A Welcome From Sir Ronald

Welcome to the ramblings of Sir Ronald and his KNOBS. Do take the time to browse around and participate in the blog.

Older, slower and fatter than ever, that's the KNOBS!

Monday, 20 February 2012

Ware Strollers 0 Knobs 4 - report by Dandy Dave

Now that there's no snow to be seen i would have expected a pitch that was sodden and full of mud. In fact i was surprised because the pitch we played on was sodden and full of mud! I was also surprised to find that we turned up at the ground with no kit. It took us all 10 minutes to realise that the kit hadn't made it's way to the ground as Jamie forgot to pass it on to the nearest consenting adult (there's not many of them in the team) That said we were offered an oversized kit which was originally set aside for the Bengeo fat fighters club. Well played Ware Strollers for the offer. Little did they know we were going to beat them comprehensively in their own shirts. The game kicked off with us playing against a low lying sun on a very muddy surface which we coped with better than we have in the past. From the off our back 4 were resolute and strong with lots of encouragement and positive talking .Chris G and Brendan played like a pair of seasoned pros snuffling any chances that came Ware's way.Ware's lone centre forward who had a low centre of gravity wasn't given any chance of turning to make space for himself to shoot. If he did have any opportunity he was promptly closed down by Ally, Chris, Brendan or Darren. Well done,solid to the final whistle. Once we found our rhythm we began to play some attractive football especially in the middle where we had 4 players supporting Bully who was stroking the ball to our wingers or wing backs. In saying that it was master craftsman Bully who played a wide ball out to Darren who found himself in acres of farmland before unleashing a thunder bolt of a shot which ripped the top corner of the net. To say Darren was ecstatic would be an understatement. His new boots have already paid dividends. It's what the game was asking for and it put us in the ascendancy 30 minutes gone and a Bully corner found the head of John B who dispatched a nice little flick on to make it 2 nil. Some say it was an OG im not so sure can anyone clarify? The second half started as usual with us taking our foot off the gas and letting the oppo play football. We put ourselves under alot of unnecessary pressure. Lucky for us Ware didn't have decent enough players to give our keeper any problems. Please feel free to make your comments on our keepers performance. Trevor seems a distant memory at the moment! We weathered any storm that was put in front of us and after 20 minutes Vinny found himself in a position where he could have made it 3 nil. Instead he found the tallest tree in Bengeo to kick the ball at and it nestled in the branches approximately 120 feet above sea level. Not to be down beat he found himself in a one on one with the keeper 3 minutes later which some how ended up with the ball being smacked at him and rebounding in to the net. Vinny's second and 12th of the season was a sumptuous placed shot using the defender as a foil and curling it in the bottom corner of the net from 18 yards. Lots of chips bread and pizza at the White Hart afterwards which saw a pretty good turn out.The 451 formation is working well at present although some say it depends on your personnel or who you play. I think its about getting the right blend of character and who's up for the fight! I couldn't fault our back 4 plus subs. The midfield were tight and did not shirk from their responsibility's, eg-: Steve Bull slide tackling in our penalty box and taking out Chris G. Un heard of!! Both wingers making a nuisance of them selves and central midfield being the engine of the team, whilst our lone striker whether it be Vinny or Andy was a hand full to say the least. I wouldn't hesitate to pick this team for next week. Talking of next week we are playing UCL Accies minus John B who only plays on certain Sundays iv' e been told. Get a fucking grip man, at your age you should appreciate playing every game.
A quick foot note:- Did our keeper have a good game? Answers on a post card.

Tutty Bye!

Sunday, 5 February 2012

Sandy /Blunham v Knobs cancelled

Cancelled due to winter. We have a full fixture list so I do not know who we should scrub in order to fit in a rescheduled Blunham game. Suggestions?
Of course we could suggest May 29th, a Saturday date or a midweek evening date, they must have lights at Biggleswade.
Next week away v Ware, in the league, winter permitting.
Nothing much to say now except I see Newcastle won again and are above Arsenal in the league.
Cisse and Ba, cor blimey, wait till we get Tiotti and Cabaye back!
Bye Bye.
Cocky Pike.

