Goldings 5 Knobs 1 - Report by Twiggy

What a cock up all round! On Saturday night after emailing and texting everybody and putting the team up on the blog, I assumed that we would have 13 players. By Sunday morning this had turned into 9 and a half. Apologies to Jamie and Joel – it would appear that the “up-to-date” list of players’ emails and telephone numbers didn’t have you on it after all. I did wonder why james-buck@sky.com failed to reply to the two emails I sent him asking whether he was going direct – not surprising because he wasn’t you in the first place! All this and I had refused two players a game as well, thinking that 13 would be sufficient, not knowing that Crossers would cry off after his funny turn at the Olympics Park on Saturday, apparently the effort involved after being asked to say “Bonjour” in English proved all too great.

And so it was with the rest of the ten who started on Sunday. We could easily have beaten Goldings with any eleven of our players and probably could have done the same with ten if we had approached the game with something akin to a positive attitude.

Right from the start it became clear that it wasn’t our day when Bully missed a penalty in the opening minutes after Richard had been scythed down in the area. Bully was clearly out of breath at that point and despatched the kick limply and wide, not at all with his usual aplomb.

During the first half we played some excellent football with Chris W, Phil, John , Darren and Bully linking up well in spells. Golding’s efforts were poor given our one-man deficit, which eventually told when a long looping cross was volleyed in at the far post. Chris W responded for us but after another fluky deflected attempt from Goldings went in we retired for our half-time talk 2-1 down.

Chris G seized the moment and decided that he would like to make changes….but then realised this might be made more difficult by the -1 on the subs bench.
We were still in it though, and had several good chances before conceding again. The floodgates then opened when Phil had to retire half way through the second half to fulfil family commitments, a goal and disputed penalty ensued, end result 5-1.

ChrisG, Bill and I made it up to the Golden Griffin in an attempt to eat 11players’ sandwiches, sausage rolls and pork pies.
Tellingly, the oppo enquired as to why Bully had his arse in his hand all match – can’t imagine why?

Sack the management I say!

Blunham 4 Knobs 1 - Report by Gavin Simpson

To be honest, we could have probably won it. Looking back, if we had converted some of our chances in the first half the game could have been radically different. Talking of radical, the curse of Mothers’ Day struck again and the team on Sunday compared no comparison to the team the week before. Some would argue that the ageing side was the reason we lost but as I’ve already written, we could have won it. But before people criticise the team, a lot of the time it is said that we win as a team and we lost as a team but I think it is important to point out that we win as a squad and we lose as a squad. All eleven players featured for the 90 minutes. That’s tough against a team who knock it around like Blunham do. It was okay in the first half but it became more difficult in the second half and as the game got stretched we became more vulnerable and hence the goals they scored. Now…onto the game. Twiggy had a difficult selection dilemma as we had a lot of defenders but that didn’t stop us attacking well in the first half. Gavin had one tipped round the post and dreadfully dallied at a second opportunity when clear through. New player Gary hit a barn-stormer that just went narrowly wide and there were a few other scrambled attempts. Paul didn’t have much to do in goal until the last few minutes when a long ball over the top led to a one-on-one. We were all willing him to come off his line to close the striker down but alas, he went the other way back on to his line and that meant 1-0 to Blunham. In the second half they came out strongly with a new formation and we couldn’t cope. We were starved of possession and soon found ourselves down 4-0, with their 4th goal being particularly good. We still had chances, Brendan had a header saved, Gavin blazed one over and saw a weak header go wide. Finally we did get a goal as Des rampaged forward with Tony on his outside. He chose not to pass to him and it somehow ended up ricocheting off a defender, Gavin passed it back to Brendan who unleashed a ripper of a shot from 40 yards (divided by 4) past their keeper. Only days before he had scored a goal for a Rest of the World XI vs Latin America XI – he’s on a roll!!!! I forgot that minutes before that a blatant penalty had not been given and in the final seconds Martin (our other new player) headed just over from a corner. It was a tough game, played in good spirit and for a while in that first half, we played some lovely passing football with Bully, Ali, Tony and Martin being particularly effective. We were pretty solid at the back with Chris and Bill in the back four and like I said, Paul rarely had a save to make. So…our league run has ended and the fight for 3rd place continues. Well done to all those who turned up and put in lots of energy. It was disappointing not to come away with something. Anyway, onwards and upwards!!!

