Knobs 1 Buntingford 4

A poor end to the home fixtures at dull as dishwater Knebworth Rec. Players looked jaded and devoid of interest or passion. Far too many fixtures arranged for the season perhaps. Next season  we probably should have a dozen or so football games and more bathchair races and pub crawls. yet the league is planning to expand with two new teams, one playing in Welwyn and the other from north of Sandy.
A goalkeeper is a priority however many games we have.
 They didn't create a host of chances but looked and indeed were the better football unit. They deserved their win. A good and fair opposition who were quite energetic in midfield I thought. A good turn out in the Station afterwards was praiseworthy.
Which Knobs played well?
Well Brendan did. Paul was competent at left back and had a good start in goal, being hailed the 'new Dave' before the plaudits went to his head and he let in two snorters. Can't be blamed - he volunteered, an excuse we've hid behind too often this season.
They led half time 2-0 thanks to a neatly placed shot from their CF and a close range stab in from a cross that our defenders and keeper should have competed for more vigorously.
Gavin did some good things but his rare possession was usually from his own foraging. He was ill served. He scored our only goal from a slaloming run from half way which he finished off well.
He was then inexplicably substituted. Was he knackered?
Their keeper saved well and handled well when he went in for the second half. A 30 yard low exocet from Alistair turned round the post being one of his highlights.
Having 14 players for once seemed a distinct disadvantage in that the frequent roll on off subs seemed to bring about wholesale changes to team 'formation' as players tried out a number of positions for size. "How do I look in this?"- fucking rubbish geroff again.
Bill showed his handling skills well in preventing a through ball on goal which would have been a red card in Alistair's reckoning, Two minutes to go, well behind- did it matter.
An opportunity to finish off the season in style against Litlington away but the numbers look unpromising for next week.
Enjoy your rest you lucky people. Wish I could have had the chances you lot had to play the finest game in the world. But alas Father Time's sickle has severed me legs below the knees.
Dreaming on!

Saints 1 Knobs 0 - Report by Gavin

The weather forecast for the weekend was sunshine and showers and when you reflect on our league performances this season, we’ve seen something similar. We’ve played some excellent football in patches and on Sunday it was no different but unfortunately we did not prevail against a very good, energetic Saints team that sneaked a goal in the first half that proved to be the difference. It was disappointing and terribly frustrating but now we must plan ahead for next season. What could make the difference? A good keeper would certainly help. To be fair to Dave, he’s actually been pretty good but sometimes (as we saw on Sunday) communication issues occur when players are playing in unfamiliar positions…even the basics like picking up a back pass become fraught with danger. Saints found their goalkeeper halfway through the season and as their manager pointed out, he’s made a world of difference. And you could see it, with confident handling from crosses and great speed off the line to close down attacking options. So it is up to Darren our recruitment officer to find us a new Trevor or hopefully we could welcome back the old Trevor next season, although that rather looks like a long shot. And variations to our play are so important. On Sunday, we saw Saints change their strategy, where they man-marked Ali in the second-half and changed their centre-back to nullify Gavin. It’s the kind of thing we never seem to do and maybe we should be a bit more pro-active at working our opposition’s strengths and weaknesses at half-time.

As for the game…we had quite a strong line-up and had chances in the first half. Bully played Gavin in on a couple of occasions with some beautiful passes but alas, the chances were not buried. Richard found it difficult to get shots in when he received it in a crowded penalty area and John also maybe had a half-chance from an Ali cross but I’m not too sure. He certainly had a bust up with their keeper though…marvellous stuff. Ron was rightly proud in the pub afterwards – ‘that’s my boy’ he said as he stifled back a tear. Chris Wilson hit a lovely shot that just went past the post. Their goal came from the bloke with a lovely left foot but mysteriously it came from his right as he breezed past John and poked it past a non-diving Dave. Defensively we were quite sound throughout, with Darren, Chris G, Tony, Brendan, Paul and Bill all doing a pretty good job against a big lump of a centre forward and their players running off him. In the second half, we didn’t create as many chances, Chris Cox had one apparently and Richard was nearly through again. The defining moment came when Gavin raced past two defenders in the dying minutes only to see his cutback dissect the on-coming Ali and Richard, who would have had an empty net to aim at. Eventually it fell to Tony who blasted over. It was so disappointing and the sheer agony of it all could be seen in the changing room afterwards.