Sunday, 29 January 2012

Knobs 5 Sandridge Rovers 1

A keenly fought contest deservedly won by the home side. Never seemed to be a feeling that this would be anything other than Knobs day even though at halftime the score stood at 1-1.
First half some neat approach play was exhibited by both sides without either keeper being particularly busy. A flighted Bully corner was emphatically headed in by Vinnie, helped in no little way by a speedy decoy run to the front post by Gavin. More of this sort of initiative at set pieces please. Static is bad! They broke for an equaliser, a nice move, well finished. Knobs desperate appeals for offside fell on Brendan's deaf ears (he being linesman at the time).
Voices were raised in anger at half time in the home ranks as demon Dave, the new Arsene or was that Arse struggled to get his points across. Something along the lines of "don't pass to Bully or summat....". I were miles away trying as ever to adopt a posture of neutrality whilst cleaning sputum out of me whistle so I'm hearing this second hand like.
Second half we kicked down and raided frequently and often effectively, scoring another four and perhaps should have had more.
Gavin really started to motor and arguably was the main difference between the two sides, they had noone remotely as quick either defending or going forward. Tearing downfield and in from the left he was scythed down from behind as he approached the goal . Steve Bull made no mistake from the spot. A similar run saw him in on goal again before the last man buggered him, just outside the area this time. Steve's free kick , left to right, was a beauty with height and pace into the top corner.
Another Gavin sprint saw him kicked down from behind just feet short of the try line. Another penalty another Bully goal. Mr Bull has achieved a hattrick and this on a morning when Tony and himself put a whole net up by themselves! The professionals!
Moaning re refereeing?
I can only note that not once did I butcher Gavin down from behind. The opposition's intent was to stop him scoring by foul means. They did not care if he, during his descent to earth, was injured! People are amazing. I rest my case. Except to say at least two of the fouls on Gavin when he was in on goal would have led, according to our modern rules, to two men being sent off. Kindness and lenience were not acknowledged.
The fifth goal was a piece of slack defending on their part. A cross ball was ignored except by Gavin-pants-on fire who kept it in near the by line , squared it across goal for Chris Cox to sidefoot home unopposed.
Dave's use of the ball from his hands (he was keeper) was a tad on the slow side and was irking the oppo. We did learn that Dave can count to 10, some even said 11, and next week he starts on his letters. After a warning his distribution thereafter was exemplary. I don't like teasing opposition when you're on top, very poor form, just go for the next goal that's how you show class. Olay out, play up and at 'em in.
Some good moves today, particularly one leading to one of Gavin's slaloms. Jamie defended in his own area, flicking over an attacker's head, thrust forward, retrieved the ball and sent Gav on his merry way. Very pleasing.
Man of match , despite the emphatic dispatching of two penalties and a free kick by Steve, must have been Gavin I would have thought. What do yous think?
A good turn out out by both sides in the pub where the absentee list for next week grew at an alarming rate. It's me and Brendan with Dave in goal.
TIP of the week, "Don't tackle Vinny!"
Yer ould mate.
PIKEY

