Knobs 2 Harpenden Rovers 3

Fury…we’re all full of fury.  Brendan furious that we weren’t attacking more at 3-2 down, Gavin furious that he went for a punch instead of a simple catch, the groundsman furious that the game went ahead (he doesn’t know that yet), the Chairman furious that the shorts don’t add up, John furious that his umbrella has broken (don’t mention the wally and the brolly).  Fury…fury everywhere!

We had a good team out…we should have won with ease.  Despite the horrendous conditions we played well.   There was some lovely inter-play between the whole team throughout the game but ultimately we did not finish our chances.  Yes we scored 2 but we should have had 7 or 8.  After early pressure, we got the breakthrough thanks to Nick side footing home a cross from Paul after he broke the off-side trap.  It was a very open and attacking game, with both sides being stretched.  It was certainly the case in the first half that we could have utilised Martyn and Brendan more on the left hand side but overall at half-time we looked quite comfortable.  Having said that, the weather was with us in the first half, with a strong wind helping, very much like the game at their place.  And like the away game, we did not have enough goals in the bank when we turned around at half time.
Although as soon as the second half started, we showed some real attacking intent with Woody now joining Paul upfront.  Again, some of their inter-play as an attacking partnership was very impressive and if we could get them playing together more, it could be a potent combination.  It was Woody who scored the second but even he would admit that on another day he would have scored a hat-trick, if it wasn’t for some very good goalkeeping and some more composed finishing. 

Their comeback started from a corner when a ball whipped in on the wind was headed home from close range.  Their second came from a free-kick that was poorly dealt with from Gavin and one of their players pounced to stick it in the back of the net.  Their third came as the game opened up even more and on a breakaway, one of their midfielders slotted home.  A more accomplished keeper would probably have dealt with all three goals better but that is the nature of Sunday football.  We should have been well ahead by that stage but alas…a miserable morning ended up with a miserable scoreline for the KNOBS.

It was especially disappointing as we played them off the park at times and they knew that as well.  They couldn’t believe they got three points out of it.  Well done to all the players though who played so well at times in difficult circumstances.  Gerry and Brendan were solid at in their full back positions, James and Tony were defensively strong, making some vital interceptions and James provided a threat at set pieces.  Darren, Nick and Bully worked well gaining a stranglehold in the middle of the park.  Richard worked tirelessly as ever and Martyn was always willing to have the ball on the left.  He should have scored one but hey…what can you do?  Paul played really well up front and should definitely have scored two, one superbly saved by their keeper and the other…well, it would be rude to dwell to long on what might be considered an open goal, although the ball did come to him at pace on a very muddy surface.  Paul offers much more than a goal threat though, his hold up play is impressive and really gets stuck in for the team.  When Woody came on he was a constant threat and Chris Cox battled well on the right hand side.

Thanks to all the supporters who turned up in the horrible conditions.  I was particularly impressed with Tommy’s climbing skills to retrieve a ball from the tennis courts.  No game next week, so we can have an extra week rueing this defeat.  It’s only football but my goodness, it can be a cruel mistress.

Knobs 0 Goldings 4

First half frost, and a good display during which  Goldings threatened Knobs sit in keeper
not once. We were so superior yet had failed to score.
Second half heavy clarts mitigated against any attempts at purist football. In possession we were trying to be far too precise, not in the least expansive, no popping the ball down channels and feeding Paul' s strengths and we failed to score. So what went wrong, what brought this superior outfit to its knees? 4-0! Well I was shite. Say no more. Oh alright just a little. Having saved a straightforward shot which reared up and smacked me in the clock I felt a smidgen ill at ease. They almost scored when they poked a 'shot' tentatively toward goal , everyone was amazed I made no attempt to intercept it as it puffed, farted and trickled toward our unguarded goal only to come to rest against a post! They finally scored. A farty kick towards our goal from the top wing was inexplicably waved on its way to nestle inside the post. I'm perfecting that manoeuvre, I've done it before. How on earth did it happen? The second was shite. How the bloke on the right was onside I don't know, but he squared to the centre forward who popped it into an unguarded net. Well strictly speaking it was unguarded all game but on this occasion the keeper was not at fault. Should have advanced and cleared lines for next one  and ignored the baleful , bleating of "Tony's ball". It wasn't and it was poked in. Their lucky day. A goalkick that was under hit for a six year old soon saw number 4 being notched. At that moment I retired giving Richard his debut between the sticks. He thereafter kept a clean sheet. It was only left for a last minute fracas involving you know who, Grandad, who wanted to flay first Martyn then James as he stoated around like a blind beast. Drew humanely blew a final whistle and as far as I know Grandad is still reeling round Bramham searching for the next target of his psychopathic ire. It could be anyone , please Grannies don't approach him it'll only make him worse, perhaps he'lll be worn out given a year's prowling and gnashing of teeth.
No one went to the pub, any pub.... A first. Tiotte goal offside! Such was the day but at least Man City were in a contest.