Knobs 6 Old Minchendenians 2

In the end, well after about 15 minutes it turned out to be a comfortable win. A return to form?Not really this was a new Knobs, the immediate future, on the whole strangers to each other on the 'turf' of the Rec. Probably the youngest Knobs team out for many a year and each and everyone of them looked comfortable and involved. The old guys John Boyle and Dave helped them settle in.
Some good football was evident from the off with Knobs showing verve and pace. I can hardly remember all the details of how the goals went in what with trying to referee and working out who I am! Yet the first saw their centre half fall victim to a bouncy pitch when his sliced clearance was seized upon by Andy and comfortably slotted home. Murmurrings from their number 4! The second was headed in from a corner by Ali, not that Ali, and the murmurrings grew.
The third was goal of the game as Steve launched a delicious pass down the right which was gathered swiftly by Andy. He wasted no time in crossing to the far post where the newly arrived Gavin, in a game, on the pitch and on the spot headed his first. We were threatening frequently and could have been more than four up at the interval. Number 4 was ankle tapping, though it was all out of my vision anyway he got me neighbour chirping. A murmur here and a chirrup there, all very spring like.
What else happened first half? Dave's flying save or was that second half? There was also a terrific drive which the keeper tipped over, probably a shot from Phil. A wee altercation between Vinnie and their midfield general.
Second half saw them come a little more into it, but only a little, but by then they were 4-0 down courtesy of a fiercely struck shot/cross from Andy out right which flew into the net via a post. An impossible angle? No such thing obviously.
A Knobs penalty appeal for blatant handball had been turned down at 3-0, for several very good and intricate reasons . Occam's Razor, Tony, cut through the rhetoric, "you bottled it"! Probably a tad correct. The fifth goal was a nice one. A first time pass from Phil took out their defence for Gavin to speed onto and delicately put away. They scored from an unnecessarily conceded corner, an own goal at the near post. Gavin's speed off the mark, terrible boots by the way, saw Knobs get a sixth and they scored a second somehow. I was coming to terms with my identity crisis and wasn't paying close attention. Don't remember. The last 15 minutes was goalless as substitutes came and went in the glorious sunshine at the rate of one a minute.
New players Joel, Craig, Ali and Jamie put in good shifts- and attended the pub afterwards. All in all some excellent effort and enterprise which was pleasing on the eye. Huge crowd, mainly travelling support.
Next week it's Mother's Day and away to Sandy- an improbable mix. Hope a team will emerge to compete.
See you all at the Team Meeting in Old Stevenage next Friday night.
Au revoir.

Knobs 3 Shephall 2

We scored 3 like last week but this time didn't concede 5- c'est la difference!

We had 14, tricky for the sub meister. Enter on-off Phil to point out the dilemmas. He was possibly man of the match for positioning and being able to pass the ball to a fellow Knob, but Chris W put in a ferocious shift as well.

Incessant rain created a mud heap well before the end so that the first twenty minutes when some clever football might have been possible was vital. Neither side took advantage of this time slot and the outcome was a slog with the final result always a little in doubt.

A first goal finally came from Andy slaloming across the mud before unleashing a distance shot which the keeper fumbled over his head and across the line. They all count. Earlier Dave pulled off a cracking diving save which diverted the ball onto a post, along the line and away to safety.

With Vinny fretting to be away to assuage the wife's angst we didn't look terribly threatening going forward when we rerached the last third. We lost the effective Ali for a time when his boot was reduced to a carpet slipper but he came on to good account in the second half having borrowed one from the departing Vinny. On such small things are great events decided.