Sunday, 22 January 2012

Knobs 4 Therfield 1

Got a bit mouthy second half- wondered where my headache came from. Still there's humanity for you- all shapes and sizes hurtling toward decrepitude and oblivion. But for the moment you are there. Knebworth Rec on a Sunday morning- centre of the universe, nothing else matters!
A poor first half saw Knobs get away with things in that the wide open route down the middle only led to a single goal being conceded. Four across the middle with the outer two not tucking in to crowd and help out in the centre and with Chris Cox following the lively young lad to both left and right led to numerous situations where Steve was alone to shore up the centre. Anyway they scored with one long ranger from such a situation and that was that. Knobs equalised with an opportunist, edge of the box punt looping over the keeper. Well done Chris Cox.
1-1 halftime, the second half would inevitably test their energy kicking uphill and so it proved.
Despite our attacks it felt uncomfortably close until Vinnie slotted home the fourth from a nice square ball from Jamie, with 10 minutes to go.
Immediately from the kick off at the start of the second half, Steve arrowed a ball forward to the sprinting Gavin
(great) and found him in acres of space in their penalty area. With goal of the season beckoning Gavin tried the outrageous lob and got it wrong somewhat (not so great), two touches and he was walking it in unchallenged. Still twas very enterprising.
Gavin was to cause them untold problems with his pace and he subsequently lashed in two goals for himself, the second and the third, the break where his shot found the net from the underside of the bar was very pleasing to the eye. Well to most other people's eyes, I couldn't see if it was in. No technology you see. It was obviously a goal, none of them disputed it!
At 3-1 they claimed hard done by when a penalty was refused them. Bloke does a drag back in a congested area and falls down complaining. At best he kicked into the innocent defender as he was weaving his magic (shite) and propels himself to the ground. At worst he got tired and fell over. (He was a livewire nevertheless and a decent "young" lad). After this the murmurrings on the right were rising hysterically, as John B and their man, the one with the humour of a coffin lid feuded verbally for the last half hour. There's history there.. zzzzzzzzz..... As long as it remains banter what's the problem? Another victory for the Knobs, where is this leading? Unbeaten for the rest of the season? Sandridge next week.
Hard to choose a mom- Vinnie excellent some dainty exquisite passes and some ennervating crunching tackles. Chris Griffiths read and played things well. Steve mixed the sublime with the ..... not so sublime. Gavin was a pest for them the whole game and Chris Cox had a very steady midfield game. Jamie hit one gorgeous left to right diagonal ball and everyone contributed. So take your pick.
After a hard afternoon's housework I was returning home after walking the dog around 7.30 and swaying down Watton Road came an inebriated Spurs fan returning from Knobs lunch time post match celebrations. "Hello John Boyle, neighbour and friend, whose Therfield friends call 'Big Nose' (true!!), what ails ye lad?" Och, Spurs got beat and apparently I must have missed that shit Nelly kicking Parker in the head. Well I missed a few things today!
Go thee well young John and may your headaches be small.
Toodle pip!

Monday, 16 January 2012

Knobs 4 Harpenden 2

A short blog- cos time's short perhaps some commenteers can fill in the missing bits.
A frosty pitch, bonehard and barely playable at the start softened up nicely as did Harpenden after their ascendancy for the first half hour. They didn't score six only one before we woke up and realised the ball was our friend and their goal could be attacked within the rules of the game.
I guess the start could be put down to us being far far less adaptable to a far from friendly, untrustworthy surface which Harpenden worked on with energy.
John Twigg, in goal, pulled off a full length diving save before they scored from an ill defended corner. We scored from our second attack after half an hour when the younger Ali entered the fray, replacing a bemused Brendan (the hogger of Bully's space) and made and scored himself a goal which showed skill and determination. They scored from a direct free kick after Monsiuer Boyle was adjudged to have fouled their guy out on the left. the bastard never waited for our wall! Cos he didn't have to.
Vinnie scored , hit the post and generally created a bit of mayhem before half time intervened.
Second half Harpenden rarely threatened except for one sitter of a header missed when they were 4-2 adrift. Some superb, calculated passing and a much higher energy output saw the Knobs dominate the second half. The John Boyle goal saw us play the ball out silkily and swiftly from from our left back position diagonally to the right where John ran onto it before smashing it home from an oblique angle. He loves those angles and rarely misses, shades of 5 a side. Vinnie got his second from close range with an assist from a foraging Gerry, as he did his first if my degenerating memory bank serves me well.
Brendan came back on to occupy a bit more space, then hobbled off with an ankle knock and jet lag. Can we have a nano Brendan who doesn't take up any space?
Everyone contributed especially in the last hour. New Ali was excellent in the40 minutes he played, Gerry was mom for industry, endeavour and guts over the piece but there was some very nice football so pleasing on the eye.
Next week the village of Therfield bring the pride of their loins to compete with us at Fortress Knebworth make sure you are there.