Not in the pub though!!! We had a fine old time. Food came out promptly and much discussion was had about this game, the next game, Bully’s adventure at the Belfry next weekend and Bill getting out on his bike. Ahhh…that’s the pleasure of playing for the KNOBS isn’t it? The pint, the chat and the ribbing afterwards. Did we have fun team??? Of course we did. It was so fun; I’ve already text Dave for next week. Roll on Standon!

League news – Blunham Vets beat MBDA at the weekend 5-3. It means if Blunham beat Sandridge next week (away) they would win the league. If Sandridge win 2 of their remaining 3 games, we could end up being 6th but currently we stand at 5th as Saints overtook us this weekend.

Walkern 1 Knobs 7 - Report by Gavin, edited by super sub Darren

What a difference a week makes. From the misery of Easter Sunday to the goal-fest of this Sunday, we showed what a good team we can be when we pass the ball about and have the energy and dynamism of Chris and Ali in midfield – both excellent on the day.

The morning started with Richard heading off to a different venue, and the disappointment for Darren of starting as a sub despite early morning gifts to the manager. Football can be a dirty business at times but it’s good to see that our manager can rise above it. If you are going to bribe Dave, you have to be more subtle.

It’s unusual to put your best players on the bench to start, but it did prove to be a tactical master stroke.

On a pitch that was covered with lots of different athletic markings, very narrow but strangely long, we started off knocking the ball about nicely but space was at a premium. These strange markings did seem to confuse Tony in the second half. He thought he was on the half way line only to find he was at second base on the Rounders pitch.

We finally made the breakthrough with a fortuitous goal that came from a Gavin header (thus claiming it) which rebounded off a defender and a goalie to settle in the net. After a while they went up the other end and scored thanks to a headed goal. At this stage it was a close battle and the game could have gone either way.

It was at this point that Dave revealed his master plan and turned the game in our favour. The starting unit had softened up the oppo, now it was time to unleash the beasts from the sideline!

At once, John (in his new boots and now in his proper position) settled the KNOBS nerves with a well taken goal. A hoof up the pitch from Dave was headed on by Vinny, trapped by Gavin and played back to Vinny who picked out John (steaming in like Carlos Alberto) who thumped it home.

In the second half, a HUGE moment came in the match. Walkern attacked and a great effort by their striker was acrobatically turned round the post by Dave in goal. Was it a turning point? It certainly was. His comedy punched clearance in the first half is now forgotten. That moment from the manager lifted the whole team. He really is an inspiration. (Gavin is a kiss arse!)

Suddenly we were playing total football, led by the surging runs of Ali, the energy of Chris W and the passing skills of Bully. Gavin scored his second with a run and a shot from outside the area. Then Ali scored the first of his three. And that was it…the game was gone from Walkern. A blatant penalty against Richard wasn’t given but it didn’t matter. The goals just kept on coming and some of them were beauties. Ali’s second one was reminiscent of the England v Holland classic scored by Shearer. For Gascoigne and Sheringham, read Boyle and Simpson. Ali’s final goal…the dink over the goalie was lovely and as the Walkern goalie remarked ‘…they’re taking the piss now.’ – ahhh yes…and it felt good. Gavin Mentioned again!!) should have scored six but was happy with his second hat-trick of the season. Defensively we were sound despite the dominance. It could have been easy to get a bit over-confident but Chris G marshalled the defence well alongside Tony. Brendan, Chairman Al and Darren all came forward and supported attack from their full-back positions. Chris C made his comeback and played solidly on the left midfield. Vinny showed that he can play centre-back as well as centre-forward. That kind of versatility could be crucial when we’re searching for a Plan B in competitive league matches.

And that was it. 7-1. Comprehensive stuff without a phantom goal in sight. Complaints were made that we had a young side out but that’s slightly hypocritical given the last match – there were certainly no twenty year-olds in our team. I skipped off early to go back for my gammon roast and therefore didn’t go to the pub but I’m sure we revelled in the glory of it all, although slightly stinky as the showers didn’t work. Oh well. Can we tell Chairman Al the F1 result now? It was Rosberg. Next match is against the Saints at home. The last league match. COME ON!!! Let’s make 3rd our own.

