Knobs v Blunham

Match off due to highly debatable weather forecast.
Our community leaders love a bit of power. It's gonna rain, boo hoo! Wimps.

Knobs 1 MBDA 3

Sunny day, hard fought physically energetic game. They had some very good players and played as a team but Knobs gave them a hard battle.
Either side could have taken the lead unfortunately, after half an hour, they did. It was one of those goals where they had a bit of luck with the bounce of the ball and a close range shot, nearly stopped on the line by Chris, ended up in the net. We were breaking well at speed but our crosses were poor and easily dealt with. Their second goal  was fortunate with Dave stumbling over as he pursued his man with a goal the result instead of a direct freekick to them if you get my drift! No real concerns as I felt with the energy we were putting in and the closing down, pressurising and tackling we would be sure to be rewarded. Unfortunately we lost Dave, the forward one, with a pulled hamstring but though Richard slotted in nicely,  I felt Dave, who  has been a real potent addition, would be a big miss over the piece. The third goal could have been the killer but it wasn't really. We won the ball, cleared to our right where they far too easily gained possession. Andy could have made a better effort closing down the crosser but across it came toward our far post. Dave should have been alert to ensure it went out safely but wasn't. Their nippy winger, just on, nipped in and scored from very close in. Horrible. Dave perhaps should have been helped out from urgent calls from his teammates but I didn't hear him receive any.
Anyway shortly afterwards we saw Andy burst forward and score high and handsomely from over 20 yards. Soon it was 3-2.. No flag for an age and Joel raced forward to hit a beauty from the statutory 20 yards. But what did I hear, a fluttering of a very, very late flag. The goal was disallowed as the linesman, Les, a qualified referee, informed me he waited to put up his flag when our player moved toward it from an offside position. Nuances? Anyway it sounded a reasonable explanation to me and offside was given. Still 3-1. In retrospect, though I cannot be sure, I felt Joel was all the while running onto the ball yet the  flag stayed down for quite a time and therefore when it fluttered it was very late flag indeed. In fact a very naughty flag!  Half time 3-1 and kicking down second half we were still very much in this game.
Surely we could not keep up this physical effort, no we couldn't but neither could they. No further goals ensued. We played very well, second half, at a less frenetic pace. Joel in particular was unlucky with a rasping shot toward the top corner only for a deflection to take it just over. Richard met a corner well with his head, too well, and a good chance was gone.
Well done to all. I thought we were unlucky but I am sure all would agree that they had played in a proper game, a throwback to pre Vet days. I am sure with half of that commitment Tescos would have been effectively closed down and liquidated last week.
A fair show at the Lytton where patience was needed waiting for the food.  It was good to have Trevor back in goal and for his contribution to post match numbers. Please could blokes make an effort to show at the pub if even for 10 minutes on their way home.
next week Blunham , aka Sandy, at home

Tesco Vets 5 Knobs 2 - report by Gavin

On a beautiful sunny day we played rubbish.  That’s it.  We didn’t tackle, we didn’t press and we didn’t pass.  Quite simply, it was a dreadful game.  We gave them 3 goals in the first half, the first one coming from a penalty after a Dave push.  Ally was out run by a fat bloke for the second and then got turned for the third.  To be fair, they were all decent finishes.  After half-time we came out with a bit more energy and we pull one back after a smart finish from Gavin but then we gave another easy goal away.  After they scored their fifth, we grabbed a second, expertly toe poked home on the line by Gavin again.  We had a few chances with Gerry and Joel but alas, they were not to be.

Man of the match – the pork baguettes and the French fries.  It was that disappointing from a team perspective.

BUT what was MORE disappointing was some of the reaction of the players during the game.   Aretha Franklin once sang ‘R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me’ and to be honest, we need to find RESPECT amongst our team.  The continual questioning of our Chairman, Manager, Captain, stand-in Treasurer, Driver, Physio, all round good egg, is just not on.  We also need to show more respect for each other as a team.  Not the kind of man love that Dave shows for Vinny but real respect, where we treat each other with dignity.  Praise is such a powerful tool and one can that motivate.  There is no I in TEAM.  We know that.  In fact it is an anagram for MATE.  And that’s a beautiful thing.  Come on guys.  Let’s pull ourselves together, let’s rise up as one, let’s ‘sock it to ‘em’ next week (as Aretha would sing) and play for the shirt, for the lads, for the prestigious name of Knebworth Old Boys or as we are affectionately known…the KNOBS.  We can do better and we must do better.  All for one, one for all.  As Maximus says in Gladiators "What we do in life, echoes in eternity" and therefore next week, on my signal (against MBDA) ‘…unleash hell!’