Knobs 2 Walkern 6

Close first half on a heavy pitch. Thought we'd weathered their best , creative play  after the first 20 minutes and we turned round half time only a goal down from an unchallenged header from a corner in the 45th minute. Unfortunately we faded in the second half kicking downhill and they  kept going.
We equalised straight after the break from an excellent move commencing in our 6 yard box leading to a fierce shot by Richard being parried by their keeper only for Bren to race in and smash home. A period ensued where we were punished three times by breaks following our giving the ball away (and I mean giving it away) and they were out of sight. Another goal, from the narrowest of angles ensued due to total lack of physical presence of some defenders. They certainly would not have made it so easy. Dave left goal to become man of the match in a cameo display at full back. We played some of the best football of the game in this last phase, failing to hit the target with final shots and having one well saved. Bren (him not t'other) poached another from inside the six yard box. The older  Brendan had by this time replaced Dave in goal and had conceded before even getting the gloves on. Appalling back pass, no chance the keeper. Martin was nutted by his opponent who was asked to leave the pitch. He did and in fairness he came back and apologised before leaving Knebworth altogether. Still it was a game and a wholly advisable activity to act as a festive season antidote.
A merry gathering in the  Station which was roomy and civilised for once. Everyone little fingers!
Merry Christmas and happy New Year to all
Be happy!

Knobs 0 Old Owens 2

A poorish performance yet we were hardly kicked out of sight . Indeed for an hour we trailed only to
a fortuitous early goal, a cross shot evading the sprawling dive of stand in keeper Gavin. We'd hit the bar in the first half and Martin crashed one against the bar before we were awaded a penalty.
Woody had dispossessed their keeper who yanked his legs from beneath him. Up stepped Steve, who never misses his favourite hotspot low to the keeper's ......... yet 'twas ordained he should thrash it miles over. Twas written in the runes, simply had to happen! They scored a very good goal on the break, finished with a well struck shot.
All so hopeful at the start when we eventually got underway with our 11 against their 9. Perhaps we sniffed a huge advantage since they said reinforcements were on the way. Yet they controlled all the early exchanges. We had started badly flicking and farting about, the ball a hot potato, rarely under anyone's control and passing to each other a distant memory. There was effort and application but we seemed unable to get started.
Some points:
Their keeper, for whom the league rule was established that a keeper can be 25, took a lifetime and a half to retrieve the ball and take his goal kicks. Time wasting? Well it's certainly pretty fucking boring. Can't understand why people make an effort to get out to play a game then do everything they can to reduce the time allocated for the enjoyment of said game. He was like an old 68 year old and I should know!
The goalie rule was introduced three years ago to facilitate Owens participation in the league. I was and am still opposed. We had no goalie more often than not these past years and outfield players fill in. Other teams do the same. We had a chance to have a 24 year old keeper yesterday but chose to play by the 'rules' and put one of our most potent players in goal.
It was noted that a couple of their makeshift side were a tad on the young side, a centre half whose early sallies into shaving extended only  to his head and either a very young forward or one who had defied the ageing process since puberty! We have recourse to challenge- league rules but it's so demeaning and whiffs of sour grapes. Back to birth certificate swapping  pre kick off.
Onwards and upwards 2014.
Woody left early to see Spurs. How did they get on?
None of the opposition showed at the pub and four of us did.
Merry Christmas, Checquers 7pm Thursday.

Saints 1 Knobs 5 - report by William Wordsworth

At this beautiful autumn time, here is a report in rhythm and rhyme.
At The Station we met (well half the team) where Ronald was missing but he had a scheme.
A piece of paper was handed on, 4-5-1 he wrote and then he was gone.
So off we headed for the early start, to St. Albans to play with great heart.
And we started well, with plenty of passing, that left their players, running and gasping.
But from a corner they scored a goal, where the ball rebounded ‘into the hole’.
Which was met by their player with an almighty thwack, that left poor Tony on his back.
He said that ultimately he couldn’t see but why then (we ask) is he our goalie?
A few minutes later, we understood why, when he saved with his feet – what a good guy!
After some struggles, we finally scored, when James carved through the defence like he was a sword.
Scored with a deflection, into the corner, he was as pleased as punch, like little Jack Horner.
Along came the second, with a run down the wing and a pull back saw Nick doing his thing.
Bursting into the box, with those little legs, he shot home under pressure off one of the pegs.
The third came along with some brilliant play, with Martin’s passing and Paul’s great off-lay
Gavin controlled the ball inside the box, and tucked it away like a cunning fox.
The final goal we saw in the first half, came from a Bully free-kick (he’s back on the staff)
And it was pretty much over when the whistle blew, a 4-1 lead was mighty and true.
In the second half, the pace settled down, the pitch sometimes resembled a ghost town.
But Paul kept on hustling and deserved a goal, with a fantastic run and some quality control.
It’s true to say they hardly had a chance as we gave them the runaround, a merry dance.
At the back we were solid, a state of bliss, with Chairman Al, Tony, James and Chris.
In the midfield we battled, really fully, with Nick, Martyn, Richard and the returning Bully.
Up front was Paul getting better and better, and Gavin breathed hard like he was wearing a sweater.
Chris Cox came on and passed it around and it was nice to see Brendan come up from the town.
So there you have it, another victory and we all went home for a nice cup of tea.
Three on the bounce, we’re going up the league but next week, we might see a little fatigue.
Old Owen’s at home, with plenty away but let’s see what happens next Sunday!

