said...

Naebody understands me a knaa how yi feel Ron. Is Bully a mate of Simon?

Debbie7 said...

IvĂ© only been on holiday for 2 days and the shit that you lot (mainly John and Ron)have come out with has´nt suprised me. Keep it up you bunch of Cunts and i wont be thinking of you when beside the pool watching the sexy ladies. It´s bloody hot over here. The bikinis are getting smaller every year!!! Hope it´s pissing down where you are.

Hugs and licks

i take the train sometimes said...

The only watching you'll be doing is of the walls when you're painting them and the floors when you're scrubbing them while the wife and kids are on the beach soaking up the sun.

Bet all that work is making you hot but you better get on with it otherwise you'll get no dinner!

PLEASE NOTE said...

A game for real afficionados or rather pathetic addicts will take place at 11 am kick off away v Guilding Morden on June 26th- our summer tour to leafy Cambridgeshire.
Back before nightfall!

Debbie7 said...

Orrible here today rain pouring down and Im the only cunt at the beach

only turd in the village said...

Dave you're the only cunt full stop.
No I didn't mean it!
Cloudy today here in Blighty, sprinkling of the wet stuff. Gardens happy, not so the humanoids.

Debbie7 said...

Just got home from a lovely day at the beach and then a spot of sight seeing in the near by town where there was a night market rounded off with a couple of glasses of red in an open air restaurant where the local swordfish was cooked at our table absolutely Devine you can't knock this life.

Edwin Coli said...

Lot of food poisoning from swordfish But yi take your chances.
Come on the brutes of Stevenage.

Debbie7 said...

What a fabulous day seeing Stevenage win at a shit ground and watching a shit team lose at a semi shit ground which is wembly all for the price of a pint of cider you can't knock this life!!!