Knobs 5 Ware Strollers 2

This will be short and to the point.
 A well merited victory, hard and fairly  fought,  not too difficult but not easy either. We had to take them through  high tempo play and good football- and we did. I can remember times when we would spurn such opportunities and struggle and lose against lesser sides. So well done. Having said that we created and failed to take countless chances, so again well done for the former but must do better in the latter department. Heavy rain meant the pitch became a bit of a gluepot from early on. We nearly scored within a minute when Dave, the handsome one, burst through from the right and fired into the side netting thence into the net. I initially gave a goal- blind boy! Who is supplying our velcro?
They had a bit possession without any end product and we soon took the lead. Andy's cross across the box was completely miskicked by the defender - it fell to Gavin- he doesn't miss those, well actually he does, but on this occasion he found the bottom corner.
An excellent long range floater from Jamie was pleasant on the eye heading unstoppably to the top corner. Dave- not- Jordan scored with a nice finish from a crowded position and he could have had several before half time, one hitting the bar and another effort from the narrowest of angles being cleared off the line. Gavin hit the bar also, from very close in. Dave J in our goal had little to do as we turned round at half time 3-0 up. Paul Crosby having shown he still has it or something at left back now replaced Dave in goal for the second half.
We continued to make and miss chances until we notched our fourth on the hour. Memory lapse please help.
We lost Twiggy to a twigged calf , his words not mine and Jaime went off injured shortly afterwards.
We had enough subs so all was fine. Paul tipped one shot over the bar, excellent and was generally competent in his handling bar the simple ball he dropped at the foot of their bloke on our goalline. Soft!
4-1.
Tony launched forward on a rare raid and tucked away a cross for number 5. Bobby Charlton said those 90 degree passes are the hardest to hit first time. He was right so well done Tony. They scored a second in the final moments when their bloke seemed an eternity offside but our struggling linesman could not raise a flag so they had a second.
Several notable performances but I think Chris W and Joel were consistently up for it- competitive and setting the tone with very hard yet fair tackles.
Lytton Arms was  packed but the food was approved of yet again.
Next week we are away to Tesco Vets in Cheshunt. Hope people are keen to play. The followiing week if we can field our most energetic side I am convinced we can take MBDA. It's down to you boys.

Knobs 1 Old Minchendenians 3

Give them a home game, a reasonably strong team and an extra hour in bed and look what happens! They fuck it up.
In fairness to the Old Minchies they played well, they were energetic and they played for each other.
We were simply too individualistic, nice in parts of course but all too spasmodic. I felt also they were much grittier and much better at closing down.
I said at half time we, too many of us, want to hit killer balls and sure enough this trait continued into the second half to absolutely no good effect for us that is . We needed to mix things up a bit, vary it, play a few shorter and safer balls. We were all too ready to give the ball away which we were very effective at doing. Get it down, wait for support and play it a bit. It's vets' football you have more time!
The game's major incident came off the field when the crowd , Steve Bull, got into an altercation with their manager, running the line, my old mate as it happens. In an exquisite reversal of the Arsene Wenger position , as referee I claimed not to have seen or heard anything! Which indeed I hadn't.
The crowd refused to kiss and make up but the situation did not deteriorate.
Gavin went close twice in his first outing as skipper before out of the blue they scored. Alistair clearing his lines unopposed smashed it against a neighbouring body and it bounced up to their midfielder who volleyed home neatly.
Second half saw them nod in from close range from a poorly defended corner. Poorly defended in that there were three decent opportunities to clear, none taken, and they were pressing in numbers. I felt they were dangerous from all their many corners throughout the game whereas our corners, though enticing, were spurned. Must do better in this department.
We eventually got one back through Gavin advancing into the area and letting fly with an unstoppable rasper. 2-1. Plenty time with all to play for, but were we running out of steam?  Yes we were. Mark Mills, made a good break, onside from their linesman, but failed to capitalise. That could have been the turning point.
They were certain to notch with their centre forward through with only Debby to beat. He got that bit right but the ball flew off the pesky post and he dribbled it over for a goalkick. My stalwart linesman Brendan took some stick from the swelling crowd, now augmented by Joel and Vinnie,  for his non use of his flag on this occasion. But no damage done.
They scored a soft third with minutes left , when with all danger gone Mark inexplicably moved out of the way of a ball coming across which fell to their unmarked and surprised centre half who happened to be loitering and he wasn't going to miss. he didn't!
A jolly spread at the Lytton, properly served, indoors, was enjoyed by all, but sadly too few of us.
next week, chance to make amends at home to Ware Strollers.
Quiz questions , "do we miss Steve Bull?"
"Are referees and linesmen the only people who don't cheat?"