Knobs 1 Walkern 4

Strange result but fairly easily explained. We lost in the goalkeeping department.

Kicking uphill we played some very impressive stuff unluckily failing to net. They managed a couple of chances, without any fluidity of play, which they badly missed. One gorgeous move between Phil and Steve ended with a first time Phil rocket which shaved the goal. Another pleasing move saw a Gerry centre across the face of the goal see Vinnie's close range poke glide wide. The post took a battering! At the back Ian was having a blinding debut, heading

powerfully, intercepting well, talking well and showing an ability to play balls forward with pace and power. 0-0 at half time. Bill and John were proving solid at full backs, allaying fears of the doubters. An unchanged set up second half would have been just the job kicking downhill. But with the current keeper Dave, improving between the sticks with every game, itching for a game out Twiggy volunteered for a stint at keeper. Not one one of John's more inspired games as Knob guardian. But he did volunteer not many others would. They swiftly scored three and the game was irretrievable. Who am I to say the winning or competing is all?

True their fourth goal came via an 18 year old's sprint forward and a diving header by their 17 year old centre forward but the presence of these two youngsters was not the reason for the defeat though hardly a part of vets football ethos. I thought we handled them really well.

If we want to win games we either need a keeper or we use Dave. If it's a case of people just taking a turn between the posts then we must quietly accept the consequences, often they will spell defeat despite any good outfield play we muster. By the way during the last ten minutes their strapping 17 year old asked me four times how long was left! Hardly the confidence of superior youth.

We pegged back a goal from a Steve penalty after both Ali and Vinny were pushed at a corner by the same marker. Soft? Nah, stone dead penalty. Their keeper produced two world class reflex saves to prevent a narrowing of the arrears.

For the benefit of their manager Tony we played 90 minutes + 3 minutes over time at the end of the first and second halves.

I thought Ali was terrific, Steve was effective till subdued by his ankle problem, Vinny put himself about, Phil was classy and was unlucky with volleys, Gerry was wholehearted and effective and everyone played well I thought.

Next week a return game against this mob which I fully anticipate will be a Knobs' victory

MBDA 3 Knobs 1

Arriving 15 minutes into the game on an exceptionally sunny day one was pleasantly surprised to see the Knobs were 1-0 up. Gavin had slotted home a loose ball after an Ali (that Ali) shot had been parried. Early impressions were that Gavin and Andy could very well be on the verge of a field day with their speed. Gavin a few yards out could hardly miss had he not been so obviously fouled from behind. Some referees do not like to give penalties. They then came into the game with three goal attempts in a short space of time which did not bode well for the rest of the match. None registered.
An old bugbear but one to bear in mind, on off substitutions can disturb team coherence and radically alter the flow of the performance, rarely is there an improvement in a competitive game of substituting on the grounds of constitutional dictats.
Opinions as to team shape and who should play in which position is a matter of many opinions but I felt in the context of this game, certainly, that Vinnie would have been most potent in the final third of the pitch harrassing their back four who were too comfortably winning balls and being afforded time to distribute it constructively.
Mind you they are a good side and looked individually comfortable throughout. They probably deserved their win over the piece showing coherence and high energy levels. The boy Paine/ Payne (or simply whingeing cunt) was a threat throughout and was strong on the ball making two of their goals with crosses. Theoretically all three goals were preventable in that the moves were not robustly contested but you could say that about most goals. They were probably the fitter side but having said that how many of our players probably had energy left to burn by the end but were conserving it to lift pint glasses later.
Gavin makes a crap linesman by the way, likes to chat to the crowd too much- me and Bill.
Nowt much more to say other than there was a good turn out in the 'garden' of the Royal Oak where drinks were quoffed and a 'splendid' sandwich buffet was enjoyed.
Next week Easter Sunday there is a game away to Walkern probably at Thomas Alleyne school, hope the availability is positive.