Half time 1-0.

Kicking downhill after the break should have been a doddle against a much less physical side, surely the smallest we face, yet it was not to be. In fact for a twenty minute spell all cohesion and togetherness seemed to have deserted the Knobs. (Criticism- Jamie spent a vital period as flagman- it's hard I know). They equalised from a shot, following an unecessary freekick from our left that diverted unstoppably off Tony's back. Could we avoid collapse? We could. One of umpteen corners flew across the area to where Phil had sensibly positioned himself beyond the far post- he unleashed a screamer via the underside of the bar to put us ahead. The corner went out and came in? Not from where I was standing. Their better placed linesman did not flag either. Andy embarked on a couple of solo runs ending in shots that went for power but went over. Our third was controversial , to them. A ball knocked forward toward an offside Andy was ignored by him and by everyone else except Phil, who running from an onside position retrieved the ball. A pass across goal ensued, which was dispatched by Andy.

3-1. Yes the pass was on a forward trajectory but the receiving player was behind it when it was played and ran onto it. Offside, definitely not, Phil?

They immediately broke and pulled one back when a shot from range slid through the net, nearly erred there, thanks to Ali, nuff said, 3-2 and so it remained.

Can't report on pub since I retired to the sofa to 'enjoy' the rest of the Newcastle- Makkems game.

Only one team in it and Newcastle more than deserved the point. That Clatterhole, what a prat of the lowest order. The 30 seconds-in leg breaker on Tiotte should have been a straight red miles before his true colours were shown after the final whistle. Can't take it, gives the referee abuse- the ref doesn't take it , gives him a red. post match entertainment! Cattermole, thick as a brick as well as narrrsty!

LATEST!!!!!

Apparently Dave gave Darren a black eye in a bit of high jinx- the showers were freezing again- the opposition failed to make the pub (cold showers,hardly surprising) and the 'food' was so late in arriving that Steve and Tony had gone home hungry. We are obviously irrelevant in the food queue at the Station, why do we bother? The grub is NEVER remotely on time for us.

Knobs 3 Old Accies 5

Not outplayed, far from hammered, Knobs suffered their first defeat of 2012 at the feet and lungs of not so old Old Accies. A bright, sunny morning probably enjoyed by all apart from the result.
Neat football by both sides promised a proper footballing occasion and so it proved but they had that little bit more energy to roll out over the 90 minutes. An early change in midfield took place when Chris Cox succumbed to a calf strain. This probably led to too open a game without Chris's buzzing presence. Still Knobs took the lead when a free kick was given after a thrusting run by Ali was illegally stopped. Phil's free kick rocketed off the bar and was neatly tucked away by Darren new boots. They equalised softly when a penalty was given for a possibly harsh handball against Jamie. End to end stuff then they took the lead when a break was converted by their hairy winger. The most hair seen on a Vet for many a year and not a gray one among them- suspicious! Immediately from the kick off Knobs equalised with the goal of the season for cheek and execution. Kick off to Ali who it rolled back to Phil who scored from his own half with a phemenal punt over the keeper languishing near the edge of his area.
They scored a third on a break from our right touchline when a quick throw left three of our players ahead of the ball. First an excellent head off the line by Chris, I think, stalled them but they quickly netted when unchallenged. Half time 3-2.
Second half we threatened frequently and ill fortune denied us. A John cross shot hit the post and other shots were scuffed or larruped wide. An unfortunate keeping error led to their fourth. Sufficient to say it will enter the annals of Knob's part time goalkeeper howlers. Yet still we threatened but seemed to be running out of steam. Dave came out of goal to beef things up and Joel cracked one in to make it 4-3. Near the end they broke and from a resulting cross their man lashed in an unstoppable fifth. John had a neat snap header just wide from a fierce Joel cross and Dave might have headed in near the end but seemed to lose his bearings.
The pub was quiet. People raced home to watch the footy, Spurs were 2-0 up and some Knobs were purring. What was the final score by the way?
Taraa!