Sand ridge 0 Knobs 1

Well well! A victory in time added on . Deserved? Possibly, no, no probably.
It was a very well fought game, in good spirits and purist football did not come easy on a bouncy, difficult pitch. But full marks to the team for a real battling performance. Tony, a tower of strength in goal,  will be outstanding when he gets a bit more experience! Two world class saves in the second half, the second a backward flip with 90 degrees difficulty to turn a looping effort over left one simply lost in admiration. The back four gave them nowt with James a rock. Paul was heartily involved in nearly everything going forward and his overhead kick from the edge of the area was brilliantly tipped over by their keeper. But if one was so churlish as to award a man of the match award I would have no hesitation in giving it to the steadily improving Brendan, Walkden not Wren.
Of the many passes he made forwards I cannot recall a single one not reaching its intended target. And many of them were subtly dangerous turning us from defence to attack. Excellent. Of course I take full credit for sorting out the penalty taker before the game, in the absence of the much lamented Steve Bull. Brendan, Walkden not Wren, immediately volunteered so there was no hesitation when he strode forward to beat their keeper from the spot, late, late late. The keeper, said to have been an ex pro, got a hand to it but the power did the job. Joel had won the kick when being jockeyed by their centre half then had two legs swiped from beneath him from an impatient late arriving defender. No complaints from anyone. Tony K was 41 today and his birthday was celebrated with a banquet of sausages - we'll probably have a sausage at centre half next week.
Two good  games coming up but I fear availability will not be good. Goalkeeper anybody?

Blunham 0 Knobs 2

After two weeks of sheer mayhem in the life of Knebworth Old Boys, we looked to the heavens for inspiration and today, the great Lord of football delivered.

Many of us met at the station and we looked at our manager Ron and sang ‘Guide us, O Thou Great Redeemer’ and he turned round and said, good luck chaps but Chairman Al is in charge, I’ve got things to do.  BUT before he went off on his merry way, he handed the 12 commandments to Al, (otherwise known as the team sheet) and all was calm in the world.

At Blunham’s new ground in Caldecote, the team all introduced themselves to each other and we strode onto the pitch as one.  The KNOBS, the mighty KNOBS.  And it was clear within the first 5 minutes of play, we were there to win and win we would.  No animal is more dangerous than the wounded one and after the shenanigans of recent times, all was forgiven and a new era was born of pressing football and some lovely triangles and one touch play.  We had a few opportunities in the first half but we only had one goal to show for all our pressure and that was Gavin slotting home from a tight angle, thanks to nice work beforehand from Martyn and then Paul.  The only chance they had was Chairman Al trying to nod home from one of their crosses.

In the second half, the game opened up even more but again, we looked untroubled.  James at the back was a rock and anything he missed (which wasn’t a lot) was swept up by croaky Tony.  We eventually won by two goals but it should have been more.  Paul on the wing, was a Strong Deliverer, strong Deliverer and put a beauty of a ball onto the head of Martyn who found the back of the net. Inexplicably it was flagged offside.  The worst decision was to come though.  After Paul had netted our second after a weaving run and pull back from Gavin, he found himself running onto goal and was brutally hacked down by their centre back.  No penalty was given.  Even their players couldn’t believe it but as the ref says, he can only give what he sees.  One assumes he was looking the other way at that point.  But it didn’t matter in the end.  An away victory.  And some nice grub as well put on by the Blunham football club.

Normally you’d be looking around for a man of the match but in this victory, team was everything.  There is no I in TEAM and Together Everyone Achieves More.  Working from back to front, Tony C was cool and collected in goal, he held the ball with thy powerful hand and offered no Cruyff turns.  Chairman Al was solid at right back, as was Brendan who is Mr Consistent.  The centre-halves have already been mentioned but as a back four they looked solid the whole time.  Darren A and Nick in the centre midfield hassled and pressed the whole game and knocked the ball about nicely.  I’m still surprised how well Nick hangs in the air being a little fella.  As Brendan said, he’s like LeBron James.  It must be his magical ‘tache.  Don’t shave it off Nick or you’ll be like Samson.  Martyn has already been mentioned but his all round play was very good and always supported the forwards.  Gerry was his normal energetic self on the right hand side, working well defensively and offering an attacking option.  Chris Cox came on at half time and got fully involved in the action and the two up front complemented each other well.  Paul is getting better with each game he plays, although he’s got to watch those yellow cards!!!  And Nick.  A disgrace.  RESPECT!

So onwards and upwards.  When it comes to that kind of football, feed me till I want no more.  Feed me till I want no more.  KNOBS were born, KNOBS had died, KNOBS have come again.