Faraway Sir Ronald

It's been on and off for years but finally the time has come for Sir Ronald to be put out to pasture in Pembrokeshire and become Faraway Sir Ronald. Plenty of gardening to be done and the drink is already a distant memory. The KNOBS, who are they?

Goodbye Sir Ronald

Goodbye Sir Ronald
Quack quack

Monday, 10 January 2011

Knobs 1 Harpenden Rovers 3

Competitive, good natured game well refereed by Chris Griffiths.
A frost covered pitch in the first half gave way to a heavy gluepot in the second.
In the first half, kicking up after Dave had won the toss, we were very competitive and energetic and were well worthy of our 1-0 lead. This came courtesy of an energetic piece of harrying by Andy which saw him finally win the ball and slap it home. Did Steve then hit the bar?
Well done, competing for the right to play on that surface the prime target.
Second half our fitness levels showed and we never achieved the pleasing shape of the first half. Any attacks we mounted were sporadic, with our players often finding themselves in less than splendid isolation. We were stretched going forward though remained fairly compact defensively, mainly because we couldn't get bodies willing and able to go forward. An unlucky equaliser followed on the hour. Unlucky in that the winger seemed to have carried the ball out of play before crossing for the goal. The linesman (me) far away on the other side and not in line could not be definite so a goal stood. The second goal was well worked after we were robbed in possession going forward, Mark left stranded? and the third came from the full back's chip - misses 999 times out of a thousand. Who perpetrated the travesty of a scissor kick clearance? Own up.
Our two best attempts came from solo efforts from Andy. First when he ran through their team with the ball, from just outside our area but allowed the keeper to save his shot- straight at him- great run. That would have been 2-0.
A diagonal 40 yard ball from M. Fish was exploited by Andy but he screwed his shot just wide of the post- 3-0. Electric efforts nevertheless. They just kept plodding on with consistency but we might simply have ran out of puff- they used their 4 substitutes continually, their stints on the sidelines never stiffening them up, so they seemingly had fresh legs. In the interests of cohesion, flow, old fashioned principle and a belief that old men coming off then going back on stiffen up badly, I can never bring myslf to go for roll off and on. Am I wrong?
Possibly, probably not, doubt it. Fuck off anyway. Chris Cox took the kit. Others be prepared we know who you are!
Poor opposition attendance in the pub where they missed the Knebworthian culinary innovation of cheese on chips accompanied by a rather smokily suffocating BBQ sauce- a racy little number. Chloresterol to die for.
Next week that attractive away fixture against our bosom pals Sandy- line up you masochists.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

At least we won the toss, eh Dave??

best tosser offer said...

someone else can do the toss at Sandy. I don't want to spoil my %100 record at home. At this point i would like to thank certain individuals for their input on whether to kick up or downhill, is the sun low or too low and does the keeper prefer what end. I would'nt know what to have done otherwise!!

tosser teaser said...

Think nothing of it tosser!

tossing now said...

wrong tactics, wrong players, fuck off

as it is said...

Daves shit

Tell the truth said...

Dave is shit. He even lost the toss.

Dave said...

Yes i am shit,but i don't give a shit. I shall except it as a term of endearment you wankers.

Pongo said...

I would except it as a word of endearment also. Definitely.

The sweet FA said...

Knebworth Vets Code of Conduct;
Play up and play the game
Play fair you bastards
Love your team mates- they've turned out
Enjoy putting the nets up
Stay and help take the nets down
Take a turn sweeping out the changing rooms
Dont urinate against the trees
Dont clean your dirty bits in the shower or is that dirty boots
Dont buy Ron a drink it only encourages him
Ask yourself have I taken the kit this decade
Pay your whack or whack your lot
Smile when you're losing
Smile when you're winning
Smile it's Sunday it'll help you through the week
Don't whine, whinge or complain
Share
Don't swear
Be fair
Think of the bears
Vote Green
We will prevail

Anonymous said...

Hi Lads, good to see the banter and team bonding is still there! Talking about still there, Ron that must be a thousand years you have been manager!(you must be doing something right) Must catch up soon, maybe a 5-a-side jaunt on Thursday?
Happy New Year to all.

Bertie said...

Bonhomie.
Fuck off.

new boy said...

Who's in charge Sunday and who is taking the kit?

know it all said...

You are in charge and you are taking the kit Dave.

Tony said...

I'll take the kit. I havn't done it all season.

I know who you are said...

Dave stop causing trouble

manners said...

I'll take the kit and wipe my arse all over it- only thing its fit for

i will be there said...

i'll take the kit and shit in daves bag

Dave said...

I can take the shit but can't do the kit! Done it twice already. Step up to the plate you non shitty kit washers.

Capn Birdseye said...

Dave can you go fishing? Distinct lack of fatty acids for Sunday. If you hook him semaphore Admiral Alistair he's making yous walk the plank this week.

Dave said...

Ron, have you been drinking cod liver oil again

Shit stirer said...

Can we have a list of players who hav'nt washed the kit please. That would show who has the team at heart.

Barrel scraper said...

Team for Sunday
Mark
Darren A Brendan Alistair Dave
Tony Richard Ron Darren H
Chris C Mark M

Anyone extra coming now is on the bench- except the bench is a metaphorical one , you have to pretend

Big Bill Thompson said...

Hoy Bill where are yi?
Fancy a game Sunday?
Or perhaps anotherSunday it;s up ti ye.

mystic meg said...

will Sandy win 5-0?