Welwyn Pegasus 4 Knobs 2

A sunny day ,
Not very satisfactory organisation wise. Not my fault. Having arranged the game months ago, having confirmed it Monday afternoon I was told they were struggling to get a team out, don't worry we'll lend you a player. He promised to confirm Tuesday. I phoned him Thursday, oh he forgot, sorry, yes game on. Oh but it's 2 pm ko, a bit of a change from Monday!
No-one was unduly affected by this in our set up- I don't think.
11am Sunday morning, Andrew phones. Problem no referee, will I do it? There goes my game. Yes. Oh and there are no changing rooms. Great but it's a sunny day and perhaps our bollocks and arseholes need a good airing. Oh and I won't be there says Andrew, better things to do, no doubt, than bollock airing on a balmy Sunday- Man U v Chelsea on the TV, Ryder Cup and possibly a soupcon of shagging! (where's that cedilla? Got yiz there!).
Anyway we proceeded to the game on the vast acres of Monk Walk school playing fields in Welwyn. They had 13 players, and I had agreed to referee, me who loves to play rendered an obsolete cipher with a whistle! Such is ageing but I'd given my word because none of them lot wanted to ref or didn't have the guts or the wind. You might gather by now I'm not a little pissed off. To add insult to injury and this is not an excuse for defeat or for any diminution of enjoyment to be gleaned from the game, after all we're all fortunate to be able to bend over and put shorts on at our ages, never mind run joyously through 90 minutes of lovely football, they fielded a few lads. When I say lads I don't mean lags. Put it this way, the father of two of them, in his forties, was playing right back for them. He must have sired them when he was 10! And they weren't just fit they were superfit, could play quite well and were motivated to do so and crush our ancient limbs into the dust. Little turds. You cannot compete with that , short of resorting to dubious equalising tactics and neither Jack Sinclair nor I were playing!
On to the game. We could have won and should have won so well done in many respects. Our approach play was incisive, sometimes excellent, especially first half but our finishing was unlucky and sometimes poor. In the second half when we scored our goals, again we played some good stuff but sometimes erred by being over elaborate and too pretty. We were always chasing the game by then and Chris Griffiths had his hands full at the back when everyone seemed hellbent on going forward. Trouble was an acreage developed between our defence and attack which their roll-on, roll- off youngsters exploited. Then again they only scored 4 , good finishes but in my opinion not that impressive a score. Steve Bull scored from an excellent snapshot and Gavin rifled in his first of the season from a sort of good move.
As referee I was taken to task when the ball was out of play, hoofed into the great green yonder, for stopping the watch. This by their ageing but not aged midfield player. The ball must have been 30 minutes out of play, usually slothfully brought back by their young keeper who presumably only recently learnt to walk. I was told I wasn't allowed to do that, stop the watch that is. Do what I fucking like besides I only have rudimentary knowledge of its workings- the difficult part is starting it again, don't you find? Anyway apart from the time added on being to the advantage of both sides in allowing 90 minutes play to take place, this geezer reinforced his view by putting me firmly in my place as he sid he was a fully qualified referee of 15 years experience. Well fuck me, I'm just a little runt or even a little c... with nothing better to do on a Sunday than trot meaninglessly around blowing a little whistle now and then. Why aren't you reffing your game I asked him in a reserved way, "you're doing a grand job", he retorted trotting off. That took the biscuit. I was pissed off and still am and am considering my position, again... I was offered 20 quid in the pub for reffing but I declined. Broke as I am I still have a smidgeon of pride.
The sandwiches and chips were plentiful in the pub not so the opposition, there was us and two of them. Pity!
Dave and missus and kids feasted on the banquet.
Roy sustained an injury, Bill pulled a hamstring, John Boyle is in pain but in denial and from last week Richard and Phil are injured, the latter long term.
To complete a wonderful day I got to take the kit.
Sandy next week away- good grub at least.

Am old enough to know better
Cry baby cry