League (cough, splutter) Knobs 4 Goldings 2

Sunday afternoon, post afternoon dog walk, told off by a farmer (my day?) I report a comprehensive win against a team with at least four 20 year olds in their side. So well done you knobbies. It's their older lads who you have to watch, however. Ne'er has so much swearing ricocheted from the rafters of leafy Knebworth! What can yi dae?
Early on a perceptive through ball from Steve, he knows you know, saw Gavin sprinting onto it, taking it in stride, into the penalty area then slotting home with ease. Pick the bones out of that Ben Gunn! They should have been shitting bricks and probably were. Well on top, playing some lovely stuff and missing quite a few from a combination of bad luck and bad finishing. Their chance came from Paul's pick up of a back pass, the lad's learning though, those booming clearances- well done. (And a terrific low save in the second half). A second goal came after Gavin tore through the 'heart' of their defence and was crudely hacked down from behind before he could slip it home. The 'young' perpetrator would have had no complaints if he'd been dismissed, having earlier stopped another goalscoring chance by a superb double handed save. He argued the toss, "not dangerous!", despair all ye proponents of Corinthian play. Still it's Vets football we divvint send people off, not just yet anyway. Unstoppable powerful penalty from Steve- 2-0. Their linesman was having a blinder and I had to go with him. I know he was at fault but what can you do? Like the offside he gave against Mike who was walking away from their half and the ball was retrieved by their full back, noone near him for 40 yards. Martin chased up to him and took the ball from him and their linesman and their little dwarf (number 4) wanted an offside against Mike 2 hours earlier! Well pardon me if I'm a makkem prat but I don't think so. And so the abuse went on, still goes on and will go on. As well Phil Wells wasn't reffing. We are an incredibly childish species are we not?
We lost both Chris G and Roy to injuries and early in the second half our lead was cut by a soft one and doubts started to occur. These took the form of continued imaginative football, promiscuous waste of chances created and an increasing tendency to bicker among each other and criticise each other's shortcomings- "I'm not passing to you you always miss", " you can talk Stevie Wonder" and "what's that growin out o yer foot yer nob?". Had Big Bob insidiously crawled into tiny minds? Togetherness was reinstated and superiority assured.
Fortunately we scored a peach of a goal from Monsieur Boyle. A deft flick finish with not a little courage. Gavin was back on with his bad back upand bristling, dribbling through their defences at will- ole, ole ole- quoth Debbie-here-to-stir-the-urn. They break and score but Gavin chips/centres in our fourth from wide left. All that remained was for their little and getting littler number 4 to get sent off for nutting the referee. (I was that referee). He does it all the time they said in mitigation , "like that every week"! Yes, well he was the one who tried to nut Bill when he was referee two seasons ago! The boy's got form. No style, precious in the way of style, native humour and wit, pathetically peabrained but a certain kind of form and consistency. I was quietly incensed. "You, you, you.....premature ejaculator you, clear up your droppings and leave the field." He went, trudging slowly away, bellowing "cheats", "fucking cheats" and "fucking fucking cheats" for the next 10 minutes.
No class. What a tosspot! Midget syndrome?
A feel aafilly better noo. A wiz ounly tryin ti be canny ti each side like. But wi some folk yi canna dae owt ti please them.

I must report an open goal miss of extraordinary glaringness by Matty first half, spotted by a Mr Steve Bull founder member of Stevenage's Spot the Glaring Miss Club.
Thanks to Bill and Dave for the tea. A little more tea in the tea next time lads!
One member of opposition hit the Fox- many of them were under age I suppose, where the beer and Matty's chilli sandwiches were just the ticket.
See you all soon.


Another recidivist (but not like the number 4).