Therfield 9 Knobs 4

Close game.
Lots of chuckles in dressing room as news of the chocolates from Alistair to Brendan did the rounds. I thought it was nice. Chrysanthemums for me this week to assuage the pain of the damaged ligaments.
Tom Martin made his season's debut only hours before the imminent arrival of number two child.
Commitment! A true veteran in the making. He played very well on a heavy pitch against a rustic Therfield side.
A tight fifteen minutes was followed by a swift unravelling. We defended , won the ball , I glanced away and somehow we gave them the ball and in the moment it took me to hockle, twas in the net.
Piss poor! Two goals swiftly followed, the googly and the one that went straight on with the arm. Nought for three. Oh before this we'd effectively gone down to 10 when I succumbed to a little snap in the knee. (Lateral ligament diagnosed this morning, that's it, had a good run).
We pulled one back when a terrific cross from the Debby man reached Mark Mills who glanced in with head, shoulder or larynx. They scored again, a proper goal this time. 4-1 half time.
Oh but earlier in the contest, their man, you know the one, got involved with his rancid mouth and threatened to obliterate such bonhomie as was doing the rounds. I suppose he can't help it, some form of Tourettes syndrome but lacking any humour or intelligence. He left a nasty mark through Debbie's fishnets mind.
The tackle of Debbie and their bloke was six and two threes an "f" and two "c's", except in Alistair's eyes who considered our lass was the perpetrator.. Not in my eyes. Both go for ball both have feet off ground and crash! Noone hurt thankfully but affords an excuse for Banana Brain to have his two pennorth of crap. What constitutes a humour transplant?
Two aliens bedecked in lycra, pinks and turquoises and other less subdued colours arrived to watch a bit. Twere the injured Chris G and Bill on their bikes. Lovely they looked.
Second half with Richard pushing forward saw us create chances and we were soon back to 4-3 with goals from Richard and Chris Cox.
They scored a few more by which time Richard had hobbled homewards with a calf strain. Our nine still managed one more from a rampaging Brendan, finding the roof of the net from an Alistair cut back. John Twigg got very angry after a hard tackle, very two footed in his tackles, from Fat Shite- No Humour-  Smelly Bot Boy. It was marginally legal but John apologised for calling him a "cunt". Naturally he can't handle apologies. An unpleasant oik.
Thank you Dave for deputising in goal, at last minute and thanks to Tom.
Not an easy week to get a side out. But who cares? I do or used to.
I see Old Owens have failed to get a side out now for three league games. Hmm!
Next week we're at home, if we can find our way there, to Old Minchendenians. Bring your brollies to the Lytton for the enjoyment of your dampburgers.

Harpenden Rovers 3 Knobs 5 - report by John Dory

It’s the eternal debate – the answer to the economic problem of scarce resources and infinite wants.  Command vs. Free Market – equity vs. efficiency.  What is it to be?  It was the key debate after the game and it took away some of the attention from Dave’s magnificent 4 goal haul, the return of Trevor and the way we nearly snatched defeat from certain victory.  But what is it to be?  A league game where we desperately wanted to win but no man creates victory and no man creates defeat.  Equity vs. Efficiency.  A tough question and one no government has answered but can we answer it at Vets football.  We need to check the constitution.

We were outstanding in the first half.  We should have been six or seven up.  There was some beautiful football being played with some great inter-linking between Ali, Darren, Joel in the centre of the park, Dave (the fulcrum up front) and Richard and Gavin on the wings.  We had plenty of chances but only two were taken by half time – Dave slotted in at the back post after their keeper failed to collect and Gavin banged it in off the cross bar after Ali had teased their defence in the penalty box.  We let in a sloppy goal but it was hard to blame Trevor with the sun streaming in his eyes.  Dave blamed Tony for giving the free-kick away in the first place.  Unity is strength.  As Blair used to say ‘We’re all in this Together’ or was that Cameron?  You can barely tell them apart.  So at half-time we were 2-1 up and cruising.  Defensively we looked solid with Twiggy playing well at left back and Chris Wilson sweeping behind Tony.  Chairman Al wasn’t doing too badly either at right back and all was hunky-dory.

Substitutions (it was argued) changed the game but some could argue it was their change of formation and personnel.  Harpenden put away their passing game (they know they couldn’t compete) and started to lump it forward.  And it worked.  We looked a bit more hurried despite scoring a third with Dave sweeping in a lovely second.  This is not Dave Jordan by the way.   He came on huffing and puffing on the left flank and it was his throw on that led to the fifth goal.  This is new boy Dave who looks a very composed finisher.  We certainly need one of those!  Brendan came on and off and was only the man in the team to be part of a clean sheet.  Everyone else let in two more goals.  Both from bouncing balls and crosses in the box.  It was hectic stuff and Trevor saved our bacon with a save from a free-kick that he tipped on to the post.  At 3-3 more substitutions were made and eventually we won the game with two more goals from Dave.  One was set up by Joel with a lovely cross from the wing and the other was set up by Ali with a bit of help from Chris Cox, I think.

And that’s how it ended.  5-3.  Race for top scorer is on.  Andy must be looking over his shoulder.  There is a new man in town and he’s called Dave.  But not Jordan.  And he doesn’t have red boots.  Showers were warm, the pub was lovely, the bacon butties were great and it was all rather convivial as you would expect when visiting Harpenden.  No doubt the debate will rage on about equity vs. efficiency but for the time being we’ve concretised our position at the top end of the table and long may this continue.