Goldings 5 Knobs 1 - Report by Twiggy

What a cock up all round! On Saturday night after emailing and texting everybody and putting the team up on the blog, I assumed that we would have 13 players. By Sunday morning this had turned into 9 and a half. Apologies to Jamie and Joel – it would appear that the “up-to-date” list of players’ emails and telephone numbers didn’t have you on it after all. I did wonder why james-buck@sky.com failed to reply to the two emails I sent him asking whether he was going direct – not surprising because he wasn’t you in the first place! All this and I had refused two players a game as well, thinking that 13 would be sufficient, not knowing that Crossers would cry off after his funny turn at the Olympics Park on Saturday, apparently the effort involved after being asked to say “Bonjour” in English proved all too great.

And so it was with the rest of the ten who started on Sunday. We could easily have beaten Goldings with any eleven of our players and probably could have done the same with ten if we had approached the game with something akin to a positive attitude.

Right from the start it became clear that it wasn’t our day when Bully missed a penalty in the opening minutes after Richard had been scythed down in the area. Bully was clearly out of breath at that point and despatched the kick limply and wide, not at all with his usual aplomb.

During the first half we played some excellent football with Chris W, Phil, John , Darren and Bully linking up well in spells. Golding’s efforts were poor given our one-man deficit, which eventually told when a long looping cross was volleyed in at the far post. Chris W responded for us but after another fluky deflected attempt from Goldings went in we retired for our half-time talk 2-1 down.

Chris G seized the moment and decided that he would like to make changes….but then realised this might be made more difficult by the -1 on the subs bench.
We were still in it though, and had several good chances before conceding again. The floodgates then opened when Phil had to retire half way through the second half to fulfil family commitments, a goal and disputed penalty ensued, end result 5-1.

ChrisG, Bill and I made it up to the Golden Griffin in an attempt to eat 11players’ sandwiches, sausage rolls and pork pies.
Tellingly, the oppo enquired as to why Bully had his arse in his hand all match – can’t imagine why?

Sack the management I say!

Blunham 4 Knobs 1 - Report by Gavin Simpson

To be honest, we could have probably won it. Looking back, if we had converted some of our chances in the first half the game could have been radically different. Talking of radical, the curse of Mothers’ Day struck again and the team on Sunday compared no comparison to the team the week before. Some would argue that the ageing side was the reason we lost but as I’ve already written, we could have won it. But before people criticise the team, a lot of the time it is said that we win as a team and we lost as a team but I think it is important to point out that we win as a squad and we lose as a squad. All eleven players featured for the 90 minutes. That’s tough against a team who knock it around like Blunham do. It was okay in the first half but it became more difficult in the second half and as the game got stretched we became more vulnerable and hence the goals they scored. Now…onto the game. Twiggy had a difficult selection dilemma as we had a lot of defenders but that didn’t stop us attacking well in the first half. Gavin had one tipped round the post and dreadfully dallied at a second opportunity when clear through. New player Gary hit a barn-stormer that just went narrowly wide and there were a few other scrambled attempts. Paul didn’t have much to do in goal until the last few minutes when a long ball over the top led to a one-on-one. We were all willing him to come off his line to close the striker down but alas, he went the other way back on to his line and that meant 1-0 to Blunham. In the second half they came out strongly with a new formation and we couldn’t cope. We were starved of possession and soon found ourselves down 4-0, with their 4th goal being particularly good. We still had chances, Brendan had a header saved, Gavin blazed one over and saw a weak header go wide. Finally we did get a goal as Des rampaged forward with Tony on his outside. He chose not to pass to him and it somehow ended up ricocheting off a defender, Gavin passed it back to Brendan who unleashed a ripper of a shot from 40 yards (divided by 4) past their keeper. Only days before he had scored a goal for a Rest of the World XI vs Latin America XI – he’s on a roll!!!! I forgot that minutes before that a blatant penalty had not been given and in the final seconds Martin (our other new player) headed just over from a corner. It was a tough game, played in good spirit and for a while in that first half, we played some lovely passing football with Bully, Ali, Tony and Martin being particularly effective. We were pretty solid at the back with Chris and Bill in the back four and like I said, Paul rarely had a save to make. So…our league run has ended and the fight for 3rd place continues. Well done to all those who turned up and put in lots of energy. It was disappointing not to come away with something. Anyway, onwards and upwards!!!