Ware Strollers 0 Knobs 4 - report by Dandy Dave

Now that there's no snow to be seen i would have expected a pitch that was sodden and full of mud. In fact i was surprised because the pitch we played on was sodden and full of mud! I was also surprised to find that we turned up at the ground with no kit. It took us all 10 minutes to realise that the kit hadn't made it's way to the ground as Jamie forgot to pass it on to the nearest consenting adult (there's not many of them in the team) That said we were offered an oversized kit which was originally set aside for the Bengeo fat fighters club. Well played Ware Strollers for the offer. Little did they know we were going to beat them comprehensively in their own shirts. The game kicked off with us playing against a low lying sun on a very muddy surface which we coped with better than we have in the past. From the off our back 4 were resolute and strong with lots of encouragement and positive talking .Chris G and Brendan played like a pair of seasoned pros snuffling any chances that came Ware's way.Ware's lone centre forward who had a low centre of gravity wasn't given any chance of turning to make space for himself to shoot. If he did have any opportunity he was promptly closed down by Ally, Chris, Brendan or Darren. Well done,solid to the final whistle. Once we found our rhythm we began to play some attractive football especially in the middle where we had 4 players supporting Bully who was stroking the ball to our wingers or wing backs. In saying that it was master craftsman Bully who played a wide ball out to Darren who found himself in acres of farmland before unleashing a thunder bolt of a shot which ripped the top corner of the net. To say Darren was ecstatic would be an understatement. His new boots have already paid dividends. It's what the game was asking for and it put us in the ascendancy 30 minutes gone and a Bully corner found the head of John B who dispatched a nice little flick on to make it 2 nil. Some say it was an OG im not so sure can anyone clarify? The second half started as usual with us taking our foot off the gas and letting the oppo play football. We put ourselves under alot of unnecessary pressure. Lucky for us Ware didn't have decent enough players to give our keeper any problems. Please feel free to make your comments on our keepers performance. Trevor seems a distant memory at the moment! We weathered any storm that was put in front of us and after 20 minutes Vinny found himself in a position where he could have made it 3 nil. Instead he found the tallest tree in Bengeo to kick the ball at and it nestled in the branches approximately 120 feet above sea level. Not to be down beat he found himself in a one on one with the keeper 3 minutes later which some how ended up with the ball being smacked at him and rebounding in to the net. Vinny's second and 12th of the season was a sumptuous placed shot using the defender as a foil and curling it in the bottom corner of the net from 18 yards. Lots of chips bread and pizza at the White Hart afterwards which saw a pretty good turn out.The 451 formation is working well at present although some say it depends on your personnel or who you play. I think its about getting the right blend of character and who's up for the fight! I couldn't fault our back 4 plus subs. The midfield were tight and did not shirk from their responsibility's, eg-: Steve Bull slide tackling in our penalty box and taking out Chris G. Un heard of!! Both wingers making a nuisance of them selves and central midfield being the engine of the team, whilst our lone striker whether it be Vinny or Andy was a hand full to say the least. I wouldn't hesitate to pick this team for next week. Talking of next week we are playing UCL Accies minus John B who only plays on certain Sundays iv' e been told. Get a fucking grip man, at your age you should appreciate playing every game.
A quick foot note:- Did our keeper have a good game? Answers on a post card.

Tutty Bye!

Sandy /Blunham v Knobs cancelled

Cancelled due to winter. We have a full fixture list so I do not know who we should scrub in order to fit in a rescheduled Blunham game. Suggestions?
Of course we could suggest May 29th, a Saturday date or a midweek evening date, they must have lights at Biggleswade.
Next week away v Ware, in the league, winter permitting.
Nothing much to say now except I see Newcastle won again and are above Arsenal in the league.
Cisse and Ba, cor blimey, wait till we get Tiotti and Cabaye back!
Bye Bye.
Cocky Pike.