Monday, 9 January 2012

Knobs 9 (or 8) Litlington 1

Happy New Year.
Three weeks off and a desire to play leads to a comprehensive victory. Should I have less fixtures if this is the response to a long break? It makes me wonder- please tell us the committee before next seaeson's fixtures are arranged. Lots of vets sides don't have as many fixtures as I squeeze in to the calender!
After a slow start- five or so minutes, we got on top and slaughtered the oppo. Mind you it was a matter of time before we hit somebody.
I really can't remember the goals as they went in, but I enjoyed several of them. I know some sumptious passes by the man they call Bull led to some lovely finishes. The first saw Andy hasten toward goal before smashing home unstoppably. The second saw Vinny put through and he steadied before picking his spot. The third Andy's cross shot saw the goalie parry but Vinnie was there to tap home. They scored one on the break with Paul Berry (ex Knobs) scoring before my favourite goal of the game, saw Bill (aged 55 ) coursing foreward and receiving a Bully pass, steady himself and chipping the keeper. Half time 4-1.
Chris Wilson was having a blinder and all others were competence personified, Before scoring, new keeper Dave had saved with an immaculate punch from a dangerous cross. Well doneall!
Second half we just controlled things and got better- I think. New man Jamie showed his paces and Gerry contributed well. Goals came regularly apparently Vinnie notched four and so so did a rejuvenated Andy. I can't remember them, except for a Jamie cross coming back off the bar and Andy slotting home. One Andy scored which I thought fine but was abused by the oppo for offside after their bloke cannoned it back into his path- I may be wrong with the rules nowadays but we were 7-1 up at the time and the abuse from one or two of them was both out of order and unnecessary.
Wankers !
Next week it's Harpenden, how many heroes will play?
Pub saw a big turn out though the delay in the food by the Station was crap. Can we urge them to be a bit more on the ball next week and the following four weeks please?

Man of the match for me Chris Wilson. Steve Bull excellent first half and Andy and Vinny score 4 each. Tony back to his best. tackle of the game John Boyle ,why was their bloke whingeing?

Monday, 19 December 2011

Knobs 1 Steve's birthday boys 3

Everyone a winner!
The pre match mind games and subterfuge were not influential. A fair, strongly competed match ensued. Weather of sleet at first, then sun, then cloud so that was all nice. Trevor returned to the Knobs goal and the Knobs had 15 available including Gavin who turned up for the second half and Steve had 13.
Knobs were in the tight, black kit and the Bullsmen wore the yellow- a distinct advantage for the latter.
Knobs defended the bottom goal first half or should have. A very poor showing in which we seemed lethargic, stiff and to be honest, past it. An early incident saw Dave tackle Steve leaving the latter limping but far from subdued. Dave unfortunately suffered the worst coming off with his knee in tatters. He's out until after Christmas. Christmas 2013.
Steve then enjoyed probably his best game of the season assisted probably, no undoubtedly, by our dearth of midfield presence. How many times did Chris Wilson (strong game) find himself up against four men in the first half? Often we paraded, two advanced players, yawning gap, Chris, then another yawning gap before encountering our very deep defensive back four. Far far too stretched when kicking uphill against a fairly energetic side with individuals who could play a bit.
They scored with annoying regularity. I remember little of the goals, though Brendan was blamed for all three. He actually smilingly acknowledged his contributions. But he paid his dues as well as his penance by attending both venues for Steve's post match celebrations and taxiing people to and from Rileys. Good lad. Half time 3-0 to Steve.
Second half shaded by Knobs but we only clawed back the one goal , a fine deep cross by Paul Crosby emphatically placed in the net by John B's head. Andy did hit a post late on but there were no sitters missed as in our past two games since we hardly created any clear cut chances. But the endeavour was good to see and the first half rot was stopped. On such a day as this a brisk, warm up should be the order of the day so that individuals start with some degree of fluidity.
Nice to see Phil Wells turn out, please come again. Everyone was highly pleased that Tony failed to capitalise on a defensive error when through one on one with the keeper. Phew!
Hope Alistair's head is better after his battering by rough boy Trevor.
Thanks to MBDA's Les for reffing the game.
The showers were broken hence freezing. Paul Crosby became the only clean Knob but Bill and John sneaked home to clean up. Why?
The Station was packed to the rafters. It was like being back at school, never seen as many kids.
Steve friends were well represented and most of the Knobs side turned up. A merry scene ensued before the food arrived - lovely!!!!!!
It was then off to Rileys to see Arsenal lose to Man City but mainly to continue drinking the drink at Steve's expense. A couple of us threw in the towel at seven so I cannot say what happened later.
Finally all our thoughts were with Chris Cox yesterday in the wake of the very sad event in his life last weeek. We wish him all the best and obviously anything we can do to help we will be here for him.
COCK!?